Under 1s twin post-natal group? Should we have one? Who's in?!

[PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling]

The antenatal group is nearly full, any graduates fancy joining forces to compare

Hi back to everyone I have 'met' before and to those I haven't!

I'll start with my birth story (apolos to those who have read it on the ante-natal thread!). I have DCDA boy/ girl twins.

I had my 36wk apt (I was 36+4) on 4 Jan and I was being driven crazy by itching since just before Xmas. Every square inch of my skin was itchy (including eyeballs, inside my ears!??) and I was spending so much time in the bath and slathering cream on and demanding DH scratch the soles of my feet etc etc it was really uncomfortable. I mentioned it to the Dr at my apt, and together with the fact they had noted my blood pressure had gone up, I had ++ protein in my urine, I gave blood and they noticed that the itching was linked to liver funtion problems - all in I was developing pre-eclampsia. Plus T1's growth had slowed. So they monitored my BP and the babies heart rates for an hour or so - their heart rates were fine but my BP stayed v high. So the Dr said she wanted to admit me and deliver the babies. I was really shocked as wasn't expecting it and hadn't properly finished packing my bag - hadn't even had lunch before I went to hospital. But to be honest I was quite relieved. I was prepared to be 'debating' with the Drs trying to convince them to deliver me just before 38 weeks and to agree to a c-section despite T1 being head down. Instead there was no challenge to my request for a c-section atall and it was all going to happen really soon.

So I was monitored for the rest of the day and put on nil by mouth from midnight (including no water) and put in queue for theatre. It was 11:30pm that night I went in and the babies were born just after midnight so technically made it to 36+6.

I found the section itself ok. I was shaking and retching for lots of it in reaction to the spinal but all in all it was better than I expected. We had classical music playing, the team in theatre were amazing - every last one of them. DH got to see them come out and I heard our little man let out a little cry when he came out before he was whisked off by the doc, and then our little girl was pulled out by her ankles and was shown to me very quickly, she was stretching her arms above her head and blinking away as the lights were all of a sudden v bright and then she let out a little yelp too! An amazing moment. DH went off to cut cords and see them cleaned and wrapped and brought our wee boy and girl out to see me. Neither of them needed SCBU and they were both with me the whole time in hospital. They did want T1 fed up on formula pretty quickly as he was low birth weight.

C-section recovery was gradual and it was frustrating at the time that I couldn't move well, pick them up, change them etc for a few days, but already I have forgotten most of that. DH slept with me in hosptial for the whole time I was in and did a lot of the leg work in those early days to compensate.

Look forward to chatting to you all and learning from you and passing on my experiences too.

Meant to say - my son was 4lbs 12 (T1) and daughter (T2) 6lbs.

Dt2 is a happy vomiter. We've tried all the reflux medication with no effect. The reason for that was he stopped breathing while eating and the day consultant claimed it was reflux as then they can discharge you with meds (night one and neonate paed said it was just one of those premature things). He's still vomiting while we're weaning. So far I've seen apple, spinach and avocado the wrong way.

Ladies you can all jump in "Life with Twins 3"

it's abit there atm, we need some more twin mummies

My DTs are 1 now (non id) boys and I have a 6yo DD.

I wonder if anyone with twins has ever had a straightforward normal birth, have heard about 20 stories and all exciting one way or the other. My friend had the dreaded 30 hr labour, forceps twin 1, c-section twin 2 poor girl!

Hello again Tinks. We tried to follow GF routine but had kinds have fallen into our own patterns. Currently at 17 weeks (today!) we roughly do:

630am bf twin 1, 7am bf twin 2 (he always has to be woken at 7)
Play on my bed for a bit

830am ish nap time for 1hr or so. I only put them down for nap when they show signs of tiredness though so this can vary in time. I then have a shower and breakfast

930 ish top tail and dress them, then play downstairs on playmat. If I want to delay the 1030 feed for some reason eg if I am going out to lunch I will give a quick topup either bf or ebm

1030 ish (or up to 1130 if already had a topup earlier) bf plus formula/ebm top up
Play for a bit

1230ish nap for around 2 hours in travel cot or pram if I am out.If in the house I play music (classic fm for babies, or my chillout music),close curtains and leave the room to make them sleep.

