TTT.....

[AtLongLast]

OTT / self-indulgent I know, but Toddler Twin Tantrums..... aaargh! Just as well they're so cute too. Ds2 was v funny today wiggling his bum singing uh, uh Bobby' in response to me dancing round the kitchen to Bobby's girl'...

Lottie My 4YO does that!

Its sooo annoying! Even just 'Tea time'
Indie: 'Tea is boooorring'
So I will tell her that its fine, she doesn't have to eat tea (she is a food machine!) and she will shout 'No, no, no!!! I do want tea!'

She says it to the DTri's too - they still look up to my older 2, and constantly showing them things, so will show Indie something and she just says 'That toy is so boring...'

Everything is boring - putting shoes on, going to bed, brushing hair, getting dressed, going to the toilet, going to pre-school... you get the picture..

DTri's pick up on it if Indie starts saying it, so whatever I ask them (even if I say 'Do you want some chocolate' - I have tried it!) they will scream 'Booorrreeeeeenn!!'

Kate - do you think my two year old is gifted then, in that she finds everything boring aged just TWO. FFS! Today it was walking up the steps to our house: "I no want to walk up steps Mummy, walking up steps is BORING." Er, okay, stand outside the house all day then clever clogs!

Annoyingly the other one is picking up on it too.

Btw, I started a thread in Food topic today about fussy eaters - mine are becoming RIDICULOUS. I welcome anyone's input about how to deal with fussy eaters, I can't believe I have two one and don't have a strong strategy for how to deal with it. Each meal I just do the easiest thing, which is not leading to my maternal vision of one home-cooked meal for the whole family each night...

I would say she is very advanced for her age ;) Loving the 'Walking up steps is boring'. Am impressed with her speech though - you said that she was only just 2, that is brilliant! DTri's sound about the same, speech wise, and they are 2.6 - think they just can't be bothered to talk!

It is annoying when 1 does something silly, within 2 seconds #2 is doing it, and then #3 joins in too!! I don't even attempt to stop them because its like they are ganging up on me already - when they are like this, they just stand and laugh at me! Cheeky devils! ;)
Was annoying when DT's started picking up on the 'boring' thing - they don't even know what it means to be bored!

Nightmare about the fussy eating. The only thing that I can suggest is to stay strong with whatever you would normally cook (not things that they want, IYSWIM) and just simply offer the dinner - if they refuse, thats fine. You can either send them away from the table, and give attention to other DT, or tell them that they still have to sit at table and wait until everyone is finished - but ignore them and just encourage the 'eating' DT.

If you don't want to go 'cold turkey' just yet, I would try making meal times more exciting. Take them somewhere to get new plates (paper chase does gorgeous ones) and cutlery - only for 'big girls'! ;) Whilst choosing them, talk positively about how they are going to be able to eat all their dinner up when they have 'big girl' things.
We have the Fun Pods in our kitchen too - its like an enclosed 'step' for children so they can help with cooking. Maybe look on mothercare or BabysRUs for them - they are absolutely brilliant, and means the girls can get involved with cooking without running off everywhere, and climbing up and down etc.
We also have some childrens knives - I think they were from Jamie Oliver? Its a brilliant knife that cuts through everything (like a sharp knife would) but the way the 'blade' is designed, it isnt sharp at all. I find that if I give them some veg to cut up, they will eat some of it too - works with other things too obviously.
Ohh, I lied - isn't Jamie Oliver,

www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=childrens+knife&um=1&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=485&tbm=isch&tbnid=iphl3ywUjDZOZM:&imgrefurl=babyology.com.au/feeding/cut-easily-and-safely-with-the-kiddie-food-kutter.html&docid=hknhn3twPYsgLM&imgurl=babyology.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Kiddie-Food-Kutter-childrens-knife.jpg&w=350&h=339&ei=Y9JLT86LGOaj0QWSpriUDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=100&vpy=153&dur=8&hovh=221&hovw=228&tx=107&ty=84&sig=114268387022705784365&page=2&tbnh=140&tbnw=145&start=12&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:12

I just find that if they make it themselves, they are more likely to eat it.

Fussy eating is definitely a stage that most go through, so hopefully they will go through it quickly!

Thanks for those tips - they are great. I haven't ever heard of the Funpods - how many do you have?? Am imagining that unless I had two we'd have constant arguments, and they're pretty expensive - do you think I'd get much use out of them with the girls already aged 2.2?

Knives look brilliant, will definitely order.

Took the girls to a nearby nursery yesterday morning - well regarded, but in the thick of a very dodgy area... had to put all my stupid snobbery to one side as I got out the car. Seemed really good, nice staff, and they emailed me later to say they do have spaces. What to do? I really feel like I need a bit of space without the girls to get on top of everything here, but if I'm really honest it's not where I'd want them to go long-term. (Am I being stupid - when I got there they were all playing outside and loads of the kids had snotty noses, I am particularly averse to seeing kids with snotty noses that no-one wipes for them and don't like to think mine would be wandering around like that ) I can get a space for them at a Montessori (or similar) nursery in September, is it bad to put them in this place for a few months and then maybe move them in Sept?

PS: booked our holiday in Cornwall yesterday - at a hotel which was doing 'stay 2 nights get 3rd night free' - so we're staying 7 nights and paying for 5 - result! Looks really nice, has childcare and a spa - woohoo, can't wait.

