what the most hilarious and groundless parental complaint you've ever fielded?

[HanneHolm]

I have heard of one parent complaining a member of staff wasn't singing in a parents assembly.

Well obviously you wouldn't rely solely on a cv would you. You would meet the teacher anyway, you would have various interactions. It would be an additional piece of information.

But you're talking about experience in terms of years in the job, aren't you? If you're talking about primary teachers.

Like I said, if I were on an interviewing panel and were recruiting a teacher, then a CV might be a helpful tool.

But as a parent, a CV is not of any use or help since a parent doesn't interview or employ the teacher.

Anyway - apologies to OP for derailing the thread (which I have found very funny).

But the parent might be interested I the teacher's professional background because that may have a bearing on the way they perform.

I have a new hilarious and groundless the complaint.
The parent who has labelled me as uncaring, unsupportive, inflexible and lacking imagination without ever having met me.

I agree, this argument is becoming circular. I will bow out and stop derailing the thread.

But you're wrong

Though clearly the parent could complain about my poor grammar in previous post!

I can't do it, I own up. I was trying to provoke a quick row with that last post for funnies. But I feel guilty. So I'm sorry.

OK, who's doing it?

Not bad, but you need to bung in some screechy stuff about knowing lots of teachers & they all finish work by 4pm...

Hope this doesn't out me but in for a penny in for a pound!

A few years ago I had a parent screaming at me that their DS had hit another pupil because they didn't respect me as I was too young and inexperienced. They ranted down the phone for a full ten minutes and went on to say DS needed a teacher who had the experience to deal with DS's specific SEN. This was then followed by how I didn't know DS at all and had not built any relationship with him.

After listening to this I calmly explained that I was in fact in my late thirties, had taught pupils with SEN for 14 years, worked with them for 3 1/2 years before that and had a DD with SEN. I also went on to say that I had a post grad qualification in Ds's specific SEN and had been an advisor on this. She was a bit when I said that I was surprised she felt I didn't know her DS at all, as two years earlier I had taught DS for 2 years! If she had turned up to any of the meetings she had asked for that term she might have realised who I was.

Love this thread! It brings back memories!

Place marking.

HopingNotToBeOneOfTheseParentsTiggaxx

So many of these are familiar. A few of my own favourites from 10 years in the classroom:

1. Teaching at a school at the other end of the country to my home town, a parent complained that because I had a different accent to her child he felt inferior. Apparently the fact that I didn't drop my aitches was the root of the problem.

1. The mother who rang up at 3.23 (school finishes at 3.15) to complain that I had confiscated her child's can of pop when he opened it mid-lesson and refused to put it away. Apparently when he got it back at the end of the lesson it was flat and she wanted me to refund him the 50p so that he could get a new one. I could hear the lad shouting to his mother and she just repeated it down the phone to me. Had to transfer her to HOY after 30 minutes of circular argument.

1. Parents who requested a meeting because they didn't want their child learning about 'darkies' in RE (this meant studying Islam). Banged on about removing their child from the lesson, which is allowed. When told that they would have to make arrangements to pick him up and drop him back 50 minutes later, they suddenly had less of a problem with the curriculum.

1. Letter from parents explaining that they had not allowed their child to do a piece of homework (leaflet trying to recruit luddites to the cause) as most luddites would have been illiterate so therefore the homework was not historically accurate.

1. Parent at parents evening who asked me to write an essay comparing Hitler to Robert Mugabe so that they could assess whether or not I was intelligent enough to teach their child GCSE History.

1. Parents of a child with 53 behaviour incidents in one half-term (not all in my lessons, btw) who believed that him threatening to hit me over the head with my laptop was a result of a 'personality clash'. They would be appealing his 5 day exclusion as he had only expressed a 'desire' to brain me, not actually done it, and I could have solved the problem by not winding him up (I had refused to unblock the internet in form so that he could play on internet games).

Poppy I don't know weather to laugh or cry!

I have parents who come to me in the morning to say that I am not allowed to keep their darling in at playtime to do their homework because it was their fault. (i give them a full week to do two pieces).

I once had a parent complain when I had kept her son in that he had done it and handed it in, the boy when asked again in front of me confessed that he hadn't handed it in after all and had lost the homework diary in question. He promised to have a good look at home.
The next morning grandma came in furious that I had "fobbed mum off with a load of bollocks", she knew he had done it because she did it with him. I politely told her that I didn't doubt that but it was not handed in. She continued to shout at me and told me he had no reason not to hand it in therefore I must have hidden it

If only teachers had enough time in the day to deliberately lose children's homework.

I'd have to have a separate planner just to keep note of all of the children I supposedly 'pick on'. Perhaps that is why teaching is such a time consuming job? We are all spending our PPA time thinking up new ways to annoy parents and make children's lives miserable.

Honestly though, when you get a bonkers complaint in it can create much mirth in the staffroom, but only if you are in a school with supportive SLT.

Hmm the amount of stuff I have hiddenor lost would probably fill an aircraft hangar now

I especially like it when you get a big song and dance about how you have lost it, how terrible you are etc and then next lesson it is sheepishly brought out of the bag with no apology or even acknowledgement that they were in the wrong.

Ah, the old 'personality clash'. Er, no, I am trying to teach your child (alongside 29 others). I am not trying to be their mate.

I love this thread! Really hope I won't be one of those parents when my dd (pfb) starts school in 2016. It also makes me nervous about some if the parents I'll be meeting at the school gates!!

This is absolute gold!

I'm sorry, but WHO doesn't name their DC's clothes? Seriously? It doesn't need to be a rocket science affair using a needle and thread, just permanent marker on the label!

I'm not a "label the socks, vest and pants" person (ok, sometimes but I know that's perceivable as crazy!!!) but come on- smell? Smell your DC's jumper? That's mental!!!