3ish bf plus formula/ebm top up, then play on mat/in bouncy chairs

430-5ish nap for about 30 mins. If they don't have this nap they get really overtired and won't take the full bottle at 630pm, so I go for a walk in pram if necessary to make them sleep.

6pm bath (together, in bath chairs in big bath)

630pm big formula bottle in nursery, then put in cots, play lullabies and leave to sleep. Usually asleep within about 15 minutes. Sometimes they used to cry when left, but we would leave them to settle and after 10 minutes or so they would fall asleep.

1030pm wake and give formula feed, sometimes they do not even wake and its a dreamfeed, and they are taking less and less of this feed.

Of course this is just the plan, not always the reality! If they are hungry between feeds I give a quickbf top up, or bring the feed forward.

We have been trying to keep them in a routine since they were 2 weeks old so they are used to it now, and seem to really understand the difference between night and day.

When they were waking for night feeds, I never bf as I did not want them to wake just for comfort, so they were given small bottles of ebm, not as big as their daytime feeds. i used ebm rather than formula as its less filling apparently so they will learn that nightime is not a time for filling up on milk. Obviously all the other nightfeed stuff such as not changing nappies unless necessary, no lights on, no talking etc.

They were in their own room from 8 weeks and there were occassions when they would not settle that they were left to settle after feeds on their own which did involve crying, but never for more than 10mins at a time. Feels like an eternity though in the middle of the night..

Wow ceeveebee you sound very organised!

I have to admit I struggle with routines myself, even though I did keep my older two in one as I think babies benefit from them, but never really tried before 12 wks.
With two much older dds it will be a bit difficult to find the perfect routine that fits in with everybody.. I think I'll leave it for a while longer.

They are going longer between feeds though and dtb has put on a massive 2 pounds in two weeks, so I must be doing stg right.

I think I might be having the youngest twins on this thread so I'll sit comfortably with tea and biscuits and take notes from all you more experienced twin mums!

Beautiful names tinks , I have an Isla and wanted freya if one of our twins was a girl!

22 days to go for me!!!

dreaming you don't have to lurk! Fire questions, I've been doing this for 6 months and I'm still finding other peoples schedules really helpful!

Tink what lovely names - we nearly called Clara Freya! :)

Ceeveebee I'm reading your routine we are quite similar will put below for others... reading how when babies wake/woke at night you gave them EBM is a bottle and i'm thinking WHY WHy didn't i do that!! Clara wakes for comfort from the breast all the time now Hope Roddy is better today?

For those wondering about routines our day is as follows

6.45 wake/ dress babies
7.15 feed
9 -9.45 nap in cot
10.45 feed
12- 1.30/2 nap in pram - i try to go out walking it's easier than fighting with them over a nap in the cot! They often sleep well in pram and i can eat lunch when we come back from our walk in peace :)
2.30 feed
4-4.30 cat nap in bouncers/chair/car wherever we happen to be
5.45 split feed
6.30 feed
7pm bed
10.15 feed

all feeds are bf and then topup formula as necessary sometimes they take little or none sometimes they drink alot of what we offer. In the avo if hungry i just bf on demand
If they wake at night i nurse them.
Some days routine goes out the window, but then we go back to the 'plan' the next day. Since Jan we have pretty much fallen into a good rhythm.

Esme got discharged from cardio consultant - no more peads no more consultants - wuhooo! :)

Sigh, my other favourite name twinnies, I could name girl twins much more easily!!

I am having a small panic at how I'm going to fit my 18 month olds routine in with the twins without them or her suffering/missing out after looking at some of yours. Eek!

Can I also ask how much family help/ paid help if any people have? And what's been most useful?

