Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

To kick these people out?

999 replies

CompletePushover · 10/01/2014 18:24

7 yrs and this is my first AIBU, and I'm so cowardly I've name changed Grin

So... After years of renting crappy places dh, the 4dcs and I have finally bought a lovely house.

It's great. Needs loads of work doing on it. Lots of potential, completely neglected and now ours. The people who had it before us had some problems and had criminally neglected their animals. The house comes with a field.

Now begins the lovely story. A few years ago Some people passing by saw how neglected the horse in the field was and took it upon themselves to look after it. They did amazing things, built him a shelter, bought him food, trimmed his hooves, all of it.

The horse is a stallion and unbroken but of nice temperament. But it means he can be flighty.

Move on a year and one of the group has taken on most of the care and bought their own horse who now lives rent free in the field.

Two weeks before completion the owner tells us we will be inheriting a cat and that the horses are staying (he's gifted the stallion to the other horse owner)

So... We panicked until lovely horse person came to our door and seemed very nice, and we said they could stay until Easter and then we'd see (rent free).

This all seemed ok, but there have been annoyances: There's no where else to park but in our drive, when we want to wander around the field with the dcs we have to struggle through two horses and it's a nightmare, and now finally we have bought out longed for dog and I can't walk him on my field without someone with me because I can't carry a baby and a puppy and fend off the horses on my own, in December we were told they use one of our sheds for feed, And there are other people who are part of the group who have not introduced themselves to me, but who go on to my field regularly.

So this evening we've let the horse owner know that beyond the end of march we want our field back. At the moment I've used it twice since we moved in and I want to use it daily.

They're not happy. I tell a lie, one is not happy, the other is completely understanding.

I know they did a good thing, I know they put work into the field (shelter and fencing) but I also know they've had free pasture for 18 months in return, and I think it's become a picnic spot for them all.

AIBU? And should I be growing a backbone, because I'm already trying to think of a way to section off some of it, which I know would only end up delaying the inevitable? I'm also worried because I'm in no way insured to have this all going on on my property.

I want nice things for the people who have done good, but at the same time I want to enjoy my home. I also have PND and desperately want to be outside but can't cope with being around people. Just to throw that in there.

OP posts:
CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 09:51

Mrs unreasonable owns both I believe. This is what we've been told by her and others. So ultimately it will be her who will comply or not.

There is access separate to the garden, and the request includes not entering our garden for feed etc. as well as electric fencing, no dogs and a non negotiable end date.

OP posts:
CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 09:52

We're going to try to go down the, "you didn't make this situation, we didn't make this situation, the previous owners did and sadly now we all have to sort it out" route.

OP posts:
CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 12:04

It's been sent :)

Fingers crossed for a positive response

OP posts:
LozzaCro · 16/01/2014 12:30

Another de lurker! Just wanted to say that I have read the whole thing front to back and think you are a lovely, lovely person.

I really do hope everything works out for you, and that the horses are found new home/s soon.

Lauren xx

CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 12:32

Hurray for de lurkers! :)

Thanks Lauren, I'm still feeling mean.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 16/01/2014 12:33

You're not mean! What do you think a farmer would do if he arrived at his new farm and found half the property inhabited by a couple of goats, a few sheep, a bull and 5 donkeys - he's not going to leave them all there whilst his own animals don't get to use his land is he?

CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 12:40

Mistle, a farmer would sell them for dog meat.

I am my name Grin

OP posts:
boschy · 16/01/2014 12:49

CP, I've read the whole thread and think you are so NBU. We had a slightly similar situation when we bought our house, in that 2 horses were grazed in our field, for free, with field shelter etc.

we put up with it for a bit, because I love horses, but when they kept breaking down the fences and roaming the garden I got a bit miffed. especially trying to encourage a 17hh carthorse type back into the field while 8 months pregnant with a 2yo hanging round my knees... I also found it intrusive having the 2 owners just dropping round whenever they wanted to feed/tack up/pick up poo/etc etc etc.

also I would reiterate what everyone else has said about safety - I used to have nightmares looking at the carthorse type's hooves, bigger than the baby's head...

so we said they had to move, and they did, luckily for us. stick at it, just remember how much you want to enjoy your beautiful meadow!

Lavenderhoney · 16/01/2014 13:04

You are not being mean! Stop hand wringing and look forward to using the property you bought!

The only ones being unreasonable here are the freeloaders. They should not have bought another horse- big mistake for the previous owner to allow that- they should have been told to move the stallion to somewhere where he can have company.

