What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

[Berts]

Not just the usual competitive, Stepford Mommies rubbish, but real 'back away now, slowly' stuff.

Mine was when one of the babies, ten months old fell over and banged his head. His mum picked him up to give him a cuddle (of course) but, when he didn't stop crying pretty quickly she stands him on her lap, looks him in the eye and starts barking: "Man up! Come on, Man up!"

Barking being the operative word...

[Acandlelitshadow]

Probably the woman who spent the entire two hour session on her knees holding her almost-but-not-quite-walking baby up by the arms so it could 'walk' to whatever took its fancy. Was torn between and but mostly

[SkiBumMum]

This morning at (school) nursery drop off a mother unhoicked a sling thing off her back to let the pupil free. He shouted, stamped, screamed. She then sat on the sandpit lid and bf to calm him down. He's in the second intake so may still only be 3.5 I guess but seriously there's a time and a place.

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Lottapianos

No - she wasn't mortified at all. She just said "well, I didn't know" and carried on.

She generally behaved normally except when it came to breastfeeding.

She advocated that formula should only be available on prescription for women who were medically incapable of BF.

[RapunzelLetDownYourHair]

SkiBumMum...really?! Are we going there? Ooh will there be a bunfight now?!

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

Unexpected. What a bitch!

At a playgroup, i was explaining to a mum how unwell my baby had been, and how at the tip of what i could cope with i had made the difficult decision to give my baby medication to stop to 8 times a day vomiting. The mediation was pretty harmless and my baby needed it as he was losing weight rapidly. The other mum shook her head, tutted, gave me that judgmental look that some do so well and said "yes but its medication isn't it". With how worried i was i could have slapped her.

Repunzel. shouting Mum says "well she gets child benefit and I pay a higher rate of tax so I AM PAYING HER BENEFIT and she should give something back".

. . . That doesn't even make sense!

[RapunzelLetDownYourHair]

I know! She probably thought I should have grovelled at her feet and thanked her for my pennies (wot I spend on Heat magazine and takeaways)

[SummerRainIsADistantMemory]

I was at a meetup for another parenting site once. One of the other mothers spent half an hour barraging 19 month old dd with questions

What colour is that
What's this (holding up spoon/cup/toy)
How old are you
How old is your brother
What's your favourite book
What animal is this

She just kept going and going.

Dd could speak very well at th at age bit had selective mutism until she was 5 and just stared at her like she had two heads the whole time whilst I tried not to suffocate bfing ds1 in my attempts to contain my laughter.

I didn't bother going back to that group

I was once told in a laughing voice by a mother of a child who'd attacked ds2 (3 years younger than her child) that 'she's so wild, at home she drags her baby sister around by the hair'

well ok then, as long as she's beating up her own family too I guess it doesn't matter that my child is bleeding

[Jelly15]

Ponderingonaquandry
"Wips they'll be childminders, they always do that sort of thing round here too. Winds me up something rotten!"

Funny that because it is the mums who gossip at song time in our playgroup and it winds us childminders up. Oh and the mums sit there ignoring their DC while the childminders end up supervising the lot, and the mums never help to tidy up.

[Psammead]

Ooh, Summer, that's reminded me. I used to run a few english classes and play sessions for German pre-schoolers. One little girl was a bit hitty. Normally I'd not tell the mother if a child as a one-off thing was a bit rough with another. I'd handle it myself and that would be that. But after the third session it was obvious that this girl really was not aware of the rules as far as hitting/scratching etc were concerned, so I took her mother to one side and told her about it. Her response was to laugh and say 'Oh that? Don't worry about that, she does it at kindergarten too.'

Oh. That's ok then

[CamperWidow]

Just to say, this little girl has no immune issues, her mother just has some serious social ones.......

[weegiemum]

The police came and arrested a mum at a class I was running!

[flootshoot]

I've never seen anything mental.

