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what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

790 replies

2shoeskickedtheeasterbunny · 06/04/2012 23:25

mine was my DB, he did warn me but tbh I was so...... [bushock]
I was kind of 'oh ok"
he put old sheets on the floor to protect his carpet from...

dd's wheelchair wheels

guess where we won't be going again(this was after he insisted she was shoved in the corner of the table at a pub...just in case she got in the staff's way....WTF)

??? YOUR please

OP posts:
Byeckerslike · 09/04/2012 10:43

Marking place! Grin

marshmallowpies · 09/04/2012 11:04

ovaltine no, he's not a coke head. I think he goes to the loo & falls asleep. He did it once at work when hungover, walked into a meeting 40 mins late & you could see the mark on his cheek where he'd been resting his head on the wall of the loo cubicle!

MackerelOfFact · 09/04/2012 11:20

I have posted before about my, ahem, unusual PILs but I think they warrant a mention on this thread. DPs mum and stepdad live in what can best be described as a farm storage facility by the side of a main railway line and next to a strip of airfield/racetrack. They fashion themselves as kind of born-again hippies/eco-warriors and they have no running water, electricity, mains gas or toilet facilities in their 'house'.

They view washing as personal weakness, and comment frequently about my 'obsession' with washing whenever I am there (I wash about every 36-48 hours when I go there, which is far less than I would like!) They also added a seat to their compostable toilet 'for people like me' who would probably not want to squat over a pile of steaming turds to relieve themselves. Urination should ordinarily be performed outside leaning against a canopy thing, but they 'allow' me and the DCs to use the compostable toilet by special dispensation.

They also prefer to shun such 'conventions' as using plates and cutlery to eat food. They are perfectly nice people, just a bit bonkers. It's all the more baffling since when I first met DP, MIL lived in a lovely, modern well-appointed house and would always make sure she had tealights and fancy bath oils for me to have a luxurious soak whenever I went to stay.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 09/04/2012 11:26

My best friend once invited me and XH to dinner as her new BF had just moved in with her and she wanted to show him off.

She cooked pasta for us all, and the BF's portion was fractionally smaller than everyone else's. He threw a colossal strop and stomped the short distance to the bedroom, where he spent the evening sulking and 'playing' his bass (he wasn't very good). The flat was tiny and there was no bedroom door, so every time we left the sitting room we had to go past him.

My friend took a further 2 years to dump the little shit.

QueenofPlaids · 09/04/2012 11:39

The oddest visit I ever had was just shortly after graduating from university. A uni friend had moved house and invited a bunch of us out to dinner. When we got there the place was a tip (other than a meticulously organised bookcase that we were haughtily told not to touch when I started browsing book spines!)

Dinner was a Thai green curry and whilst the host was cooking we quickly discovered the place was absolutely crawling with HUGE spiders. DP and others tried to usher out as many as possible while I had a medicinal Wine to try to block it out.

Anyway, dinner arrived and it was fully of match heads. Not a couple, not just my plate - loads of match heads on everyone's plate. It was clear our host had chopped off the ends and stirred them in though he claimed he'd knocked some over and tried to pick them out. We were a bit Hmm by this point, but politely pushed our food round the plate and tried to be nice.

After dinner his really creepy mate produced a bottle of malt whisky and proceeded to offer everyone a glass (after giving me a loud & rather stern telling off for pronouncing it wrong which I didn't but not to worry).

He went off ostensibly to get glasses, but taking the bottle with him. Didn't think much of it, but he came back with a glass already poured for himself & a set of glasses for the rest of us into which he enthusiastically poured large whiskies. Some time later as we were getting ready to leave, the walls started 'rippling'. By the time I got back to my flat both myself and my DP had started hallucinating. We quickly figured he'd spiked the whisky.

The next days I called another friend to ask what had happened, but he wouldn't talk to me. About a month later, he invited us round for a coffee & explained that creepy friend thought we'd all been rude to him and wanted to teach us a lesson. The host (mr matchsticks) had some mental health issues and creepy friend had taken a number of drugs (including bloody lithium) and spiked the bloody whisky. I was extremely Angry on account of the whole 'could've killed us with a cocktail of prescription drugs' thing... He hadn't wanted to tell us when he found out in case we called the police (bloody right I would have).

Suffice to say Mr Matchsticks gets a nod in the street if I see him & I have not seen Creepy Friend since!

GinPalace · 09/04/2012 11:43

Mackeral your MIl has undergone quite the transformation!!

Remembered another.

Once when I was 14 or so I went to stay with my cousin I was close friends with for the weekend. She lives about 100 miles from me in a fairly rural place. Our families often saw each other and when my cousin visited us we would collect her from train station or drive her where she needed to be. Never saw her struggle to get home in any way. Have even been known to drive her the full 100 miles home.

