What book or method would you recommend for getting twins into a routine?

[NKffffffffee0f8010X1140828dc0e]

Twins nearly 10 weeks old. They have no routine. All attempts to get one failing miserably. Can't get them in sync if ones awake, the others asleep.If one's hungry the other's not. I'm losing the will to live. never sleep more than 3 hours at once. never a minute free from them. tandem feeding is getting really difficult due to colic and them getting big. they never stop feeding. got a three year old too. need sleep so much. Any book or method you would recommend pleeease!

Hi

I'm sorry I can't do anything other than sympathise. I've got 8 week old twins and a 3 year old and mine have no routine either. I'm hoping someone who can help will respond to your post! Even if mine start the day feeding at the same time, it's rare that this continues for the rest of the day.

I've been using the Baby Secrets book for the last 2 weeks or so (my boys are 6 weeks old). Success is mixed so far - trying to strike the right balance between having playtime, and getting them to have enough sleep in the day. Maybe it's because there are 2, but I have found that following the routine means that they have about 20 mins to get all alert and playful before I try to put them down for a nap. So we're already changing the routine.

I'm hoping that we can follow the routine for a good couple of months, and by then we'll know the boys better, and be ale to adapt the routines further to suit them better.

I definitely agree with LL - totally in awe of you for managing twins + a 3 year old, you're my new heroine.

thanks everyone, have just ordered baby secrets book so will see how we get on with that.
I wish i could feed seperately but when i try it i end up doing nothing but feeding and if i'm on my own i can guarantee whichever one i'm not feeding will be squawking (even if in a bouncy chair at my feet)and even if that's the one that's just been fed!))
Had my sister and her baby here for a week last month and it was a great help (except that she couldn't stand even 10 seconds of a baby crying - would actually get cross with me if i let them cry cos i had to do something else just then - she has 3 adults in her house full time and one baby, rather than 1 adult and 3 children so she's used to being able to pick her baby up straight away). but am on my own most of the time during the week as family live a long way away.
Twins do have a formula top up in the evening (when they cluster feed from 5pm - 11pm) and its after that they sleep the longest but when i do a night feed myself, it only satisfies them for 1 or 2 hours.
Anyway i'll see how i get on with the book. thanks again x

NK-have you thought about Homestart?
They will be able to support you and give you a couple of hours help-even if you use it to get a shower and a coffee break! I use Gina Ford "contented house with twins" as a starting point, i dont follow everything but it has helped me get some time back to myself and it made me understand about a twin routine as i had no idea where to start.My twins are 18 weeks old.
Also wanted to say to all the posters on here how delicious your twins are!!!We are lucky ladies indeed!

You will probably find it easier to look for patterns in their natural routines rather than try to make them fit something someone else has written.

See how long they stay awake for before they start showing tired signs (yawning, eye rubbing, hiccups, glazed expression, ear pulling/hair rubbing) and then factor in a nap after this time. Then see how long they will go between feeds and add this into the equation. Add wake up time and your target bedtime and you should have a rough guide that you can try out over a few days.

Also worth bearing in mind that I didn't really see this pattern until 12 weeks, but by 16 weeks we had a recognisable routine, but also that it changed every few weeks (they gradually are able to stay awake for longer and longer so the naps move) so stay flexible otherwise you will be stressed out trying to make them 'fit' again in a few weeks.

Good luck!

thanks. i've signed up with homestart now so will hopefully get some help soon and baby secrets book is on the way. this is all making me feel a bit more optimistic that it won't be this bad for much longer.

Looking at advice here, I think i'll wait til we hit the 12 week mark then start trying to see if they have any kind of natural routine and take it from there....

(they had their 1st immunisations today and i'm told that they sleep for a while after this. Is it wrong that i'm quite excited and planning all the things i'll get done?)

I still get excited as nap time approaches and mine are 13mo now. Not wrong at all, just realistic!

The book turned up. I went straight to the routine / sleep section and started reading it whilst bouncing one twin in a chair and the other over my shoulder trying to get them to sleep in the living room with the telly on and soon found out just how wrong i was doing it all.
Routine implemented immediately!
today i am shattered but both babies having a long lunchtime nap at the same time is definately progress. All this time i kept feeding them every time they cried then wondered why they were fussing about it, turns out they wanted to be put down for a nap.
Now who wants to look after my 3 year old while i go get some sleep?

Also, SarahK, can you give us an update on who the book is working out for you soon? Ta.

i mean how not who..

So, here's the update. The first few days we had the book, we followed it quite closely except for two bits: 1) we didn't wake them up 15 mins before a feed, because that just left them frustrated and screaming and 2) we also don't change nappies pre-feed, because they ALWAYS poop during a feed. We do half a feed, burp, 2nd half of feed, burp & nappy change. This also seems to prevent them being too windy.

Soothing worked well initially, though I must admit that we now resort to a dummy a bit more quickly than in the early days! The first couple of nights they slipped straight into the 4 hourly feeds - 7pm, 11pm, 3am and 7am. Bliss! but that only lasted 2 nights Then for about 10 days they had 7pm, 11pm, then woke up at 2 and had to be soothed till 3, then woke up at 6 and had to be soothed till 7. They have super-accurate internal alarm clocks! Obviously that was quite hard to cope with. The next stage was to try giving them a little top-up feed at, for example, 6.15 to get through to 7. This worked with one twin, but not the other.

