Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

[TastesLikePanda]

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

'I can see how it happens with friends who "can't pay" - '

That's because they are never friends, those who truly can't pay will turn the invite down, over and over again, or suggest something else to do that is cheap.

We're pretty skint. Lots of our friends are, too, and know that. So instead of going out we invited one another over for coffee, tea, cakes and kids playing together. Especially flush times are times to ask them over for a simple but good meal.

Friends are about company, companionship and support.

A mate cuts my hair. If I don't have money to pay her, I wait till I do to ask her to cut my hair.

But not say, so as to guilt you into paying. But something like, 'I really enjoy your company. Things are tight, though, care to come round with the kids? There will be cake, jelly and ice cream, tea and coffee :).' And then suggest a time.

Or a quick text on a nice day, 'Say, are you all free? We are heading to XY park for a BBQ/picnic and bringing the footballs/kites/scooters/bikes for the kids. Care to come along?'

When I was extremely heavily pregnant and very sick in my twin pregnancy I was sitting in the lounge in the shade with all the doors and windows open for some air in hot August weather and I heard some children who were not my children in our kitchen so I went to investigate and it was the neighbour's step child and her friend, they had taken the fence panel out, their dog (pitbull cross!!) was pissing all over our garden and the children had walked mud from their hose toy all through the kitchen and climbed up on our kitchen counters to help themselves to our glasses so they could use our squash and the ice machine on our fridge!!! The neighbour thought I wouldn't mind!

I did mind.

They never did it again.

They had never been in our house before either or had permission to use our garden. For a while they were repeatedly climbing over our gate to get into their house too because they didn't fancy taking their keys. They thought they had access rights, I explained they didn't it stopped.

I watch them like a hawk... Knobheads...

I'm still half way reading these but i'll add my ones in whilst i bookmark my place.

I was due to get married, had the dress, bridesmaids etc and i cancelled the wedding with a few months til the big day. I was getting used to living alone and was really struggling for money. A colleague saud "please dont think im being pushy but would you consider selling me your wedding dress?" It was a great solution and she came round to try it on. She absolutely loved it and her mum was coming from the other end of the country so asked could she take it home to show her mum? She only lived two streets away so i agreed.

On the monday she told me she def wanted it and could she hold on to it and give me the cash. The money of course never appeared and when showing the office photos of her new niece there was my dress hanging in the background hundreds of miles away at her mums. Im hoping God frowns upon marrying in church in a stolen wedding dress!

The other one was my SIL she had gone on and on about a certain buggy so i told dh that it might be a good present to get her when preg with the first baby in the family. He gave her the buggy but the next day we came home to it in the middle of our lounge. It had a post it note stuck on it saying "please return this and give me the money" She'd taken the emergency key off MIL. I didnt want to return it but dh did so he waited the full 28 days we had under the returns policy.

I love this It's like Twitter, except we charge for it. I love the pie charts. Well worth a read.

Some cheeky fuckers just can't take no for an answer.

My DBro once asked to borrow my car. To drive to Poland. From the NE England. When I stopped laughing long enough to say no, he got quite huffy after I pointed out that he had his own car which was not only better than mine, but bigger and newer and a damn sight more likely to make it to Poland.

Never got to the bottom of exactly why it had to be my car that did the journey, but one of the feeble excuses was that they couldn't afford airfare. Because petrol costs nothing right.
At this point I got a bit marked and said no way I need it to get to work. The reply was "well there's busses isn't there". Yes and he could get the bloody bus to Poland.

He didn't speak to me for 2 months on account of me being unreasonable. He only started speaking again because he wanted another unreasonable favour.

Ooh, my thread made it into classics!

It's been interesting reading, that's for sure... I hope it has inspired people into seeing 'cheeky' friends for what they are - users...

I hope it has been cathartic for people, and entertaining - sort of

Oh, here you are, found you, was getting a bit concerned as to where I was going to get my fix of righteous indignation today :)

Just literally howled at that it's not twitter site, just the tonic after a crappy Monday.

I'm loving this thread!

