To ask for your best examples of brass-neckedness to entertain us all on this dull day?

[Salmotrutta]

I've got one from decades ago.

My older brother was about 18 and going out with a girl of about 16.

It was pretty short lived as she seemed to be a bit spoiled etc. and they were only teens after all.

My brother was the one who ended it but girl seemed to think Mum was behind it.

Mum wasn't but she had asked to girl to help bring in washing during the rain when she stayed over at our house one weekend as mum was in the middle of something when rain started.

This was apparently a criminal act to ask someone for a bit of help so girlfriend moaned to brother (who I think had got rather exasperated by her anyway by this point) and he ended it.

Apparently this did not go down well.

Next thing, her little sister phoned my Mum and castigated her for being the cause of all this! Little sister would have been about 14 and mum would have been about 45!

That didn't go down well either.

I moved into a shared house with a group of four professionals when I started my first job. We had the general issues down to sharing cooking, etc, but nothing that unusual as I am a fairly easy going person.

I used to spend one weekend in the house, and the following weekend at my home city. I arrived home one weekend on a Sunday night, absolutely knackered after 2 hours on the train/bus. There was nobody home. As I climbed the stairs I noticed that my door had been bust open (we had separate Yale locks on the door), and assumed we must have been broken into. Entering my room I noticed that the bed was a mess (big dirty mud marks all over the sheets), my lamp was broke, my cleaning stuff (shampoo, deodorants, etc) were all empty, my videos and computer were clearly used and yet nothing appeared to be stolen?

When one of the flatmates arrived home with his girlfriend they told me that one of their friends had broken in to my room and slept in my room, I showed them the mess and he didn't seem to think it was much of an issue, and that it was just someone drunk. I went off the wall, and said I would like to know who this friend was, the person neither offered to help sort out the problems, pay for the new locks, fix the breakages, or in any way appeared to be shamed about it. His gf at least had the decency to offer to help clean up, and was v apologetic when away from her bf. I told her that she should mention that no one was to ever come around to the house from his friends or I may not be able to control my emotions

A couple of weeks after I'd thrown my ex out, he phoned to inform me that I would be booking myself into a B and B or hotel for the weekend as he would be staying in my house with his new girlfriend for the weekend. I was also ordered to make sure there was enough food for them.

My answer ended with 'off' and I had the locks changed just in case!

After a tumultuous relationship with gorgeous but crazy guy at Uni we broke up at the end of term, just around exam time.

Over the course of the relationship the guy had taken loads of my stuff, a gorgeous fair isle sweater and other clothes, books etc. He also took advantage of my goodwill -- I baked lovely cakes and biscuits for him all the time.

For two weeks I called and left messages asking for everything back (before Uni ended and he and my stuff went back to his parents home!). Nothing. Refused to return phone calls.

Finally he calls. But not about my stuff. He phones to ask if I could make him a batch of 'those delicious chocolate chip cookies' that I'd made before 'to help get him through exams. Wtf??!

Reader, I made those cookies laced with hefty amounts of chocolate Ex-Lax (american laxative brand). Never found out how his exams went but hopefully he spent most of them in the toilet!!

Moved in with then dp who had a house with his sister. Sil was moving out to relocate to the other end of the country and I was going to take over her share of the mortgage and bills.

She was back within three months because things hadn't gone to plan with her new relationship and work and moved herself back in - which was fair enough it was half her house... Except that once she had moved back she announced that dp and I would be moving out because she had decided her friend would be moving in Dp told her no way and we all stayed put and they put the place on the market.

Ex-Lax is a laxative in the UK too, william - excellent revenge!

Donnakim - did you have a word with your store manager as well to ask if she had actually told him he could do that, and if she had, give her a stern ticking off too?

I've thought of one that won't out me!

I'm loving most of these, the others I'm horrified at and I'm surprised you're on the internet to tell the tale. I'd have gotten my sweet revenge and been in prison .

Anyway...............me and DH (he wasn't my DH at the time, we were 21) were invited to pil's house for Sunday lunch as a good friend from overseas was there visiting. PIL don't live far, 20 mins or so by car. We got there had lunch, listened to very posh Mrs Fortesque-Smythe-Harrington-Dowton-Fevertree-Tonic-D'VonTrapp (not real name, just highlighting that she was REALLY posh, not so much a plum in her mouth, a whole fucking orchard, could barely understand her) talk for ages about life in Kenya and her safari business.

