Please could you state one thing that your mother did with you that you will do/already do with your DD?

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

I grew up without a mother so I feel like I have a giant gap where I haven't experienced a mother-daughter relationship.

As the mother of a daughter I now want to make sure I do all the things with DD that my mother might have done with me.

I would be grateful for suggestions based on your own positive experiences. What did your mother teach you about life, relationships, being a woman (and all the rest)?

Thank you

[figroll]

My dds are both at university at the moment and I am missing them terribly. However, the things that we do are stuff like sitting in bed together and watching trashy tv, going shopping and chatting all the time. The is why I am missing them both so badly as my dh is so quiet. I didn't realise how quiet he was until now! I sometimes wish I had had a boy, but my girls are fantastic company.

[Tabby1963]

My mum was always tolerant of my friends or boyfriends and welcoming to everyone. When I think back to some of the people I brought back to the house, and now thoughtless I was at times, I cringe lol. She never said a word against anyone (even though she must have wanted to on occasion). I have been the same about the friends my two have brought home (only then realising how hard it must have been for my mum), and I have never regretted it. Thanks mum!

[DoudousDoor]

Oh and going against a lot of what I've seen on MN, my mum almost never made us do chores.

She taught us to cook, use a washing machine, iron, manage money etc. But we never had weekly chores (or pocket money really). We were just children.

Now I'm an adult, I soooo appreciate her doing this as I work my butt off, then have housework/bill paying etc. so I appreciate even more my "carefree" childhood.

oh and both me and Dbro managed perfectly well when we left home at 18 so it didn't matter that we hadn't been washing up daily since we were 10.

It did help that my mum only worked part time though - doubt she'd have been the same if working full time!

[BeCool]

She taught me to see

[BeCool]

Aarrrrgh!! SEW! Not see

[Editededition]

I agree with this - though I know its not a popular view.

I took the attitude that mine would be doing chored for the rest of their lives once they left home, so they might as well enjoy childhood as the one time they didn't really need to worry about them.
However I did have an absolute rule that if I did ask for help, I got it! without fuss query or dissent.

All of mine have ended up as adults with a great work ethic, and clean tidy houses - so it worked for us.

[Seoulsister]

My mother died when I was eleven, but having a daughter has helped me realise and remember what I had whilst she was around, (years after were misery memoir grim) and now she's older we seem to mother whichever of us needs mothering. We're a similar size, so pass on some clothes (depending on style) and just talk in a way I don't with my sons, older or younger.

When she was six, she asked me, "Did your mother knit clothes for your teddies?" out of the blue, and of course she did-ski jumpers, trousers and hats.

[ZingWantsCake]

she taught me loads, but I have to think carefully about all the positive things because we have very clashing personalities and don't actually get on well.

It's unfair on her, but I'm blinded by the negative to see to positive

I have a daughter too and I hope our relationship will be better than what my mother and I have.

therefore I'm here to learn

[KatieScarlett2833]

My mother taught me how to be a strong independent woman with zero tolerance for manfucknuggetry.
Thank you mum, I love you xxx

[Bullincathkidston]

I always knew growing up, that no matter what I What mistakes I made she loved me. I hope my dd knows the same.
Mummy cuddles defiantly, my mums Passed away miss those dreadfully.
Cooking and baking.
She treasured all the tat my sisters made at school, looking in her box of Christmas decorations when she passed away she'd kept all the calendars, egg box Christmas bells and all the stuff we'd ever made.

She engaged my curiosity, shockingly the only example I can think of is her burning a hole, through a page of her woman's weekly with her cigarette!

[VisualCharades]

such a lovely thread

[MsFanackerPants]

Expecting first baby and don't know if girl or boy but things I would like to do for any child I have that my mum did for me.
-baking
-making cards and decorations for birthdays/Christmas/Easter
-baking birthday cakes
-bathtimes together when little
-making up stories
-reading together
-a get well box, special things to be played with when poorly. (think this came from a book called 'My Naughty Little Sister'

I used to love my mum brushing my hair when I was little and giving me a head massage, if I have a girl (or boy!) who has long hair I will do this beyond what is needed to get out tangles/make neat. It's very relaxing and I still love it now.

[tumbletumble]

Just chatting together really. I find my mum easy to talk to and I hope one day my DD may say the same about me.

[Thurlow]

Excellent. So apparently what mums should do with their daughters is talk about eco-friendly carpet cleaning

[mamalovebird]

My mother was 95% of the time an abusive alcoholic but I always remember her having perfect nails. She still does. She taught me once how to paint them. Never go all the way to the sides or the bottom to make them look longer. I still do it 25 years later!

I hate her for so many things but I'll never forget when she sat and did that with me.

[MyNameIsAnAnagram]

So that's what I missed out on by not having a mum. Shame I've got wood floors.

[QueenofLouisiana]

I take DS around National Trust and English Heritage properties. I loved history and so does he. My mum loves finding the photos from when she took me and sharing them with DS after we've been to the same place.

[Thurlow]

Maybe that's why you have wood floors?

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

Just to let you know, we've moved this to Classics now; thanks for the nominations.

[MyNameIsAnAnagram]

Thurlow you may be right.

[barbarianoftheuniverse]

Talked to me about when she was little.

Taught me the names of wild flowers.

Shared her books with me (and one Christmas asked me for a booklist of all the books I'd like to read and bought me every single one).

My mum could paint pictures, skip 'bumps', embroider flowers so that the petals looked like satin and whistle through her fingers louder than any one else I have ever heard.

[MrsOgg]

My mom did trillions of things with me, but the things that stand out are:

• on the rare occasions that she helped me with my homework, it was hilarious. She explained algebra to me so that I understood it for the first time by flinging laundry around, helped me write a song about recycling carrier bags, and a poem about fairies which had me lying on the floor laughing. We still sing the carrier bag song.

- when I was very little made me see the 'everyday magic' in little things - left me sweets from the fairies, took me out searching for elves in the garden, took us on 'adventures' like going for a walk and we got to choose which direction to go in, down roads we'd NEVER BEEN DOWN BEFORE (seemed thrilling at the time).

• showed me how to really enjoy celebrations. Me and my sister had magical Christmases and birthdays not because we got lots of stuff, but because she knew how to make things seem special - usually the secret was candles, fairylights, a tape player - but mostly attitude!

-encouraged us to try new things and push ourselves
-we had a really good laugh. No matter what happened, we could always talk to mom, and she would usually end up making us laugh.

Ahh, writing this out has made me all teary, I want to call my mom now!

[Dancergirl]

I LOVE mrsogg's mum!