I see it as my duty to pass forward my mum's love. She is such a patient, kind, calm person, with real time for small children. She always listened very carefully to us, never, ever told us what to do, and supported us to find our own way. I felt so cared for, so loved as a child, i'm trying hard to create that security for my own dcs.
Dm was brilliant when we were poorly, sitting with us for hours, snuggling us up, making tempting morsels, stroking my face to soothe me to sleep. I now relish my dcs when ill, hoping I'm soothing them too.
We were always read to, until quite old and dm enjoyed reading to us, with is, alongside us. We visited the library weekly and chose books together. She told us brilliant stories, and wrote little poems about us. She encouraged our imaginations, played endless games and allowed things like extra seats/plates for our dolls.
Dm genuinely enjoyed our company, I never felt tolerated, I felt treasured. She loved walking and took us to lovely places. She swam in the sea with us, revelling in it. I have already started this with dcs at 1 &3.
She was determined that ours would be a welcoming home, so we always had friends over. She was never fissy about the house, allowing us to paint, bake, glue etc, but somehow managed to keep the house running smoothly. One of my memories is coming home after school to my bed all made and clean washing laid on it for me to put away. It all felt so sorted, and safe.
Dm was open about everything, talked honestly about the big issues. She had no body issues, and helped us to feel grateful for what our bodies can do. She insured I had no fear of labour and birth, talking of her experiences in a positive way. She was a true feminist, believing women had the right to be and whatever tgey wanted to.
Dm gave me so, so much. It's a hard act to follow. I will do everything to give my dcs the sense of consistency, safety, security, love & fun - it's the greatest gift I have been given.