So we changed a few things. I think that the play times were the wrong length for us - about 20 minutes by the time the feed ended - so the boys had time to get all alert and playful, then suddenly we were trying to get them to sleep. We rearranged a bit. We also decided to follow the schedule for day time feeds including 7pm and 7am, and then feed on demand at night. We've only been doing this for a few days, so hard to draw conclusions yet, but the boys have slept in 4 hour blocks with feeds at 7 11 3 and 7. How ironic that they are now doing exactly what the book says once we decided not to follow it! I think actually that they were probably a bit too little before now to go the full 4 hours (they're 7 weeks today, and about 4 & 3.8kg)

Here's our schedule:
7.00 am feed
7.40 Play
8.30 Nap
10.00 Feed
10.40 Play
11.30 Nap
1.00 pm Feed
1.40 Play (this is a good slot for an outing, or visitors)
2.30 Nap
4.00 feed
4.40 Nap
6.00 Bath (followed by massage if they are in the mood)
7.00 feed
nightime on demand
7.00 Start all over again!

Capello, I know what you mean about dummies falling out - at the moment, the boys don't cry every time it falls out, so it's ok. If / when that changes, it might be a challenge to deal with, but it's working ok at the moment.

The boys are doing very well thanks, 7 weeks old today, just posted on another thread about our routine which is (touch wood) improving. Getting a smidge more sleep these days! Let's hope it lasts. I think they were really a bit too little to cope with 4-hour stretches between feeds. Other than that, they're putting on weight like big bruisers, holding up their heads, and smiling,

The next stage is for me to come to terms with leaving the boys with someone else so that i can go out now and again. That would be nice. Mind you, it's so flaming hot outside that I'd probably just air con surf from one shopping mall to another - not much better for my sanity than sitting here all day!

On another note, a friend has just had her baby, and is having a bit of trouble with feeding - while I am by no means an expert in feeding (or anything else for that matter) it really helped me feel like I am coping, and that I have learnt something in the last 7 weeks, to be able to offer some ideas and support. Nothing like someone else needing your help to bring you out of a funk.

Crap, sorry everyone, I posted that last message on the wrong thread whoops Blame the sleep deprivation!

OK, so night times are going relatively well, but we just can't crack the 6am - 7am bit. The boys both wake up at 6, or even 5.30, and can't be soothed back to sleep till 7. I wonder if it's because of the morning light coming in? However, they sleep in the same room during the day, when it is obviously just as light...

They happily sleep from 7pm until 11pm, or even longer, so I know they can do 4 hours after a feed...any ideas?

(ps this is SarahKatie under a new name)

So did the feeding on demand during the night just naturally go to a 11pm wake up and a 5:30am or did you start trying the routine again?

I can understand why you would feed on demand during the night as last night i forced myself to wake them at 11pm then spent a lot of time doing the soothing in the night at 1am and 5am (fed that at 2:30am) and was so exhausted this morn, i let them sleep til 8:30am instead of waking them so it was all pointless. I just don't have the energy to do spaced sooting in the night as well as wake them up at 7am regardless of when they last went to sleep.

daytime routine is going well although they are still on a 3 hour routine despite being nearly 12 weeks and a healthy weight.

I have no advice for you about the mornings except maybe they only want 11 hours at night and are ready to get up at 6am! sorry.

I'm not as frazzled as i was when i first posted this thread and me and dh definately got our evenings back so the routine is good for something.

However homestart are not. got me to fill in their forms twice then just didn't bother to even get in touch. lovely.

Well the weather here has been pretty nasty for the last couple of days - I reckon that the grey, overcast mornings help the boys to reach 7am, since there's no bright sunlight streaming in. We have blackout curtains, but they don't meet the sides of the window very well! So we're trying to tape it up with gaffer tape, very classy solution.

Last night they did 7 till midnight, then midnight till 3.30 (soothed back to sleep) then they woke again for a feed at 4, then 6.50. Not bad huh?

But as you say LL, things change every day, so I'm sure that as soon as I am convinced they've got it, everything will change. Vaccinations tomorrow, so that'll probably screw everything up.

I looked at Gina again last night, and the fact that a description of the routine for 1 day lasts 6 WHOLE PAGES scared me again. LL which bits do you ignore? I had forgotten that she tells you when to eat!

last night i did spaced soothing from 1:20am - 3am and again from 5am - 6:30am. My husband thinks i'm mad and i am starting to wonder too....

They never wake before their 11pm feed but i'm still doing that. He really does think i'm bonkers - feeding them when they're asleep and not feeding them when awake. I wish i could get some support from him trying to get them into a routine, i think that would be a huge help.

MEN!

Reading this thread with interest as I have 8 week old triplets and a 22 mo DD. Struggling with routine - somedays it all goes ok, others not so. The heat definitely isn't helping.
Anyway, just slightly off topic but on the subject of blackout blinds. Buy some blackout fabric and some sew and stick velcro. Cut a panel the same size as your window surround and stick velcro around the edge and then stick the other half of the velcro around the window frame. Unpeel and sew the velcro on the fabric into place and you should have a perfectly fitting blackout panel that you can velcro up and down and lets very little light though. Worked a dream for my DD who still uses hers now and I'm hoping the boys will have her good sleep habits!