Years ago I had a friend who had loads of money, a property developer I the 80's. He invited lots of us to his birthday party, about 50 of us. So we all meet at his cousin's hotel for a meal. We weren't given a choice of meal, but we didn't think anything of it

Then at the end he told us all we needed to pay £40 each for the meal!
Lots refused, I think I paid and extra for the drinks as I didn't know quite what else to do

He has form for this type of behavior though. During the property boom he would ''back to back' property purchases which means he would have sold the property he had just bought before he'd actually paid for it. One house he got the owners to show round prospective purchasers ( at a higher price) for him. He is shameless

A tame one but felt bad until I read these! DSis had a new boyfriend who she brought up to stay with us one weekend when friends of ours were having a bonfire party. We all went to the party and DH and I introduced them to all our friends, party finished at 7.00 and those of us without kids went on to the local pub. There was quite a crowd and my v generous friend bought the first round,everyone asked for either beer or soft drinks except DsiS's boyfriend who asked for a double whisky. He then proceded to dominate the conversation, lecturing our friends on his tedious niche interests and making some quite personal comments.

My DH got the next round in and opened a tab as we were planning on eating at the pub, the same thing happened, another double scotch which he quickly downed before anyone else had really tasted their drink. He then asked if anyone wanted anything from the bar, not many takers given his lightning drinking but I felt pleased he had at least offered as I was starting to feel v embarrassed about inflicting him on my friends. He returned with yet another double scotch and a pint of beer (both for himself) saying 'I need to slow down a bit or I'll be under the table' and then mentioned he had added his drinks to our tab.

He continued to drink us out of house and home over the weekend. Sadly DSis has not seen the light and is still with him five years later!

Bibi, my OH sent " it's not twitter" to my work when I was having a crappy day. I have it as a favourite and read it every now and then. I'm quite envious of people reading it for the first time.

Just been reading the latest of these stories when DH suddenly tells me a story of something that happened at work today. He doesn't know what I'm reading so a cool coincidence :)

Anyway, apparently some plumber who has an account at DH's place of work (building supplies etc) has been on holiday in the far east. They received an email from this guy today asking if it would be possible for him to borrow £2,000 from his account to get him and his family home as they've run out of money!

DH's work colleagues are convinced it's a wind up but after reading these stories I think it might just be the truth

I was helpless with mirth when I got to the logo AaDB - going to have to learn how to do those pie chart thingies for all manner of unreasonable boss requests at work

I can't help myself, reading this thread but it brings back bad memories of a few gobs**s I've met in my life. Takes a while to twig they always want to take, never give. Yes also to the flashy spending, car etc, but last to the bar.

Mexico man takes the biscuit. I also think DW knew - why did she never mention the trip, or send over a thank you bunch of flowers (even from her own garden)?

Thisvehicle, that email from the plumber is a scam sent by an email virus. Two of my friends have had it, that I know of. It would be kind of your dh to let the plumber know that he's received the email so that he can alert his actual friends who might respond to it.

Have any of you seen the site below? It's about pisstaking clients and I love it...

clientsfromhell.net/

Love this thread.. was agog at the stories and then remembered my wedding!

Bil (exh's brother) was a bit of a failed delboy type.. he and sil were both raging alcoholics. At the time he was trying to build up a fruit and veg stall. So they turned up with a bag of rotten fruit and veg in a carrier bag as the wedding gift.. proceeded to get outrageously drunk and then sil got me in a headlock and proceeded to lecture me about what a terrible family I'd married into.. they were all nutjobs and I should have run for the hills when I had the chance etc etc etc.. bear in mind I'm in my wedding finery and with my head being firmly held under her arm.

She then pissed herself and passed out at which point she finally let go :o

Years ago before I was married I lived in an old but lovely unit in a very sought after area in Oz. I had met a new fella and had plans to move out together. My Db who I had seen maybe once or twice in the last 3 or 4 years suggested that he would love to move in. I said ok. Within the week it became apparent that the new guy wasn't going to work out and I told older Db that I would need to stay after all. I was informed that I could stay till I arranged somewhere else. I was much younger at the time, younger than him and felt I should stick to my word. I ended up moving home with parents. I had an ex, who I'm now married to help me move some stuff out, a few boxes, while I was inside getting bits and pieces DB was taking my things out of the vehicle saying 'thats mine' (expensive cookware gifts from parents). He refused to let me collect over 80 percent of my stuff which he still has over 6 years later. I had to have several calls and meetings in order to collect my DDs baby book for immunisation purposes! My DF is over him re: this, although still makes an effort to see him which is wholly ignored. My overall feeling is that I am mostly happy and he is mostly unhappy and it was worth it to be rid of him.

Sorry, no paragraphs, :(.

