Want to buy a gift for women and families in a refuge this Christmas?

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello [santa]

As lots of you know, each year Refuge sets up a special gift list at John Lewis to provide gifts for women and children in their shelters.

If you fancy buying something off the list, here's the link.

And here's what Refuge have to say about it:

"As you may know, every year Refuge runs a Christmas appeal to collect presents for the women and children in our services, to make Christmas as special as possible for the women and children we support who are fleeing domestic violence. We try to ensure that everyone we're supporting gets around 2-3 gifts."

"The majority of women often flee their abusive partner in the middle of the night, too afraid to risk collecting their belongings. Many women arrive with little more than the clothes they and their children are wearing."

Here's the link again

Thanks all

I really want to donate but i had a look and the gifts are very expensive, does anyone know how i can but by buying my own gifts or another charity?

If anyone wants to know as well, was in pets a home today and they are running a charity to feed animals in shelters for xmas, its 50p per meal.

I'd really like it if MN set up weekends where we collected money for Women's Aid. Lots of recommendations are made for people to phone Women's Aid for help and it would be great if once in a while (eg monthly) we could pay £1 or £2 in through PayPal which went directly to them

Very much this - an excellent idea that really warrants consideration from HQ!

d really like it if MN set up weekends where we collected money for Women's Aid. Lots of recommendations are made for people to phone Women's Aid for help and it would be great if once in a while (eg monthly) we could pay £1 or £2 in through PayPal which went directly to them

Fantastic idea!

It would also be great if MN picked up on Project Shoebox next year. Maybe even acted as a collection point? Sorry Rowan (and Refuge) but I think Shoebox does work better.

Hello hello

Thanks for the feedback. Re Women's Aid - they were on our Giving Week roster of charities 18 months ago (and MNHQ matchfunded all donations). Very happy to look into Project Shoebox next year though.

Will ask Refuge if they'd like to comment on whether John Lewis are contributing anything directly although it may not be possible for Refuge to make a public comment about that.

if anyone wants to give to women's aid, there are direct links on their site for regular or one-off donations by credit or debit card. Or I'm sure they won't object if you send a cheque.

no need for paypal or justgiving fees.

While I agree with a lot of the points made re: John Lewis being expensive, people's money perhaps providing better value if spent in a supermarket, etc, has anyone noticed the [http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-involved/refuge-parcels/ Refuge Parcel link] on the same page? If someone wanted to donate something that wasn't necessarily specifically for Christmas, perhaps one of those might be an idea?

I'm wondering if part of the reason for the selection of JL is the location of the shops with regards to individual refuges, - if they're trying to make things as equal as possible, with as little admin as possible, then using the same shop for everyone makes sense, but if it meant some staff would have to make a 100-mile round trip to visit a particular shop, it makes it less efficient, and costs the charity more.

I know this might sound utterly dumb to some people, but (for example) the nearest Tesco to me is about 50 miles away, and a pita to get to even in a car. There's a JL less than 20 miles away, which is a far easier trip. If a refuge in my town used a gift list from Tesco, they'd probably spend 3 hours in the car at this time of year trying to pick up presents! (that's if Tesco even do a gift list system)

Also, if they're the only shop willing to help, they should get credit for it.

I rather feel that if JL were supporting Refuge in other ways, they would be promoting that, surely? - companies are usually very vocal about anything charitable they do. It would be encouraging if retailers who promote charitable initiatives gave the profitable portion of the relevant sales to the cause involved. I feel it a bit when I buy something for the food bank donation box at the supermarket - I'm buying items that I wouldn't otherwise have bought, so the retailers are increasing their profits from our charitable purchases (and even using food banks as an advertising strategy - see Coop's ill-thought out 'ideal for the food bank' signs).

However the gift list is a way to give a present easily, and in all honesty, if it hadn't existed, I probably wouldn't have gone out and bought something in a shop and taken it to a drop-off point. So kudos to John Lewis for doing something.

I'm very interested in the comment above about the fact that the people don't even actually get the "gifts" that are bought from the list.

