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to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
largewhizzingrocketandtonic · 03/11/2010 16:31

Oh i can't wait for this.

Good luck OP.

Lurpak · 03/11/2010 16:46

Having just seen and read through this whole thread I'm dissapointed that we're not at the 'reciprocating meal' yet... oh well, will have to wait impatiently for the next installment!! Can't wait!

olderandwider · 03/11/2010 16:47

I think the evening should have a theme.

Spam comes to mind.

Starter - Spam animal shapes.

Main course - Spam fritters and pineapple rings.

Spam trifle.

Hmmm. What to wear.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=ny-image2.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.130411542.jpg&imgrefurl=www.etsy.com/listing/42749533/70s-his-n-hers-sweater-dress-mini&h=694&w=514&sz=95&tbnid=ZYdG5B5MOFsEdM:&tbnh=139&tbnw=103&prev=/images%3Fq%3D70s%2B%2Bknitting%2Bpattern%2Bpictures&zoom=1&q=70s++knitting+pattern+pictures&hl=en&usg=__VoXFP1JlhupSfOMpcJK_nqfS6b4=&sa=X&ei=l5HRTMzKKIWG5AbQ3MyXDA&ved=0CCYQ9QEwAQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Perfect

terryble · 03/11/2010 16:50

I always used to want us to get pampas grass planted in our garden when I was a child, and my mother always said no.

Now I think I have an insight into why...

FunkyCherry · 03/11/2010 16:58

PolarBear I'd love to come.

OAW I'd quite like that dress if it was black Blush

terryble I always wanted pampas grass too - Ooops.

Cicatrice · 03/11/2010 17:01

I'm ridiculously glad to hear this, considering I don't know any of you. Well done!

bumpybecky · 03/11/2010 17:14

I am so glad to see this thread back again :) can't wait for the next instalment

and Grin to turps for the tomboloa!

GregoryPeck · 03/11/2010 17:39

Hahaha! I served toad in the hole and mash at a dinner party once though, so I can't talk. Looking forward to further instalments!

WannabeNigella · 03/11/2010 18:00

Never mind "bottom pinching" make sure they don't chuck their keys into the bowl in the middle of the table Wink

SlightlyJaded · 03/11/2010 18:30

Oh Stealth I am delighted that you will be hosting parallel dinner but am now I am worried that I am going to under-deliver. The expectation is clearly great...

I offered next Thurs or Fri and Mrs B is going to check with Mr B and let me know which is best. I will do my best to keep you all posted and up to date with menu and dress code etc.

Oh and I was very brave today and actually said to Mrs B "Oooh turps - I think that's a first" to which she replied "Oh, we've got heaps if you ever want a bottle"

See. Bonkers

OP posts:
MsKalo · 03/11/2010 19:03

If you do invite them to yr house please let 'us' know what happens! I love Heinz soup too but c'mon they could have made a bit more effort!

Jux · 03/11/2010 19:18

Perhaps you could find a good mixer for turps and serve a 'digestif'?

(If you get the wool I'll knit up those jumpers for you; Friday would give me more time, but I reckon I could get 'em done for Thurs if necessary.)

Sidge · 03/11/2010 20:09

I want a SlightlyJadedCam for that evening.

Could you conceal a hidden camcorder-type device about your person for the evening please SJ and stream it live for us all?

Thanks, much obliged.

Horton · 03/11/2010 20:43

YY to camcorder and live streaming. Please, I beg you.

TrinityTheTwattyRhino · 03/11/2010 20:46

I cant read the whole thread but the laughing would have made me assume they were stoned

Faaamily · 03/11/2010 20:49

How did I miss this thread?! Laughing my tits off!

Tidey · 03/11/2010 20:57

Weeping laughing at this, I love your prototype menu. May I humbly suggest prawn cocktail as a starter, with a few of the prawn still slightly frozen? It'll be a talking point, and a good opening for some nudge nudge wink wink jokes about the word 'cocktail'.

SlightlyJaded · 03/11/2010 22:49

Fucking Hell Dastardly have just clicked on your Jelly Salad link and that is truly mentalist food. I LOVE it

Not sure I'll get it past DH though. He has gone all 'the other way' on me and keeps telling me to stop making a thing about it and just cook what I'd do for any other mates. So I will probably end up bottling it but perhaps with some small, random bit of bonkers thrown in - a tower of Scotch Eggs Ferrero Rocher style in the middle of the table maybe...

I think i can do a reciprical (spelling?)pudding though - still slightly frozen black forrest gateau or arctic roll.

And I do PROMISE to wear a tiara and make copious notes of anything truly mad to report back. Oh and one of my RL friends has asked if I want to borrow her cuckoo clock to put on the wall for one night only. I think I might have to.

OP posts:
cryhavoc · 03/11/2010 23:02

I am shaking with laughter at "Oh, we've got heaps if you ever want a bottle". How utterly random.

I think you should become proper friends with these people. Seriously. Life can be so boring sometimes...I wish we had some bonkers friends to inject some madness into our lives.

onceamai · 03/11/2010 23:12

I think the staff had the night off.

ljgibbs · 03/11/2010 23:28

I think she will bring you a bottle of turps in place of a bottle of wine when they come round for dinner.Grin

FunkyCherry · 03/11/2010 23:49

OP - I'm starting to really feel for you, because I don't see how you can get through the night without sniggering to yourself....
...and then Mrs Bonkers will go home and start a MN thread about you!

I think laptop in the kitchen so you can post updates as the night goes on.

LittleMissHissingFirecracker · 03/11/2010 23:56

yeah, with PICS!!

LittleMissHissingFirecracker · 03/11/2010 23:58

My first bookmark... and somehow I think I chose the most deserving thread.

BonzoDooDah · 04/11/2010 00:04

Love the cuckoo clock in the kitchen! Have it set something random like an hour and 23 minutes fast too so everyone looks at it when it goes off.

Everyone needs bonkers and they sound like utter loons - marvelous!

Have you thought of serving fish fingers with smiley faces and jelly with icecream for pud?