On the monday I am due to leave and cousin gets bus to school (I am on different hols so not going to school myself)

I am left in the house with Aunty who I know is driving that day to My Nan / her Mum who lives about 3 miles from me. She and her Dp will be the only people in a large estate vehicle.
I (in my defence I am only 14) assume she will take me with her so I can either get the short bus ride from Nan's home (and maybe see my Nan) or she would actually drop me off home as only 3 miles out of the way of her 100 mile journey.

Mid-morning she chirps up - 'hadn't you be getting your bus now as we are leaving shortly and you can't have a key to lock up'

I was stunned [bushock] so said nothing and she tosses the bus timetable at me.

It is rural-ish, the buses are about 4 times a day, I look at the timetable to see I have about 10 minutes to get to the bus stop and the next one would be rather late to connect to the train home.

Cue mad dash to the bus stop, an hour bus ride to next town. A half hour bus to large town train station. A train journey to change-over station. A 4 hour delay due to a load being spilled on the line. Then 2 hour train ride to nearest station to home. Then another bus to home.

All in all it took me about 8 hours to get home, exhausted and starving as I had no money for drinks or snacks.

All to save her having me (Niece she has known well for years) in her car. She didn't even have to change her route. I had one small bag to carry. My parents have ferried her daughter about loads. We get on OK. [buconfused]

LeQueen · 09/04/2012 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScorpionQueen · 09/04/2012 11:48

Best thread ever! I keep coming back to read more.
:)

everlong · 09/04/2012 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2012 12:02

GP, do you think it was just a case of her completely not thinking - you got the bus & she was going out and it just didn't occur to her that you were travelling pretty much the same route?
Otherwise that's just mean!

GinPalace · 09/04/2012 12:10

I'm pretty sure she knew what she was doing.

The road between my and Nan's house was well travelled by all our family so unlikely to slip her mind even if she wasn't aware what a horrendous journey the alternative would be.

She has form - she is 'eccentric' sometimes and often very very self-centred and selfish though that only became apparent to me when I was quite a bit older.

eggsanityshatching · 09/04/2012 12:11

I was 15 and somewhat naive but was invited round with a group of friends (all boys) to one of the friend's parent's house to play pool.All seemed pretty normal until the mum took me aside to show me a drawer containing tampons, condoms, lube and vibrators and instructed me to help myself should I need to. Hmm Blush If I thought that was bad the dad also showed me the drawer and proceeded to detail what his preferences were with regards to the condoms and vibrators and assured me that they wouldn't interrupt if the door was closed.Blush We were a group of friends nothing more I wondered if every female visitor got showed the drawer but never ever went there again.

GinPalace · 09/04/2012 12:16

Eggs maybe that was their sure-fire winner way to make sure no hankypanky ever happened ever - who is going to use the condom recommended by the boys Dad!!?? Sounds like a bit of reverse psychology to me!! [buwink]

BelleDameSansMerci · 09/04/2012 12:21

Shock at nearly all of these...

SauvignonBlanche · 09/04/2012 12:26

The first time I met PILs they insisted that DH (newish BF at the time) and I slept in their bed and they slept on an air bed on the lounge floor.
I was mortified! Blush

fuzzpig · 09/04/2012 12:38

DitaVonCheese I'm desperate to know which author you're talking about!

Madforfootball · 09/04/2012 12:45

At my house:

One flatmate lost his father whilst we were living together, and his mother was coming up with a sister to stay at ours whilst her house was redocorated (the father had died at home). My other flatmate announced that she couldn't stay in the house with them, so would stay elsewhere for a few days, so I asked if we could put one of the visitors in her room, to save having to have someone on a sofa. She replied that whilst I was welcome to sleep there, she didn't want any of the grief-stricken people in her room as it would disturb her angels...!

Same flatmate was greeting on the stairs by my sister, three days into my sister's visit, with the words "Oh you do exist, I thought you were a figment of my sister's imagination!" Up to this point my flatmate had been managing to avoid my sister fairly successfully, on my advice, and could see why I'd suggested she kept out her way. During the same visit my sister, at that point in her late 30s, had come into the lounge with a LARGE bar of chocolate, offered me and my mother ONE square each, then stretched out on the floor like a teenager and proceeded to eat the rest of the bar herself. She didn't offer my other flatmate any when he walked in, just ate the whole lot herself. Then, after I used my flatmate's phone to make a pretty important call (I had no credit on mine) she insisted on using his phone also, even though she didn't know the guy, to ring her husband, as her phone was "upstairs". Lazy cow!

Finally, we had friends of my male flatemate staying with us a few days. I'd never met the woman and her daughter before, so was rather put out to be told by the mother, on about the second day here, that she'd gone into my room and taken the washing that was drying in their and put it on the line, smalls and all. Ok, so she had the best intentions at heart, but really, did she have to...?

Eggrules · 09/04/2012 12:59

Confused The older we get the stranger our parents seem Confused

I assume my ils have issues with monogamous coitus and so Le Queen I see your 29 and raise you 42 years of age. I have known my OH since we were teenagers; have lived together for 15 years and married for 7. They have 3 double bedrooms and only theirs has a double bed.

