What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

[Berts]

Not just the usual competitive, Stepford Mommies rubbish, but real 'back away now, slowly' stuff.

Mine was when one of the babies, ten months old fell over and banged his head. His mum picked him up to give him a cuddle (of course) but, when he didn't stop crying pretty quickly she stands him on her lap, looks him in the eye and starts barking: "Man up! Come on, Man up!"

Barking being the operative word...

[eminemmerdale]

I had to do a work related talk at a childrens centre in a suburb of townrecently , it's a fairly deprived area, but I've worked with the homeless, violent teenagers and all sorts in my varied career so was quite happy to go along. First off, all the mums were wearing slippers, which is fine but, well a bit odd, I thought they may have taken their shoes off...but no they stroll there like that every week apparently. As I started talking (it was quite informal, but what I was saying did need to be listened to sort of thing,) one little boy started shouting. I smiled indulgently, like you do, and the beslippered mother screeched 'will you shut it, this laydee is telling me abaht how to get a job so I don't have to deal wiv you all day' The leader sort of sighed and said 'now, chantelle, haven't we discussed inappropriate language in front of little jordan before?' 'You might of, but I ent' was the reply. All the others just sat there and one said 'well carry on then luv'.

[giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes]

not sure if it s the right style of thing but it popped in to my head as a memorable moment...when a toddler got stuck in a wooden dolls high chair! He was stuck for ages! Eventually the thing had to be taken apart with screw drivers.

[melonribena]

I had a strange experience this week. It was a very busy baby / toddler group but there was a quieter corner with comfy chairs where the mums and younger babies seemed to congregate.

One mum with a teeny baby of only a few weeks old started breast feeding under a big elaborate cape. Loads of people smiled at her, offered her tea, was all lovely.

Another mum of a baby about 5/6 months old joined her and breastfed under a huge wrap she was wearing. Also lots of positivity for her.

My 6 month old decided he wanted feeding so I pulled down my top and discretely as possible fed him. I used my hair - very long - and scarf to desperate over the exposed flesh but didn't bother with a cover. I used to feed under a muslin when out but ds objects to it now and pulls it off, so i just try and get on with feeding and be as discrete as I can be.

Anyway! For some reason when I looked around I was getting a huge amount of dodgy looks and frowns. I'm not a hugely confident person anyway so I quickly finished and moved away.

Not sure what caused the looks but was pretty mental and upsetting!

[melonribena]

Drape not desperate!

[MadStaringEyes]

A lady questions everybody under 30, or looking a bit rough, about how they afford to live in the area. She loathes me because she can't work out my finances.

Same lady does not let her child beyond an arm length, the poor sausage looks so bored.

[giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes]

The tortoise car seat one has just made me wheeze and snort with laughter.

[UterusUterusGhali]

These are brill!
Love the robot tortoise boy!

[FreePeaceSweet]

Soverylucky I was paraphrasing but she definitely said 'cum'. I was warned that this was not unusual behaviour by someone who'd been there waaay before me. Her dh also "Accidentally on purpose" wanders into the living room starkers. Legend has it of course :o

[MrsMushroom]

eminemmerdale I know this is a light hearted thread but that sort of attitude is horrible. Yours I mean. Not "Chantelle's" why take the piss out of people who as you say are deprived and you're meant to be a professional.

[jellybeans]

I have been to a lots of toddler groups. Most awkward was probably either one which was run by retired teachers who used to treat us all like children and do the fingers on lips sssshhh at us. We were told off if our child didn't sit through the talk they did before they could play. Worst of all they did some very controversial 'talks' about gay people and 'foreigners'.

Another time one of the mums spilled hot tea on another child. The mum was livid and everyone was watching. It was soooo awkward.

Other time was when myself and another young mum were chatting and watching our kids and the leader assumed because we were youngest mums there we were the ones who had left our kids outside the building asleep in pushchairs! She was suitably. embarrassed when she realised it was some childminders that had.

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

This obviously needs to be moved to classics.

I have just laughed myself hoarse at the mental naked panpipes elf, the car seat tortoise as well!

I fell quite short changed all the groups I've been to have been quite normal.

[Bearfrills]

I haven't really seen any bizarro behaviour other than everyone in a baby group we went to passing around a certain GF book like it was The Bible. I wasn't using GF and just let the baby nap/feed, etc on demand. I was very seriously asked: "but how will she know when to eat/sleep if you don't put a schedule in place?"

I was also asked at a different group where I was the only mum not doing Baby Sign classes: "but how will you know what your baby wants?"

That's about as wild as it gets.

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

Whatatwat. So what did you and your dh do? Did you actually get up and leave?

Wearingpurple. What the hell is elimination communication!?

[Bearfrills]

I was wondering that too. What is elimination communication? It's been mentioned on a few threads.

[WorkingtoohardMama]

When ds was small, I took him to a baby and toddler group where these 2 mums would ask people to get out of the comfy chairs as they needed to bf, they would then lift their tops completely, so both breasts completely exposed, I would often need to bf ds, but would always attempt some discretion, never knew where to look!

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

Elimination communication involves watching your baby very very carefully, pretty much from birth for signs they are about to wee or poo (you try and associate noises with weeing/pooing to make it easier) and then quickly putting a potty under them.

I suspect wipe clean floors are a good idea if you want to try it...

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

Oh that!

[Bearfrills]

That sounds like a hell of a lot of work. Does it actually work or is it done purely for Smug Points?

I'm having flashbacks to the time I was changing DD on my mum's sofa and in the five seconds between removing the old nappy and sliding in the new one she began to shit and kept on shitting. It was like a Mr Whippy machine designed by Satan himself and I had to clean her, the sofa, the floor, mum's dog who got too close ....

I wouldn't be able to cope with it happening in the middle of Tesco or on the bus.

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

bear!

Supposedly it works. I don't think they claim that the DC will go to the toilet independently any earlier than babies in nappies so unless you really can't afford nappies and live in a wipe clean house I don't really see the point who wants to make potty training last three whole years?!

[pictish]

I haven't seen anything totally crazy, but I do remember one group I tried where the organiser would stop in the middle of the session and make the kids hug this big, ugly, manky stuffed Humpty she called FOG (Friend of God) and then sing some songs about Jesus and how lovely he was.

I only went once.

[whatatwat]

fuckadoodlepoopoo
hell no we didnt, i pointed out that it was a toddlers, not a mother and baby group and that he was just as allowed to be there as she was.

[BooksandaCuppa]

There was a toddler group I went to once in a less than desirable area.

A woman was taking orders for stolen 'premium' pushchairs...and by that I think she meant stolen to order from other people, not from shops (not that that's better or worse morally, just more...brazen?).

I did only go the once.

[Meglet]

I used to take DD to a fun but poncy toddler music group. One of the other little boys was handing around some home made (and clearly pre-schooler decorated) biscuits because it was his birthday. I said something along the lines of "thank you. Have you been making biscuits with your mummy? ". And his mum snapped back at me "He made them all by himself" .

Silly me for underestimating little Hestons culinary skills.