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MNHQ

Want to buy a gift for women and families in a refuge this Christmas?

103 replies

RowanMumsnet · 14/12/2015 16:28

Hello [santa]

As lots of you know, each year Refuge sets up a special gift list at John Lewis to provide gifts for women and children in their shelters.

If you fancy buying something off the list, here's the link.

And here's what Refuge have to say about it:

"As you may know, every year Refuge runs a Christmas appeal to collect presents for the women and children in our services, to make Christmas as special as possible for the women and children we support who are fleeing domestic violence. We try to ensure that everyone we're supporting gets around 2-3 gifts."

"The majority of women often flee their abusive partner in the middle of the night, too afraid to risk collecting their belongings. Many women arrive with little more than the clothes they and their children are wearing."

Here's the link again

Thanks all

OP posts:
Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2015 09:43

But yes they are gifts and there are other links to donate for essentials.

That's me told maiden.

mouldycheesefan · 17/12/2015 09:49

Our school had a collection of gifts at the carol service for the refuge. That is 700 gifts. Plus shoeboxes and plus John Lewis gift list I just wonder if they really want all this stuff it seems an enormous amount God knows where they have room to store it all. I am sure a lot of it must go unused.

lifesalongsong · 17/12/2015 10:01

But they aren't gifts. That's what we're debating, if you pay for something from the JL list you aren't actually buying that thing for an individual in a refuge you are essentially giving that amount of money in JL vouchers with no idea how it will be spent or even any guarantee that it will be spent.

I just can't understand the thought process behind making a list of items with specific numbers of each item then going on to only give vouchers.

What a waste of time and effort to mislead.

And just as we all don't have a JL nearby I'm pretty sure that huge areas of the country don't have access to a Waitrose. I don't live any where off the beaten track but the nearest one to me is over 20 miles away.

We're not all in London/SE

MrsJayy · 17/12/2015 10:54

Our nearest john lewis is in glasgow and tbf people are not talking about buying tatt because its a charity. we are talking value for money and the fact that not only is Jl overly priced it is not accesible, you are browsing gifts that nobody is getting its like saying here is what you can buy if you have a nice life but we will give vouchers while you puruse the pretty things meh its misleading and naff imo.

musicmaiden · 17/12/2015 11:44

And just as we all don't have a JL nearby I'm pretty sure that huge areas of the country don't have access to a Waitrose. I don't live any where off the beaten track but the nearest one to me is over 20 miles away. We're not all in London/SE

Yes but they will order online and get a delivery - not go instore!

It's just when you look over the gift list, I'm thinking well I could buy a Moses basket in the sale from Mothercare or Babies are us and 3 nice gift sets from Boots in their 3 for 2, for the price of the Moses basket

This is a fair point, but these shops don't run gift lists - it's about the ease and convenience for the charity of getting the money for these gifts and then getting them supplied easily.

I just can't understand the thought process behind making a list of items with specific numbers of each item then going on to only give vouchers.

As someone said upthread, I don't think anyone is trying to mislead, it is to do with the fact that some people like to see the sort of gifts that are being bought (Refuge says 'this item or very similar') just as people prefer to 'give a goat' rather than give a donation to Oxfam etc. People just aren't as inspired by vouchers.

musicmaiden · 17/12/2015 11:47

I said: This is a fair point, but these shops don't run gift lists

Sorry, edit: Mothercare/Babies r Us do run gift lists, but clearly have a narrower range of products as Refuge also want gifts for mothers and older children and JL is more of a one-stop shop.

Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2015 12:04

Yes I can understand the logic of shopping at a department store.

I suppose we have to trust that Refuge will channel the gifts correctly.

At the same time people want to visualise what they're giving.

lifesalongsong · 17/12/2015 12:14

The gift list point isn't relevant though as it's vouchers that are being given.

I can't think of any general retailers that don't do vouchers and the refuges will be choosing what they spend the vouchers on so we don't know if they'll be for older children/babies or the mothers that's why I suggested generic high street vouchers above - more value for money and a vast choice.

Jux · 17/12/2015 15:43

I need to use PayPal but the option's not there. What can I do?

flippinada · 17/12/2015 16:41

The vouchers aren't being given to people in the shelters, they are given to the staff who use them to buy presents. This decision will have been made by Refuge so if you want to give feedback on it then get in touch with them.

