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So, we're getting married, best ways to irritate all our guests here please

501 replies

Madascheese · 18/09/2010 06:02

Well DP pitched up with a very pretty bit of jewellery yesterday and proposed! How excited am I?

OP posts:
funkychunkymunky · 18/09/2010 23:16

Congratulations!

Panzee was it you that received the two squares of material? Did anyone figure out what they were for?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 18/09/2010 23:37

Ensure you are marrying someone 5 times friendlier than you are, then when he invites all his amiable friends and family, who have to travel a long way to get there, make sure you give them evil looks and refuse to make conversation with them - what do they want? Try to keep your acknowledgement down to a fierce glare at any woman who dares to stand near, hug or congratulate the groom, even if she is over 50/under 18 or has known him since birth.

Make sure that at least one member of your/DH's immediate family is roaring drunk/slightly mad, as their occasional cries of "dreadful" or "vile" throughout the wedding/speeches will really make help the day go smoothly.

While you are having the requisite 1000 photos taken of you and DH in simpering poses near a weeping willow, it is essential that your guests are kept well stocked with cheap wine BUT on no account allow them any food at all, not a morsel. This will ensure that nausea and drunkenness come into play at the earliest possible opportunity.

In fact, the longer you starve your guests for, the less likely they are to reject the odious morsels delicious repast that should be served stone cold. Try to avoid serving anything that would normally be fed to humans - consider a plate of bitter undressed leaves peppered with flaked unidentifiably fish bits, or - for the vegetarians - fragments of "blue cheese" that are manifestly just mould.

Don't forget that being visible and audible to your guests during the interminable speeches removes the mystery. Far better to hold the entire thing in an L-shaped room where at least half of your guests will be able to make their own entertainment by guessing what the lucky few who can see and hear you are laughing at.

Congratulations :)

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 18/09/2010 23:41

Oh no, forgot a couple of essentials:

  • DO go with tradition and have a greeting line. Everyone - but especially any tiny children in the wedding party - will really appreciate the chance to wear a fixed grin for hours and be forbidden from moving from the spot, while being forced to shake hands with a neverending succession of total strangers.

and

  • DO choose a first dance for yourself and DH that is at least 6 minutes long, and preferably as maudlin as possible. This will really get the party started with a bang.
NotAfraidOfTheBudget · 18/09/2010 23:45

dont forget to ensure your MIL/mum wears either white or funereal black :)

have the meal in a really large room and insist on no mic for any of the speeches...dont want the plebs at the back to hear them!

invite over 200 guests for a greek orthodox wedding in a teeny tiny chapel so only the lucky 20 get to sit down for the 90 min ceremony

Congrats!!

nobodysmama · 18/09/2010 23:51

Congratulations on your engagement! Wedding planning is such fun, be sure to tell all your friends and colleagues about every little detail.

If you ask a friend to take the photos because you're trying to save money, and she declines because she is, after all, not a professional photographer, do insist she does it anyway.

If you're thinking of getting your bridesmaid a special present to thank her, she'd love a pair of trainers with her name on them.

And MarineIguana, were we at the same wet, outdoor wedding?! Grin

Dione · 19/09/2010 00:17

Congratulations Mad.Grin

Hire a bunch of hookers and put one at each table. Tell them they'll get paid at the end of the night for each guest they service.

Lynli · 19/09/2010 01:05

When arranging your DDs wedding uninvite half your family to the wedding breakfast and let them spend six hours doing nothing.
Spend the money you saved taking the DW away for a week in Rome.

Spend other large amounts of money on a chocolate fountain, and a ceremony to release 20 doves and a heart shaped hot air balloon into the sky.

SolidGoldBrass · 19/09/2010 01:58

Have an alcohol free reception at which guests are all expected to get up and make a solemn and moving statement or read a poem they have written about how important marriage is and how special the bride and groom are. Those who can cope with writing and performing their own poems still have to listen to everyone else's.

theskiinggardener · 19/09/2010 06:01

Congratulations.

