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[ladymuckbeth]

Here we go. More unexpurgated chat about our darling angels, all of whom are gifted and have exceptionally calm and admirably-coping parents.

[ladymuckbeth]

Just a quickie girls; tis late here in sunny Crete - had a dramatic day with DH cutting his foot open, after having spent the morning helping a fellow hotel guest who fell over and was concussed; he then was also taxied to the hospital and walked in to join her in the A&E queue I have never seen so much of his blood; was gruesome!

In other more positive news, hotel is lovely and we look set to have a really relaxing break. I had no idea but the hotel offers 2 hours of free creche every day between 5-7pm, which actually works really well because we're tending to hang out with the girls in the morning on the beach, give them lunch, they are exhausted so going for a sleep 3-5ish (giving me the chance to relax by the pool for a bit - first time ever this seems to have happened!) and then having a couple of hours in this lovely playroom painting and larking about, then we all go for dinner putting them down to sleep at about 9pm. It's the first holiday the set-up seems to really "work" for us. Also it's 4euros for half a litre of really nice white wine - what's not to love?! :)

Okay, must get to sleep........ although wanted to say Kate so loving your style re. the cuddlies, am storing up your anecdotes for when we move the girls into beds. Which is soon.

[KateShmate]

mucky Your holiday sounds like total heaven!
Firstly, and most importantly, the wine - brilliant! Drink bottles of the stuff and take some home with you too!
Loving the sound of the kids club - that routine is exactly what we used to do pre-triplets with DD1 and DD2 too. They would have a sleep and we would just lie and relax out of the sun, and then late out for dinner.
Never used a kids club before, but that timing sounds absolutely perfect!
Your poor DH and his foot? Is he back yet? Many stitches? Hope its not too painful!

ALL Hahahahahaha, what gives you that impression?
Train technique sounds very similar - maybe a 'train fanatics' option for the 'cuddly technique' !!

Forgot to say with food, we don't do the 'finish every last morsel before pudding' - I feel like its encouraging them to eat when they aren't hungry, and just stuffing it down.
As long as mine eat most of their dinner, but are 'bored' (IYKWIM?) by the rest then they can have pudding.
I always think that sometimes I don't want to finish my dinner, but still want pudding, so go with that :)


Have an amazing rest of holiday mucky Still jealous!!!

[tartiflette]

Sounds absolutely ideal mucky - enjoy

No I don't insist on finished plates either (chance would be a fine thing). Just that if they piss off halfway through main course they don't get anything else.

I'm close to putting mine in beds now. Kate have you found it's had any impact, positive or negative, on night waking? Ever since our holiday in mid August we've been up at least twice every night - mostly it is just dummy-replacement but sometimes just they cry for us and we have to go in for a quick settle. It's driving us both mad. I know I should get rid of the dummies, everyone else I know has. I just fear they would NEVER sleep

Laughed out loud at your boys and their train snuggling ALL

[KateShmate]

Hmm, maybe a positive impact on night waking; but I would say that this is mainly because they are going straight to sleep when they go to bed rather than messing around for hours, thus not actually relaxing and falling asleep of their own accord. I don't know if that makes sense, but its kind of like how adults who read quietly before bed have a more rested nights sleep, compared to those who do maybe energetic things (can't think of an example!) before sleep. They used to spend up to 2.5 hours a night messing around in their cots.

We still haven't got rid of dummies yet - really need to but something always seems to crop up as to why we can't. DTrips don't really wake up in the night for dummies because they still have their Wubbanubs and so don't lose them, but with DD2 (DD1 a thumbsucker) we found that after the initial first nights, she slept more soundly because she wasn't waking to find the dummy, if that makes sense?

[AtLongLast]

That's interesting Kate - that they go straight to sleep in beds after messing about in cots. Ours have recently started to take a while to get to sleep at times. Not that they're making noise / causing chaos but we think they've gone then we hear the gentle squeaking of a train as it shunts a few trucks , or some random conversation. Had a google & loving the Wubbanubs!

Sounds mostly great LadyM! How's dh doing? I hope you're not having to look after all 3 now?

