what the most hilarious and groundless parental complaint you've ever fielded?

[HanneHolm]

I have heard of one parent complaining a member of staff wasn't singing in a parents assembly.

[fuzzpig]

I have spent such a fun morning reading this thread that I'm risking being late getting ready for work :o

[Lottiedoubtie]

This thread is brilliantly cathartic

[ladygracie]

I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread. We have a huge amount of these parents at my school but also lots & lots of highly reasonable ones too thankfully.

[Clawdy]

Part of the Year 4 class assembly was about their history project, and the children were acting a little story, dressed as Ancient Britons, the girls wearing long nighties for dresses and the boys in improvised furry outfits. Sitting next to me was one of the really annoyingly critical mums,who hissed loudly to me "This is terrible! that child's dress is pale blue! The Ancient Britons used woad and leaves to dye their clothes, they would never have worn that colour!!"

[CatBreath]

I love this thread. I'm a police officer and I could not do your job . I promise never to be an annoying parent!

The public are indeed a source of much amusement. If I may post an anecdote despite being a non teacher; being public-facing role we get similar gems.

Common remark is when using the loo/drinking a drink/eating a surreptitious choc bar-"Officer, are you sure you are allowed to use the toilet/drink/eat on duty"

No, I piss in my bloody pants you fool.

[INickedAName]

I've been that parent, kind of,,, in my defence I was in the right though.

One winter, Dd then in y3 came home with someone else's shoes on, no biggie on it's own except they were four sizes two small (.same style though) and her toes and heels had blistered.

Returned them to the school the next morning, could see teacher give her TA an eye roll, I explained to teacher I've put dd in her trainers as she had someone else's shoes on when she came home, and they'd ere too small an unsuitable, teacher told me she had already checked the class feet the day before as dd got upset about her feet hurting, and these were defiantly my dds shoes, I told her how dd said it had happened at lunch time, when the whole lower years had watched cbeebies in the hall as it was to cold outside and everyone had to remove shoes so as not to muddy the newly laid carpet, I said that dds shoes were clearly labelled with her name and year and were four sizes bigger than this pair, and that I think a much smaller/younger child must have picked my dds up by mistake, she said that the children did not have indoor play the day before and certainly wouldn't be watching cbeebies, so dds story is fully false and handed the small pair back to me. I refused to take them and left them on her desk and left the building, dd who was very upset at being called a liar and I could see her holding back tears at her seat.

Left school calm on the outside but pretty angry on the inside, I'm sorry to say but I rang the school once I'd calmed down and explained what had happened, offered to bring the receipt and packaging for dds shoes up at collection. They promised look into it. I got a phone call three minutes later saying dd shoes had been found on the feet of a reception child, their teacher had noticed the child walking floppy and checked their shoes noticing my dds name inside them. They had in fact spent the lunchtime play watching cbeebies in the hall, dds teacher wasn't aware as she had sent them all outside before going on her break, the weather turned bad and the lunch assistants brought the children in.

To be fair to the teacher she came over to me at the end of the day, extremely apologetic to me and said she'd also apologised to dd for saying she lied and had done some nice activities with her that day as she was upset for being told she was lying, and that she would fully understand if I wanted to take things further. The apology was more than enough. I work in childcare myself and understand how parents can be sometimes, and she is a fantastic teacher in a fantastic school. I'd have been "that mother" in their eyes for a little while though, and can see how unreasonable I was suggesting they check the whole lower schools feet for my dds shoes.

[INickedAName]

Some of mine from Daycare Nursery.

One parent wanted us to remove his 6 week old dd from any crying children as it distresses her and also remove her from room when other parents came to collect as they could be "sex offenders" Explained about ratios and that one member of staff would not be able to take his dd out of room as it would leave one member with five babies. Suggested a Nanny may suit his requirements.

We had a child biting another on several occasions, Mum and Dad wanted us to bite the child back as punishment and looked at me in disbelief when I said we can't do that.

One Dad threatened me with legal action after being over an hour late to pick his child up, it was Xmas eve, we closed at 6pm (his child should have been picked up at 5pm so technically he was already hour late) and at 6.10pm he was "on his way" Nursery owner came at 6.30pm to remove cash and was shocked to see child still there, even more shocked that he was "on his way" as they had just drive past Dad having smoke outside pub ten minutes away. He didn't take too kindly to the phone call telling him if someone suitable is not here to collect his child before 7pm the relevant authorities would be informed and the extra hours childcare will be added onto his fees. He said if I like working with children I should have been happy, and is going to take "legal action". I laughed to myself at the thought of him justifying to a court his right to not collect his child from daycare so he can go on the works Xmas night out.

[FruitBalls]

Name changed.

