School uniform and identical twins

[alphadaydreamer]

How best to approach school uniform and secondary school with two very identical Boys, who refuse to wear anything similar to one another and have very distinct personal styles?
I think the idea of dressing alike will be very difficult for them. Any advice?

I'm not looking for a way round it because it is a forgone conclusion that it will happen. I was just asking if anyone else had id twins who are completely opposed to dressing alike who are joining a school with a strict uniform policy and how this affected their children's view of themselves and each other not how other people perceive them.

What the begorrah are you questioning, alpha? I'm sorry but I'm completely baffled. You say it's not the practical question of whether they can be told apart and slightly poo-poo people who suggest "obvious" steps you have already thought of such as different haircuts. You state that they are uncomfortable with the idea of wearing the same uniform but say will get over it. You also say that they are confident in their own identity, happy alone and apart, have friends and are generally, from the sound of it, lovely happy boys. I genuinely can't find a problem here to listen to or try and advise on. Sorry.

I cant see that peole would ercieve them any different just because they are dressed the same, especially if their personalities quite different, I think the majority of people can see past matching jumpers tbh.

Sorry,I seem to have lost the art of spelling tonight

Why do you think they will view themselves and each other differently because they are wearing the same uniform? They are the only two people likely to have no problems whatsoever knowing who is who. If you were worried that they would be mixed up or treated as a unit by others and this would affect them negatively I could undertand, but you say others' reacrions are not the issue...

In my experience and this is only my experience my Boys find it very 'weird' their word not mine when they see id twins above a certain age dressed the same,I have to agree with them I think it looks odd too (above a certain age) and I was hoping someone on here may have been able to tell me how their id twins felt when they first put on school uniform and in effect dressed the same. That is my question and why I am not particularly interested in socks and pencil case, I am fully aware how to draw upon differences etc.

Well, as I say, mine don't seem too bothered but do make an effort to customise their uniforms as far as the rules allow.

I get the identically dressed older twins = weird and mine have never intentionally dressed to match each other- but surely school uniform is the exception that proves the rule? The whole point of uniform is that no one gets to choose, so it's hardly weird a la 67 year old id twins dressed the same from hair slide to ankle socks, is it?

I don't know because mine haven't had to wear it yet, that's what I'm asking, all I know is that they wouldn't dream of dressing in anything similar and uniform is bound to be a shock.

Well, I hope it works out for them.

It is not a molehill! I am married to an identical twin and sometimes they loved it if people mix them up and sometimes they hated it. They did switch classes a lot just because they could. Did they enjoy being identical? I would say yes on the whole. But my DH came out with something tonight which made me realise that he feels like a freak show half the time. He is supposed to travel to London with his brother on Saturday and he has said he just hates it when they have to travel on the train together because people just stare. I think until you have actually lived it, you don't realise what they have to go through.

". I think until you have actually lived it, you don't realise what they have to go through"
I think candlewax is right and before anyone says anything this doesn't necessarily relate to my question I just agree with her on this point.

I spoke to my 30 year old brothers tonight, they said...

Uniform was ok as no one really wears it in the same way, so even though all dressed the same, they all looked different. They were mixed up occasionally but as they had different classes and different friends, most of the time the were just themselves as teachers and friends only knew them in their classes and got to know their differences. They mixed it up sometimes and sat in each others classes but mostly got caught out

My brothers are very identical and love it, they still like to mix it up (boys never grow up, do they) and they can still make my mum, sisters and me do a double take but again, we catch them out eventually

I would say, you and your boys shouldn't worry too much. Life is better for twins now and everyone knows the importance of indivuality, their personalities and style will make them different

So we have to actualy "live it" to understand. Including me, many of these answers have been given by people with experience of twins. My boys never even questioned the fact that they wear a school unifrom. I agree with Scrummy. Tough s**t, wear the unifrom, thats life!

I can see where you're coming from. My id girls are only 3.5 but already have very definite styles and hate it when they are confused and when people refer to them as the twins. I think they will find it very hard when they start school to be confused so easily and to have to wear the same thing.

I've never dressed them the same and hate the thought of having to do so.

Their hair is curly like DH's and stubbornly refuses to grow so identifying them by hairstyle is difficult.

We have spent so long dressing them differently that it will be very wierd to have them dressed the same.

Hope they are okay with it. It must be harder when they get to teenage years and really struggle with the classic teenage struggle of working out and projecting to the world who they are. Harder still for identical twins where people are not sure which one you are/can't remember/don't bother to try to remember.

Coochybottom you are entitled to your opinion but "Tough s**t, wear the unifrom, thats life!" Does seem a little insensitive to me. But none the less its missing the point I was making, which Hattyyellow has grasped perfectly, And equally I think you should respect Candlewax's opinion based on her own experience. Just because you and your children didn't question a situation shouldn't disallow other people from doing so, yours isn't the only way.

But EVERYONE has to wear the uniform. So whats to question?

In your case nothing as you have made perfectly clear, just allow other people to question things you don't see as important, we don't all have the same approach to life as you.

Oooh alpha-coochy is not the only one to think there is no debate. I think you are enjoying this.

I understand exactly what you are saying Alpha, this has recently been a topic of conversation at our twins club. How weird it will feel dressing id twins the same having spent their whole lives avoiding this. Transferring to 'big' school has its own pressures and finding yourself doing that which you have never done-dressing identically to your ds or db will be strange.