D'y ever wonder when it is going to stop snowing??

[Chopstheduck]

Morning girls xx

School is on thank goodness, but not til 10, and dh is wfh

The doctor told my Dad today that he has a very aggresive form of cancer that is untreatable. It has spread from his jaw bone into his brain. He came out from seeing the doctor with my brother (me and mum were not allowed in according to Dad) and said 'bloody hell thats a shock.' My Mum turned into a shivering, trembling wreck. He has to stay in hospital for a couple of days and then, because we have insisted him and Mum are going home. They are getting help from McMillan nurses and a district nurse for mum. I hope and pray, with all my heart, that they go together, in their sleep, with their arms around each other. Very, very horrible day. My Dad said...'Eh love dont be sad, you have a broken heart because of your boys dying....this is normal love we are old, they had no life xxxx

oh shabs- speechless and in tears for you here, your dad is correct, but its very hard for all involved. ((((hugs))))

We took him half a dozen whisky minatures tonight to the hospital....sneaked them in like bloody burglars!!!! To be honest after Matt was killed his drinking was excessive and I think that has been part of this problem. When we were driving back from the hospital my brother said 'Just nipping in the off licence Dad' - when he went in he texted me and said 'I know its wrong but what do you think about this plan?' I agreed with him. The look on Dads face when we were sneaking the bottles in was hysterical.

Who cares? To be a rebel for the last part of your life is important. I hope he has supped all 6 tonight and is pissed as a fart. The sight of his grandsons - Danny (31 years old) my nephew Nathan (25 years old) and my Tom (15 years old) teasing their Grandad and making him laugh is priceless.

Oh Shabs.........I think you knew what the outcome was going to be, but it is still the most awful words to hear. I think too that when they are so brave it makes it all the more heartbreaking. Do you remember when I lost my darling Dad in 2000, he went into hosp with a suspected heart attack, was diagnosed 48 hours later with terminal cancer? The doctors told him on his own and then came out and told us. I ran out of the hospital and shook and shivered and cried. My brother came and found me and said I had to go back in, Dad wanted to see me. I could hardly walk into the ward............he was sat up in bed eating a bowl of semolina. I knelt by his side and he said
"Anne love, no more tears, I have watched you cry for six years.....promise me."
Oh sod the bloody disease...........I have just rec`d a message tonight that a dear friend on the Macmillan site has lost her battle too, I met Alison in London two years ago, now there is only Harry and Bob left.

Shabs I know Macmillan are good, but through friends in the similar situation I hear that Marie Curie are excellent. If there is anyhting I can do..........you know where I am. Sending you the biggest biggest hug.................xx

I do remember your Dad passing Trips.xxx I am boiling, boiling hot. Have turned off the central heating so Derrick is sat with a quilt over him - I just have a tshirt nightie on but I am burning hot. Not eaten anything today - not hungry. I hope my Dads passing is quick - I really cant bear to see him in such pain.

Imagine the people waiting for him (and my mum when her time comes) His beloved Mum - Grandma Bella....she had him when she was about 44 and didn't even know she was pregnant. He was her only baby and he hated being an only one. His father was horrible....a tough coal miner. He used to say to my Dad that he would smack him if he cried..only girls cry.

So Grandma Bella, her three sisters Auntie Nelly, Auntie Martha and Auntie May all eager to see him again, and there jostling to the front of the queue Gareth & Matt. What a reunion that will be xx

Ay it will be.............oh Shabs, it is heart breaking xx
kale nits my friend xx

shabs, so sorry to hear such terrible news. Your dad sounds an amazing man, and I wish him peace in his final days and passing xxx

Loving the rebellion though

Morning girls xx

Thank you for all your support - it means so much. xx

You have been inside my head all day my friend xx

Shabs - love the idea of the whisky, and I hope that any staff worth their salt would ignore his little bottles of comfort. Shame on them if anything is said.