Thanks peeling, though i know its a bit keen popping up here with my twins still cooking :-)

Oh, and err, i did mean to say how fantastic esme is discharged twinnies

Oh that's awesome Twinnies, we still have ongoing cardio consults for PDA and murmur, although it doesn't seem to be causing any probs. Tbh I don't want to lose our paediatric consultant as she Rocks and is so much better than a GP, but it'll be an amazing milestone when we do, so well done!!

peeling, the puking is probably anything up to 6/7 times after a feed. Can be some time after, when it's turned to cottage cheese! Took her to GP today and mentioned it. He just said it was a weak sphincter muscle and to sit her up in her chair after her feed (already doing that- duh!). That was it for his help!
ceeveebee, sounds good, the upright feed, especially in terms of giving yr back and body a bit of a rest! But does it make yr arms ache at all? How long does the feed last? Do you put them on, yourself, or do you need help to get them in position? Sounds very cuddlesome too!

dream that is the one thing I wasn't prepared for - how much help I needed. I genuinely believed with hard work I would be able to look after them on my own and keep on top of everything else (housework, personal hygene, life!) For me I needed help and had full time help until they were 6 weeks old. Not paid help but combo of DH on pat leave, mum staying and MIL staying. My first day competely on my own with them - 6 weeks plus 3 days - the morning was lovely and the afternoon hell. Mainly because there was a large stretch they were both awake and wanted held, wouldn't be entertained on playmat, chairs etc and didn't like being held together - wanted me all to themselves. I found myself in floods of tears phoning DH who left work early and got home bt 4pm. I also realised that day that for me BF and being on my own with them wasn't compatible and from that day on I couldn't find any time to express atall. They are 10 weeks on Fri and I am now on my own 3 days a week, with my mum here for 2 and DH here at weekend and we cope great. I could do M-F on my own now but would be exhausted and as mum is willing we have stuck to this so far. The afternoons can still sometimes be a challenge so I make sure we have something planned or if not we go for long walks in pram. I am sure others coped better than me but thought I would share my experience.

Hi mumof1plustwins! Will also check out the other thread, thanks!

Morning all. Babies just started their nap so am free to type!
Yes, I am a bit of a control freak, had all the GF routines typed up and stuck to wall to remind me, what a geek!

jan the puking sounds awful. Is this a recent thing or always been the case?Is it reflux? Can't offer any advice as mine haven't had it but I would push for more advice than your GP, maybe speak to HV?

No my arms don't ache when I tandem feed, the twins are lying on me, so my arms just keep them in place rather than support them. I put one twin one eithrr side of me on the sofa or the bed, get boobs out, pick the babies up one at a time and put on my shoulder as if I was winding them, then let them slide down me, they latch on themselves. Maybe I'll take a photo and upload it as its hard to explain!

Like raven I had lots of Family help for first 6 weeks. Between MIL, DM and DH I was only alone for 2 days in the first 6 weeks. DH is now out at work 7am to 730/8pm every day, and all our family live 250 miles away. MIL and DM come to stay for a few days every few weeks to help and of course to see their GC

We also had a night nanny for 3 nights a week (every other night) from when they were 3 weeks old till 12 weeks. When they were sleeping better I decided to get some daytime help, because although I think its just about managable alone, I did not have time to do anything else (like have any kind of life!) and was spending all evenings and weekends on housework. So I have employed a mothers help, she comes 3 afternoons per week and does laundry, ironing, cleaning, some cooking, helps with bath and bedtime feed. I found her on gumtree and for 12 hours a week its about £100 which is an extravagence but keeps me sane! I also hope that when I return to work in November she will become my nanny and will know them very well by then.

EEEK!!!! Yes, I will need some help then. TBH, naivety here, but I'm more worried about coping with my 18 month old than the twins at the minute... I don't mean coping- I mean still spending time with her and enjoying her demanding little madam as she is I'm expecting rubbish nights, no sleep, loads of feeding with the babies, judging by my first.... and my 18 month old expects to go and do an activity in the morning, come home to have lunch and a nap, and some other form (usually outdoor play/playground if weather ok) in the afternoon. I'm so worried about not being able to do this, and her feeling rejected as she's too little to understand an explanation obviously. One of my husband's colleagues was telling me how important the first 2 years are and the most important thing you can give your child is a feeling of self-confidence, being loved, and self-worth, so I don't want to 'damage' my PFB ( I don't mean that in as dramatic a way as it sounds, I know siblings are good for her etc etc,its what we wanted, it's just the jump of 2 babies together etc I'm expecting to be so hard ) by going from all this attention/activity to being squeezed in where possible. We have advertised for a mothers help for 2 days a week. Now I'm wondering if that's enough...

