Awkward (and other) questions about MNers jobs-following on from *Pinocchio's 1st thread.

[mignonette]

Following on from this thread by Pinocchio -

"I thought this would be a good way for us to get answers to those awkward questions we would never dream of asking someone to their face in their place of work.

These are questions relating to my life that i would love honest answers to.

Hairdressers - When someone with bad dandruff/psoriasis sits on your chair, do you shrug it off, or do you quickly have a look to make sure it's not lice? Are you able to tell the difference right away or does it need investigating? And do you really want to know what my plans are for the day, or would you rather work in silence?

Teachers - do you get annoyed when parents write in homework diaries that a specific piece of homework was too tricky for their child? Do you take it as an insult to your teaching skills?

Waiter/waitresses - do you expect people to offer to clean up their children's mess before they leave, or do you just shrug it off as part of the job? If you're busy and haven't had chance to clean a table yet, and a new customer came up and asked for a cloth to clean it, would you be offended?

I'm a trainee SLT so not quite sure if I'm qualified to answer any questions regarding that line of work yet.

But i have experience working in a Subway sandwich store, a library, a gym and as a cleaner. So i can answer any cleaning, book or sandwich questions that are burning away inside you all"

Pinocchio I hope you don't mind me C+Ping your original post but wanted you to have the credit for this follow on as is such a great thread!

Boffin, I don't have to speak to parents that often but I have to say the vast majority of them terribly nice and very grateful to have a response to their query or problem. As for those asking for financial help, well, I think as a school we are up on those children who fit into an 'official category' and who might reasonably be expected to seek help. But everyone else; well, we have good pastoral systems and good home school comms so you would hope we stand a reasonable chance, but it would be silly to think that there aren't people sitting at home who don't want to/don't feel able to/feel it is wrong to ask for help.

Dallas, I am aware I'm really lucky! I had previously worked in University admin so that was obviously a big help. There is a certain amount of routine stuff; processing detentions, ordering stationery, supplying forgotten pens and paper to pupils.... And then a lot of trip admin; from booking places, working out all costs, crowbarring info out of parents, obtaining collective passports etc.

Thanks mignonette I guess because I'm used to being not in the system and refer to psychosis as 'that day I went mental' then laugh it off, it all seems quite excessive at times. Can't be having episodes with a baby tho

midwives do you often proceed with a situation you know not to be working as funding/lack of staff/equipment mean you can't do what's best?

Of course you want to avoid being reminded of it Szeli. It must have been very traumatic for you. Think of it as assisting you with maintaining your health rather than being 'kept an eye on'. And try to discuss these feelings with your CPN. That is what they are there for. .

Thankfully mignonette that Doc didn't deploy with us. I have a feeling he would have just taken a shed load of Brufen and fucked everyone else off. In fact he was the doc that refused to prescribe anything other than the Mirena coil to the female soldiers - no Pill, no Implant, no injections etc with no recourse, we all ended up signing up with the local Family Planning clinic. I understand that he won an award for saving money - but was quickly sacked by the CO.

The most amazing medical team I have ever been around was in Bosnia. They broke the rules big time to help someone, without a thought about themselves. I have so much respect for them - they were like 'House' without the bad hygiene and drug problems!

LtEve-
Not money saving when somebody reacts to medication that is not the best choice or needs something more. Saving ££ was by luck not judgement I guess. I do wonder how Female soldiers cope with menstruation whilst on deployment. Do many use medication to stop them? I would. If they have periods do you mind me asking what they do to take care of themselves?

at the House comparison.

Mignonette, I hated being on when I was on exercise or deployed out in the middle of nowhere, because generally it was a 'dig a hole' job and washing facilities were few and far between. I used to take my pill without a break, then later got an implant which stopped my periods completely. Most of my female friends did the same. There was an unwritten rule about females being able to go back to camp once every 3 days for showers - but most of us didn't want to do that. It set us further apart from the guys, when we wanted to be treated the same.

It's different on major deployments, like Afghan for eg, because there are proper washing and toiletting facilities, so no need to do anything diffferent than at home. I still chose to use the Implant at those time though - simply because I found it easier (and less 'stuff' needed to pack!). I used to get it removed as soon as I came home though as it did weird things to me. A few girls actually use a 6 month deployment as a time to come off all contraception, because they don't intend to be shagging so give theior bodies a break. Saying that though I know at least 2 children who were conceived when their parents were deployed (one in Iraq, one in Afghanistan) and have my suspicions about a couple of others!

boffinmum was that a teacher question?

