Fawcett Commission on Gender Stereotypes in Early Childhood: let MNHQ know what you think

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

As some of you have spotted, our founder Justine is one of the commissioners for the recently announced Fawcett Commission on Gender Stereotypes in Early Childhood.

We at MNHQ are pleased to be on the panel: over the years Mumsnet users have spoken a lot about how gender stereotypes affect children (and indeed adults), leading to independent campaigns such as Let Toys Be Toys and Mumsnet campaigns such as Let Girls Be Girls. This feels like an opportunity to dig deeper into the issues and hopefully contribute to some policy recommendations that will change the way we (as a society) approach gender expectations for children.

For more info on the Commission from Fawcett's Chief Exec Sam Smethers (including her thoughts on why the commission is concentrating on gender rather than sex) take a look at her recent guest post and discussion.

In advance of the Commission's first meeting, we'd love to have your thoughts on the following:

this outline of 'Eight Things You Need to Know About Sex, Gender, Brains, and Behavior' (co-authored by Prof Gina Rippon who will be presenting to the panel);

the Commission's literature review; and

the Commission's call for evidence.

Look forward to hearing what you think - the meeting is on Tuesday 21 May, so please let us have your thoughts before then.

Thanks
MNHQ

Anyway, shall we get back to how stereotypes affect children?

The Phoebe Waller-Bridge article in today’s Sunday Times is a good example of a lucky escape.

As a child she wanted the comfort & freedom that boys had so she identified as one, but changed her mind when she was ready to. She recognises that today, the more rigid take on stereotypes would have meant she’d have been diagnosed as transgender. Which would have very probably led to puberty blockers & all that goes with them. www.thetimes.co.uk/article/fleabag-star-i-wanted-to-be-a-boy-26tmzpqxs?shareToken=f142f5bbbafd38c3bdd1ad89975c80e5

My DD was a failing to thrive baby. Sh had virtually no social interaction until the age of two, apart from her older brother and some male cousins.

As a result she had a number of physical and developmental lags, and, when she eventually got there, found other children at nursery/playgroup very confusing.

No gendered toys, not gendered clothes - there was not enough energy to play, nor to dress her in anything but grubby hand me down babygrows. (Elasticated waists were ruled out because of her illness.) At the age of two she announced she was a boy. My guess is that her brother was a boy, and her role model.

She kept this up till the age of 8/9. I think the grandparents found it slightly confusing, but we just let her be. Teachers, and other parents and children were accepting, and she went to boys parties and playing in the school football team. Most mums said they were happy that their sons were friends with a girl, bar one who was almost the exception who proved the role who clearly thought I was failing as a parent by not forcing my DD into a gender stereotype.

By 9, the other girls had stopped wearing pink and had changed into jeans, and my daughter found her group of straight-forward, academic, sporty, girls. I don't know if it is a s a result of her early socialisation but DD is very comfortable in mixed friendship groups and has maintained good friendships with both boys and girls.

My concern is that all of this would be much harder today. Rather than let me just parent according to my instincts, well-meaning people would leap in and press me to seek some sort of "diagnosis". It feels as if awareness of gender in young children is heightened, and that gender non-conformity is not simply a child being quirky, as small children are, but some sort of physical thing. A boy brain or something, caused perhaps by too many hormones during pregnancy or similar cod-science.

My daughter was fine as she was, being who she was. The all important thing, especially given her difficult start, was that she was thriving. I think today, both she and I would be much more anxious, as we would have to deal a society judgement on her gender-non conformity. I feel for parents today.

My concern is that all of this would be much harder today. Rather than let me just parent according to my instincts, well-meaning people would leap in and press me to seek some sort of "diagnosis". It feels as if awareness of gender in young children is heightened, and that gender non-conformity is not simply a child being quirky, as small children are, but some sort of physical thing. A boy brain or something, caused perhaps by too many hormones during pregnancy or similar cod-science.

Yes, I agree. Natural variance is being compressed and compressed instead of celebrated. There's nothing wrong with being a slightly unusual person, gendered or otherwise - in fact, it's a positive. Being away from the mean isn't necessarily clinical, for heavens sakes.

Why the supposed left can't recognise an ultra-capitalist push in all this is quite beyond my ken. We don't need to categorise everyone according to a profit-friendly market segment.

I hope I'm not too late for this.

I was extremely encouraged to see that Gina Rippon was on the panel and I think she has some extremely important points to make and add to this discussion.

I've been able to read a lot of her book the gendered brain and I think this is an extremely important book for consideration of how stereotypes impact children in a wide variety of ways from even before birth.

She makes excellent distinctions between sex differences and how gendered environments affect behavioural expression and preferences (gender.)

If this was 'got right' in the early years - absolutely across all disciplines - no child would ever feel they were not in the 'right body'. Their bodies would be their bodies and their personality would be their personality and accepted.

But the FS, and many other organisations, would have to be brave enough to recognise this truth.

Cross post need; absolutely, your and your DDs experience is exactly what I mean.

And it's all stereotypes too.

There's particular stereotypes for example with autism which I believe are now being dragged into the trans trend in order to make 'being autistic' more acceptable.

I think EYFS need to have training around how damaging gender stereotyping is for children. It needs to be a core part of their training. My children starting regurgutating a load of old guff the moment they went to nursery/pre-school - only men can do X, such and such is only for girls, etc.

This is despite the fact that I'm raising them alone and they have seen me doing everything - all the driving, decorating, drilling, flat pack assembly, cake baking, costume making, gardening, etc.

It needs to become as culturally unacceptable to trot out sexist tropes as it is racist ones if we're to have any hope of destroying the roots. They're like dandelions - snapping off the top doesn't make them go away.