Have you seen the new staffroom in Education Tarti?

Dp has his first night away tomorrow . Planning a relaxing, smooth bedtime for kiddies, a film then a stretch out in bed . Dp has wangled a flexiday on Friday so can't complain. Stupid car is in the garage again though so we might not get far .

[KateShmate]

I think its because they weren't being 'naughty' when they were in their cots - it would be pretty mean to go up and tell them to stop talking! They were never loud/screaming/shouting or anything, just quietly chatting - we didn't ever really mind it. But when they first went into beds they were quite silly - getting into each others beds etc. We did the 'sit in room/leave for 10 mins' routine, which worked really well to begin with; now we've moved on to the 'cuddly' routine - they rarely chat, just get into beds and lie quietly for max of 20 mins before dropping off. Sometimes I go up now at about 8/8.30ish and 1 is still awake, but not being naughty just lying quietly whispering to teddies, if 1 was awake before then they would be all awake having a party!
Yep Wubbanubs are the cutest but best invention ever!

We're currently wrapping presents for our beautiful DD2 who is 5 tomorrow! Her exact words were 'But mummy, my eyes are just soooo excited that they can't close... so I can't go to sleep!'

[AtLongLast]

Happy birthday DD2! I hope you've all had a lovely day and she managed to close her excited eyes for a little while - bless! They are funny. Ds1 woke up a few weeks ago & told me his eyes had finished being shut now'. <br /> <br /> I was in that enviable position of being told ds1 had bitten a child at nursery yesterday <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Shock" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/assets/images/mumsnet-emojis/base/shock.png">. Though there seems to be some confusion over what actually happened. I told them he's probably modelling dd as thry hear no biting' quite a lot at the moment & both boys are copying a lot of baby behaviours. Mostly for positive feedback - so pretending to be taking first steps, blowing raspberries, being spoon-fed etc.

[KateShmate]

Thanks ALL - she had a lovely day and a lovely weekend with family and friends :)

Poor you Re. biting - always makes you feel so guilty, when actually there is nothing you could possibly have done!
I definitely agree with older ones trying to copy baby behaviour - my eldest 2 constantly did it when DTrips were smaller, and still do it sometimes now.
Maybe just emphasise the fact he is definitely a big boy now, and big boys are far more exciting :)

[Cerubina]

How is everyone? Mucky I hope the holiday has proved as relaxing as expected once the hospital visit was over. Was DH's foot OK? No holiday plans for us at the moment - as melodramatic as it sounds, the fortnight in France was so little fun for me that I just have no enthusiasm for booking anything. That's a bit defeatist isn't it? I'm sure it was just a case of making a poor choice on what we did but the bad memory still lingers on...

Not much news here apart from the evolution of walking and language skills, like having two little cave people wandering around! They give me a bit of a dilemma at bedtime when I take them upstairs - both want to climb the stairs and won't let me carry them up. But both climb reeeeeeaaalllly slowly and spend ages looking around them as they go, so to get it over with more quickly and avoid having one sitting downstairs yelling for 3 minutes while the other gets to the top I have them both on the stairs at once. This is pretty dangerous. Did anyone develop tactics for getting them upstairs without screeching and danger involved, or should I just man up and put up with the protest?

[AtLongLast]

We've always had our two on the stairs at the same time too Cerub & it can does take forever. & then they start fighting / trying to push the other out of the way cos they both want to be first! I think it's OK as long as you have the time. They get to practice & build confidence. Dd is doing stairs now but is in the only speed will do' camp!<br /> <br /> We've had a lot & nothing happening here. We're off on our caravan holiday next Friday & being hassled about food arrangements. I planned it all for Centrparcs then parents brought what I said & a shedload more. Which we got left with. Our stupid car is in the garage again. Our usual garage couldn't fix it so suggested another half way across the city. Who also decided they couldn't fix it either once they'd looked at it. Finally found a garage & hopefully it will be fixed by the weekend but we've totally lost confidence in it so are probably going to buy a new one, hopefully in time to go away with <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Hmm" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/assets/images/mumsnet-emojis/base/hmm.png">. Need some convoluted plan to retrieve our car when fixed since we can't all fit in my car (which has also been in for repairs this week!). <br /> <br /> Littlies have all been full of snot for ~3 weeks now & we've had our roughest nights in months with them! I think they're using the discovery of need medicine' and need cuddle Mummy' to their advantage. Seem fine (if full of cold) during the day.<br /> <br /> Dd took her first steps at the weekend! Not sure we can claim she's walking' yet, but she's standing well & taking 4 or 5 steps at a time with some level of control. Odd to think ds2 has only just been walking for a year .

