Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

[TastesLikePanda]

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

[expatinscotland]

DH had a cheapskate mate who no longer comes round because he doesn't get to raid the fridge and take stuff home or use the laptop and WiFi.

He used to commit insurance fraud, too.

[silverten]

God some of these are just amazing.

The best I can manage is a cousin of DH's who we didn't invite to our wedding (because she is a manipulative witch who would have delighted in upsetting our guests).

When she saw her mums invitation she chucked a massive tearfest, which got back to DH's dad, who is a great peacemaker, so he then spent ages trying to persuade us to invite said drama queen.

Cheeky bitch knew exactly what would happen when she turned on the tears.

[SlatternismyMiddlename]

Cookie -you're right, it makes you think twice about ever helping again. You would think people wouldn't be so short sighted.

[EffieTheDuck]

Not really a friend but a woman who lived in the area told me that she could not find the key to my house in order to show her mother round! They had looked under the bin and everywhere so where did I keep my key! I had not long moved - they had peeped in the windows and said some rooms looked like a shithole.

[CookieLady]

Slattern the astonishing part was that she felt she was doing us a favour by borrowing it. When dh collected the expensive items they were absolutely filthy. What a lovely way to treat other people's property!

[putthecrispsDOWN]

Hilarious thread. Our neighbour (who we know to say hi/send Xmas cards to but not much more...i.e. we've never been in each others' houses) had my DHs phone number 'in case of emergency'. Make neighbour called DH at 3 o clock in the morning to ask DH to drive to the 24h supermarket and get cigarettes and beer for him as he had been drinking, had an argument with his wife and wanted to start smoking again. Lovely patient kind DH went round with some cigarettes we had from ages ago whe we smoked and sat listening to him moan about his wife for ages. He stayed lon enough to make sure he was 'ok' on his own and then scarpered back home!!

Also my friend had a birthday party for her DD at a play centre last month and a mum (just one of the general public who were also there) sent her children over to the buffet. When friend pointed out that it was a private party, cheeky mum just shrugged and said 'ah, they've started eating now, I'll let them finish then I don't need to give them any tea!!

I regularly give more than I get, and do ridiculous things for other people that cause me great inconvenience are never repaid. I think it's good to try to be nice even if it does mean getting mugged off once in a while and being full of rage

[putthecrispsDOWN]

*male neighbour, sorry.

[PastaBeeandCheese]

I've just remembered a funny one from when i was little. My lovely ex naval officer Grandad ran to the beach May to October with his towel and would swim in sea leaving the towel on the beach.

One day he emerged to find a woman drying her dog with the towel. Before he even said anything she scowled at him and said 'what, I'm just drying my dog and I won't be a minute'.

The memory of his face recounting the tale brings a smile to my face some 25 years later.

[PastaBeeandCheese]

*towel and clothes so there was no way she could have thought the towel had been left behind.

[LadyFlumpalot]

We have a yearly carnival that is a bit of a local event with the main parade at about 7pm. I used to live right on the carnival route. It's amazing how many "friends" suddenly remembered that I existed about a week before carnival. One lass would invite herself and her family to dinner before the ever and help herself to our drinks. She did it once.

One woman, whilst waiting for the parade to start, and despite me blatantly leaning against my front door, lifted her child over my garden fence and suggested that my flower beds might be a good place for him to have a wee!

I stopped them before he could and said to her "OI! If you'd asked, he could have used my loo. Now you can go use the public loos like everyone else." She just gave me a face and said "but he needs a wee and we'll lose our place!"

My MIL is a cheeky one, if we acquire anything she likes the look of she will sigh and pine over it in the hope we will offer it to her. When her car died we offered to help her find a new one. The list of specs she had to have in her next car was very limiting. In fact, it narrowed down her choices to one car. Ours. She didn't get it. Don't worry.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

My MIL tried to give me get rid of a load of crappy tools "I thought DH would like them" (Erm, no) and a very 1980s leather bomber jacket (violet leather).

I live an 8 hour drive away.
Why would it be easier for me to transport a load of junk (and cost petrol money on the excess weight) than for her to get BIL to dump them?

And she thought I was ungrateful

[Ezza1]

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace

12 years!!!!

[Ezza1]

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace

12 years!!!!

[Ezza1]

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace

12 years!!!!

