Please could you state one thing that your mother did with you that you will do/already do with your DD?

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

I grew up without a mother so I feel like I have a giant gap where I haven't experienced a mother-daughter relationship.

As the mother of a daughter I now want to make sure I do all the things with DD that my mother might have done with me.

I would be grateful for suggestions based on your own positive experiences. What did your mother teach you about life, relationships, being a woman (and all the rest)?

Thank you

[neversleepagain]

There are 4 girls in my family and we are all very close with our mother. She is very open and I always felt I could talk to her about anything. My favourite time with her was chatting to her while she was having bath. I would sit on the bathroom floor and we chatted away.

She taught us to cook, helped us with homework everyday. All 4 of us would sit around the dining table and she would be there while we did our homework. She would take us food shopping with her and often we would stop and have a coffee and chat, I remember this fondly.

I could go on for a while but I guess what I am trying to get at is that she more like our friend, which we all loved. I ring her everyday.

I have twin daughters and I hope we have the same close relationship.

[sandiy]

My mum was and still is wonderful most of the time.With my children I do crazy stuff for no apparent reason.Nail polish,hair curling, I've taught my girls to sew knitting nancy, a bit of crochet,cooking ordinary and fancy.We do body boarding in the summer,sledging in the winter,BBQ tea after school if I sneak out of work early sometimes.We are getting a bit big now but sometimes they hop in the bath with me.A biggie is I've taught them to love books which mum did for me.Finally and most importantly I hope I've taught them they can do anything no boy/girl jobs in this house they've seen me chop down trees change light fittings,as well as mummy stuff such as costumes for school plays.I do think if a child/children know that they are loved and important what you do don t do is less important.

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

These continue to be fabulous, thank you :)

The sex/periods thing scares the bejeesus out of me but I've found some good stuff online. Nothing like getting ahead of yourself!

I've unwittingly started an annual birthday retreat. I took her away for her birthday in April and she loved it so much she keeps talking about it and has asked to go again for her next birthday. I like the idea of a couple of nights away together to celebrate her birthday each year.

[BigPigLittlePig]

My mum has a bath every evening at 10. Always has, probably always will. I always used to go in the bathroom to have a wee and do my teeth before bed, once I was old enough to stay up late! I am now 27, and have my own dd, and when we go back to my parents, I still stroll in, do my teeth on the toilet and have a lovely chat about the day and life in general

[BigPigLittlePig]

Ha! Never clearly has the same bathtime feelings!

[stayathomegardener]

My Mum ....
Taught me all the wild flower and native tree names.
Took me conkering.
Taught me to count with jam tarts and Swallows on the wires.
Baked with me.
Sorted out my knitting tangles.
Always cleaned out my rabbits so I just had the nice job of playing with them.
Made wonderful thoughtful Christmas stockings.
Lit the wood burners so home was lovely and welcoming.
Cooked amazing food.
Sang to me.

She has Alzheimers now and I guess in the not too distant future I shall do some of those things with her

[stayathomegardener]

Hi Mumsnet,

Could I nominate this for classics please. Just seen it is in chat and it would be a shame for it to disappear.

Such lovely memories,remembered and created.
Thank you Leo.

[stayathomegardener]

Aw thank you Que,It did the same to me too.
In a sort of uplifting way though iykwim.

[Pixielady83]

Such lovely memories here (and some reminders of why I should cherish my mum and not take her for granted so much..)

My favourite thing my mum did for us, as well as baking, teaching us things (piano, reading, maths, geography, French - she could have home schooled really as she did a lot with us), reading with us and always listening, was to dance with us. My mum is not a terribly outgoing person but on a Saturday afternoon or evening she used to put records on, put my little sister on her hip and dance around the lounge with us singing to the songs of Abba and the like. I do the same with my DD now and she loves it :)

[Dancergirl]

I have 3 dds and I get into each of their beds for cuddles and 1 to 1 time with me. They love it when the phone rings as I ignore it during this time!

[MissMarplesBloomers]

With my 2 DD's......Waking up & having cuddles on a weekend morning. After a while we would get breakfast & bring it back to bed with us & stay in PJ's reading stories or playing silly games.

When I was a child:
Getting an old blanket & the clothes horse & making a "den" usually behind the sofa. Mum passing plates of food in to eat for lunch.

[OneStepCloser]

My mum died when I was a teenager, but she taught me to cook, she listened to me, chatted and chewed the cud over everything, all things I now do with the dcs. She gave us all our own time each day to mull over our days, something again I do with mine, it made each of us feel special.

[ivykaty44]

go for coffee and chats out of the house/home just the two of us

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

I'm so sorry to everyone else who has lost their mum, including those who have 'lost' them to dementia. It runs in our family and is just too cruel

[ziptoes]

My mum used to change the gender of characters in kids books because there were so few female characters.

40 years later and I now have to do the same thing for DS and DD.

[rowrowrowtheboat]

One of my favourite memories is baking every Sunday morning. It was so regular, the memories of all of them have blurred into a lovely cosy time.

One thing I am doing is writing a letter to my daughters on their birthday, and on special days (1st day of school etc). I've got pretty journals the letters go in, and I will give them to them when they are much older.

Also, my favourite memory of dad is the Sunday afternoon walk to the Park or countryside. He gave me the absolute love for the great outdoors.

[Xollob]

Cooking cakes, definitely.

[iloveitalia]

Ah Leo, I'm sorry you didn't have a mum when you were growing up, and also that you don't have one now that you're a mother yourself. That must have been hard, and I'm sure it still is at times.
I was a real worrier when I was younger and always got very wound up at exam time. My mother always made me stop revising and go for a walk with her. This happened many, many, many times. She was never too busy to take the time to listen to my worries and walk miles ( literally) with me until I calmed down.
She has Alzheimer's now and can't move or speak. Wish she could communicate so I could thank her properly.
The best thing she did for me though, was actually something that she DIDN'T do- She never ever talked about people behind their backs. I literally never heard a bitchy comment come out of her mouth. What a good example to set one's daughter!! I really hope that I can do the same for my wee 13 month old daughter.
Good luck with bringing up your little girl. It's a lovely idea to ask other mums for nice ideas about raising daughters.

[HSMMaCM]

My mother always made my friends feel welcome, even giving up her own food if I hadn't warned her they were staying for tea. I try to do this with my teenage DD.

[IamSlave]

Showed me how to appreciate beauty, and above all else have a sense of humour, she had a hard life and many ups and downs but never took herself too seriously or felt sorry for herself.

[caramelwaffle]

I also think this should go in MN Classics

[curlew]

At my mother's funeral, I said that she approached the world with wonder and delight, and that is what I want to pass on to my children from her. Wonder and delight.

[IamSlave]

HSMMaCM

Bless, mine was the same she loved people round her, she came from a large family with lots of siblings coming and going, so she loved people and made absolutely everyone welcome to our home.

she was the opposite of everything my MIL is

[TyrannosaurusBex]

Thank you for this sweet thread, OP. I had an alcoholic mother who never liked me or enjoyed my company and I worried too about not knowing how to be a good mum. You sound lovely.

I get up early and take my three DDs out (individually) swimming at the beach or bike riding in the summer. In the winter I take them out for breakfast. We make a big deal of Christmas preparations, lots of dancing in the kitchen to cheesy Christmas songs whilst baking for parties, collecting pine cones and making tree biscuits, cards, gift tags etc. We all exercise together - to be strong and healthy, NOT to be thin. And if ever they get cold and wet, I make a fuss of them with hot baths, warm pyjamas and hot chocolate.

And reading. Loads of reading. Them to me and me to them.