As for which type of parent I like best, I would say those who show they care but are laid back. I know I'm not going to please everyone all the time- especially wrt things like homework. I try not to nag when it isn't done (it's the govt that says I have to set it, I don't set it because I think it has any educational impact) and I'd appreciate the same if I forget to set it one week.

As for the trip paying thing, that's something I never really get to find out about as that would go straight through the office and never get as far as me.

LtEve Thank for answering. I have always been curious. yes, going back to shower every three days as a special case means you might as well hang a sign around your neck with your menstrual status on it.

at the deployment babies.

This is a really interesting thread. I'm a private tutor if anyone wants to ask anything!

Wando I used to work in a bookshop so can't answer the bit of your question about jumpers, but it definitely used to annoy me when people would look at a book then put it back horizontally on the shelf (unless the shelf was really full and putting it back properly would be a pain). I would also be annoyed when people would look at a book on the special offer tables but put it back on the wrong pile of books, particularly if the correct pile was next to it!!

Actually I used to get annoyed about pretty much everything in the shop, hence why I no longer work there

Thanks for starting another thread. The last was fascinating.

I have experiences working for a few local authorities in adult social care, in mental health service management (social care), addiction counselling and in a number of large high profile prisons including Category A. Happy to answer any specifics. (Outs self with that combination!)

My take on a few questions asked so far....

Prisons-
is the food completely terrible?
Some days yes, some no. Prisoners have perhaps 3 choices of menu. Some things smelled terrible and judgement was always poor on fish. Food it transported in hot trolleys so pie or anything that coped well with that would be ok. The thing that to me made them awful was that prisoners would pile dinners high with carbs. Say 10 potatoes or a huge pile of white bread. That made the meal not so nutritional but filled them up. Especially if they didn't like the food on offer.

do people constantly abuse each other or does it settle down and can it be an ok, friendly place to be?
Abuse is not constant, prisons have brilliant security procedures in place with risk management to find if anise is going on and relocate people so they stay safe. Of course this is never fail safe but it should not be happening for long. Unfortunately there are always the bully's and victims but awareness and action is in place. Prisons can be friendly. As a staff member working directly with prisoners I see it as it's own community with community rules and norms.

do people talk about their crime a lot, or just general day to day stuff?
Not much talk of crime in communal areas but it is a big thing in groups.

is everyone utterly miserable all the time and dying to get out, or can they just sort of settle down and get used to it?
Bit of both really. Some people really struggle. First time sentences are often very miserable and short sentences where prisoners know they will be out soon so don't engage in anything offered to be productive. Most I'd say though do get on and find a way of coping.

do people do a lot of useful stuff with their time? Do you find that nearly everyone has a thing, like, they are gym bunnies or learning a language or something?
Most people have a thing but that isn't always useful. Lots of purposeful activity is offered and encourage and jobs are very much encouraged but some prisoners thing is to watch tv in their cell.

Are things very different in men's and women's prisons?
Yes. As was said before by another poster the issues are very different. The women's prison I gave experience in is more like a hospital feel and emotion is on the surface. Men put their heads down more and get on. Women have far greater pain on show.

do you constantly watch your back?
Yes. Absolutely. It is basic training and if you didn't you would be vulnerable to not only potential attacks but conditioning and manipulation.

do you get attached to some prisoners?
In my opinion yes. Like you do in any job or situation you get on better with some people more than others and in prison the stories can pull at you. It is vital however to remember the situation you are in at all times and not let that attachment sway you from your role or environment.

Gosh, that is a long post.

Ginplease, sometimes I work with information security people and it's very interesting to hear about crime techniques as I don't naturally think like that. Do you get to hear any interesting crime stories in prison, or are the ones who end up there the ones who are not very good at it, or criminally creative?

BoffinMum I guess depends on your classification of interesting. I have heard many crime stories that stand out for me as interesting but not so much in a clever, ingenious way. Though there are some. Without saying too much some ways of trying to avoid being found for murder is very interesting. Also some that stand out for me are the things that led a person to commit the crime. Sorry to be vague.

BoffinMum I find people's crimes interesting but can't say I have been told many interesting techniques. I have heard many crime stories that stand out for me as interesting but not so much in a clever, ingenious way. Though there are some. Without saying too much some ways of trying to avoid being found for murder is very interesting. Also some that stand out for me are the things that led a person to commit the crime.