[KateShmate]

Yay for DD taking her first steps ALL - I would class that as walking.

Cerub Do the 2-at-a-time up the stairs, they'll be fine. Just make sure you're not carrying anything so that you can catch them if necessary.

Not had a good few days here - DD1 (6) was diagnosed with idiopathic Scoliosis yesterday. We knew it was coming really, but now it has we just seem shocked. She is far too young to start all this horrible treatment plan of braces and casts over the next 8 years. She goes in next friday for a general anaesthetic and to be fitted with a thick cast from under her armpits to below her hipbones. Just in time for half term.. She won't moan because she never does, but it still seems so horrible and drastic and just generally shit.
Most girls are diagnosed around puberty - a horrible age to be diagnosed but at least they understand! DD barely knew what a 'spine' was until yesterday, let alone the fact that she will rarely see her own stomach for the next 8 years.

[KateShmate]

Sorry for crappy post - we will be over this shittiness soon, just need to wallow in my anger for a while.

[LaVitaBellissima]

Not been posting much lately, promise to catch up soon.

Humongous hugs Kate poor DD1 , it is only natural to feel upset, angry and to why life just isn't fair you are very strong and always sound like such a tower of strength and organisation for your family, which is so wonderful. We are all here to support you when you are not feeling so great, after Emme being so poorly it must really have taken it's toll and now this, I really feel for you

I hope DD2 had a fab birthday

Well done Cora on her first steps, so cute. I saw a friends newborn the other day and was overwhelmed by how broody I felt so I won't be visiting again for a while.

Cerub I just follow them behind on the stairs, they do get faster honestly.

I am currently doing the BIWI low carb no alcohol no fruit boot camp, let's see how long I last

[Cerubina]

Oh Kate. I'm just so sorry, I can't believe that you have this to contend with on top of E's condition! It would fell a rhinoceros, don't give a second thought to expressing your anger and frustration on here.

Poor DD. I can imagine she doesn't fully understand what's going to be involved in her treatment, but does she seem at least OK with the first step, having an operation and being in plaster? It must mean she'll need so much more help with bathing and dressing etc, not to mention just "dealing" with all the ramifications. Have you got much help besides DH? I can't remember if you have an au pair or anything, sorry.

I hope the curvature is relatively minor, being caught at this stage, and that all the braces and casts won't be too much of a burden for her and you. I guess you already have your coping strategy laid out with E's condition, one day at a time etc?? It does seem so harsh for a little girl to go through but from what you say she has a positive disposition and I'm sure you'll be brilliant at helping her get the best out of it all. Again, I'm just so sorry!

Thanks for the endorsement on staircase health & safety all of you, at least I'm not unusually reckless!

[AtLongLast]

Oh Kate, I'm sorry to hear that . As Cerub says, even more a huge kick when you are dealing with E's condition too. Although I don't have experience of it, I did read a bit about it online when googling worries about ds2's spine. Is the hope that this will be preventative or is it corrective?

Good luck with your BIWI LVB .

Our lot are totally miserable with this cold. poor things. I really thought dd was off to A&E yesterday as she was so hot & her breathing weird but luckily a bit of Calpol sorted it. She I had a very disturbed night too - v unusual. & ds1 cried/ whinged / rolled around wailing for 2 1/2 hours this afternoon. I was almost up the wall. He variously wanted to stay in cot after nap... but didn't.... needed cuddles... but didn't (`not from mummy today' anyway ), wanted (or didn't want) Daddy/ Thomas Tank/ dinner/ ice pop/ story / cuddles from ds2 aaargh the list was, truely, endless .