Do make sure that you pick an expensive hotel that you rave about, which then treats your guests like dirt. This can include refusing to bring the wedding cake in to the reception room for it to be cut, telling all the guests to stop standing on the lawn as they are ruining the view, putting all the guests in the antiquated hotel annex and then billing them all twice.

Lovely wedding that was.

Madascheese · 19/09/2010 07:24

Marvellous keep them coming, we are struggling to work out how we will fit all these into one day so are now considering a wedding weekend which will provide the added bonus of forcing everyone (who really cares to stay in the only accomodation around here which is B&B, it's getting better by the moment...

(Not really, but are now seriously considering Gretna Green!)

OP posts:
mummytime · 19/09/2010 07:57

Oh! Invite random people from your past (none of whom have seen each other for at least 10 years). Have no time to talk to any of them, make sure your family don't know any of them either, and arrange a venue where it is hard for the guests to mix.

Oh and ask the vicar to do his sermon on "Matrimony means the making of mothers" There is bound to be someone with fertility issues there.

TheProvincialLady · 19/09/2010 08:18

Oh just have it on Christmas Eve. I bet you look lovely in white fake fur and red velvet, and that's what's really important here isn't it?

mckenzie · 19/09/2010 08:36

and make sure you tell the best man's girl friend/wife/partner that you quite understand if she doesn't want to come to the wedding as best man will obviously be sitting on top table and she won't. Then when she says she quite understands that but would love to come anyway to celebrate your special day, don't put her anywhere on the seating plan and then on the day as everyone is about to sit down ask the waitress to squeeze her on to a small table already holding 4 people she has never met before rather than just adding one more place setting to the very large round table full of people she does know. Honestly, she wont mind.

vinchaud · 19/09/2010 09:42

Arrange wedding for when SIL's baby is due, make wedding venue 5 hours from SIL's home, tell her she's expected to come and that local hospital has good maternity unit.

Have marquee in garden and expect guests to fix the toilets when they break.

Be very late for ceremony when everyone has to stand up in hot room.

Have horse and carriage which everyone gets stuck behind for ages getting to reception (the breastfeeding mothers especially appreciate this).

Have 2 drinks receptions. An exclusive one for those in the know, one for the plebs.

Serve really raw beef which someone has to carve at the table in a novelty fashion, followed by a night of food poisoning.

Of course a long slow receiving line where nobody is allowed a drink until they are through.

Fenouille · 19/09/2010 10:00

Ah, yes, if as NotAfraidOfTheBudget suggests you do go for the tiny chapel that none of your friends who have come from all over Europe can fit into, please also make sure that the chapel's at the top of a cliff with no access for cars. Most importantly don't tell anyone about this arrangement or to bring sensible shoes for the hike that entails.

That wedding was lovely overall, but there were a few near misses of elderly relatives fainting and twisted ankles due to climbing over rocks in stilettos Shock

PS Why stop at a weekend? Make it a week long celebration of your lurve (with compulsory attendance for the whole seven days, preferably in an outrageously expensive hotel in the middle of nowhere) and then have massive fallings out with anyone who 'claims' they can't get all that time off work. As others have suggested, try to make this coincide with the fist week of term and as many guests' significant birthdays and anniversaries as you can. Refuse to acknowledge any of these with sulky cries of, "I'm the bride, you should all be celebrating my big day."

octopusinabox · 19/09/2010 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FakePlasticTrees · 19/09/2010 10:01

Allow your parents to invite a large number of people you haven't seen since your own christening, thus meaning there isn't room for the groom's uni housemates. Allow your parents to dictate all aspects of the wedding as "the bride's family are the hosts", but expect the groom to pick up the bill for al this. See no problem with him having to cash in shares at the bottom of the market in order to find the money for "your big day".

Arrange for your drinks reception to be outside, make no allowances for rain. Ideally, this should be in a large field so ladies in heels will start to sink in. Be annoyed that people have 'ugly' brollies.