[Ezza1]

A friend asked if she could store a few things in my garage as she was moving and these items were precious and she didn't want them lost/ damaged. Items included crockery, clothes and a table amongst others.

Every year I give the garage a good clear out. Every year for the last 12 years her possessions have been pushed to the back of the garage.

Yes. 12 FUCKING YEARS!!! (until January this year when I chucked the lot of mouldy old crap)

I have no idea what happened to friend. Tried emailing, texting, phoning but she has disappeared without a trace

12 years!!!!

[Ezza1]

OMFG - apologies for multiple post. Fuck knows what went wrong there!!

[expatinscotland]

Cheeky buggers only try it on because they think they can get away with it. Once they know they can't with you, they attempt to find another mug.

And the world is full of them, just look at all the threads on here - cheeky so-called mates, cheeky neighbours, cheeky family, cocklodgers living for free.

[picnicbasketcase]

Well, having read it four times, I'm convinced you should definitely bin the lot! What a bloody nerve. And if she does make a miraculous reappearance you can just laugh and tell her that you had reasonable assumed that if she hadn't needed any of it in twelve years, she no longer needed to encroach upon your space.

[InMySpareTime]

We visit the in-laws once a year. DH asked if there was anything he could help with while we were there. He should really have known better.
We arrived for our 5 day visit with DCs (9 and 11), to find MIL had written a 2-page close written list of jobs they "just don't have time for" what with both being retired and all ranging from washing out the (hundreds of) plant pots and hanging a towel holder on two existing screws, to stripping down and restoring a Victorian cloche with 16 slightly different panes of glass.
DH got to repair a security light (screw the bulb in) and mend the pond liner in sub-zero temperatures while DD got to sort through their Jiffy bags to decide which ones MIL wanted.
I got told to wash the pots again as I hadn't done them right.
It took all my self restraint not to throw them at her.
And they wonder why we don't visit more often!
They have a handyman but apparently don't want to bother him with these jobs when we'll drive 200 miles to do them for free
DH drew the line at varnishing the windowledges given they had a decorator coming the following week.

[PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty]

Gooseberry lady is a complete legend.

[insanityscratching]

Dsis used to drop off her three children whenever she was going shopping or catching up on housework because "three more won't make a difference when you've already got four of your own"
The last time she did so was a couple of days before my due date for baby number five. As she left I said don't bring them next week when you go shopping as I'll either be overdue or have a newborn.
The following week she phoned to see if I'd had the baby and dh said no but my waters had gone and I'd be going to the hospital to be induced the next day if nothing happened under its own steam later.
An hour later she turned up reasoning that as dh was home I wouldn't mind having her three whilst she went shopping as there was dh to help and I never had quick labours anyway.
She was most affronted when dh sent her packing and bitched to everyone about it.

[gallifrey]

Not quite in the same league as some of these cheeky feckers but I had a friend who had a pfb son and would make my dd play with him at school, she is in the year above him and has her own friends and tbh he is a bit of a strange child and she doesn't like him very much! He is a bit obsessed with my dd and one day when she wouldn't play with him he told his Mum and she invited me round for a coffee the next day and then basically quizzed me on why my dd doesn't want to play with her ds! She then even said "oh well they probably won't be getting married now either then!!!!" They were 5...
Another time we were invited round for dinner and she didn't make our dd any food, she thought she would have already eaten.
Then as we were leaving she offered to give my dd some sweets because she thought they were too dangerous for her precious ds to eat! It wasn't until I got out into my car I realised that clearly she didn't care she had given "dangerous" sweets to my child!

[TraceyTrickster]

Me H and DD (5) have lived overseas for 5 years. We went to UK for a couple of years.
We lived 2 hours from my mother and 2 brothers.
My mother became ill and needed someone to visit her weekly and do her shopping etc. I am the only sibling with a young child AND a full time job.
My brothers baulked at being responsible for our mother once every 3 weeks....after all I had lived overseas and there needed to 'make up time' by visiting my mother EVERY weekend. They thought, as the girl, I would take over their responsibilities
My poor daughter would have been bored shitless with a 4 hour car trip every weekend...and would have had no real time with me (Dealing with an immobile person is not fun).
And the brothers never actually went- despite living minutes away, their other halves (being capable females) looked after my mother.

[cocolepew]

Seriously I am boggling at these, keep them coming .
The woman looking for your house key!

[BearsDontDigOnDancing]

Ezza1 - really pissed off about it aren't you!