We just heard our building work should start in a few weeks . So, in the next week or so we need to plan/choose/order a new kitchen, make sure our builder can work around the specialist company doing the important stuff, pack away our entire ground floor, (possibly buy a car)..... and then go away on holiday with all grandparents for a week . It will be ok ...

[KateShmate]

Thank you LVB and Cerub - sorry for the angered post.
Feeling okay now, its just the initial diagnosis is so shit and I didn't think they would take such drastic action straight away.
It just makes me angry that she is a beautiful innocent little 6YO whose childhood is going to be ruled by a bloody great brace/cast. I know that is slightly over-exaggerating, but even going swimming - her favourite thing ever - until she gets braces that she can take off for an hour a day, she won't even be able to swim or bath; and even when she can go there will always be a limit to what she is doing.
Cerub We haven't told her the treatment plan in full, as such, as I don't really think that, at the moment, she needs to know that she might have to be braced/casted for the next 6/8 years. But she knows that she will be going into hospital next week for the cast to be put on - its hard explaining it really. I know she is 6 and understands what a cast is, but she thinks of a cast as 'fixing things that are broken' (she broke her leg when she was 3) and then you're all fixed and the cast comes off. Its tricky explaining that its not going to come off? She is easily pleased and is actually quite excited about being promised a pink cast - I'm sure this excitement will be short-lived!
I've joined an online forum and spoken to a few other mums and they've said that children go back a few steps as they are so dependent on you having to do things for them. Even doing up her shoes and picking things off the floor because if the cast comes particularly low then she won't be able to bend well. No baths for 3/4 months, hairwashing over a sink etc etc.
I know this is going to sound incredibly selfish, but I honestly don't have the extra time throughout the day (mostly school mornings and bath time) to be doing everything for her. Of course I will make life as easy as possible for her and make time because it is her that is suffering at the end of the day, not me. I just feel horribly guilty for thinking about me and how I will cope, when she is the one who has something wrong.
But yes, we've explained the general anaesthetic - like I said, she is extremely easy going and laid back about it all. She also will never whinge about any of this - sounds brilliant, but I hate it when I can see the pain in her eyes but she doesn't want to say. I've read that sometimes the casts/braces just don't fit properly and can cause huge blisters and rub the skin raw, but I'm worried that she won't tell me - even if its a bit sore.


I can't remember whether I said or not but Emme had the operation for her Mic-button, went absolutely fine and we are really pleased. Had no issues and she has got on with it brilliantly - literally we just 'plug' her in at night, unplug her in the morning and no one knows any differently! So the past few weeks have been worry-free bliss!

One last thing (sorry, long post!) Isla and I have decided to start a new list with all the fun things that come with a brace. So far we have a few things like:

• You can play the drums on it
  
• It will keep you really warm in winter
  
• You can probably draw on it
  
• It will be funny to watch people poke her tummy and see its actually hard
  

etc etc, so if anyone has anything has any funny ideas, DD1 would be very grateful ;)

[Cerubina]

Not selfish at all to be thinking that way, Kate. Or at least, I'd be the same. You already have a very, very busy life so this is shoehorning extra work into it that I can only imagine you don't see the time and space for. The impact of I's cast will be felt a lot by you, because as you say she is going to be more reliant on you than she has been for quite a while and it must be very frustrating. You need time to assimilate and get used to the ramifications of this because it's a big change to your life and routine, so it's COMPLETELY natural to be worried, angry, and yes a bit 'why me' about it.

If you can afford it, could you get a mother's help/au pair type of person, at least to be around in the mornings and bedtimes, just to be an extra pair of hands? I would think seriously about that so you're not completely frazzled. It's very sad to think of her not being able to swim and enjoy things that she currently does. I guess you will have to be creative on coming up with other hobbies that she can get really into, I'm sure the forum you've joined will be really helpful for other mums' experience and support. I keep thinking about you and Isla since reading about it, I really sympathise and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for you.

