Hello - 11+3 pg with triplets - still in shock

[Honeymama]

Naturally conceived, no history of multiples in either family, and we already have a 2yr old daughter - so rather surprised and if I'm honest, not entirely happy. We only wanted one more to complete our family, plus I'm 37 so hardly fresh as a daisy! Still early days so I'm still swaying from thinking we could manage three more, to thinking it would be ridiculous to attempt it. But until we see the consultant on Monday we don't really have a clue what our options are - except the two very obvious ones - keep or don't keep.

Sorry if I sound a bit negative but hormones are all over the shop, my mw is on holiday, only found out when away from home due to a bleed so there's been no support so far. Parents are saying they'll support us whatever we choose but have been making fairly obvious comments like "well, if you were younger and it was your first pg..." and "you can say you miscarried, everyone will understand" etc etc which isn't very helpful. Not sure what I want to hear but I'm finding online forums the only place where I can let it out - we haven't told any friends yet so I feel rather isolated.

Thanks for listening x

"Motley, mad, multipple mums.......and proud"!

pmsl @ triplets. I feel like we are hairs on the giants arse we call life

congratulations and welcome to the wonderful world of multiples. DS1 was 3.3 when dts were born and they are just 9 mths.

Hard but worth it and I have seen bits of the Jackie Clunes programme and it is great.

I know it is confusing I have just miscarried and would have had 3 under 16mths and that scared me in the world of a bigger car and a triple pushchair.

Stick with us on the multiple thread - they are a good lot

Sh*t Oooggs I had no idea . Hope you are ok.

No personal experience but my nephew and his wife had twins in the spring, meaning they had four dc under 4. My sister (nephew's mum) was v disapproving, which made me as I couldn't really see what they were supposed to do about it!!

Anyway, they are a delightful family, albeit a bit squashed in a two bed house, and very very happy with their lot.

Forgot to say on my first post, I was like you in that I only ever planned to have TWO children. I felt smug in the knowledge that cars / houses / holidays etc would be easier as we would only have two, and not three like my sister and various friends (silly I know to feel smug about something like that anyway ).

Anyway, so now we will have three, and the whole way through the pregnancy I have been terrified of anything happening to one or both babies, despite not "wanting" two initially.

Oh Marsy, high praise..........it would be a good title though

Hi HoneyMama
Just to add my tuppence worth (and to say thanks to those who recommended my book!) - I know it is very scary right now. Personally I was horrified too. Our DD1 was 19 months when they were born (just 11 months when they were conceived!)
I don't know which hospital you are at but they will probably refer to a procedure called Selective Reduction, which is where they abort 1 or 2 of the fetuses depending on what you want and what combination you have (if you have an identical pair you can't get rid of just one of them I think so it would have to be both or the singleton which was terminated). From my experience consultants vary greatly in their enthusiasm for this procedure. There is a small risk of miscarriage of the entire pregnancy, and actually there is not much evidence to suggest that reducing from 3 to 2 or 1 is safer in terms of guaranteeing the pregnancy continues.
If you decide to go ahead/nature allows you to have 3, it will be the biggest trip of your life. I cry with frustration some days but it is so worth it and I wouldn't change a thing. we are a special family, and our Christmas dinner table was hilarious.Good luck.
Jackie Clune

Oh I feel embarrassingly excited to see you on here Jackie as I watched your prog and was so impressed with how you seemed to breeze through your pregnancy and cope so well with your four lovely children! I often remind myself of the programme when I lie awake at night fearing the arrival of the twins!

WOW!!!!!!!!!

I am in shock

Hehehe, in shock that someone as fabulous as Jackie / SoftWanstead has spoken to us? Or about something else entirely???? Hope I am not alone in being in slight awe .

I seem to remember I was most impressed on the programmes with the breastfeeding of all three [bows down].

Gosh, we are indeed in awe and honoured, I fully agrre with all you have said, it is exhausting, but they are three times the trouble and three times the joy, its the DH who is more trouble!!!

I am not multiple mum but wanted to say congratulations to you and i too like Egg am kind of excited as a Jackie fan!!!

Oh dear she'll never come back now. She's just like one of us, only a little more witty!!!!

yes egg shocked that someone like Jackie Clunes would pop in

Next you pop by Jackie.... try the d'y ever threads. A few more triplet mums there and us mere mothers of twins! Kettle's on love... what you waiting for?

Hi Honeymama i conceived naturally with triplets identical girls and a boy i already had three children aged 4 + 9 +14 it has been hard work but fantastic a big family is great fun my triplets are now 4 years old and have just started school i survived the baby stage and now i NEARLY miss it.

hi softwanstead ha ha did you recieve my badly written letter and photos.

Dear All
brain addled after walking round shop to buy new bra for dd day b4 return to school, any of you know just how embarressed a 13 year old can be in lingerie shop? however what is name of jackie clunes book I would like to buy it for my little library I have to lend to twin parents in my antenatal classes?

Galaxymummy, the Jackie Clune book is called Extreme Motherhood.

Honeymama, how did you get on with the consultant today? Have been thinking of you.

Any news from Honeymama?

I'm back, and just about able to type. The consulant was lovely yesterday (at Royal Sussex) and basically outlined the three options and told me how risky a triplet pg is. Got to say he didn't push me in any one direction but to be perfectly honest, I know keeping 3 isn't a valid option for us. In my daydreams I think it could be done, but my dh is really not up for it and I worry that it would end our otherwise wonderful partnership. Plus I have my demanding 2.5yr old to think about. We have friends around but not the kind who will offer much assistance (I know them too well!) and our families are in miles away in either direction.

We discovered that there are indeed a set of identical twins and one singleton, so the suggestion currently is to reduce the twins, as that is a risky pg in itself. It's destroying me to think about getting rid of any of my babies - they were all wriggling around and are all growing well but I also know it would potentially destroy my marriage and family that I have to go ahead. It doesnt' help that I'm only 5ft 2 and have a back problem to boot - I became enormous when pg with my daughter so can't begin to imagine how it could be with 3.

I'm off for the nuchal scan and possible reduction on Thurs - apparently it's the Professor of the Harris Birthright who performs it so I'm in the most capable hands I suppose. Small comfort. I want to find out more about keeping two and just what risks are involved (I'm aware of TTTS) so we can come to the right decision on Thurs. I just hope that I can end up with at least one baby at the end of it all (yes, I'm also aware of the miscarriage potential in reduction).

This feels like hell on earth right now, but thank you so very much for all your words and thoughts. Even a message from Jackie Clune! I'm reading your book right now - the first few pages are almost identical to what we went through, except, we really can't do it. I so admire all you ladies who do and wish it was possible for us, however we've got to do what's right for us, so reduction looks like the 'best' option.

Sorry to go on, I'll be back on again, probably not for a few days though.

Love Emm x