It was asked of DH by PIL if he would drive Mrs Posh to the bus station (45 mins away) so Mrs P could get the coach to wherever. DH asked what time "I must be there by 5.30." No please or thank you, you're very kind. Nothing.
"Yep no problem, we'll leave here 4.45 then."
We made it clear that we wouldn't be returning after and all was good.
At 4 we reminded Mrs P that she needs to check all her stuff was together so we can put it in the car. "Yah, yah I know."
Anyway we started making noises about leaving at 4.30 as she poured herself another cup of tea. DH was getting worried that she'll miss her coach was trying to cattle prod (as politely as possible) the woman towards saying goodbye and towards the car.

She took a fucking age, dilly dallying here and there, just checking she needed "one last nose powder" (wee, and she wasn't wearing make up, I know that because she told and said I wore too much). In fact she spent much of the afternoon putting me down (aren't your parents disappointed you didn't go to uni? You own a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, vile creatures! Your father is a solicitor, they're like vultures!! I should know I live in Keeeenyah!). Bitch.

We finally got the woman in the car at 5.10!!! As we were driving DH was being polite and having a little chit chat with her and she replied in get short one word answers. DH and I were quite confused but continued anyway. Then she shouted, actually SHOUTED!!!

"WILL YOU TWO STOP TWITTERING ON AND JUST DRIVE FASTER, I'M LATE YOU KNOW!"

I'm ashamed to say I said nothing back, I was too shocked. That woman never said thank you, offered petrol money (we wouldn't have taken), didn't say sorry or on return visits bring a token gesture of thanks.

I did however get out of the car and headed to the "loo" so I didn't have to say goodbye or make small talk with her, it was my car and petrol we used.

We've never gone to pil's when she's been there since.

Thumbwitch I did speak to her, but got as far as "so that locum..." Before she rolled her eyes and asked what he'd done now! He has never been asked to come back...

Very 'entertaining' thread, made good bedtime reading for the past week!

Not a patch on some of these, but I have one to add. When we lived abroad we lived very rurally on the top of a hill, essentially a house in a large field. We had a fantastic rosehip bush along the fence which met the lane. One year it had a wonderful crop and we were ready to spend the morning picking them before a bumper jam and syrup making session. DH was outside when he noticed the bush moving - one of the neighbours from the village had walked up the hill to ours with her rake and special basket especially to ransack our rosehip from the other side of the fence!! Even worse, when DH challenged her, her reply was "What?! You don't need them!" And she walked off in a huff!

And it wasn't unusual for us to come home and find a shepherd sitting at our garden table with his sheep wandering around our garden

The ones about people pinching your crops are interesting. I can't believe some people think that's an acceptable thing to do! Our neighbour helps herself to our butternut squash. We were very annoyed at first until a few months later when we found she'd kept the seeds and planted the seedlings in little pots and left them on the garden wall for dh to plant again!

My grandparents live in a southern European place which is famous with tourists.

they had a plot of land with orange trees, pomegranates, lemons, and so on and also one year my grandad was growing sweetcorn...

so some lovely brits (yes they were brits, we saw the car) decided to stop the car, climb the wall and help themselves to the sweetcorn...

of course, just because it is by a road it's for everyone to take. twats

We eat our neighbor's raspberries but they told us too, honest!

*t

Ffs to.

Yes, definitely a twat.

It is a strange thing, taking other people's food from their gardens. What makes people think it's ok?!

We also had a fantastic strawberry garden, the position they were in meant they was always a wonderful huge crop of sweet strawberries. One day our dog ran away and two boys helped us get him back. When we got back to the house we gave them a big bag of strawberries to take home as a thank you. More than once after that we'd catch them in amongst our strawberries picking them and filling bags to take home!!

Thought of another one.
Before we had children me and DH worked stupid hours in a pub and would house sit for his parents when they went on holiday. The farmhouse has a public footpath running straight past it and one Saturday afternoon we dozed off on the sofa after a long shift and woke to see half a dozen backpackers staring in through the window and taking pictures of us. He went outside and politely told them to jog on to be told that it was a public right of way and the could take pictures of whatever they wanted! Then they asked if he could make them cups of tea...
Cheeky bastards.

my friend minds children....who 'do her head in'

so she brings them round to my house, to eat all my snacks and drink all my drinks and break all our toys...then fucks off without even clearing up.

i must have mug tattooed on my forehead

I had a Uni friend who was always a "little" spoiled with princess tendencies and expected us to dance attendance. When we graduated into the big bad world - I kinda thought she had grown up.

Another pal from my work had a spare room in her lovely home and needed a lodger. Afore mentionned princess needed a room for a short while whilst she was in process of buying a house, getting it renovated and moving in.
Seemed a solution to both their needs to introduce them and see if they could sort something out.

I wouldnt say the whole living together went too smoothly but it came to a head on princesses's moving out day.