He put the little bottles in his slippers in his locker. Ward sister saw them and said 'Oh Harry are these bottles of vinegar love 'Yes Sister!!' replied my Dad. She just walked off smiling x

great

Hi .........Shabs :) that is lovely.............are they offering any form of treatment, is your Dad in any pain? I so hope they get things organized and get him home asap. There is lots of good help out here, ask and push. So wish you were not going through this. xx

he has an amazing Doctor who said....If I operate there is a strong chance you wont survive the anesthetic....and I wish that I could get this bastard cancer out of your face BUT that would mean taking half your brain with it and I refuse to do that to you. Dad grinned when he called the cancer 'a bastard.' Doctor said it was very agressive and that he would be given morphine. BUT that he needed to get home to his family and his wife and they are going to provide daily Macmillan nurses. Mum has been so difficult today - she has asked me the same question at least 500 times. I have not got angry but stayed calm and repeated the same answer - I am so tired I cant go to sleep....and this is just the fourth day! xx

meant to say Trips - my Dad is in agony. When they examined him they gently touched the side of his face and my brother said he screamed over and over with the pain.

Forgive me for saying this, especially if anyone on here is religious BUT Dont ever tell me there is a kind and loving God - because if there was stuff like this would not be happening.

Shabs your poor Dad...........I will never forget the awful awful pain my mum was in those last 4 days, it was very cruel. Do you know when he can come home? How is Tom dealing with it? Wish I was nearer............night night Shabs ....xxx

Oh Shabs. My heart is breaking for you. I hope your dad can come home soon and spend time in peace with you all.

Morning girls xx

I have been upfront with Tom - told him the absolute truth. He was quiet for a few minutes and then said 'I hope they let him come home soon because I have to go and talk to him. I had warned school a couple of weeks ago just in case it was the news we got. I asked them to keep an eye on him for me. He came home yesterday and said he had told Miss Thorpe his favourite, favourite teacher. I was just packing his bag up for today and found this note in his journal.....Toms Grandad has cancer which is sadly incurable. If Tom needs time out from his lessons please allow him that short time and he can come to me in my room. Thank you for your understanding, Miss Thorpe.'

that is all so sad, shabs :(

Wishing Tom strength through this, and I do hope he comes home soon. x

I'm glad Tom has support at school, but you also need some support Shabs, are you getting any at all??

No love.....except for my lovely friend Chelle. Im not great in accepting support...like to just get on with it myself - I know its daft but its just the way I am love xxx

We have organised Macmillan nurses today and hoping that he can come home tomorrow. Macmillan nurse said 'Have you any questions Harry?' 'Yes love...I love my Rugby and its on Saturday afternoon - any chance I will be watching it at home on my own new posh telly?' She grinned at him and said 'Every chance sweetheart - I will do my best to make that happen and I cant see why it wont.'

She sound lovely Shabs, how is your poor Mum coping, does she fully understand? I had abit of a shock last night, got a message from Harrys sister to say her dh had been in for a colonoscopy y/day and they had removed 6 large polyps, sent them off for analysis. I phoned tonight to find out more and app he had lost alot of blood last NOV and hadnt said anything. He is already awaiting a triple heart bypass and starts radiotherapy on an ear tumour in 2 weeks time! When you are in your 40s you dont really have to deal with things like this, once you get to 50s and 60s everyone around you seems to have health problems. Endless. We went to Canterbury today and had just finished lunch in M&S when the school phoned and said James wasnt well could we come and collect him. Another viral bug, hot, dizzy etc so no school for him tomorrow. Night girls, hug to you Shabs xxx

Mum is exhausting. She forgets to eat which makes her Alzheimers much worse. She goes from being totally OK to like a little scared girl. I look after her all day and take her afternoon visiting...then back to mine till 6.30 when my brother takes her to evening visiting. Last night and tonight she has decided that she wants to go to her own home and sleep there. It has improved things a lot because she is surrounded by her own things and with her own bed. She was sleeping at mine. She rang me twice tonight and said 'Where's Harry' I told her to get some paper and a pen....she can still easily read and write thank God. I told her to write 'Harry is in Bolton hospital, but coming home soon and is doing well'...then 10 minutes later she rings and says (very normally) 'Oh love it is your 35th wedding anniversary soon what would you like me to get you.'

Poor love - must be crap wandering in and out of the present xxx