They will probably say, as they did before no doubt, no one wants a stallion as it can't really share, he'll have to be shot. You just say " well, you must find a solution as the exit date is x"

Tbh, 30 is pretty good going. That's a life span of a horse, usually. Saying that, I'd be surprised if it has any teeth left and the condition of the ones it has must be dreadful. It most likely won't have a passport, its too old and sounds like its never left the field or had a vet insist on one, been insured etc.

PeterParkerSays · 16/01/2014 13:06

Crikey - how did I miss this epic thread until now? And why didn't I know that goats were stackable? Confused

In terms of keeping them off the field, does your friendly farmer have geese who you could borrow for the next few months? You could also get a no admittance sign made up for the general gate, something like the prohibited sign on here printed off for free and laminated, so it's clear that they can't get in.

Stop feeling mean - you have a baby, wider issues and two horses and a host of hanger-ons which is more than enough to deal with. Keep this in mind. It'll be like a flake advert! You can waft in lavender, poppies, corn flowers, and all that horse shit will make them grow a treat.

CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 13:24

Boschy, so good to hear from someone who's been in the same position. Glad it went smoothly.

Lavender I will restrict my hand wringing to once a week :) promise.

Peterparker stackable goats are the future. I'll keep my eyes on the prize and hopefully it'll be as simple as boschy's case!

OP posts:
steppemum · 16/01/2014 14:11

We're going to try to go down the, "you didn't make this situation, we didn't make this situation, the previous owners did and sadly now we all have to sort it out" route.

This ^ is brilliant, really inspired. It takes the personal agro out of it. They are actually in a very difficult situation (which they could have seen coming a mile off if they had any common sense) and their problem is not your problem. By using this approach it recognises that both sides have been lumbered with a problem situation and removes the blame game which will get you nowhere.

Good for you!

TypicaLibra · 16/01/2014 14:11

I've read through this thread OP, and YANBU!

An extra comment .... is the land registered with the RPA - i.e. can you get the Single Farm Payment on it? You could also look at various environmental schemes for your field which pay (well!) per acre/ hectare. This could necessitate doing work like maintaining hedgerows or stone walls etc, so you could tell these people that you need the land clear to do this work.

I know you've put the wheels in motion to get rid of them, but it's just an added point to make to them should you need or want to.

Good look with your email - watching with interest to see how it's received.

CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 14:20

Thanks steppe, luckily the angle is also true! Yes, the previous owners weren't able to make responsible decisions, but that still means we're sorting the consequences.

Libra, there are a couple of schemes I've got my eye on Wink and someone has just offered me some dormouse boxes so we can find out if we do have them or not :)

OP posts:
RestingActress · 16/01/2014 16:46

OP you sound lovely and I hope that there is a quick resolution to this difficult situation and you can enjoy your garden very soon

tripper20 · 16/01/2014 17:23

Dormice - reminds me - what about the cat you "inherited" ?

bubblebabeuk · 16/01/2014 18:06

Mark

lessemin · 16/01/2014 18:33

The cat is called Mark?

CompletePushover · 16/01/2014 18:48

The cat we are feeding, she's no trouble really. She's an outside cat so we've made her a warm space in the shed.

No reply so far to the email, but she may not have had it yet. I do have a bit of an update, the person I spoke to before about it all has been doing a bit of digging, it turns out understanding lady has been saying that we are being incredibly generous and reasonable about it all, and that the horse's owners have a reputation for being "difficult".

So on the not-being-ostracised-by-the-local-community front all is looking good :)

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 16/01/2014 18:54

Good news on that! Still think a 'welcome to our new meadow' BBQ is a nice idea - but might be rather £££ unless you can get everyone to bring things and provide the grill(s) and the venue.

birdybear · 16/01/2014 19:06

Arent you going to tell us what the email said!?

mistlethrush · 16/01/2014 19:10

Birdy, I think that she's given us a good enough idea what the email said without typing it all out word for word!

I hope that you're feeding the cat well and she doesn't eat doormice.

I wonder what sort of meadow is best for doormice... and do you need hedgerows too?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 16/01/2014 19:15

Thats lovely. The thing to remember is that you haven't been ungenerous or unreasonable. There's no reason for the locals to ostracise you. As a horsey person, I'd say yes, horse owners can be very passionate about their animals, but 'rescuers' are even worse. I've been involved in more than one paddock, abandonment, overcrowding issue, and they were all 'rescued' animals. There appears to be a fine line between horse 'rescuers' and 'completely bonkers animal collectors!' Confused
In answer to what someone said up thread, as a stallion of a specific breed, used as a stud, there is a very good chance he has a passport. breed societies have been issuing them for years. Not really relevant I know, I just wanted to interject. Smile

CarriesPawnShop · 16/01/2014 19:47

Shergar wouldn't have a passport Grin At least not a valid one.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 16/01/2014 19:57

Grin Hmm Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread