Memorable poos in inappropriate places..

[TinyGang]

Children have no decorum have they?

Poet John Betjeman is a great favourite of mine and I once had the opportunity to visit his house on holiday once. Dd was very young and christened the whole visit - or perhaps expressed her opinion of it - by doing an almighty great pooey nappy and we had to leave smartish as other visitors were surreptitiously sniffing and looking sideways at each other.

I never thought I'd be mentioning the great JB in the same breath as this

We also had a rather unfortunate episode in Osborne House under the austere gaze of Queen Victoria's portrait

You and your kids? Where have they brought you down to earth with a bump in their time honoured way?

[chubbleigh]

... in a rather elegant vase on mothers window sill, on top of the potpourri like it was meant to be there, if it hadn't stunk we would never have found it.

also have actual video footage of ds pissing into a fan whilst lying on the changing table ...

[JJMumsnet]

Bump for admin purposes and general merriment.

[Mercy]

This has to be the cube of poo one doesn't it? I do hope so

Am off to read it now.

[Mercy]

And I couldn't post without previewing first. Weird.

[CountessDracula]

ooh how weird

Why has this appeared?

[FuriousGeorge]

Hurrah for the cube of poo story-one of my all time favourites.

Can someone clever get this thread onto MAumsnet Classics?

[colditz]

In my son's waste paper bin. Obviously it looked like a potty in the night!

And most memorable of all, in Specsavers.

I noticed something on the floor, and called to ds1 (trying to Encourage His Speech) "Hey look! What's that on the floor? Is it a leaf, or is it a toy?"

As I got closer I realised it was a turd of loglike proportions. Ds1 sheepishly refused to acknowledge it's presence, so I figured it must have plopped out of his shorts - there was none on him. When pushed, he admitted that it "Fell out my pants"

By the time I had finished flurrying around trying to clear it up, all the shop staff had noticed the defilement of their virgin dove grey carpet.



I haven't been in there with him since.

He's due an eye test soon.

[katybump]

pmsl

[susiecutiemincepies]

Well, only just THIS MORNING, i was making the breakfast. my DD was in the living room playing her latest game of throwing things and crawling to fetch them, then chucking them in the air and fetching them... happily.

I went in and sat down for a bit, thought i could smell something... realised Isobel was throwing a huge poo ( hers ) around the front room. My darling little pretty girl, playing with a large log. Am shocked. see?

[Magdelanian]

Its a while ago but I remember inviting my new boyfriend round to meet my 2 year old DD. I went upstairs to the loo and at the same time DD went to the loo behind the curtains. He pointed it out on my return . Good job (excuse the pun) he was also a daddy.

[lucy5]

Not poo but pee, my nephew peed on one of those really comfy beds [tempur, can't remember the name] which are really expensive. Needless to say we scarpered out of the shop pretty sharpish.

[susiecutiemincepies]

gosh, i didnt realise this was an old thread!

note to self: must check the dates on the thread first

but while i'm here...lol

I also remember when my nephew , then 2 years old, joined us for a sunday buffet lunch at the Indian rezza. He disappeared under a table making extremely loud huffing and puffing pushing noises...

[FuriousGeorge]

Oh Colditz-I'll not be able to walk past Secsavers now without sniggering.

DD2 did a stinker whilst we were admiring the Roman ampitheatre in Tarragona,Spain,DH took a lovely photo of me changing her where ancient Romans had once sat watching the gladiators.She also did a pushchair covering poo in a restaurant on the same holiday.It was so bad we had to go & buy her new clothes & the pushchair has never really recovered.

This year she stood up next to me in a restaurant on holiday & I noticed some thing brown & small on the floor.I thought it was a pebble until I looked closer.As I realised what it was,DD2 started to run away,leaving a trail of 'droppings' around the table.I surrepticiously tried to collect them all up in a babywipe & put them in the nearest bin,whilst whispering to DH 'For Gods sake,pay the bill quick & lets go!'.

There seems to be a holiday theme appearing here.

[SpookyMadMummy]

At my Dd2's 3rd birthday party another child had a poo accident which went from top to bottom of the slide in the soft play we hired! Luckily its the kind of place where if you book a party you get exclusive play so no strangers!!
Am still rofl at cubes of poo, I remember when this thread was originally in active convos... I think its the thread which made my decision to join Mumsnet!

[min912]

On the one hand, I am finding all these stories hilarious, on the other, as DS is just over a year old I am mentally quaking at the thought of what is to come... I think I had always thought that once children were potty trained, that was it done.

However, I think what I have learned from these stories is to always, always carry wipes. And a plastic bag.

[whomovedmychocolate]

A few month ago when DD was about nine months old I left
her playing with DH on the floor while I cleaned the downstairs bathroom. He put her in one of those door bouncers but because we have a beamed ceiling, it attaches to a beam rather than a door, so she used to jump up and down in the middle of the living room.

Anyway, I'm just finishing up and I look round the door and I can DD is jumping up and down in what I think is chocolate and start berating DH (a) for feeding her chocolate and (b) for doing so in the jumper.

He denies feeding her chocolate and at this moment we both realise she is riverdancing in shit valley

The worst bit was that trying to get her out of the jumper, we both got covered in it, as did one of the cats and let's just say we had to buy a rug for that bit of the carpet

[nowwearefour]

I was taking DD1 for her 6 month picture at a professional photographers (costing only £10- bargain!) and the lady said 'i think your daughter has done a poo!' i had to pick it up in a tissue and put it in my pocket as she did not have a public toilet available for me to put it into! Thank goodness she had started on solids!

