Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Why the Friggity Frig <GLARES> didn't anyone, not one of you, think

753 replies

Honeydragon · 27/02/2012 12:22

to tell me what a piece of piss Chicken and Sweetcorn soup is to make! It takes 5 minutes and costs fuck all. I have being buying this stuff you know? With ACTUAL money.

One idle google and 10 minutes later dd and I have a pan full for lunch, it's lovely.

It was bad enough finding out about cleaning washing machines, and Veet to unclog hairy plug holes.... and now you failed to tell me this Angry

Well you horrible lot, what else have you being holding out on, and keeping from me?????

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 27/02/2012 17:36

fuzzpig I think that ship sailed once Viv decided Squares were a potato and people put Tortoises in fridges

OP posts:
ViviPru · 27/02/2012 17:37

Can someone hurry up and assure us that the tortoises like it please?

fabwoman · 27/02/2012 17:37

1/2 a cut onion absorbes the smell of paint.

Honeydragon · 27/02/2012 17:38

Oooooh I do have another one.

To remove raw plugs put a screw in and the unscrew and out pop both leaving a nice neat fillable hole

OP posts:
ViviPru · 27/02/2012 17:39

erm.. Am I putting a pot of paint in my fridge now? Or a cutted up onion in my paint Confused

I think I need a lie down.

Honeydragon · 27/02/2012 17:41

do not cut with knife????????

OP posts:
fabwoman · 27/02/2012 17:41

The recent exceptionally warm weather experienced this autumn in the UK, with record-breaking temperatures all over the country, has caused many tortoise keepers serious concern, as animals that would normally already be in hibernation are active and continuing to feed, or are in a ?mid-way? condition, neither hibernating nor feeding. Such a state, if maintained over a long period, can result in a steady loss of weight, to the point where should it (finally) turn cold enough to induce hibernation, they may no longer of sufficient weight to survive.

There are a number of scenarios keepers need to consider:

  1. Tortoise feeding and delayed hibernation

If the tortoise is still feeding, it is vitally important that even if the weather changes and becomes cold enough for hibernation (50 F or 10 C) a period of fasting (non-feeding) MUST occur before the tortoise is placed in hibernation. The exact timescale required will depend upon several factors:
?The size of the tortoise (large animals require more fasting time than small animals)
?Ambient temperature (higher temperatures accelerate digestive function, lower temperatures slow the time taken to digest food in the upper digestive tract)

There is no ?absolute? timescale for this, but as a general guide only, at 65 degrees F or approximately 15 degrees C a medium sized tortoise will need about 3 weeks fasting time before it is safe to place it in hibernation. A small tortoise may require as little as 2 weeks at the same temperature, a larger animal may need as much as a month.

PLACING A TORTOISE FROM A WARM ENVIRONMENT WHERE IT HAS BEEN FEEDING STRAIGHT INTO AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE TEMPERATURES ARE 10 DEGREES C, or 50 DEGREES F. IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND MAY RESULT IN DEATH.

A suitable fasting period at ?intermediate? temperatures is therefore vital. See ?Safer Hibernation & Your Tortoise? for full details.

  1. The house is too warm ? the shed is too cold!

This is a common problem. The only viable answer in such cases is to resort to the refrigerator hibernation. This is not as scary as it sounds! With correct set-up it is a very safe and effective method, and completely overcomes the (serious) problem of fluctuating temperatures. We have some excellent articles describing how to achieve this in our online library.

Q&A

My tortoise has always hibernated in a box in the attic, but this year keeps waking up. What can I do?

The attic is clearly too warm. In this case, I would recommend refrigerator hibernation.

Will it be a shock for my tortoise to suddenly change to a new method of hibernation?

No. Not at all. If the temperature is correct, it will hibernate perfectly safely.

They are predicting a warm autumn and then a very cold January. How might this affect hibernation?

This is a very dangerous combination. Animals may have lost significant weight prior to temperatures finally falling, and any severe freeze-up poses major risk of frost damage occurring. Monitor temperatures carefully (daily) and check weight regularly. Use the Jackson Ratio chart and measure carefully. In times of extreme low temperature move the tortoise to a safe (above freezing) environment as a matter of urgency. Even a few hours of sub-zero exposure can result in blindness or death.

Is moving a tortoise in hibernation dangerous?

No. It causes no problems whatsoever.

What if I cannot arrange for a ?fridge and my house or garage is still too warm?

The only safe option is to OVERWINTER, meaning keeping the tortoise awake and feeding throughout the winter period. To do this you must provide adequate light and heat.

Can I hibernate my tortoise in my kitchen ?fridge?

Not if you intend to use it for food at the same time. You should not mix animals and foodstuffs due to the potential for transmitting disease.

Would one of those small ?drinks refrigerators? be OK?