In the mid-90s, a girl's father wrote a letter to the head excusing his daughter from RE because he didn't want her learning about forrin religions. I overheard him in the playground say to other parents that he didn't want her learning about 'but but ding ding' religions.

Same father also asked the head to make sure his daughter didn't sit next to any of the black boys in the school in class or assembly and not play with them at play time in case she got raped.

This man was in his mid-30s at the time

[FruitBalls]

^ God, sorry, not very humourous at all!

[MonstrousRatbag]

I am trying very hard not to be 'that parent' at the moment during the 'Saga of the School Sweatshirt'. If I crack I'll be sure to come back here and let you all know.

[tahunny]

I was nearly that parent. Not against the teacher, but against another parent.
Dd had a coat that was bought two sizes too big purposely. It was bought in the sale before she even started school and was a winter coat. She's always been tall hence the extra size. Name and class written inside clearly. 1st year no problem. Come second year the winter coat still fits. Come one thursday in january, child comes home nothing is noticed. Getting ready for school in the morning I notice the coat shes wearing is not hers. Same coat, slightly different, aged 4.a bit dirty and faded. Frayed on the sleeves where some kid been chewing it. Sleeves are at the elbows looks like it was sprayed on. Take her to school wearing it, inform teacher. She knows another smaller kid in the class with same coat and will swap back. Home time, coat not swapped as child didnt come in with other coat conveniently. Monday, parent informed to return coat. Home time, dd comes out wearing similar coat again, not hers. Upon inspection, its aged 9. Dd is 5. Coat is covered in bird shit, cat hairs and fluff is matted like a stray dog. I was livid. Not at teacher, but at the sheer fuckin cheek Of manky parent stealing a coat. Turns out parent has two dd. One in reception and one in juniors. After youngest come home in well looked after coat she'd decided to keep it. When challenged she'd sent the older daughters coat to fob us off. Teacher said she'd keep eye out incase it made an appearance but after a week still no sign. After the state of the coats given to us I wouldnt have wanted it back tbh.
Anyone else have anything like that?

[OhForFudgeCake]

I used to work in a holiday club and had a complaint from a father that his son 'hadn't been given enough supervision' in an activity and, as a result, hadn't produced a result that was equal to his actual ability level. The activity was icing biscuits, the child was 5.

"is the (free) Orange squash organic?"

A parent at my daughters school was livid in the playground because the school hadn't agreed to her request that her daughter not do P.E - because the P.E kit had short sleeves and her daughter (6) needed to wear long sleeves as she 'has' to rub her sleeve on her ear as a 'comfort mechanism' - no SEN by the way.

"How hard can it be to restyle my daughter's hair when it becomes out of place?" - yeah I'm sure her teacher has nothing better to be doing......

[LeonardWentToTheOffice]

Wasn't making a complaint but did happen to mention to DS's reception TA that was a bit disappointed as DS's reading book had been changed so I hadn't got to hear the end of the story - I remember it well (DS is nearly 12 now!) It was a Biff Chip and Kipper story about a knitted scarf. I then went back to her the following day and said how ridiculous I must have sounded, she did hunt out the scarf book for me! I said I appreciated how busy they were and how much the teaching staff did and could I be of any help. I then spent many happy years of volunteering in the school.

[MillionToOneChances]

tahunny that's happened to me twice.

First time the coat came back via lost property after 3 (THREE) years when my back-up namelabel the label-snipping thief missed was given more credence than the name of another child scrawled elsewhere (benefits of being known around school), second time again thanks to a hidden second name-label and the fact that the label-snipping thief's name washed out of their far more visible iron-in label. The cheek!!

For high-value items I now label inside the collar in inch high letters in permanent marker. And multiple labels since they've served me so well.

[Snatchoo]

Tahunny happened to us too.

Really don't get why when your kid comes home in someone else's jumper (obviously just picked up by mistake as kids are only five) you would then write your kids name in it? But not do anything about the ironed in label?

This is what happened with DTS jumper. Really pissed off as I thought the mum was a friend!

[tahunny]

Yes, it is truely shocking. I expect kids to leave things at school and come out wearing wrong cardigans and jumpers. To a five year old they all look the same. Its the eagle eyed thieving parents that then decide to rename the stolen item and keep it that gets me. Stealing from a five year old, wtaf?! My dd has come home in someone elses jumper a few times, and I washed it and sent it back every time thinking that was the right thing to do. The best about it, it wasnt any special expensive coat, just 7quid in sale, reduced from 20. No expensive brand either. It was just clean and looked after. Absolute ming of a coat they tried to give us instead. I ended up using her bright red duffel instead. Spot that badboy from france its that bright. And because these people try to rub out or write over another kids name, I used big black permanent marker and wrote full name all in the back, then turned out each sleeve and wrote it in there as back up. I have taken school bag, all cardies and jumper and pe kit to a local shop who charged me a fiver to sew her name on the front of all stealable items. Im gonna make those parents work harder for their free stuff.