My Dad is incredulous that I (still) shower at least once every day. They have a lovely bathroom and state of the art column shower.

My lovely sis and BIL are very pfb about both of her DC. When they were toddlers we stayed overnight, at their insistence; we usually stayed at a hotel. At 7pm toddlers went to bed and the TV was turned off, front room was lit by a lamp and we were instructed to not flush the toilet 'under any circumstances'. Sis and I shared a mini bottle of wine and menfolk has a stubby beer each. Long winter nights must fly by.

Softlysoftly · 09/04/2012 13:27

At ours when a student so a bit of a cheat BUT my then bf (now dh) and I enjoyed the occasional spliff and had a dealer in a nearby flat, we got to know him, his friends and gf, he only dealt weed and was a bit of a geek so not too scary an aquantaince.

Anyway sat in our flat one night when there is a knock at the door, dealers gf and best friend come in saying they came to visit, we were a bit "erm ok" as we didn't know they knew where we lived, they proceeded to walk straight past us and shut themselves in the kitchen to 'talk'. 15 minutes later another knock on the door and dealer bf comes charging in saying we are "covering" for his mate/gf bursts into the kitchen where they are rearranging themselves after clearing having at it on my kitchen table Angry.

Two more "friends" come in girl on gf side boy on dealers side, geek fight ensues, police called, me and dh basically hide in living room until Jeremy Kyle crew are evicted and go on a spliff drought until we leave uni.

sophe29 · 09/04/2012 13:32

We used to have one of DH's uni friends as a part time lodger whilst he worked during the week. He was generally a good housemate and would often babysit for an hour or two whilst we went out to dinner etc.

Anyway, one night, we came home to see the lights on in our front room, no curtains drawn, and our friend sitting on the sofa watching telly. As we got closer, we realised he was also masturbating vigourously! Shock We live on quite a busy street, with lots of foot traffic, and have very wide bay windows, so basically EVERYONE who walked past could see EXACTLY what he was doing.

We hovered outside trying to decide what to do, and in the end let ourselves in rather noisily, to alert him to our arrival, to discover him watching Coronation street Hmm whilst hastily tucking himself away. And no, the remote control was no where near so he hadn't had time to change the channel!!!!

suburbophobe · 09/04/2012 14:00

I'm loving this thread!

Haven't read all the pages yet, but the wedding ones brought up a memory.

I used to have a friend (we drifted apart) who was getting married in a registry office.

Her dad was such a cheapskate that he refused to fork out for any kind of reception.

My friend had to go home after her wedding and cook for her family...Shock

KatieMiddleton · 09/04/2012 14:17

Dh, ds and I went to stay for one night at SIL's house. She lives in a huge conversion all on one level and the bedrooms are at one end of a U shape, the (beautiful) living room and kitchen in the middle and a playroom at the other. I should say we like SIL and her family enormously... but this visit was just odd.

When we arrived we were shown into the playroom. We all sat and made polite chit chat, SIL gave the children something to eat and eventually her dh wandered in and said he'd open some wine. SIL shot him daggers but he went off to get it and when he returned he poured us all a small glass and SIL announced it was DN's bedtime and we'd have dinner after she'd put DN down.

All fine and lovely so far if a little awkward because SIL's dh just got up and wandered off leaving us in the playroom. It got later and later... with only the screams of dn who did not want to go to bed to break the silence. Eventually it got dark - the lights didn't work, neither did the heating and neither SIL nor her husband were to be seen. He eventually turned up looking harassed and said SIL had gone to bed (it was about 8.30pm) but that he was going to serve up the dinner she had made about 2 an hour and a half earlier.

We were then served a bizarre and rather inedible dinner (with no more wine) punctuated only by the odd hissed instruction over the baby monitor to bring more milk or "Just come here" while DN continued to cry.

After dinner we were shown into the cold play room again, but this time SIL's dh went off to find a desk lamp to light it (we sat in the dark waiting for him to come back) where we were instructed to remain until DS was asleep because he might wake DN. That would be DN who was still screaming then Hmm

The following morning SIL said nothing other than she would have been around the previous evening if DS had not woken DN (WTF??!) and SIL's husband was nowhere to be found. We got out of there as soon as we could.

GinPalace · 09/04/2012 14:22

The bizarre things some people will convince themselves of to justify their own behaviour!

Lockdown · 09/04/2012 14:48

Stayed with someone who insisted that every item of rubbish be individually bagged in a clean plastic bag before being binned. Recycling all had to be hand washed. You get the gist.

marshmallowpies · 09/04/2012 15:06

Lockdown you've reminded me of a visit I paid to a uni friend's house: her mum had a really pristine house with no clutter or anything, and she didn't have a BIN in the kitchen as she thought they were unhygienic.

Any piece of rubbish, even just a tea bag, got put into a plastic supermarket bag & carried out to the dustbin in the garden. I can't bear to think what that one woman's contribution to plastic bags piling up in landfill was!