Afternoon. What has been going on with all of you? FG don't be sad xx Yes, unload or can we have a link to the thread shabs found?
You've all been busy.
Sorry you are having such a rubbish time Trips. I get IBS, it can be really severe. Only thing you can do is try to keep from stressing and make sure you eat well and regularly. xx
HM - You seem in fine form atm!
Rubes - rubbish about the court case, even more rubbish that you can't discuss it! xx
Hi Monkey Margot, welcome
1). What cars can fit 3 childseats (with ISO-fix/Easy-fix bases) in the back?
Not sure as we don't use the 2 isofix points in our car. We got a new shape Fiat Multipla when we had our twins as it has 3 seats in the front, 3 in the back, a great sized boot, is the same length as our old nissan note and only a small amount wider. We don't use the car all that often as we much prefer walking, I don't drive and we are environmentally concerned
The multipla is proving to be very good, because it is normal sized it fits on our front parking space. It offers versatile seating/storage arrangements and is reasonably safe too. The only concern I have is around it being a more polluting diesel engine but I think because we have bought a car that fits our family of six and no more rather than carrying extra seats around this balances out better. I also think the 'kids are safer in the middle row' thing is a bit of a myth and that the quality and type of car seat matters more.
We stayed away from the zafira type cars with the two extra seats in the back for this reason. I think if we had one the extra seats would have to be completely redundant as I couldn't feel ok carrying mine or other people's children in them knowing about that crash test.
2). Is it best for twins to share a cot from birth, then separate at later stage into seperate cots?
Our twins are 9 weeks old today. They are in separate moses baskets in our room and have been since we came home. They are currently sleeping 10pm to 6am (Lily - smaller twin) and 10pm to 7am (Dylan bigger twin) - pretty amazing for fully breastfed babies, so soon they will probably be able to go into their room - although I'll probably move in with them for a bit as Lily had a blue episode after choking on reflux at 2am on new year's eve so I'll feel nervous leaving them. When they go in their own room they are going to share a cotbed. We do have two cotbeds because my older two are only 15 months apart so both used a cotbed at the same time but I don't want to fill all the space in their room with no need. They don't seem to wake each other at the moment - one can be screaming right next to the other and it doesn't wake them!
3). Do your DT's still share a room?
Yes, currently and will until they are old enough to be segregated into gender specific rooms with their siblings as we have 3 double bedrooms and one single. We will then have the possibility of an overspill room which will be DH's office or for one of the children if they just can't cope with sharing! lol
4). How many of you had natural births with your DT's? I am really hoping to avoid a CS since I have given birth before. Not sure what the odds are of this happening?
They should have to have a good reason for offering you a CS. I had a long labour with DS (84 hours with 60 hour active phase) and started off in the local MLU which has since shut but delivered in the hospital. Had a totally natural birth in the end with no instruments - just pethidine and oxytocin drip as it was so long. Pushing stage was very easy though. Had a lovely natural home delivery (12 hour labour which began after a full night's sleep at 6am and was done by 6pm) with DD which was my best and easiest birth and only needed TENS pain relief. With the twins I had wanted another home birth, as I feel very uncomfortable in hospitals, before I found out it was twins and so had to grieve for the loss of that. Could have hired an independent midwife to do it for us but felt that was too risky for the second twin with the 'local' hospital being so far away. Instead we hired a Doula. I had had very negative experiences with my local hospital and the care they had provided previously had ranged from very poor to actually negligent but was keen to try and rebuild the relationship knowing I would need a hospital birth. We hired a doula which was the best decision we made, I think, as everything fell into place really because of her suggestions and support. I attempted to build a relationship with the local hospital but they were very uncomfortable with me having a natural delivery and kept laughing at me () when I said I wanted to plan one - my consultant's response was 'things won't be normal with twins!!! HA HA HA!' I said 'well, I realise twin birth is more risky and that I will have to accept intervention if it is necessary but I want to plan for a natural birth if everything is normal' which met more laughter and a refusal to discuss the issues with me. Their attitude was we do X because 'it is policy' and we can't discuss it with you because that is just how we do it with twins. We changed care to Liverpool Women's on the suggestion of my doula, and after meeting the staff ourselves. They are a bigger hospital, the MLU is only at the opposite end of a corridor from the CLU and Dr Bricker, who does the specialist twin clinic, is very geared towards natural birth. We agreed a plan of care where I could have a MLU delivery if things went fine with the pregnancy and I was under joint consultants - Dr Bricker and Simon Mehigan (Consultant midwife for normalcy!). They worked exceptionally well together and despite some issues with highish BP towards the end, a lot of antenatal monitoring, and it looking like I'd have to be induced in CLU at 36/37 weeks, I had two natural deliveries in the MLU at 40 +3 with the water pool for pain relief, intermittent monitoring and only gas and air for pain relief. I think the best things we did in order to get our natural delivery were:
- Hiring the doula. Apart from helping our relations with the Women's (and suggesting them) she really made a difference to the pregnancy for me. She came lots of times to chat to me and massage my feet and back and do sifting to help get the babies head down. I found the pregnancy very difficult and couldn't often get out of bed because of really awful morning all day and night, even waking me up sickness and then the high BP that meant I had to be on total bed rest for 4 weeks at the end. Having her gave me someone hopeful and supportive to discuss things with and something to look forward to when everything seemed terribly difficult and invasive. I found the twin pregnancy extremely tiring and debilitating when I had been extremely fit and able in my singleton pregnancies (dragging jane slalom pram and 15 month old up 2 flights of stairs twice a day till I gave birth).
- Finding the right hospital and Consultant to help support what I wanted. This is very important because if you try and force HCP's to care for you outside the guidelines when they are not happy too then things will be more likely to end badly. Liverpool were fantastic, the Consultants and senior midwives were all happy to support me outside the guidelines but some of the junior doctors and ordinary midwives had concerns about some of the things I wanted - intermittent monitoring, possible breech delivery of twin2, MLU delivery supervised by midwives rather than doctors, so the hospital provided extra training for midwives on breech birth e.t.c. and communicated well with each member of staff to try and allay their concerns.
- Doing all my research about the twin delivery guidelines and policies and what I wanted compared to what was safe very early on so I had time to plan and convince people/change hospitals! When I researched things I felt some of the policies would actually increase my risks of having interventions and offered little or no benefit in return.
Here is my birth story. I would be very happy to discuss anything with you as I've only recently planned and researched all the things for my birth. As I said before I think they often offer you things as standard which make instrumental delivery or emergency CS more likely when you are having twins - epidural, routine monitoring, giving brith in an operating theatre 'just in case'. What neenz says I agree with though, you need to be prepared for things not going to plan and that different types of twins will need different care in pregnancy - mine were the lowest risk type and I have a great OB history so stood a good chance of getting the things I wanted.