School uniform and identical twins

[alphadaydreamer]

How best to approach school uniform and secondary school with two very identical Boys, who refuse to wear anything similar to one another and have very distinct personal styles?
I think the idea of dressing alike will be very difficult for them. Any advice?

"I don't understand this really because everyone will be dressed the same."

Its not an issue unless you are an identical twin.

and school bags.

seriously, this isn't a twin thing. uniform....think about the word itself.

kids do what they can to make themselves individuals within the uniform system.

there is a local girls school - who obviously have all uniform requirements down to the letter...exept socks....yes they are all white with they all wear those trainer socks so you can't see them in their shoes - Rage against that machine!

alpha do you secretly enjoy the fact no one can tell them apart?

You are entitled to your opinion, I'm just saying that as a mother if identical twins it is an uncomfortable concept-dressing your children alike, and of course it's obvious that all children find a way to personalise school uniform, but that is not really what I am talking about. I am struggling to vocalise a more subtle or abstract feeling.

I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill!!!

In answer to your first question ...no and second never mind, its a feeling not a mountain or a mole hill.

I have id boys too and feel its just a fact of life for them albeit an annoying one! I have never dressed them the same until they had to wear uniform to school. It never crossed my mind it being a problem. It did take me a while to get used to telling them apart in it though! How do your boys feel about it?

They are uncomfortable with the idea of dressing alike, my original question was asking if anyone else had experience of this and asking how they dealt with it. I'm not overly interested in the endless advice about socks and haircuts, thats obvious, I'm more interested in how anyone has dealt with the emotions aroused when dressing id twins the same.

I have IDd twin girls, at the moment they are only 16m, and when they were smaller, until about a year really I dressed them the same, mainly because we got given matching outfits and it was just easier for me to get two sets of clothing and put them on. I didn't really care if people could tell them apart, I could.

Now they're getting older, dressing them the same is starting to make me feel a bit like you ALPHA, a bit uncomfortable, to me i feel like I'm doing them some wrong - as if dressing them the same detracts from their individual personalities. That said, I do still do it if it's all that's clean and I still like them dressed similarly, but that's more to do withthe type of clothes I like. I hadn't even thought of the school uniform issue, I guess being girls it'll be easier to do their hair differently.

As far as uniform goes for your boys, they're going to get mixed up, none of th teachers will see them together for long enough to be able to tell them apart anyway, and they might not have many classes together so different clothing isn't going to make a jot of difference.

It seems no one else on here seems to understand where you are coming from. Perhaps if they had had to wear uniform from the start they would not mind so much. The only time my boys wore the same top to tennis I think they actually enjoyed the attention from the coaches who didnt know who was who! I actually havent enjoyed the attention having twins has brought but I suppose they dont know any different.

Is there no leeway on customising uniform round the edges at all? My non-id boys tend to wear different coloured polo shirts (there are 2 acceptable polo neck colours) under different styles of jumper (one v-neck one not, sort of thing) and they always have different shoes, bags etc. They are at primary school though and there is a bit of flexibility.

I totally sympathise with the issue- my boys get minorly frustrated when people mix them up, which happens more often than you would think, even though they look quite different from each other. It must be one of the real difficulties for id twins, I'd have thought. If the uniform code is really strict I guess different hair cuts, school bags, shoes, etc. They don't wear glsses, do they? Contrasting spec styles would be a good instant differentiator.

I disagree that there isn't that much scope for hair difference, and I think it would be the easiest way to solve the problem, long term. I do agree that it needs to be dealt with to, I can remember twin girls at my school and it was really hard to form friendships when I never was quite sure who I was talking to!

My twin boys aren't ID, and actually are very different but until I stopped cutting dt2's hair they would still get mixed up. dt1 has a short back and sides, typical boys cuit. dt2 has a sort of pudding bowl style. Instantly people can see the difference.

I actually have three boys and my third has a boden/surfer boy/shaggy style cut so they all have very different looks.

All the above is true, although to chopstheduck I have to say what I'm talking about is not how other people perceive them but how they see themselves in relation to each other.

Well, what do they say the main issues are? Have you discussed it with them or are you just expressing your own (understandable) worries? They'll be in different classes, I'm guessing? Will that be a shock for them or are they used to being apart? I'd have thought that being in different classes will help with people telling them apart and with their continuing to forge their own identities and friendships too. I guess all you can do is let them bring up any fears and issues and listen.

As I said before they are uncomfortable/ unhappy with the idea of wearing identical clothing, having never done this for obvious reasons. We will get over this I am just curious if anyone else has had similar concerns of their own or if their children have had similar concerns. They are confident Boys and happy together or apart with their own set of friends and also shared friends so that isn't the issue.

I think many twins like to look different from each other, yes. Must say though, that I'd thought that was connected to them finding a balance between enjoying their twinship and forging their own separate identities. If your boys are happy and confident about all that already then perhaps the uniform won't be such a big problem after all, especially if other people can still tell them apart via their different accessories?

it might be a problem if they were the only ones being dressed the same, but as everyone else will have the uniform on too, I would have thought this would help them get over it. I think you are worrying too much!

I am not worrying too much I was asking if anyone else had encountered this situation and if so how they dealt with it.

Different hair styles
Different bags/pencil cases
Different watches
Different socks

If they have very distinct pesonalities I imagine the teachers will figure hem out soon enough.

I'm sure they will but that's not what I am questioning/

I have identical twin girls, have never dressed them in identical clothes, in fact they wont even share thier clothes, they started school in September, they each have a selection of school uniforms that they choose each morning, they include, a grey skirt, a black skirt, black trousers, black and grey tights, black and grey socks, so they are always dressed slightly differently, slghtly more difficult for boys I suppose, though I think, different coats, hats, lunchboxes, shoes will be enough, I bet they wont be bothered by lookin similair when they see all children dressed alike.

I can't see anyway round it other than that though.

Just get them used to the idea by gradual drip drip type info until the time comes when they start.

Other than choosing a different school, I don;t see there is really much more that can happen.

Couldn't it be more subtle.At my DS's senior school,they are allowed Dark Grey or Black Jumpers and Trousers,perhaps if that was the same,one could wear black trousers and jumper and the other one Dark Charcoal grey Jumper and Trousers?

Sorry did not read your post properly, assumed they were just starting school