LOL @ bringing Refuge and JL into disrepute. Priceless.

Jw35 · 17/12/2015 18:27

I did project shoebox this year too. I spent £15 in pound land and did one for a 2-4 year old boy. Jl is very expensive imo

LittleBearPad · 17/12/2015 20:08

It's an interesting concept 'value for money'. I think JL is excellent value for money. I have bought many of my children's clothes from there and they last brilliantly. The clothes they have from cheaper retailers, including supermarkets, don't last nearly as well. The same can be said for their bed linen, homewards etc.

LittleBearPad · 17/12/2015 20:09

Homewares

happyjustobeme · 17/12/2015 22:28

My workplace supports Refuge, and until this year, we could make donations of gifts for women and children spending Christmas at refuges by taking things into work. They would then be collected and distributed.

But this year, we have been asked to buy from the JL gift list instead. Apparently in previous years, they had been donated too much of the same type of things, which didn't really fit the profiles and needs of the women and children at the refuges. Plus, it was expensive to gather and distribute.

Hope this might go some way towards explaining the gift list idea.

Fanjango · 19/12/2015 21:25

I've shared the link to a few proactive Facebook groups I'm on. Hopefully some of our members will help too Smile

vinoandbrie · 19/12/2015 21:48

Thank you for the link, donated with the help of my five year old, who shed night on what she thinks would be nice. Have donated via this for a few years now, initially because I saw a beautify warm coat and I couldn't not get it if that makes sense.

vinoandbrie · 19/12/2015 21:49

Light not night. Sorry!

AndNowItsSeven · 20/12/2015 00:02

Shoeboxes don't all go one child though like people might think. All the contents get sorted into huge piles , the contents checked and then put back into shoe boxes.

EmpressOfTheVulvaCupcakes · 20/12/2015 08:44

This is the Project Shoebox people are talking about - boxes for women in refuges. They might well need to rearrange the items, I don't know, but it's a terrific scheme.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 20/12/2015 10:37

Thanks for the link. Wish I had known about it sooner. Looks like they did a really impressive job. I shall keep an eye out for that one next yearSmile

EmpressOfTheVulvaCupcakes · 20/12/2015 11:59

Rowan's said MN will look at Project Shoebox next year, which I think would be great, especially if they agree to be a drop off point.

BigGreenOlives · 20/12/2015 23:58

When we got married we recieved a percentage of the total spent by our guests in gift vouchers which we then spent. I don't know if the sane scheme is in operation now for the gift list but if it is it will be worthwhile. John Lewis might also be running a matching scheme.

WelshDragonMam · 21/12/2015 06:07

Sorry, but after John Lewis spent £7million on their Christmas advert, allegedly to raise the profile of Age Concern and the plight of lonely old people at Xmas (and then being completely spoofed by Aldi within a couple of weeks for what was probably a fraction of that price), I think I can hazard a guess at exactly where their charitable/financial loyalties lie.

I found out at the start of this month that my local Women's Aid shelter was doing a Christmas Appeal for the children that they support. With 1 child and 2 step children spanning 13 1/2 years, I decided to contact them directly via their FB page to find out more information such as were they usually short on gifts for certain age groups or genders (with a pretty good idea of what the answer would be). I tailored my shopping according to the information I was given and dropped off my gifts last week (spent a total of £11 and got gifts - just a case of knowing where to shop). Just glad that I might have put a smile on someone else's face and am thinking of next year giving my step sons £10 each and asking them to think of what they would have liked to have received and getting them to pick the presents instead of racking my brains for days like I did, just to make them think about how lucky they are (my LO is too young at the moment).

whois · 21/12/2015 17:16

Shoeboxes don't all go one child though like people might think. All the contents get sorted into huge piles , the contents checked and then put back into shoe boxes.

so its a massive waste of time making a box of complimentary stuff? Great. Massive con.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 21/12/2015 18:29

Its not a massive con. Its just not quite what you imagined. All the stuff gets hiven to people. But some shoe boxes don't have all the items and some people fonate lots of the same item so they sort them to mske sure everyone gets a full shoebox.