New MN campaign around children with special needs

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

Following on from this, um, lively thread from a couple of weeks back, we wanted to follow up on kungfupannda's excellent suggestion of an MNHQ-backed awareness-raising campaign aimed at - in kungfupannda's words - 'making it absolutely, uncompromisingly clear that in order to fully include children with severe disabilities, people might have to accept a bit of disruption once in a while.'

We were thinking about something along the lines of our We Believe You campaign on rape myths; that is to say, an ongoing awareness-raising project aimed at the general public, rather than a short-term campaign with specific policy requests attached. We would be thinking about pages on Mumsnet itself featuring the experiences of our posters, activity on our Bloggers Network, ye olde Twitter hashtagge, and any press coverage we can grab.

The suggestion on the thread was for the campaign to be called 'Tolerance is...', but we at MNHQ are a little unsure about the word 'tolerance' (which can suggest barely-contained irritation, rather than the kind of empathetic understanding and generosity of spirit we'd all like to see). So we were wondering whether something along the lines of 'This is my child' would work better?

Please feel free to use this thread to give us any feedback and ideas, and generally let us know what you think.

Thanks
MNHQ

www.seemescotland.org/

Someone up thread spoke about the see me campaign, this is a link to that web page.

Yes that is great Leith - positive images (as opposed to pitiful/scary/scrounging)

Amber leaf what was your comment at Sun 03-Feb-13 11:23:00 about?

See I can do positive sick of lol.

The notion of rights not charity could be something we could use? That would be all inclusive and allow people to be strong and proactive instead of pleading for things or asking for understanding, we are after all saying this is not our problem the problem is with society as a whole.

Leithurker, it was me being exasperated at the way this thread has gone. The same way as the discussion on what changes to boards names was needed.

Negativity, when asked for input so that we have some say is so pointless.

It always happens and its always the same arguments.

Accusations are made, and then the accusers say they are being attacked....

Leith, my DS has been out of his special school for over 3 year now. It's for needs that are not being supported. He is challenging and complex. The fight to pick him up and put him there became too much as he got bigger and more aggressive. He has a 'right' to a full time education, where is it?

Again, not me shutting the door on a possible way forward just highlighting my personal experience in how it doesn't work. (do I have to disclaim everything I write!!)

sickofincompetenceandbullshit2 outing a name change is despicable,
fine you don't agree with me, but to do that is vile and I have reported your post.
thanks. I will now have to name change again.
nasty and beyond the pale to do that

Devient, your point is what I am saying, you child has a right, why is that right not being given. Mainly it is due to the system not having the ability to give your son what his right is. That is just the same as children needing nursery or older people needing specialist care at home.

exactly but when I highlighted his situation I was slated by parents of SN kids one way or another.

This is also just one example of how the 'system' is letting him down but then when I tried to highlight that I got the same response.

Kids like my DS end up in 24 hour supervision, hidden away.....

But this wasn't what was needed.

I never noticed that 3socks, that is bad, I feel for you (((hugs)))

You weren't slated for anything devient

You just talk about your problems as if no one else has problems and no one else could ever possibly understand, sorry but it is soo patronising.

I know you have it very hard, if I had the power to change things for you I would.

But blaming us here, is so unfair.

Threesocks, I didn't think your name change was especially secretive?

Sorry you are upset at being 'outed' but the first time I saw 'threesocks' I knew it was you.

I felt slated, alone and what I had to give wasn't needed.

I have said this over and over and will not repeat it.

I have blamed no one, I have merely pointed out our scenario is not whats needed, yet I am in it just as much as the next.

But then with comments about under estimating what it's like to be a parent of a disabled child, what do you expect.

Like I said the other day, we have another 3 kids with SN, this was is different, harder to cope with but hey ho, I hoped my not keep mentioning these I wouldn't sound as patronising.

I really like this quote from the This is What Disability Looks like website.

"This is What Disability Looks Like seeks to counter messages that disability is a tragedy or inspirational."

It sums up not wanting to be pitied, excused or held up as special, but instead reinforces that disability just is and people who have disabilities are. If all people with all their differences and needs were accepted as simply being part of society, it would go without saying that every person should have their needs met - it wouldn't occur to anyone to even question it.

Dev how can we make sure we get across to people with very little or no understanding what the heart of the issue is for you and your ds? What you are going through is absolutely key to our point.

I was just trying to get my head around what is at the root of the problem. Am I right in thinking that it's down to the strict rules and guidelines ruling out rather than providing what people need? If you don't fit their profile, then they can't/won't help you. Whereas if there was an open assessment process and less shrinking of budgets, arse-covering, tick-boxing and passing people onto the next guy ... and the next and the next, the relevant agencies would be able to get together, assess the full extent of a person's needs and come up with a plan - shared or otherwise to properly support them.

Which leads us back to the whole point about people who have disabilities simply being part of society who have equal rights to everyone else to have their needs (and rights) met.

It's the same problem across the board, with almost every issue. Take the Statutory Assessment process, which is supposed to provide educational support for children with wide ranging disabilities and abilities. If you don't fit their, very narrow, criteria, the door is slammed in your face. Not bad enough - too bad - too complex - not complex enough etc.

It's the same issue, the system is closed, limited and underfunded and there is simply nothing/no-one there for people who don't 'fit'.

How do we get this across to people, who in all honesty, live completely oblivious to the fact that this is even happening?

when it comes to making people aware of disability and our kids, it won't work on here because of all the disablist posts seen. Parents are now defensive and come across quite heated. This is whats not needed but to get away from that here when so much has gone on it will be difficult. Then to bitch amongst ourselves already divides it and could never be pro active. Hope that makes sense.

moose don't worry about us, I would love to help but don't want to come across as everything already used against me. I am a nice person really in an unfortunate position, thats all xx

But I do worry about you Dev - and others like you.

We all need a voice, we all need to be seen and heard and those who are already isolated need more, not less, help to make that happen.

If you aren't comfortable contributing to the thread, perhaps you could support the campaign through pm or email - or direct communication with MNHQ?

should of said DH has also been through SS etc he is hard work too. if anyone wants to take him on feel free

If you look back, that was said in the heat of the moment in response to the comment mentioned.

I do not want DS in resi, we were having a really unbearable time when it was mentioned. Yes it still might happen, I will be gutted, just unfortunate no one saw my sorrow through it. What you are saying about him being hidden away is twisting my words and feelings.

I am not pointing out the crap side of MN and have always said I would hate my worst enemy to be in my position. I am merely defending my feelings and situation.

I gave a positive, my DS is still with me.

Sorry for the quick post.