I'm not sure this thread was the kindest place for a discussion by a singleton mother on the merits of breast feeding and how many twin mothers "give up". However, I agree that there's defintely room for a coherent discussion on the paucity of breastfeeding support for new mothers. I'm also of the view that breastfeeding twins requires near-constant support, both phsycial and emotional, in the early weeks. This is in short supply with twins as you have to factor in the logistic struggles of caring for two babies, the very real possibility of prematurity (and the issues with poor suck reflex that accompany that) and the mother often recovering from a caesarean birth.
I know lots of twin mothers in real life. And I'm one myself. And we all planned to breastfeed our babies. And we were all in the lucky position of having maternity nurses for the first few weeks of our twins' birth. All of us planned to breastfeed for around six months and yet all of us stopped - the majority around the five or six week mark, although some were even less. Not for want of trying or because we couldn't be a*sed. We all stopped breastfeeding as we just couldn't square the struggle with the logistics of caring for the twins in every other area. I personally battled on until four months, but this was largely with expressed milk and the occasional top up feed of my rather puny, thin milk - had I not had my hospital grade expressing machine at home I doubt I would have made it past two weeks. I was on my knees with exhaustion, frustration and fear by this point.
For me, the reality of breastfeeding twins was totally different to anything I'd read in the twin books or how I imagined it would be. I had no idea about weak suck reflexes and how long it can take to develop these in a premature infant (once they are outside the womb) and I had no concept of how utterly demoralising and upsetting it is to be on a sofa at 3am with two screaming babies who can't latch. They're screaming at the top of their lungs because they can't latch onto you and in spite of your husband helping, your mother in law helping no one can get those babies to latch on. And the harder you try, the more angry and upset the babies get until they're in such a state they can't be calmed. And in the end you 'cave' and your mother in law grabs a bottle of milk whilst you struggle with the acute sense of failure at how you've failed your babies. For all your plans and high ideals you can't even do the basics and breastfeed your babies.
I think unless you've ACTUALLY been the mother, sitting there trying to feed two babies at the same time then you have NO concept of how hard it can be to feed twins. I got very upset at friends who had their singletons and would say things like "my health visitor says I've got enough milk for twins" as if that was all you needed to make a blinding success of breastfeeding multiples. Unfortunately, as I learnt to my cost, it has b*gger all to do with how much milk you've got and how much you'd like to do it and a lot more with the basic, brass tacks of the nightmare logistics of caring for twins.
All twin mothers do their utmost to do the best by their babies. That we often fall short of our expectations is a source of much personal disappointment and guilt. No twin mother needs to be reminded by a singleton mother of how she has "given up" or "failed" at breastfeeding. The chances are she's beaten herself up about it already.
ck2409 the screaming DOES stop. Mine screamed whatever they did in the early days. They screamed if I put them in the bath, changed their nappy, lay them down, picked them up. If they waited longer than a nanosecond for their milk they erupted into violent, screaming rage. Two tiny babies with bright red heads, rigid bodies and mouths as wide as the mont blanc tunnel. And my husband and I shell shocked and panicked and running around like headless chickens. It was highly unpleasant as we felt as if we were doing something wrong. We weren't - all babies cry when they have to wait and twins cry more as they often have to wait a bit longer. It's not nice for them but it's the reality of twins and there isn't anything you can do as parents. You're doing the best you can as quickly as you can and they do get used to that. It DOES improve though so don't despair - they do learn patience. An older (and wiser) twin mother once told me (in the early days when I was really struggling with the guilt) that no baby is born with patience but twins have to learn it from the start, and that's no bad thing in the long run. Patience doesn't come naturally to babies and so you get a lot of screaming but in the long run you'll end up with babies who are much more patient than a singleton, which makes things heaps easier when they are a bit older. So the screaming is awful, but they do get used to it and they do grow out of it. Dummies help in ekeing out babies when they have a screaming fit, as does a good cot mobile. I found putting a baby under the Tiny Love mobile (has bright and black and white animals and plays horrible plinky-plonk mozart, etc.) would stun them into goggle-eyed concentration and would buy me ten minutes to tend to the other twin/timebomb. If you haven't got one of these then buy one (or two!!) as they are a godsend and far better than the pretty pastel ones that look nice but do nothing.
Good luck and hang in there.
Although things are tough for both twins and parents in the early days, the benfits far outweigh any of the small initial negatives and you have to remember that. They might get less of you and have to wait a bit longer for things but they'll never know any different. All they'll know is a life with a constant companion and love.
Kx