What stupid things have you believed/said/assumed before finding out to your embarrassment you were wrong?

[CookieRookie]

Could do with a laugh today

Here's mine...

1 - I thought a filet mignon was something presented on fire, you know with brandy or something...a flamin yon

2 - I thought rollmops where called roll 'em ups because they're rolled up but I was kind of right with that one.

Not hilarious, though dh did laugh at me til he was nearly sick, but I'm hoping some of you have much better, more embarrassing ones.

I'm another one who never connected people saying "all be it" with the word "albeit" and saying al-bay until last year. I'm 42 and absolutely cringing about it still 3 years later.

Until I moved to a German speaking country I thought Gesundheit was Japanese for "bless you"

My friend told me in all honesty after the Beckhams/champagne bottle rumour that the latest craze in Hollywood was "nasal sex". I totally believed him, but had no idea how you'd actually do it.

Same friend told me that all military personnel on exercise have to only use one piece of tracing paper to wipe their backsides. Fold it and tear the qtr piece, put your finger through the whole etc. My husband was in the army 24 years and wet himself when I asked if he had to he wet himself.

1 year later, not 3. Doh!

Our local park is known to all and sundry as "The Rec" as in recreation ground. Several years ago DS1 had a friend from another village over to play, and I asked the dad if he was ok with the boys going to the rec together unsupervised (they were about 9 at the time). He ummed and ahhed for a bit and then said he wouldn't really be happy with that as his son wasn't a strong swimmer!!! Apart from anything else, we live about 50 miles from the sea.....

When I was young and innocent I thought when you had sex the man inserted his penis and then just sort of lay there not moving for a while. Twas quite a shock to find out there was a motion involved.

Wally - just for you

What's nasal sex?

Fuck nose.

When i was 15/16 and doing a G.C.S.E in history, and the history teacher was always talking about the troops in the war.

I always thought troops were fences that went round the trenches.

At no point in any of my history lessons did the teacher say that troops were men!!!

No wonder i got a G grade in that subject

In the city I used to live in, there is a "gentlemans club" called ST1. Now the name is not very fetching for obvious reasons but I had friends who genuinely believed it was a play on STI's (why they think people would call a stip club STI, I don't know) It was, in fact, the first part of the post code. The owners obviously didn't think it through! Epic fail on both sides!

Until I moved to England, when I heard on the irish news about people fighting 'in the north', I had an image in my head of people shooting from behind igloos.
My dp thinks children inherit their genes from the dominant parent - I've told him I'll be taking the science homework duties when it's time.
A friend told me peanuts were a type of fungus.
Another told me that you can't pour a bucket of water down the toilet, cos the toilet out pipe doesn't open up unless you flush using the handle.

My friend always said 'mummycuddled' for mollycoddled.

When I told her what it was she said it didn't make any sense that way so she carries on saying it her way :)

I was at university and said I wanted my hot chocolate with no throff. Everyone fell about laughing and even now (10 years later) I avoid saying froth as I still mix it up in the mind.
I recently discovered I have my dad to blame for this, and he can't hear the difference between the words!

Also only learnt that the expression is not 'as dull as dishwater' a couple of years ago...,,think this is better than the real expression though.

My sister told me if you cried for too long you could get dehydrated...I believed it for YEARS! She obviously wanted me to stop crying one time she'd done something mean to me.

Nicknamefail, my dad's the same. We also have to be careful to lock all the doors in case of 'fieths'

I thought ponies were baby horses and that they'd grow up to be proper horses.

I found out last year the truth. I'm 30.

My dad used to think that the way a baby ate in the womb was just opening it's mouth and catching the food that dropped down that my mother would eat.
He also asked why scuba divers couldn't just take a hose down to breath through instead of all these air tanks etc....
I have a childhood friend who asked why my newborn didn't smile much in pictures...he thought they came out able to smile on command.
My DH thinks if you have freckles you are born with them.
Another childhood friend asked why i keep cutting DD's hair so short (she is nearly 2 but is a baldy).

I thought the song band of gold was by a band called 'free the pain'

and I thought the sayings were:

'that's put the knockers on it' ( mockers )
and '...like a damp squid' ( squib )
both of these were my mums fault, obviously from a really intelligent family

MrsGrowbag, I remember getting worried when my best friend announced we were going to the rec for a while before tea, because I didn't have my swimming costume. I was very relieved to be led into a large empty field to play, rather than the recreation centre I was expecting.

Crocodilehunter, I'm sure you'll never see this, but 'stave' is correct. Stave is an old word for staff (or cudgel), and can be a verb as well, meaning to break or crush. Stove should be the past tense.

www.thefreedictionary.com/stave

Jaywalking is when you cross the street in a random place, not at a designated crosswalk or at the corner. It's one of these ancient laws that are on the books and used (by the police) to catch people on a slow day, like spitting on the sidewalk, etc.

I know this is an old thread, but my sister-in-law's sister thought oral sex was just talking about it

My DH fully believes that werewolves and vampires exist....

He won't listen to me when I say its all rubbish...he also thinks dragons were are real...I only wish I was joking...let's hope our children get their intelligence from me and not him or they are going to seriously embarrass themselves when they're older!

Well, this isn't quite the same but I will never forget the time when I had my first proper date with DH.

I told him that I had met the Pope, he asked me where and I replied with "Outside Asda" he looked at me for ages then started questioning me and I swore blind I met the Pope outside Asda when I went for some celebration that we were invited to with my quit smoking group.

It took me ages to remember I was getting the Pope mixed up with the Lord Mayor He never lets me live that down.

It's my fault really but my ds is nearly two and not speaking much yet so he uses some makatin signs he's picked up from mr tumble, today he heard the icecream van coming got giddy and when he heard the music start signed "all gone" looked dissapointed and walked off.
I was joking a while ago that when they play the music they've run out, damn you Jason manford!
I suppose it'll be cheaper in the long run lol

When I was a little kid I pronounced 'souvenir' as 'sovven year'. I was told that wasn't how you said it so I called it 'sou-ven-year'. Took a while to get it correct afterwards. I also thought 'washing line' was 'wash me lion' and a 'lounger' was a 'lunjer'. 'Gloves' were 'glubs'

I asked my dad how electric windows worked in the car and he told me there was a cable under the road which sent power through the tyres. I believed him for a while.

A friend of mine worked in a superstore with me. She told me that someone had asked where the 'elbow grease' was and she couldn't find it... she later realised she'd been had. On the same night she was asked where the 'sugar free sweets' were and she said 'hah! very funny!' to the presumably surprised customer.

BudgieGirlBob the change from black and white to colour in The Wizard of Oz is to show the contrast from boring regular Kansas where Dorothy lived (black & white) to the magical wonderful world of Oz (colour).
When she eventually wakes up from her dream/unconsciousness/returns from Oz, the film reverts back to black and white as she is back in Kansas.