Tiggs, of course you feel sorry for him. You have been with him for so long and been through so much with him, your feelings must be all over the place.
But he totally and utterly proved by his reaction today that you have done the right thing.
I love marriage, I believe in marriage, and I believe that any marriage has hope and can change for the better. But that can't happen if only one person is willing to do that. Both people have to commit to it and to working it out. Even the best woman in the world cannot make a marriage work by herself.
So maybe one day you may be reconciled, but he has to come a long way and show how willing he is (counselling, giving up something if it was getting in the way, etc) before you can think about that. So for now, your part is over, you have to commit to yourself and your children, and leave the rest to him. I don't know him or his circumstances enough but I believe in you enough to know that if you could have made it work, you would have.
I know you know that already, but it's good to hear it again, ain't it?
And I was praying for you today and this is what I thought:
He's had you, and you could have conquered the world together. But he chose to take advantage instead of becoming a better person, and taking instead of giving as much as he took. He's tried to pull you down instead of allowing you to help him up, and neither of you can carry on like that. You're exhausted from him draining you, and he's been living on someone else's strength instead of finding his own. The only way you can help him is by cutting off the artificial life support and letting him find his own way.
Hope that makes sense.
xxxxxxx