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what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

790 replies

2shoeskickedtheeasterbunny · 06/04/2012 23:25

mine was my DB, he did warn me but tbh I was so...... [bushock]
I was kind of 'oh ok"
he put old sheets on the floor to protect his carpet from...

dd's wheelchair wheels

guess where we won't be going again(this was after he insisted she was shoved in the corner of the table at a pub...just in case she got in the staff's way....WTF)

??? YOUR please

OP posts:
Maeb · 08/04/2012 14:13

ApocalypseCheeseToastie - we were having double glazing installed last year. by a bloke who looked like Steptoe. I went up the stairs and as I passed the bathroom I saw him standing peeing and he just turned around and smiled at me mid-wizz! Dirty f-fer!

ToriaPumpkin · 08/04/2012 14:16

Not nearly as impressive as some of these, but my aunt, who has four children aged 18 months to 13, a dog, two cats and keeps chickens and horses, never has soap or handtowels to be found anywhere in her house. She has three bathrooms, a kitchen sink and a utility room. Your only option is to use washing up liquid in the kitchen and either dry your hands on your clothes, use the teatowel or use kitchen roll.

When my mother commented on it she said "Yeah, we never seem to have soap in the house."

Garliccheesechips · 08/04/2012 14:36

[bushock] at ascec.

GinPalace - the worst thing is that my friend is a lovely, hard working, good looking man who would be considered a great catch. I don't think he realises he's shacked up with Lucifer.. Shall I tell him and then set him up with you? [bugrin]

This thread is brilliant. Keep em coming.

Riddzy · 08/04/2012 14:36

Garlicbunny - you have described the end of Evelyn Waugh's A Handful of Dust - have you ever read it?

Undertone · 08/04/2012 14:38

When 16 I went to stay with my dad's sister's husband's sister and her husband to do a week of work experience in said husband's small graphic design studio in the middle of the Yorkshire Moors. They lived in a tiny stone cottage on a bleak hillside.

I had never met the couple before, and they were very quiet and a bit peculiar. They were late 40s and childless, so the sudden arrival of a grumpy 16 year old girl into their lives round-the-clock probably threw them a bit. I remember the first evening about 9pm just sitting silently with them in their front room listening to the clock tick... and my eyes wandering around the room in desperation for anything to distract me... until with a start I saw on the mantlepiece that they had hung by its elastic a cheap plastic mask of a goat. Almost exactly like this one: www.starcostumes.com/lgimages/F61369.jpg

No explanation why it was there.

That was a looooong week.

garlicbunny · 08/04/2012 14:40

Riddzy - No [bushock] I'll get it!

Cremeeggsandkitkatsoldiers · 08/04/2012 14:45

not told me when I ran out of toilet paper, I had about 3 rolls in there but they used it all - no problem I don't judge what other people do to their bums, BUT they were working together to smuggle napkins from the kitchen into the toilet for each other, it was the weirdest behaviour ever! .. rather than just asking had I any more (I did, in a cupboard).

Another one gave me a vicious hamster in a biscuit tin as a "thank you for having me stay" present?? (after out staying by about a week)

GinPalace · 08/04/2012 14:49

Garliccheesechips sadly I am married don't think I would be exciting enough for him, he clearly needs something higher octane than me!!! [bugrin]

garlicbunny · 08/04/2012 14:56

a vicious hamster in a biscuit tin

Should be available on iwantoneofthose.com [bugrin]

Cremeeggsandkitkatsoldiers · 08/04/2012 15:01

since we're doing other people's houses too..

stayed at the parent's of the brides's house before a wedding, they had a few spare rooms so were putting up a few people. I was there longest so generally heping out cause they were shite hosts

One newlywed couple had a room for a few days, then they went off somewhere else for a night, so I went to get the sheets off their bed before the sister of the groom arrived to occupy that room..

was laughed at by the family, apparently they don't change guest sheets.... EVER!!!

Cremeeggsandkitkatsoldiers · 08/04/2012 15:02

oh and I was ordered to put them back on the bed, even though I'ld already got as far as the washing machine and there was an airing cupboard full of clean sheets

Maeb · 08/04/2012 15:04

The first time I met FIL, I was standing up one minute and the next I was on his back - he'd given me a fireman's lift and was proceeding to walk around with me on one shoulder and his granddaughter on the other. I didn't wriggle as I thought that's probably what he want's. All I remember is seeing DHs upside down face looking acutely embarrassed!

Cremeeggsandkitkatsoldiers · 08/04/2012 15:05

garlic we didn't have a cage or bedding or food or anything for it, didn't know a thing about hamsters! took it as we were so glad of a leaving present because it meant that the woman would finally LEAVE!

not sure if it had lived in the room she was staying in all the time she was there with us in it's tin Sad) or if she had found it, stolen it from a neighbour, or bought it specially for us or what???

the thing lived for YEARS too!!

allthequeensmen · 08/04/2012 15:08

When I was about 12 my parents reluctantly let me stay over at a school friend's house. They were known for being a rough family but it was a single Mum with four daughters around my age, so from my point of view it was a very girly fun environment and I was really pleased to be having a sleepover.