I have one. Ten years ago I was living in London, not far from a well-known public school. There is a woman, I'll call her Barbara, whom I know through a competitive sport. Have never got on with her and in fact last time we encountered each other in said competitive sport she (completely unreasonably) accused me of cheating - bad case of sour grapes. Since this incident I have more or less ignored her. So I am surprised when the next time I see Barbara, she approaches me and asks if she can come to my flat every Tuesday morning at 11 for a coffee, because she has some time to kill before teaching a class at aforementioned public school at 12. Er no, I say, I am out at work on Tuesday mornings. (Funnily enough, not just sitting at home waiting to entertain people I don't like very much).

Oh that's a shame Barbara says, I normally go to the Marks and Spencers cafe but I was thinking if I could have a coffee with you it would save me 1 pound...

I vaguely knew someone from the next village and bumped into her at the shops and she asked me round for a cup of tea the next afternoon. She'd baked a delicious cake and we chatted, got to know each other a bit better although I was a bit suspect of some of her statements "yes I used to be a professional dancer", "when I was head chef at XXXX (famous London restaurant)", "I was selected for those Olympics""!!!!!

Not that this couldn't all be true but seemed very unlikely, anyway each to their own.

A while later she contacted me about something and I invited her to my house and said, (lazy cah, can't bake), tell you what we'll go to our village pub and have a bar lunch, my treat. She comes into my house and then off we went and when we got there, went into the bar and got the menu, lots of really lovely sandwiches with chunky chips, that sort of thing. But she kept stretching her neck and looking into the conservatory out the back and eventually asked what was in there. It's the posh restaurant so I just waffled over it but she persisted and ........you know what's coming, don't you, I was too much of a wimp to say no and I ended up paying £48 for lunch for two on a bloody Tuesday, FFS!

Strange thing is that if it had been a good friend I wouldn't have hesitated in saying, no you cheeky cow, we're not eating in there unless you're paying! My sisters couldn't believe it or the fact that I allowed it to happen, I'm not known as a pushover!

It gets worse! Didn't hear from her for couple of weeks and then received a message from her saying that she'd remembered I said I was going away in September, and her daughter was now getting married then and that she had family coming from miles away. However she was finding it hard to get them all into the same hotel and it was so expensive, blah! blah! and she had talked to them and had suggested that they could stay in my (empty) house that weekend (TEN of them!) and they all thought it was a great idea, thank you very much!!!!!

I honestly had to read it through several times to see if it did say what I thought it said. It did! She had been in my house once, for 10 minutes, I'd met her on her own exactly twice!

Was tempted to just ignore it but was worried they might all turn up anyway on the day, imagine, so just wrote back congratulating her on the wedding news and said (big fibber) that I wasn't going away now, change of plans.

Was desperate to also tell her what I thought but as it happened I never heard from her again!!!

Strangely enough have since found out that she definitely knew where I lived before she had asked me round (assumed ignorance when I told her) and wondered if she walked round the village looking at 'suitable' accommodation and then set about befriending the people who lived in them

I thought of another one. My DMum's entitled friend has a son. The son was going to move to America, so friend calls up DM and asks if she can put the son's flight and his friend's flight on DM's credit card. DM said no and friend got huffy and said, "I'll give you the cash." DM asks why friend couldn't put it on her credit card and friend admits her cards have all been frozen due to being maxed out and payments not made.

Turns out thought that friend has raised her son to be just as entitled. When he came back from America, he moved in with her bringing his new girlfriend and new girlfriend's dd. Friend gets married and moves in with her new husband, her son (and his gf and dd) stay in friend's house. Marriage goes bust and friend needs to leave husband's house, her son tells her he's sorry but it won't be possible for her to move back into her own house as they need the space and she doesn't really get on too well with his gf. So friend ends up renting whilst her son lives rent free in her house!

That would be Twilight Zone music, not Twilight, doh!

I can't believe the brass neck of some people, addictive thread though! I have one from last year but mild in comparison to likes of mexican house thief and gooseberry bush lady.

Last year DD1 became friendly with a new girl in her class. Wanting to help the girl settle in I invited her over after school. Mother seemed reluctant to give me a contact number but got one eventually. So anyway playdate went well but mother was 4 hours late picking her DD up and phone number turned out to be a wrong number. I was panic stricken thinking something had happened to the mum the child became increasingly anxious and upset and said that her mum always does this. When the mother did turn up she did not offer any excuse or apology and proceeded to berate me for giving her daughter a glass of coke. She called it poor parenting to give children those nasty additives. I replied " no love, poor parenting is abandoning your child with a perfect stranger with no means of contact" and shut the door before she could utter another word. Child was never invited back and have heard from other mums in the class that she's done that trick to them. Shame really as the child is an absolute sweetheart.