[derah]

OK, I have two.

First was when DD was only about 8 weeks old, and we were on the way to SIL's wedding. We were very late cos we were getting a lift with DH's aunt, uncle and granny, and for some bizarre reason they'd taken a huge detour to pick up some pickled fish . So we weren't in the best of moods as it was, and the wedding was being held up for us. We arrive, start to take DD out of the car seat and realise that she's done the hugest yellow squishy poo, which has gone all up the back of her pretty specially-for-the-wedding dress and everywhere else. Normally we had her in cloth nappies (which don't often have the squirt-up-the-back problem) but had her in dispos for this occasion. So it was a first for us! So already late and stressed out, we had to deal with ooky poopy baby.

That doesn't sound quite so funny now I've typed it.

Second one was recently... DD (2) is potty trained but when we're out walking the dogs, does 'bush wees' along the way if necessary. On this occation though, we were walking through the posh part of our development rather than the woods when we announced that she needed a wee. We were right under a street light, walking past a lovely house with a perfectly manicured front lawn, so I asked her to wait a bit and dragged her further up the road, while squealing "wee wee!" at the top of her voice. I got her to a less posh bit of garden, out of direct street light, pulled down her pants and she squatted to do her wee. Except that it wasn't a wee, it was the biggest pile of poo you ever saw. On someone's front lawn. And I was out of poo bags (the dogs had already finished their business). Luckily I had a tissue in my pocket and managed to gather it up!

[LornaL]

One hour into a 10 hour flight back from Kuala Lumpur to London. Our then 11 month old DD sittting happily in seat next to me on plane whilst DH is away at the toilet. I am passing the time playing on the games console. I get a whiff of poo and turn to see DD literally covered in poo and so is the entire airline seat. Cue poor neighbour being sent to try to track down DH in the loos (he failed). When DH eventually turned up he was handed DD to deal with and I, with the help of the disposable gloves given to me by the Flight Crew Manager (never been so glad to be offered a pair of gloves in my life) proceed to try to clean up the mess. I now know exactly how an airline seat comes apart (seat just velcros off) and the seat belts unclip (obviously after I have run them between my fingers to get the poo off . . .).

In the meantime, DH has been sent by the Flight Crew Manager to the door space in club class to clean up DD. He asks flight crew if they have a bin liner so he can put DD onto it rather than getting the floor covered with poo - they get slightly confused and try to ease binliner over DD . . .!

Haven't been on a long haul flight since!

[jorange5]

Why would any sensible mother not put a change of clothes for her DD in her hand luggage when flying abroad? Really, I was just be asking for DD to do a monstrous orange runny poo while queuing through security wasn't I? All clothes wrecked and only one shop in the airport that sells baby clothing - Harrods. Great.

She did the same trick again (why do I not learn) in the supermarket carpark so was pushed round M&S food hall in just a nappy and wrapped in my fleece. Understandably there were lots of 'poor child' mutterings from old ladies

[Rhubarb]

In the library, that doesn't have a toilet. His pants were bulging, I was horrified. I whipped off his pants, his undies were unsaveable, put his pants back on and searched desperately for a bin. Fierce looking old lady was on the front desk, I didn't want to risk walking past holding soiled undies, I couldn't leave ds alone in library whilst I went outside to search for bin, we had a pile of books to check out too. So.......... I'm afraid I hid the pants.

[Pickie]

couple of weeks ago my DS said mamma, Jessie done poo in your bed (lately toilet talk has been popular in the Pickie household) so move my leg thinking nothing off it. And yes there was a huge turt in our bed. Both of us got up in record speed needless to sAY!

Also DS when he was about 17 months was watching bob the builder and in the meantime done one in his nappy. he decided to taste it. Luckily for me I saw this happen! He took a handfull observed it and took a bit then spat it out and covered the telly in poo screaming for help

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

Play centre avec ball pool. 7 year old SN child being looked after by best friends whilst DH and I were at Elbells 40th party.

Best friend's DH was "keeping a careful eye" from a short distance, was content that he was fine.. could see the top of his protective helmet through some bars.

Alarm bells should have been ringing loud and shrill!! DS does not "do" still until he is doing something bad.. in this case, removing jog bottoms and nappy and smearing poo all over hands, face, floor, steps and bars!

Cue children running in all direction screaming "that boy's eating poo!" (he was blush]) and BF's DH screaming "HELP!" to BF across crowded warehouse that had suddenly fallen silent!

DS loving all the attention and laughing head off!!

The staff were fab.. as were my DD and BFs' DD (7 and 8) who said to the crowd of kids (NOT being called away by their gawping parents! ) "What's the matter?! Have you never seen POO before??"

The parents glared at muttered and stropped as red faced friends carried pooey half naked DS through room to upstairs showers. Horrible parents! Obviously cannot envisage ever having a child with additional needs!

Friends have never been back there.. and it was 5 months ago!

[whomovedmychocolate]

I can't quite believe my cat is getting in on this but.....

Have a large swiss cheese plant. Can crapped in it. (It was raining and he didn't want to go out lazy sod). So put upturned forks round the rim.

Just gone downstairs and caught him, front paws on side of pot, back paws straddling tines pushing out the most enormous turd I have ever seen a cat make! And it's not sodding raining