Pal returned from work to find that princess had taken all the cleaning materials, emptied the freezer of food, taken contents of drinks cabinets and wine stock, helped herself to pal's toiletries supply of loo rolls / toothpaste etc and also made merry with larder contents.

She also took the bedroom furniture, bed, duvet / duvet cover and matching curtains etc from her rented room. Left an empty shell. All the above were the property of pal btw.

She helped herself to some very nice cushions with matching rug and curtains from the living room as well.

Princesses's justifcations-
" I liked them - you should be flattered we share the same taste"
" I needed them - my budget didnt stretch to bedroom furniture and yours were nicer than anything I could afford"
"but my rent paid for those toiletries / food / cases of wine surely?!"

She refused to return any of it and refused to let pal across her doorstep to claim back her possesions.

pal also received a phonecall from princess's mum who was disgusted that pal expected her dear darling daughter to NOT have such nice bedrooom furniture - " do you really think she could cope with ikea stuff?"

pal and i were at princess's barefaced cheek.
pal and i were no longer friends with princess.............

MehsMum I'd love to write a joint 'SIL from hell' book, but I fear my SIL alone would fill several volumes! She is pretty spectacular!

One birthday my evil SIL bought me a make up set.

A few weeks later I saw an ad on the back of a sunday magazine for a lovely necklace which came with a free make up set!! My make up set.
She'd bought the necklace, kept it for herself and given me the bloody freebie!!!

weeoonion - I'd have had the police on her doorstep quicksmart over that!

My Dad had some stuff kept in a cupboard at his church - he was asked to empty it out, as the new bloke wanted the cupboard for something else (cupboards had been bought specifically for my Dad's stuff). He went round to empty them, taking the keys for the padlocks, only to find they'd been broken into and emptied. He queried it with the church committee and the woman in charge said (lied) that Dad had told her to do what she liked with the contents. Dad said he'd said no such thing and he wanted his stuff back; they then lied more and said it had mostly been thrown out or sent to another branch of the organisation - Dad phoned said branch and they said "Nope, we haven't got any of it" - so Dad contacted new incumbent and said "I'll be calling the police about this".
Oddly enough, next night, new bloke and committee woman turned up at his door with faces like thunder and 90% of the missing stuff (minus the most expensive items). Dad hasn't been back to that church.

Our wedding was held in a venue which is about an hours drive from where my family live. On the morning of the wedding, whilst I was getting my hair done, my cousin who was giving a reading text me to tell me that she wouldn't be able to make it (her DP was also invited) because she had work the next day. My cousin can drive and has a car.

I had a very strained relationship with MIL, who used to belittle me and put me down a lot. We invited her and FIL round for a BBQ when DS was a very small baby and I was sleep deprived. We spent the day cleaning the house, doing the garden, making everything look absolutely perfect. I made chicken kebabs (on skewers) and steaks and put loads of effort into the food and wine.

When they arrived, oddly she went and sat at the very far end of the garden instead of on the patio near the house and demanded to my DH that I bring her a glass of wine. He said that perhaps she could go and collect it from the kitchen as I was so busy with DS and brining the food out etc and he was lighting the BBQ. She shouted out that she was insulted by that, as SHE was the guest and I could do with the exercise anyway, get some of my fat off!

I was obviously quite upset by this and went upstairs and burst into tears. I composed myself and was only gone 5 minutes and about to go downstairs again but heard PIL move through our house and out of the front door and get in their car. (DH had ticked his mother off and she had decided they were unwelcome).

Still upstairs I heard MIL come back inside and go to the kitchen. She took 2 plates, loaded 2 raw steaks and 2 raw chicken skewers on them with some salad, picked up a bottle of wine and walked off back to the car!!

I've never really been able to fathom that one.

As a first year uni student a flare mate moved her 32 year old boyfriend in after two weeks. He was only staying for two weeks.... He stayed the entire year, our bills were still split four ways not five so effectively we were paying for him to stay.
Apparently I was totally unreasonable being angry about this and rude for asking for his share of the bills. The guy was an utter twat that didn't work but sponged off his girlfriend and us. Oh but he did play the didgeridoo into the early hours!!

Oh thought of another. MIL invited her pal down for a few nights, they visited us. Her pal went into our kitchen and started helping herself to our vodka and ice from our freezer. I think I'm more annoyed about the ice... The vodka was on top of our fridge but I found it really initiative going into someone's freezer.
I didn't say anything as I didn't want to upset MIL!

My ndn grows fruit and veg in his garden. He is a policeman and there are CCTV cameras trained on his drive and garden.
His produce remains untouched :-D