ALL, that sounds like a really full plate. You could do without the kids being poorly at the same time - hope they are all better v v soon and the whingeing stops even sooner! Have you got basic ideas about the kitchen at least, or is it a question of deciding what you want, finding suppliers, getting a design etc? I would definitely make use of a shop that can do a mock-up design for you based on your measurements, rather than trying to design it yourself. They often factor in things you wouldn't have thought of - ours for example came up with a pull-out recycling bin in one of the units, which is really useful otherwise we'd definitely have ended up with a horrible orange bag lounging around in a corner of the room being gradually filled up during the week.

How's the diet going LVB? Am I being thick, I can't even imagine what BIWI stands for?

[KateShmate]

Thanks for the reassurance Cherub - sorry didn't mention in last post that we still have our nanny, so obviously lots of help there.
Although we don't have any family nearby, we've got lots of lovely friends who will help out with appts and everything.
DH is brilliant anyway and will just have to go into work late and/or come home early. I'm sure we'll be fine like that, but nanny is lovely and is always happy to help out earlier and at night times.
Consultant did say that she would be quite tired for a while as she's only a tiny thing and obviously the cast will be pretty heavy and bulky, and she'll be using lots of muscles that she doesn't normally use.
We are contemplating asking her about moving into her own room again - DD1 and DD2 chose to go in together when triplets went in together. Maybe we are over-thinking it, but in the summer months if she's really hot at night and can't sleep, or isn't comfy or whatever then at least we'll be able to go in with her w/o waking DD2. Would be nice for her to decorate new bedroom and pick out new bits - we need to get her a new orthopaedic mattress really.
We are going shopping together at the weekend to buy lots of new clothes - they have warned us that the cast will be pretty bulky and so she will need stretchy clothes that will cover it.
Apart from mattress, we are trying to think or any other things that we need to get in.. DD suggested some long sticks incase she gets an itchy back or tummy!

[tartiflette]

Just popped in to quickly catch up as have fallen by the wayside due to girls having a tummy bug this week and life generally being mental... But kate I'm so sorry about that diagnosis and the bloody long treatment you can see stretching ahead of you. It is just not fair. Rant away. Huge hugs, I will write more when I'm on a computer rather than silly phone.

Sorry you've had poorliness ALL. This week was the first time mine have had the same thing at the same time, other than colds, and it's been interesting!

Hi to everyone else, I'm waiting for pizza delivery (swears lavita to secrecy ) and will be having a very early night. DH has promised me a few hours' child free shopping in the morning wellheisoutonthepisstonight hurray.

[AtLongLast]

Oh Kate! Isla might be the one who will physically go through the treatment but it's going to have such an impact on you that it's more than understandable to have those emotions. &, as you say yourself - you currently have a far better understanding of the realities. I really feel for you all. Glad that you've found a forum to talk to some proper experts. If she isn't keen to move rooms at the moment then maybe you could bear it in mind if you feel she is in need of something to focus on in a few months once she is in the middle of it all? Hmm... will have a think about some positives. The only thing I can think of at the moment is to use it as a secret hidey hole for siblings small toys [evil] or a secret sweet stash.

I saw an episode of Come Dine with Me' this week where someone had a gloss red kitchen <strong>Cerub</strong>. If I were brave enough & we weren't doing it with selling in mind then I'd be v tempted by that! In terms of resale I know white gloss is good but dp has a bit of an aversion to plastic-looking' kitchens so we're almost certainly just going for an oak shaker-style B&Q jobby with a dark worksurface as our builder is going to pass his discount on to us. I had a guy from an independent kitchen place come & design last summer but I think we could get a better design. It suddenly occurred to me w could move appliance around to get the kitchen working a bit better - doh! I've done a few on the Ikea / B&Q planners so I've booked for a design consultant someone to come & do a design next week. Then work out what to do about appliances. We'd decided to go for all new integrated but we have a really nice Miele tumbly that I'm a bit loathe to get rid of so that needs a bit of thought. Ooh... bit of an essay there...