Ignore the first post above. I clicked before proof reading.

I used to work for a company that made magnets, if anyone's curious.

I have a questiong for vets: How important are annual boosters for cats and dogs, really? Are they really essential, or are they just money spinners? Or does it depend on other factors, such as the area you live, eg city / country?

I'd also like to know the answer to a pp's question about gum disease: If you brush, floss, and use Corsodyl and your gums STILL bleed, what can you do about it? Is it irreversable gum disease? Will all my teeth drop out? I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

Loving these threads. Not sure if I want to own up to this given MN's collective interest in the area but in a previous life (c. 12 years ago) I was a bra fitter at M&S. Nowadays I'm a Student Welfare Counsellor at a University - I deal with all issues but specialise in academic affairs - what to do if failing coursework, unable to progress etc and the effects of these on students' physical and mental health. I also attend the exam board sub-committees where extenuating circumstances are heard so that I can ensure correct policies (e.g. data protection) are followed and decisions are fair. In between times, I've done a fair bit of waitressing, general retail, secretarial/reception and call centre work.

Now my mind has gone blank of all the questions I really wanted to ask...

Thanks Ginplease for answering all those questions.

Summerremembered, is your job as a full time paid member of university staff?
has it always existed?
how long have you been doing it, and have you noticed any changes in trends for student problems over that time?

Summer, do you ever look at scruffy students and mentally put them in the correct size of bra, etc.

Youretoast - no it has definitely not always existed. There has always (or at least for a long time) been a Student Counselling Service with trained counsellors and psychologists available but they expanded the provision of student welfare around 6 years ago to put in lay-people to provide a sort of triage service as the demand was really too high and they noticed the counsellors often needed background knowledge of the university procedures. I was hired at this point as I already had a background in university admin but was (and still am) also studying Counselling part-time with a view to going down this career route in the future. The job has really grown in 6 years and often I, or one of my colleagues, are the first point of contact for students with a variety of problems; on any given week, I have students come to me because they are failing courses, have money worries, problems with their families, problems with accommodation and/or flatmates, are having trouble coping with managing their workload and more serious things such as eating disorders, mental health issues, physical illnesses and suicidal thoughts. The more serious issues are fast-tracked to those who have the training and qualifications but in many cases our students are just happy to talk to anyone who is willing to listen and help them work through their problems. I also run courses on study skills and how not to get overwhelmed and seminars for academic staff on recognising problems and pointing the student in the correct direction. Other colleagues do similar things with regards financial issues.

Over the 6 years I have been employed here, there has been a dramatic upturn in students claiming special circumstances at exam time with just under a third of students making a case last year. We are still trying to find the magic solution to ensuring that only very serious and deserving cases go forward for consideration without hiding the procedures to the extent that someone may suffer in silence. We also need to bear in mind that just as with the midwife thread - if a student says they are affected by something, they are - even if we might view it as something trivial. Unfortunately, These committees are now costing the universities in time and money as they frequently have to be two or three-parters over several days, such is the volume and this has resulted in academic staff becoming suspicious and jaded - hence my involvement to ensure fair hearings.

Must admit I have name changed for this particular admission:

LAP DANCER / STRIPPER

Feel free to ask away....

awaits flaming...

BoffinMum - no... but I probably will now!

Ooh Womban I can see why you would NC

Do the customers mainly arrive in groups, or on their own?

Are they intimidating or just pathetic?

Does your dancing arouse you too or is it just athletic?

Is it possible for a stag do in a strip club to be innocent fun or will someone manage to negotiate extras?

Thanks, Summer, really interesting.
do you think that it is fair to be so inclusive ("if a student thinks it affects them, it does") about special circumstances? Because that puts the decision about where to draw the line into the hands of individual students who will of course apply it differently - you will get a struggling stiff upper lip type who might have had a week in hospital just before the exams asking for nothing, and someone else who is getting special treatment because their hamster died. Don't you have to be more objective than that to be fair - in other words tell the hamster-whiner to sling their hook?

Womban - how long did you do those jobs and why did you stop?

Womban... Do you ever bump into your clients in the street and if so, are they embarrassed to have recognised you or you them?

So so many questions in my mind for a lap dancer but that one is the most awkward I can think of!