janberry, I had a very vomity baby. She threw up constantly, was in pain with reflux if lying flat etc etc as a newborn. I was desperate at her 6 week check, as I had to hold her upright for 30 min after every feed to keep any down and she was feeding every 2 hours- which only ever gave me 90 min to sleep at night, so often she'd be up again before I'd managed to get to sleep.... They (Gp/hv) were totally uninterested then, and only got interested after she dropped down and crossed 2 centiles in the Red Book, but by then she was improving- the dropping centiles was nothing, she was always growing fine, and putting on weight, just not stacking it on iykwim. I stopped having her weighed, ever, on the advice of the most sensible hv I ever saw . I know what you mean about the curdled cheese sick though- I could pick her up for her next feed and she'd still be puking up the last one [nice!] . I was keen to avoid medication once she seemed to be becoming more of a 'happy puker', and it really improved for us about 5 months ish. I do think it depends how they are though- if they seem happy and contented a lot of the time, and settled after feeds (as my DD was after she started improving) it could just be you have a puker!!! My friend had domperidone and ranitidine prescribed though as she was concerned her LO was in pain from it, and she felt it helped a lot, so there is more than gaviscon out there and that may be worth a try for you?

We spent first 5 days in hospital, then home for 5 days with dh, mil and ap, then hospital for another 11 days then home by which point dh was back at work, mil was back hone 200 miles away, dm had taken ds while I was in hospital and was shattered and ap was terrified of touching tiny prem dts.

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We spent first 5 days in hospital, then home for 5 days with dh, mil and ap, then hospital for another 11 days then home by which point dh was back at work, mil was back hone 200 miles away, dm had taken ds while I was in hospital and was shattered and ap was terrified of touching tiny prem dts.

We got a night nurse for about 3 weeks, a local organization sent me a helper on mon-fri to help with one feed as I couldn't feed them together until 6 weeks so I had one part of each day where someone else was holding a baby. My dm often came around tea bed time so I could spend time with ds/have a nap. It improved around 6 weeks when they were closer to term, began to get hunger cues and ap stopped being frightened she'd hurt one. It was s really tough time but thankfully a short one.

Hi all,

Re help - mum and mil were round every day at the beginning, after 7 weeks in hospital we wanted some time on our own! We then fell into a routine of mil coming every Friday for the whole day, and my mum coming every day for a couple of hours. I found it got too much and had to ask her to back off a little - wanted and needed to do it by myself.

It depends on what your babies are like - I did the night feeds by myself once DH went back to work (but I have no other children to look after), I also have quick fEeders a and was fully FF when they came home and they fed at 11pm which DH did, 3am and 7am, then DH left for work and we went back to sleep until 9am so it was doable.

Went to London on the train today to take babies to see colleagues - it went remarkably well. I've decided the idea often seem a lot worse than the actuality - so many people offered to help on stairs etc.

Hi all,

Re help - mum and mil were round every day at the beginning, after 7 weeks in hospital we wanted some time on our own! We then fell into a routine of mil coming every Friday for the whole day, and my mum coming every day for a couple of hours. I found it got too much and had to ask her to back off a little - wanted and needed to do it by myself.

It depends on what your babies are like - I did the night feeds by myself once DH went back to work (but I have no other children to look after), I also have quick fEeders a and was fully FF when they came home and they fed at 11pm which DH did, 3am and 7am, then DH left for work and we went back to sleep until 9am so it was doable.

Went to London on the train today to take babies to see colleagues - it went remarkably well. I've decided the idea often seem a lot worse than the actuality - so many people offered to help on stairs etc.

silver you are very brave, I haven't attempted train on my own yet. At my station the gap between train and platform is huge, there is no way I could lift the buggy on myself (And southwest trains have a policy of not allowing their staff to help lift buggies, nice).

As someone mentioned the 'w' word, what are everyone's thoughts on returning to work (where applicable!). I would love to take more time off and stay at home till they are 3 but am scared to give up my job in this climate. Also my job requires keeping up to date with current practice/legislation so might struggle to get back into it easily in 3 years time. But childcare for 2 babies is so expensive, £150 per day at our closest nursery! What is everyone else thinking?

I'm discussing return to work atm. Ceeveebee are you a lawyer too?

No, am accountant and compant secretary, so need to be on top of current tax, corporate law, financial reporting, stock exchance regs etc, have forgotten everything now, its all just a blur of nappies and bottles!

company secretary