For two months before the wedding, be on a very public wedding diet. Everyone needs to know about it. Take it as an insult when the groom's friends invite you for a BBQ as the food will be fattening and they are trying to make you look bad on your wedding day. Ideally, don't actually loose any weight so that all the guests spend the wedding day trying to work out if you have lost any weight or if you've picked an unflattering dress. When anyone tells you that you look beautiful, look at them like you're trying to work out if they are being sarcastic.

marantha · 19/09/2010 10:10

TessoftheBurbs I understand completely what you are saying about not inviting kids because of a weddding containing adult themes, but I did say if a person were to invite family and friends they should include the children.

In all honesty, if a person were to hold a truly off-the-wall wedding involving adult themes such as orgies and cocaine, I would very, very much doubt that any of their families (that would be totally sick in my opinion , whereas an orgy just involving friends would be live-and-let-live) would be invited to it, so I don't really see your point.

Truth is that most weddings follow much the same script- why else would we all be able to have a thread like this where we can all relate to what is being written?

FellatioNelson · 19/09/2010 10:23

As you are not religious, reject the traditional vows in favour of some sickeningly sentimental schmaltzy personalised vows that make all the guests want to disappear into their own coats with embarrassment.

anyabanya · 19/09/2010 10:41

Ask the best man to include this gem in his speech;

'remember the [bride's name] is like a frying pan. You have to warm her up before you stick the fat in'.

This actually happened at a wedding I went to. It did not go down at all well, really.

inthesticks · 19/09/2010 10:46

I do think that you need to give at least 2 years notice of proposed wedding. 3 months isn't nearly long enough for people to hear your detailed plans.
It's traditional to mention some minor aspect of the wedding plan at least every half hour to your friends and colleagues. They will be gripped by your dilemma over table decorations for a wedding that is to take place in 2012.

superdragonmama · 19/09/2010 10:59

Congratulations mad!

My suggestions to make your special day that bit more 'special'.

Invite several of your ex boyfriends, and make sure your father refers to them frequently in his 50 minute speech. These men are the 'ones who got away'. He must put extra emphasis on his favourite one, the one who really should be at your side today. Listen with joy as he berates you on your final choice of DH. Of course, he must make sure he doesn't mention the new groom once.

Have a distinctive dress code for all members of your family, and your friends, but forget to mention this to DH's family. Laugh merrily when DH's family arrive dressed differently to everyone else.

Do not be upset when chief bridesmaid has a quickie in the car park of the reception venue with your new DH. Your brothers/uncles/father will defend you with their fists. This will make your wedding very memorable. (Maybe you should have served some food with all that alcohol??)

Only arrange hotel accommodation for close friends, and leave out-of-town members of yours and DP's families to fend for themselves. After all, who is more important to you??

So many great suggestions on this thread!! You're going to have a WONDERFUL day Grin

superdragonmama · 19/09/2010 11:07

'remember the [bride's name] is like a frying pan. You have to warm her up before you stick the fat in'.

Nooooooo!!!!! ShockShockShockShock

ROFL GrinGrin

marantha · 19/09/2010 11:08

If anyone does know of any adult-themed weddings on the horizon involving orgies and vats of cocaine please, please say so here.

I would like to help the bride in any way I can in preparation for the 'big day' and devote my every waking hour to her wedding preparations. I am willing to be interrupted at work, at 3am- whenever. I don't mind at all.

Not that I'd want an invite or anything like that. Oh no, certainly not, I am totally selfless. Smile

TessOfTheBurbs · 19/09/2010 11:12

Oh marantha... I was obviously kidding about the coke-fuelled orgy. The point is, the couple don't have to justify why they might have deviated from the identikit white-wedding script that you think everyone getting married in church should adhere too. There are wedding pitfalls that we should all aim to steer clear of, as detailed in this thread, but that doesn't mean we have to choose between either the registry office in jeans with two local tramps for witnesses, or a floor-length white dress and veil in church with all the village children skipping about with garlands of flowers atop their cherubic heads, and the bride having to change her surname.

I do think it's nice to see children at wedings, and more considerate to the parents to invite children, but
a) nice is subjective, and
b) considerate - means consideration towards guests is the issue, not doing it because it's part of the church wedding package that you've supposedly signed up for.