[coughingbean]

Me either Floot

[notso]

DS2 has a nut allergy and can't have anything with nuts or nut traces so the lovely old ladies who run the group always ok his snack with me first this often means he ends up with fruit and cheese when the others have fruit and a biscuit or cake and DS's snack has his name on so there is no mix ups.
One week a little girl (really spoiled won't share with anyone, the Mum doesn't intervene and will hold toys for her DD even though she might not play with them again the whole session) kept saying to her Mum
"I want that snack, I like cheese, I want that special one" over and over again,the Mum marched over and said
"what's the deal with the special snack?"
I explained about the nut allergy and was about to offer some of DS's cheese when she yelled to the ladies in the kitchen
"excuse me DD has allergies, she will require a special snack from now on, she will need cheese, fruit and cake"
When the leader asked what she was allergic to the mum said "I don't want to go into details but she needs cheese"

[MrsMalinky]

My best one was at baby swimming class, or actually just afterwards in the (public) changing room.

One mother was very "loud parenting" her 4-5 month old baby, who was laying on a towel while she dried herself. " Yes I know darling its nearly time for some lovely milk darling..." Like we were all fascinated.....

Next thing she whips her swimming costume off while baby starts bawling. She whips out some PANPIPES and starts frolicking around like a mental naked elf.

There was COMPLETE SILENCE in the crowded changing room while she did this, other than the baby who obviously howled more. Brilliant .

[coughingbean]

MrsMalinky Bahahahahaha

[BertieBotts]

OMG, MrsMalinky. Quote of the week?? The mental image of that is just priceless.

[VivaLeBeaver]

I was at my sisters house once and she had lots of her friends and their kids round.

We were in the sitting room. Dd was 6yo and there was a boy there who was 5yo. Dd was lying on the floor playing with something and this boy who has a reputation for been a handful ran up to her and kicked her in the mouth as if he was kicking a rugby ball. Dd was hysterical and I picked her up, never said anything to the boy as I was so shocked. His mum started ranting at me that it was my dd's fault for being on the floor. It was very obvious it wasn't an accident.

Same mum also had a baby who'd picked up dd's brand new stuffed cat. Baby was chewing the cats tail off. Dd asked the baby's dad if she could have her cat back (baby was on dads knee) and dad said no, she needed to share. I stood up and took the cat off the baby and gave it back to dd while giving dad an icy look. He was quite happy to sit there watching his baby wreck dd's new toy. I don't mind germ sharing but its a bit mean to tell a 6yo she has to put up with a baby chewing a hole in her new toy.

[Ashoething]

I have never seen anything too mental but there was one really annoying mum at our toddler group. Talk about foghorn-leghorn! She was unbelievably LOUD and noone could ge a word in egdeways for her. She repeatedly used to put her hot cup of coffee on the table where the kids were having their snack! and she never once stayed to help tidy up-mind you there were a few that were good at playing that trick!

[DieWilde13]

pmsl. People now think that I am mental because I keep sniggering every time I think panpipes!

[gallifrey]

I feel a bit left out now, the baby group I go to is fairly normal!

[FrustratedSycamoresRocks]

I can't wait 'til I go back to baby groups.

[MrsRajeshKoothrappali]

I never get to see naked panpipe playing.

:(

[Pandemoniaa]

When ds1 & 2 were pre-school age themselves, I helped out at a playgroup that was probably a forerunner for the Sure Start scheme. Things got quite eventful on the morning that Parent A discovered that the father of her 3 month old baby was the same bloke that had fathered Parent B's 3 month old baby. Parent A & B were sisters which made it all the worse. I still recall Parent B screeching "Why the fuck do you think I called the baby Brian then you stupid fucking cahhhhhh?" to a room full of babies, toddlers and parents. All of us stunned into silence.

[TheOneWithTheHair]

I went to one on a regular basis. The leaders there had a policy that they would try to have a friendly chat to every adult. Sitting on my own one day watching ds2, who was 2.5 so playing very independently, I was trying to have minutes peace.

The leader came up to me.
Leader: Oh Hair are you trying to get some peace and quiet?
Me: Yes.

She then sat next to me and talked at me for 15 minutes.

Crying at the panpipes.