& while all the grafting is going on, I should be oop norf with the littlies - we'll have to see if we can match our diaries Tarti (though I think part of the time might be half term?) . Ugh, multiple tummies is not pleasant! Boys seem a bit better today though ds1 was complaining of having a sore ear after nap today. Dd still poorly & we were sitting in bed last night again discussing whether she needed a dr as I keep worrying it's heading towards bronchioloitis again. Have discovered another tooth today too though so hopefully that is partly explaining her discomfort.

[KateShmate]

Thanks Tarti hope to hear more from you later.

Thanks to you too ALL is lovely being so reassured by you all :) We haven't asked her about changing rooms yet - I'm not sure why..! But you're right, maybe I could suggest it when we've had a 'rough' patch! I am loving the sounds of those positives - Isla will love them!
Been feeling a bit more positive tonight and passed the angry annoyed stage, then went on another normal forum I am on and just let them know whats going on. Got loads of lovely comments and then 1 fucking annoying person saying that we should 'count our blessings' as she works with the poor people who have 'untreatable scoliosis'. And also said that Isla will lead a normal life, apart from having a brace - I am not trying to make it all out to be worse than it is, because I would do anything for her to have nothing wrong, but she isn't going to be able to lead a completely normal life because she won't even be able to get dressed on her own, put her own shoes on, wipe her own bum, pick things up off the floor. Yes she is 'normal' in the fact that she has nothing mentally wrong with her, but its still going to be a bit of a nightmare sometimes. I know it sounds like I am wanting it to be worse than it is, but I'm genuinely not - maybe its because I'm still in the panic mode of how we are going to do silly simple things, I don't know. And I can't explain it, but the way she wrote it makes it sound as though she's being all nice because she says she can give me 'tips' and bullshit like that, so no one else can see it as a bitchy comment, IYSWIM?
God, now I just sound like a paranoid, over-sensitive psycho!

Anyway, ALL gloss kitchens are really lovely though - we had one of those men come in and plan it all out too, was pretty cool! Now, I know this is going to make me sound really stupid, but could you not just request a cupboard the same size as your Miele, and just stick it in? = integrated tumbler..
I have to say, I wish we'd never gone for an integrated fridge - we had a bloody nightmare with ours.. the fridge door was basically too heavy for the cupboard door and so would pull the fridge open all the time and then it just wouldn't close properly.. it took them so many times to actually fix it, and even now you can't just slam the door shut, you have to 'push' it shut..

I know that you know this all already, but don't take any bronchiolitis queries lightly ALL - i know you've probably heard the story a million times but DD was in PICU for over 3 weeks on a ventilator after she just contracted really bad bronchiolitis - it obviously then turned into numerous other things, but thats how it started; and they constantly fobbed us off with stuff. Am not saying it to make you freak out, just aware - sorry!

[chesticles]

Hello everyone, I've been away from MN for a while. Took a break, and then didn't get back into it much (which was the point in taking a break) but I have been reading occasionally, and think I have caught up with everything.

kate I'm so sorry to hear about your DD. I've always really admired how you calmly manage with the 5 DDs and with DT3's health problems, (I'd be running round like a headless chicken with all that on my plate) and can only imagine what it must be like to have the added worry of an operation and prolonged treatment. DD sounds like a wee star. I wish there was something I could do to help. If there is anything, I know it is unlikely over the internet and a distance of 400 odd miles, please let me know. In the mean time, just use us to rant at.

Life with me is reasonably hectic. The boys (now 2 1/4) are doing well. D is talking really well, but J is still very slow. He gets speech therapy due to his cleft palate and they are pretty happy with him so that's good. They spend most of their waking hours squabling. Hopefully just a phase, but exhausting nonetheless. They are still in cots, D still has a dummy and they are miles off potty training. H (now 4 1/2)is doing really well too. The main change at the moment is DH is returning to work (after almost 2 years as a SAHD) so we are looking into nursery and childminders. For the first couple of years all his salary will go on childcare, but the job is ideal and on our doorstep and he needs to get back into the industry otherwise he'll get too out of date so he has to take the opportunity even though we will (in the short term) be financially worse off.