Anyway it got to about midnight on a red hot summer's night, us girls were all sharing the attic room wearing little cotton nighties, sweating half to death when a drunk but pleasant man comes wandering in to the bedroom. He asks how we all are, what we're up to etc then leaves the room. I asked the girls who he was and they just shrugged, they didn't know.

I thought it was very odd but then got on with out night and thought no more of it. I then lost contact with this family over the following years..

I found out just a fortnight ago that the Mother was working as a prostitute at the time and that her 'clients' would regularly just roll up at pub kicking out time [bushock]

Feel really sad for that family actually, they had a really dysfunctional history.

GinPalace · 08/04/2012 15:09

Cremeeggs good grief you've had a colourful life! [bugrin]

everlong · 08/04/2012 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/04/2012 15:23

your screen will end up covered in that tea, everlong Grin

Maeb · 08/04/2012 15:24

I have just remembered the best story ever!

I had a lovely boyfriend when I was 17. One summers day we had a waterfight and needed to dry off. In the family bathroom all the towels were on hooks. There were 5 hooks, 4 with a bath towel, presumably one for each of the family and and on the 5th a smaller hand towel. I went to grab the hand towel when Tim shouted "Nooo, not the bum towel!" Yes, my friends, they had a bum towel....

WTF is a bum towel?

JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/04/2012 15:26

Was it a bum towel that they all used? Confused

ick ick ick ick ick

everlong · 08/04/2012 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maeb · 08/04/2012 15:31

I know the more you think about the bum towel the worse it seems!

GinPalace · 08/04/2012 15:31

Maeb you pick some boys with rum families don't you? [bugrin]

Maeb · 08/04/2012 15:32

jareth - maybe they each had an allocated corner of bum towel...even now it makes me shudder [bushock]

OlaRapaceFru · 08/04/2012 15:33

OMG, a 'bum towel' is enough to make you in the first place, but the thought of sharing one ...

Pandemoniaa · 08/04/2012 15:35

I've got three examples that shine out - have mentioned one of them before but is worth re-telling.

When DP was married to his ex-w they (and their 3 dcs) went to stay with her brother and his wife and 3 dcs for Christmas. They'd driven some 300 miles to do so, arrived on Christmas Eve and all had a thoroughly pleasant evening. On Christmas Morning, dp's then SIL got up, made herself a breakfast tray and took it back to bed from where she announced she was "thoroughly bored with Christmas" and would not be coming downstairs again until Boxing Day.

Unfortunately, her boredom with Christmas had clearly emerged a few days earlier since it was discovered that the cupboard was surprisingly bare. As a result, DP and his then BIL spent the rest of the morning visiting such local cornershops as were open to put together a rather unique Christmas dinner. On Boxing Day, SIL re-emerged and behaved as if nothing had happened.

The second tale concerns a former boyfriend whose parents we went to lunch with. Rather to my surprise (given that his mother was obsessional about housework) their budgie was allowed to fly free during lunch and made several not very stealthy bombing raids on our dinner plates. It finally nested on top of my head (I have to admit that I am not wonderful with birds) and when I asked (very calmly) my boyfriend if he could perhaps remove the budgie, his mother said "Poor Joey, does nasty Pandemoniaa not want to share her dinner nicely with you?"

And finally, in the days before we had any dcs, we were invited to tea with a friend whose parents lived 200 miles away and who he (a teacher) was spending his holiday with. We (me, ex-h and 2 mutual friends) were en route to a boating holiday and teacher friend (tf) insisted we pop in for tea. He kept assuring us that his mother's teas were "famously lavish" and that the table would be "groaning with lovely home made cakes". So insistent was he that it seemed impolite to refuse.

Except that when we turned up (as pre-arranged!) she gave us an extremely baleful look and reluctantly admitted us to her pristine front room. We were told which chairs we were allowed to sit on - "not, there, that's Daddy's Chair!" and with a suspicious glance, she returned to the kitchen having summoned tf in with her. We were then treated to an argument about Eccles cake "they are to have half each or I'll have to bake another batch" and that we were not to be given butter in the sandwiches or "they'll eat them all". On being allowed into the, equally pristine, dining room we were presented with a beautifully laid table that contained very very little in the way of food. Most of it might as well have borne little "Keep Off" labels. Conscious of Ecclescakegate all but one of us treated them as if they'd been laced with anthrax. However, (tf) pressed us to "dig in". So one of us did and praised their deliciousness. Worse, he went back for a second! TF's mother then turned to him and said "Presumably you've got Southern manners. Do you eat like a pig at home too?"

We made our excuses fairly shortly after that and left. "Have an Eccles cake" remained a cue for hilarious laughter for many years afterwards.

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