Some work, some don?t. Unfortunately, without testing them for temperature stability it is impossible to say. On the whole, a larger food-grade refrigerator will tend to give best overall temperature stability and accuracy.

fabwoman · 27/02/2012 17:42

PLACING A TORTOISE FROM A WARM ENVIRONMENT WHERE IT HAS BEEN FEEDING STRAIGHT INTO AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE TEMPERATURES ARE 10 DEGREES C, or 50 DEGREES F. IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND MAY RESULT IN DEATH.

Just incase anyone plans to do it.

ViviPru · 27/02/2012 17:43

Jesus, this thread has taken a sinister turn Sad

fabwoman · 27/02/2012 17:43

Don't put paint in your fridge!

I have a book that tells me everything about everything is anyone really need to know something.

lazydog · 27/02/2012 17:45

LOL! Sorry - phone rang - didn't mean to cause panic! Grin

A fridge (as long as you have an alarm and/or cut-out to ensure that the temperature doesn't drop too low) is the absolute safest way to hibernate tortoises (assuming that they're of a type that would hibernate in the wild.)

For a tortoise to not lose weight and vital fat reserves during their hibernation they should be kept as close to 5C as possible so a fridge (with an air pump running from the outside, or just with the door seal slightly broken) is ideal!

tantrumsandballoons · 27/02/2012 17:46

Wow, I was joking about fridge full of tortoises lol
Vivi, put the paint in the fridge and the onion next to it and the fridge won't smell of paint.....oh hold it, it doesn't smell of paint does it?
Well you might as well add it to the infamous art installation anyway

tantrumsandballoons · 27/02/2012 17:48

Honeydragon, no not wrong for judging the blossom hill, it has to be champagne in with the tortoises, I thought everyone knew that :)

Honeydragon · 27/02/2012 17:49

Oh thank heavens - I thought I'd have to deregister if it turned out Mnet was full of Tortoise killers. Sad

Fab.....whilst I am wholly willing to give most things suggested on here a go I think I can certainly speak for myself and everyone else that Tortoise refrigeration will not be one of these things.

OP posts:
lazydog · 27/02/2012 17:49

ViviPru - I don't imagine they like or dislike it as they are completely unaware or their surroundings when they are hibernating.

What Fabwoman said - you should NEVER hibernate a tortoise (regardless of what method you use) with any undigested food in their gut - that's tortoise keeping common knowledge.

stealthsquiggle · 27/02/2012 17:53

I am imagining tortoises waking up in the spring and wondering why they were dreaming of white places full of champagne.

I have no desire to have a tortoise. Ever. I have a friend who has leopard tortoises (an ever increasing number of them, having started with 2, IYSWIM) and they sound like hard work (not least because they don't hibernate, in fridges or otherwise). I am determinedly not showing DS the pictures of cute baby tortoises because he would not take any notice of the fact that they live for ever and grow to be bloody enormous.

tantrumsandballoons · 27/02/2012 17:54

I don't even have a tortoise and I'm finding it all fascinating :)
Maybe I will now go and get tortoise

(remembers I have 3 children, a job, and 9 million cleaning things I never knew I had to do, then thinks of keeping tortoise in fridge and whether children would try and eat it and decides no tortoise, but I know how to hibernate them if it was to walk into my garden:))

ViviPru · 27/02/2012 17:55

May as well add one to me' installation

tantrumsandballoons · 27/02/2012 17:56

Might get rid of fish smell vivi?
The tortoise smell would prob. overpower the fish?

Honeydragon · 27/02/2012 17:56
OP posts:
lazydog · 27/02/2012 17:59

stealthsquiggle "...(an ever increasing number of them, having started with 2, IYSWIM)..."

Oh do I ever... I have 7 at the moment but when I was fostering for the Tortoise Trust, the most I had at one time was 13!

"...and they sound like hard work..."

Much harder work than most people would realise because the hard work is involved in looking after them properly. If you're of an age to have seen the tortoises they kept on Blue Peter, they'd have you believe that they look after themselves :(

ViviPru · 27/02/2012 18:00
BokkleofSterra · 27/02/2012 18:04

ViviPru cat litter on a tray for a stinky fridge. Smile

stealthsquiggle · 27/02/2012 18:16

lazydog - they have both the people-knowing-that-they-are-suckers-for-a-homeless-tortoise problem and the girl-tortoise-meets-boy-tortoise-and-gets-busy problem Grin

lazydog · 27/02/2012 18:26

stealthsquiggle - Ditto! Grin

As an aside - I just looked at that "jokey" pic of the tortoises in the fridge and that's horrible :( Just in case anyone's interested, that is not what I meant... For starters, they all go in individual boxes, not directly on the shelves with their legs hanging through. If nothing else, it's vital to be able to tell which, if any, have urinated, as if they have done they need waking immediately and overwintering instead. They do not get shoved in the door compartments, or in with any food. You never mix species in the irresponsible fashion that they have for the sake of that photo (risk of disease transmission between the species, since some have evolved to carry pathogens with no symptoms that other tortoise species have no resistance to at all) and I can't ID them all from that photo, but I do know that the ones on the bottom/glass shelf don't even hibernate!!! :(

Swipe left for the next trending thread