Hope the rest of you are doing well, have read but can't remember any specifics, but hope the bulk of illnesses are passing.

[tartiflette]

Great to see you chesti. Yours and mine are a week apart if I remember so it's nice to have an update on J&D... Glad H is doing well too . Your DH going back to work must feel like a momentous thing for all of you. I feel like my salary only barely exceeds the childcare, once the salary sacrifice vouchers come out, so I understand that feeling of only really working to keep your hand in, so to speak. How does he feel about it?

kate - I genuinely think that what you do is amazing. You mustn't let a comment from some random tactless person, clearly dealing with their own agenda, make you feel bad about your response to dd's diagnosis. Of course you feel devastated for her and all you can see are the things she won't be able to do, but of course she will come through it stronger, having the support of such a wonderful mother not to mention her fabulous gaggle of sisters - I'm actually thinking this kind of thing is where big families come into their own - imagine how much your girls will help out as they get older and how fiercely they will defend each other.
I hope all this doesn't sound too trite, I am sitting in Starbucks actually feeling tearful on your behalf that anyone would make such a comment to you.

ALL - would love to meet up, keep me posted!

[Cerubina]

Hi Chesti and welcome back! I have long wondered where you went to, very naughty to be away so long but glad you tracked us down. As tarti says, big changes afoot for you with your DH going back to work, but I hope you get used to the new order without too much trouble, and the boys enjoy going to nursery. My two really love theirs, I swear that they hate Wednesdays because they don't get to go! I wonder if being around other children and adults helps J's speech come on a bit more - I think they do blossom a bit when there are other people (especially older children) to emulate, even though I'm sure you and your DH have been doing everything you should and he's having the speech therapy too.

Kate, what tarti said is just right. Try to ignore the lone voice of non-support because it sounds as though all the positive messages should drown her out. Of course it would be worse if DD's condition was untreatable, but that's hardly to say that having a treatable but chronic condition isn't something to be angry about! Even if ultimately you do find it's not so bad, it's for you to get to that point, not someone else, and she is an idiot to think you can rush there just on her say-so. Fancy telling you to be bloody grateful..! I don't think anyone thinks you are making it out to be worse than it is or over-dramatising. She's a fool, so concentrate on all the support.

[KateShmate]

Thanks ladies :)
Ha, Chesti - what makes you think I don't run around like a headless chicken! You are so right though, DD1 is a little star.
Aww Tarti I know that you are right about other DD's helping DD1. Before E was first poorly and we didn't know what it was, we never really realized the true 'bond' between DTrips - they were only about 2.4YO but the days where E didn't even venture off the sofa, they would take everything to her - read her stories, bring her her favourite toys, do things to entertain her. We just thought they were ignore her and be bored by the fact that she stayed on the sofa all day, but it was the total opposite. If we asked them if they wanted to go to the park, they would ask for a 'DVD snuggle' and run to snuggle with E - never heard them turn down a park visit before then! Anyway, getting slightly off the point, but I know that DD's will really help keep her positive! As they are all younger, I think they will be the ones who will just carry on as normal and so keep DD1 grounded.
We talked about DD1 and the scoliosis over dinner the other night and explained it all without trying to ram it down their throats or make it sound as though she was terminally ill or something - they were all listening very intently when A pipes up with 'I can heelp wash your feet Isla' - was very sweet and funny!

Cerub I am over the anger now, but still pissed off with this one person. Everyone else had been so so lovely, and even though most said they couldn't give much advice as didn't know much about it, the one woman (in her post) just made it sound like I was totally over-dramatising it all.

Chesti E has speech therapy too and I definitely think that Nursery/Pre-school helps bring them on :)
Re. dummies/beds etc. Trips were 3 in June and they still have dummies! Ooops! They are in beds now, and we've had some funny techniques for that! J and A are doing great with potty training and planning on training E in October half term - if all goes to plan! Still a bit worried about how we will manage because of the effect of her overnight feed on her bowels.. I will say no more!