Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet campaigns

For more information on Mumsnet Campaigns, check our our Campaigns hub.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Girls' body confidence - what do you think could improve it?

193 replies

KateMumsnet · 07/01/2011 17:18

Hello everyone!

Lynne Featherstone, the Minister for Equalities, is chairing a Roundtable on Body Confidence at the House of Commons. She wants to get up to speed on the work that various independent groups are doing in this area, in order to champion them within government and get as much support for their work as possible.

One of the topics under consideration is sexualisation, and following our Let Girls Be Girls campaign we've been asked to come up with some proposals. We're going to push for the government to get behind our Lads' Mags campaign - but we also thought it was a good moment to ask for your thoughts more generally about body confidence issues and what, if anything, you'd like to see policy-makers doing.

So do please fire away - what else do you think could be done generally to improve the body confidence of young girls?

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 09/01/2011 16:32

Yes it is, perhaps taking the matter up with police if the school refuse?

HerBeatitude · 09/01/2011 16:46

The problem is, the police aren't interested either.

They don't want to get involved with stuff happening on school premises in the normal run of things and we all know about their attitude to women and sexual assault.

So atm, girls in mixed schools are sitting ducks. No wonder their results are lower than those of girls in all girl schools.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 18:30

I am so happy this is being discussed. I clearly remember being unable to tell my parents why I stopped athleics at age 13...it was because the boys were commenting on all the girls breasts as they ran...and I had none so was called names re. my figure and laaughed at.

I doubt most girls would be able to talk about these things with their parents or teachers and so involving police is a moot point at the moment.

I would be interested to hear from Mumsnetters with teenage children on the subject...to hear if these issues are ever broached nowadays.

superv1xen · 09/01/2011 18:35

i was also called names by boys at school as i was very thin with no boobs and looked very young, i basically looked like a child till i was about 17. it wasnt just me, it was all the girls, they were all either "too fat" "too thin" "ugly" "a slag" "a virgin" ..it was awful :( and the teachers didnt give a shit about it.

and that combined with my mum's attitude towards me made me a very unhappy, very insecure teenager and young adult.

i also remember my mum being obsessed with dieting and always on some sort of diet even though she didnt need to be :( she thought she was old and ugly as well and would always say it (even though she wasn't) :(

AliGrylls · 09/01/2011 18:43

There is something endemic in our society that is not about health but about bdeing thin. I remember my dad tellinmg me I was fat when I was 18. I was 11 st - not huge but definitely not skinny. It will take years to reverse the trend if they govt are really serious about it. The first thing that needs to happen is a campoaign about being "healthy" as opposed to "losing weight" "being slim".

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 18:47

Supervixen...sounds like me. I was skinny and tall...so some boys grabbed that and made me feel awful about my body...which made me shy and paranoid...so then was "fridgid" other girls who were more curvy or confident were slags.

The research in the thread which Herbeatitude links to is truly awful...it's not only girls who are suffering...there needs to be something in place to protect them all.

superv1xen · 09/01/2011 18:59

omg that thread that herbeatitude linked to :( some of the tales in that are shocking, just shocking. :(

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 19:54

Awful isn't it Superv1xen?

According to the research mentioned on the thread it's just as bad today.

If nothing gets done about it I will be very unhappy. I have 2 DDs an if anything like this happened to them I would be UP IN ARMS!

I hope that MN listens to the voices on here...and passes on our concerns.

Branaire · 09/01/2011 21:26

Clear guidelines for advertisers using images of women, more specifically, using images of female body parts eg. closeups on lips, torso, legs... Once you start to notice it, you see it all the time in TV and print advertising, selling make-up, yogurts, cereal, chocolate perfume, alcohol. It objectifies women and turns them into a collection of body parts. Men are not depicted in this way!

Ditto Page 3....

I also hate the way that music videos these days (especially dance videos) are basically soft porn.

And that radio stations aimed at young people (Radio 1) give airtime to songs with explicitly sexual lyrics - how does a song like Rudeboy by Rihanna make the playlist?! I don't listen to it / would switch off but would be happier with a Watershed on radio. I am not a DM reader but this article really strikes a chord: Why pop songs tell girls they're sluts

Especially "The real problem is when girls are presented with an unbalanced stereotyped point of view about who they ought to be and how they ought to perform in relationships. It's when they are made to feel that there is little alternative to aspiring to the 'ideals' of being hot and sexually desirable."

popserinis · 09/01/2011 21:29

No matter what shape or form your body takes, you will want to change something about it.

Body confidence can never be achieved unless you have full confidence in yourself.

We should be encouraging our children to be confident individuals so they can stand up to their critics and be comfortable in their own skin

When they have that confidence they will talk to their parents.

Children will come accross all sorts of things that they can be taunted about in life - it's part of growing up and we cannot shield them from everything or stop kids being kids.

Our job is to guide them through the best we can ut what a tough job it is ;-)

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 21:37

popserinis...I do hope you're not posting in response to the conversation re. sexual harassment in schools?

Yes...children need to learn to take critisism...but if adults don't have to put up with groping/sexual name calling etc then children certainy don't either.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 21:38

And I disagree with your comments about everyone wanting to change some part of their body. Not true at all.

popserinis · 09/01/2011 21:43

Sorry, just new - only read the firs page - didn't realise there was more...

popserinis · 09/01/2011 21:44

I was answering to the title of the post - Girls body confidence.....

HerBeatitude · 09/01/2011 21:46

So popserinis, do you think that the answer to racist bullying in schools, is just to tell black and Asian parents, that they should be doing more to make their children confident, so that they don't mind the racist taunts and bullying?

Or do you think we should be telling the perpetrators that racist bullying is not going to be tolerated in schools?

And if we won't tolerate racial bullying, why do we tolerate sexual bullying? Is it because racism is morally worse than sexism? And if so, why?

HerBeatitude · 09/01/2011 21:47

Oops, sorry, cross posted, didn't mean to bombard you.

popserinis · 09/01/2011 21:51

This has nothing to do with raceist bullying. Where did I mention anything about that?

If you can read my post and take from that that I tolerate sexual or racial bullying something is far wrong.

I'm talking about body confidence which is the title of the thread.

Everyone is so aggressive on here!

popserinis · 09/01/2011 21:51

Cross posted too....sorry

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 21:54

There are a lot of strong feelings aout this popserinis....best to read the whole thread when it comes to this kind of thing or people will often take your comments in a different way than you meant them.

popserinis · 09/01/2011 21:56

I'm only new.......I didn't know there were more pages!

What a way to learn your lesson!

popserinis · 09/01/2011 22:01

Glad it's not my first day at school, would feel well picked on by now.....

WimpleOfTheBallet · 09/01/2011 22:01

Don't worry! You haven't seen half of it all yet! Grin I got a right lathering on my fist visit...I posted in Am I Being Unreasonable...and apparently I was..with bells on!

The style here is forthright but people don't mean to offend...it's all very no nonsense. Chat is a nice friendly place to visit if you want a light hearted talk to people..I like it anyway!

popserinis · 09/01/2011 22:06

Thanks for the advice - think I might give chat a try :)

scallopsrgreat · 09/01/2011 22:10

There is so much that affects body confidence within women that it might be best to have a focused approach rather than bung a load of ideas into the hat.

Sexual harrassment in schools is one area that is quantifiable and has a already defined scope. Recent research has already been carried out in this area. It happens to individual girls directly, as opposed to advertising/magazines/media that is more indirect and subliminal. It would also send a strong message out to the boys that this unacceptable and to the girls that they don't hace to put up with it. Surely this is a really good place to start changing things.

LeninGrad · 09/01/2011 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.