Sorry for the rant

[Icimoi]

FudgeCake, are you sure that child doesn't have sensory problems? Has she been assessed by an occupational therapist?

[User24689]

During my first Ofsted inspection as an NQT, I caught two of my Y5 (!) boys smoking in the hedge alongside the school field. Not wanting to cause a scene in front of inspectors, I gave them a discrete bollocking, confiscated the cigarettes and told them I would deal with it later.

At the end of the very exhausting and stressful day, the mother of one of the boys stormed into my classroom and gave me both barrells about stealing her son's property and demanded I gave her the fags back... all in front of the open-mouthed inspectors!!

Thankfully, I don't work in that school anymore!

[StrangeGlue]

Parent wanted playground treated to 'remove the bacteria' ... Head had to explain that's not really possible.

[whatawhoppa]

Strangeglue that is the dunniest thing I have read all day

[whatawhoppa]

Funniest

[Ridingthestorm]

Just found 'the classics' and need to add my bit!

15 years ago, a Y2 child was seemingly 'behind the times' in class - answering questions asked 15 minutes previous and had been sucessfully answered etc, not making eye contact etc. I brought up my concerns with parents who then challenged me in the playground a few days later and said my accent confused her. I replied immediately that I had 29 other children in the class who didn't have an issue.

A year later a parent came in screaming and shouting and threatening to remove her child because her child had been reprimanded for telling a very big lie which resulted in the dismissal of a dinner lady (child said dinner lady had sworn; she had not). Parent said her child doesn't lie. (The entire class and the child retracted their statement!)

13 years ago I was teaching Y4 (brand new school, we had our ups and downs - mainly our downs) and a mum came in and complained that her 9 year old daughter should not be using scissors (they were the coloured handled child scissors that aren't sharp enough to cut through skin!!!)

Another parent (dad) had a go at me because I said it was not appropriate for his 9, nearly 10 year old son to throw a paddy because his rounders team didn't win by throwing the baton across the field, sulking on the grass and refusing to come into school. He said "Who said it isn't appropiate?" I said "Society!" Boys mum wanted to curl up and die - she was a TA at the school!!!!

Only 4 years ago I had a little girl bring something for show and tell. (Y1) I immediately played down the shocked expression on mine and TAs faces as I took the item to the office and explained that mummy would have to collect it after school. It was a vibrator! She never did collect it. Same parent only a year before wanted a YR boy removing and police called because her daughter and the little boy were found in the same cubicle having a wee. She claimed her daughter had been 'violated' by a 4 year old. It was truly innocent (boys and girls share toilets in YR) and she had gone in before the little boy had removed himself. It had come about because the little girl had went homeand said she had seen xxxxx tiddler in the toilets!!!

Another mum berated me and wanted to make an official complaint because her daughter wasn't a 4C in Y4. Apparently I had said she was a 4C and that it was on her report from Y3. I told them to go ahead with the complaint after 30 minutes of arguing as I knew their DD wasn't a 4C and that they were mistaken becauase at the time grades in years 1, 3, 4 and 5 weren't reported. She had mistaken DD's report with that of DD in Y6 in the previous year.

Another girl's mum complained to the head because I wouldn't share the results or compare her daughter's friends optional SAT test results with her daughter's (friend was girl of loony 4c parents).

[Summerisle1]

This didn't happen at school but was still a bizarre and unrealistic parental complaint.

I was one of the organisers of a childrens' Easter Egg & Spoon "race" that took place after a very silly, costumed race for the adults. Every child got to take the chocolate egg they were racing with home and the whole thing was just intended to be fun. Which it was.

Until immediately afterwards when a parent came over to me and loudly insisted that the winner must be disqualified and stripped of their medal. Apparently, he'd been watching the winning child and was insistent that said child must have placed her thumb over the egg to hold it on the spoon. His reason being that the winner was only 5 and couldn't possibly have won the race without cheating. His child (who came second) was the rightful winner and he demanded that I call "the adjudicators" (whoever they might be!) in to enforce a disqualification.

No adjudicators were involved and no children were disqualified.

[NewOldParent]

As this has been bumped, I'll add one in.
I'm a "leader" or a "youth organisation" shall we say.
We were off on a week's trip when a Mum pulled me to one side. Apparently year 6 DC "Doesn't eat Vegetables". I looked surprised at her.
"No, not only DC not eat fruit or vegetables, I don't want anyone to even put them on his plate or suggest that he eats them"

Safe to say that both parents are morbidly obese and DC is inevitably going to end up the same way.

Another parent came on camp and complained about the food, having eaten everyone else's portions and 2 of us went without one meal because of it....

Talking of... why do people assume we are paid? I've been told more than once that "I should be earning my pay".