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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

Original poster

I should have had twins. I feel cheated and I feel cheated for Bo.

54 replies

bubble99 · 10/05/2005 00:05

And I see so many twins around. Today, when Elijah and I went to school to pick up my older two DS's, I met a mum who had lost one of her identical twin daughters to TTTS (transfusion thing). I had felt that I had got it reasonably together after Bo died but she knocked me for six without meaning to. I envy you all so much.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 10/05/2005 00:06

Oh, sweetheart

MarsLady · 10/05/2005 00:07

I wish I could make it better bubble, I wish I could turn back time

colditz · 10/05/2005 00:08

I don't know what to say, I really don't, I'm sorry.

sallystrawberry · 10/05/2005 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilibet · 10/05/2005 00:25

oh Bubble, you have been so let down with the doctors and you are doing an awful lot to make sure that it doesn't happen again. I can understand that you feel for Elijah in not knowing his brother and that nothing anyone can say can help, but he is so blessed to have you and Mr Bubble as parents and I know that you will keep Boe's memory alive and he will be just as much a part of your family as your other children.

Loads of hugs to you all xx

Chandra · 10/05/2005 00:34

Don'tknow what to say really

Thinking of you

Janh · 10/05/2005 10:22

Oh, bubble. I wish so much I could think of something to say that would help. You have got it together, incredibly well, but there will always be odd things like today that knock you back - please don't add guilt for feeling like this to the pain you have to bear.

sandyballs · 10/05/2005 10:28

So sorry Bubble. It's hard to know what to say to make you feel better.

RTKangaMummy · 10/05/2005 10:44

It was the empty arm that got to me bubble

I had spend so long working out how I was going to feed my DTs under both arms like rugby balls or lying on my lap.

How they were going to sleep.

And like you say twins just seem to be everywhere on tv, magazines, walking along the pavement, in the park.

And they are so visable aren't they?

I felt really cheated for myself and for DT2

Hugs to you bubble {{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

marthamoo · 10/05/2005 10:48

I don't know what to say either. Mainly because there isn't anything anyone can say to make it easier. I don't think it ever gets 'better' - you just learn, in time, to accept it as part of your life now You should have Elijah and Bo and that's the top and bottom of it. It makes me desperately sad and angry that you don't.

I'm sorry bubble, I hope the rest of the day is a bit better.

magnolia1 · 10/05/2005 18:32

{{{{{{Bubble}}}}}}

I don't know what to say, I know that there are days when I think what hard work my twins are but then read a message like yours and realise just how lucky and greatful I should be.
I know that doesn't make you feel better in the slightest and I don't know what will
You are a strong and corageous woman who I feel honoured to talk to xxxxx

AngelCakeUmm · 10/05/2005 18:36

Oh bubble it must be so hard for you i am so sorry for you and your family, life really can be crap and unfair

LGJ · 10/05/2005 18:38

for you sweetheart

But you are so strong and you must stay strong for Elijah.

jambo1707 · 10/05/2005 19:06

Bubble

Be stron hun, Boe will ensure justice is done.

Thinking off you

bundle · 10/05/2005 19:08

oh bubble i'm so sorry, and feel completely useless, xxxx

Original poster
bubble99 · 10/05/2005 23:08

Y'know? In some ways it's easier to deal with because they weren't identical. What's strange is that DT1 (Elijah) is the image of DS1 and DT2 (Bo) was the image of DS2.

I met a woman who I hadn't seen since I was pregnant recently (and she didn't know I was expecting twins.) When she saw that Elijah was a boy she said..."Oh well, maybe next time you'll have a girl"

I told her that, as he was a twin and his brother didn't live, I would have been happy if he was a monkey. Male or female.

OP posts:
FrumpyGrumpy · 10/05/2005 23:13

Bubble, read your post earlier today and been thinking of you ever since. We lost a friend a few years ago who was just weeks off his 30 birthday and (as it happens) a twin. His mum said to us that when someones husband or wife dies they are called widows or widowers, when children lose parents they are called orphans but that for a parent whose child has died the pain is so deep that there isn't even a word to describe it. I hope you know that whenever you want to cry, scream, shout, laugh, be silly, worried, weak or strong there will be someone here. I'm fairly new into MN and I hope I'm not butting in (or I'll eat my fingers). Sending you love through the wires. X

FrumpyGrumpy · 10/05/2005 23:31

I don't get that male/female thing either, glad you put her straight. What ages are your monkeys?

astonished · 10/05/2005 23:39

Bubble you are amazing and your dt's death has not been in vain for the amount of campaigning you are doing even in your darkest hour is an inspiration to us all.Take care my love for you are a good mum and a truely amazing woman. May your sweetheart Bo rest in peace and may he always be rememberedxxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster
bubble99 · 10/05/2005 23:42

FrumpyGrumpy. You butt in as much as you like. My monkeys are 7, 5 and nearly 3 months old.

OP posts:
Original poster
bubble99 · 10/05/2005 23:43

Thanks, astonished

OP posts:
FrumpyGrumpy · 10/05/2005 23:50

You are inspirational bubble. Posting about it shows that. Sweet dreams and kisses to all your monkeys xxxx.

astonished · 10/05/2005 23:53

No need to thank me darling but I think of you every day. i can't begin to empathise with hwo you feel but your plight has made me feel that there is so much to fight for . i don't know if you have contacted AIMS and Beverly Beech but I am positive she would be helpful. Sending love to you all and a big fat cuddle to Elijah xx

jangus · 11/05/2005 00:24

This all makes me really sad. I feel so sorry for you and I wish so badly that Bo wasn't missing out on all you had to give him.
I missed you on here tonight, but hugs to you and yours.
xxx

throckenholt · 11/05/2005 08:02

as a twin mum who is eternally grateful her twins made it through healthily - I can only imagine what you are all going through .

I hope the pain eases a bit soon.