Tbh this whole thing is stupid, why not set up a scheme where people donate an amount of money that is then converted to high street or love to shop vouchers that can be given to individuals who can choose what they actually need and get maximum value from the money donated. I know that you can even buy food from Iceland with some vouchers.

I just had a look on the JL website, there have less than 50 shops nationwide. Why make it difficult for people in refuges to access the money donated and why make them go somewhere achingly middle class when they are at their lowest. I think the whole scheme needs a total rethink

Im not very good with words sometimes so i hope posters get my point but the whats the point of browsing something nice but the person gets something else say vouchers or an alternative im maybe cynical but its a bit naff imo

lifesalongsong I think i meant what you said

Exactly - I went up and down the list trying to decide what I'd like to give (for a mum or child, luxurious or educational or comforting etc). It's a bit disconcerting that the actual item I eventually chose isn't going necessarily going to be given to anyone. It's possibly more effective that just asking for a money donation, but I'd rather they were just upfront. Marketing...

My local refuge is not as far as I know park of the national refuge group. A few years ago on here someone posted that their best Xmas gift was dove soap and shampoo - they were in a refuge.

Since then I have spent about £20 in Superdrug and had them sent to the local refuge, they have an office in town as well as a shop for donations. I know there are many more practical gifts but an eye shadow or a lipstick seems more 'present' IYSWIM.

Shoebox would be good too, I could collect bits all year for that.

This is my local refuge - if anyone else is near and wants to contribute you can give gifts, money or do your own online shopping and still fund them.

www.havenrefuge.org.uk/christmas

Whilst I agree JL is an odd choice I imagine the vouchers get dished out to individual refuges and they do an order based on who they currently have in house and it gets delivered.
At the refuge I stayed in the staff didn't go out shopping even for cleaning products - they did an order via central office and it was delivered.

I'm really confused by this whole concept! I'd very happily some items off of say, an Asda or Tesco list of clothing, toys, books, electrical items etc which would be sent to a family in a refuge. I'd love to do that in fact.
But buying something off a list from such an expensive retailer that won't even be given but converted into vouchers that get given to who? To be spent on what? Is it even at JL and if so why are the items bought not given?
It all seems a bit odd!

Honestly people. If you don't like the scheme, you don't have to donate.

It explains very clearly on the Refuge page linked in the OP exactly why they do the vouchers instead of getting people to send gifts in and how it all works.

The biggest misunderstanding seems to be that vouchers are given to people in the shelters to go and spend at JL. They aren't. They go to the staff in the refuges who use them to buy presents - but people would know this if they bothered read the link instead of making assumptions and jumping in to criticise.

On the plus side, it's reminded to go and donate so thanks for the thread MN.

Direct quote from Refuge's gift list page:

"Due to the confidential nature of the location of our services, all presents will be converted to vouchers and the same or very similar gifts will be bought and distributed by our refuge staff."

and

"Unfortunately due to the limited resources at Refuge we are unable to accept large volumes of donated Christmas presents. We want to ensure that every woman and child receives a Christmas gift and our gift list has been designed specifically for this, while also minimising the resources needed."

Just to add agreement that this sounds like a poor value plan or it is badly communicated.

Flippinda why have a gift list then? A donator choosing an item from a list assuming that particular item would be given to a family is fine, but (as many of us on here have said) JL is a luxury retailer and £10 would go much further in other stores. And then it's added that the gift you buy doesn't actually go to a child/ family but that the value of that item is given as a voucher to a refuge. So why the list? Why not ask us to contribute to voucher totals?
This is what confuses me.

I didn't bother to read the info (mea culpa) so like others, I assumed that the specific item I bought would be given to a toddler in a refuge somewhere.

I can see why that process wouldn't work terribly well, in retrospect. I'm still happy that I donated though. It's good that residents will be getting some decent quality stuff that they'd normally be unable to afford.

Yes Flippina. Exactly. Stop overthinking it. Either donate this way or another way. People loving finding fault and complaining.......

Osmiornica I'd imagine that they will buy online and be sent the gifts?

Thisis I don't know, but Refuge have been running this appeal for years and presumably it works well or they wouldn't keep doing it. At a guess, maybe some people prefer to buy a gift, rather than donate money?