Hope All & Chesti are having fun at CP, wonder if they've bumped into each other at the pool this morning
It will be good to get some tips, when they get back. Some friends and their children are going with us, and Us girls have booked 3 hours in the spa, I can't wait!!

Lottie brilliant about Cornwall, the hotel looks lovely. I think DP is getting a bit fed up of always staying at my mums, so will await your opinion, as it looks great!

I love those pods too Kate they look fab, v. Expensive though, might see if I can twist DP's arm

Those on the diet thread will know, I am on a mission to lose a bit of weight and tone up, doing ok, did the Shred last night, gave up chocolate for lent, and have cut down on my consumption

Lottie My older 2 DD's had a FunPod bought for them when they little, as a gift. They have lasted so brilliantly, and when the triplets were old enough to use them, it just caused huge, daily arguments as to who got to use them. In the end we decided to buy a 3rd - was a brilliant decision! I often plonk them in there with playdough/cookie dough/ fruit and veg with knives etc.
I would say that at 2.2, they would get more use out of them now, than when they were younger - it would be the perfect age. My eldest is 5, and often she will go in one and its still perfect for her. I hate them standing on chairs or stools - we've had too many accidents, and our kitchen floor is horribly hard.
The pod has a 'floor' that can be put up and down - we keep them on the highest for the triplets, but if we used it only for our older 2, then we would put it down a bit.
They are quite large though, if you have space in your kitchen to have them out all the time, then its perfect - but they aren't great for carting around. We have a large breakfast bar/island attached to kitchen and so instead of having stools there, we have the pods there all the time and just tuck them under the work surface.
Definitely look on eBay for some bargains - they aren't significantly cheaper on there (purely because they're brilliant!) but worth looking. We probably would have got one from there but at the time, wherever we got ours from (mothercare or babysrus I think) had an offer.
Just googled, and kiddicare.com have the red for £79 - quite a bargain, they are going second hand for that price. Thats the good thing - you know that once the DD's are too big for it, we can sell them for a good price.

LVB I gave up chocolate for lent too, but failed miserably today.. :( Do I just pretend that I've not had any?

Yes Kate, start again, you can do it, I did it last year and would have either an apple or a Bonne Maman Madeleine instead, so always had a sweet alternative

Ll. I would definitely use the nursery now, then change in September. In regards to snotty noses, sometimes I can't keep on top of wiping the girls, as it's a constant stream atm. Must be difficult with lots of children x

Those fun pods look great. We don't have the space in our current kitchen, I'd be clicking buy if we did...!

Lottie yes I'd use the nursery available now until Sept. Ours is in a v dodgy area too (um, less than five mins from our house!) but the staff are really caring and just generally fab in every way, and the other children are not generally from round there anyway (if that's a concern - probably only is for me as I'm a horrendous snob) as it's used as a drop off for parents who live further out, on their way into work in town.
Re. the snotfest, bear in mind noses always run more when out in the cold - sure they'd have wiped them once they all came in. If you're really unsure maybe have another look round at a different time of day?

Looking forward to CP/ meet-up feedback.....

Aargh ate a chic chip biscuit at play group today, remembered I'd given up chocolate for lent, oops

I'm back. Had a great time at centreparcs. Both boys have learned new words (wackwack (D) and DUCK (J) respectively). In fact I think that is all I heard continuously for the 3 hour journey home. Kids had an absolute ball there and consquently we ahd a good time too.

For those of you who are awaiting the big TTT meetup, after 3 days of peering at twins (my criteria were a brown haired lady, with blond toddler twins and a 3 month old girl) and boy, were there a lot of twins there, didn;t bump into her. Surprised as the previous time I was there at the same time as someone else I knew we bumped into them everywhere to the point it was getting really embarrassing. Anyway, texted ALL on Wed night. Only time our paths would cross would be in the pool on Thurs afternoon when DH & I were planning on being there with only H to give her some alone time with us as the boys seemed to be completely worn out from all the walking and duck enthusiasm and reverted to huge 2.5 hour sleeps from 1-3.30. So she didn't get to meet our boys. I can confirm that C is a real cutie - I'd forgotten how small newborns (well 3ish months) can be. The boys were also lovely, though a bit shy of mad woman in pool speaking to their mother. Didn't get to chat for very long, and had hoped to speak again but lost track of time and had to hot foot it back to the lodge to help granny with the boys.

The only down side to the holiday is that D has turned into a real bully. He constantly hits and pushes J and even H. Am worried that it is going to spill over into other children too. He is completely unafraid of any other children in soft play areas etc. A new parenting challenge for us as H was/is so timid that there was never any worry of her being a bully, always more likely to be bullied.

Lottie I would put them to the nursery. Sept is ages away.

On a completely different and upsetting note, DH who loves ice hockey and supports Fife Flyers, their player/manager's wife died this week. She was was expecting twins on the 1st April. Actually that was her 40 week date so she could have had them any day. She had a heart attack and both her and the babies died. So breathtaking sad. They have a wee girl too, only 3yo. Although DH didn't know them personally its really upsetting, particularly as you realise how badly it could have gone wrong for any of us.

Oh God Chesti that is just awful. We've all been so lucky haven't we.

I've been sad this week too as the police officer found dead (shot and blinded by Raoul Moat, remember?) was father to two of my students, well one is now an ex-student but a lovely lovely boy who was in my first ever tutor group and whom I am v fond of. They were/are a lovely family. So heartbroken for them all.

Great that you met up Chesti and ALL. ALL if you are coming up this way you must give me a shout, maybe we can engineer a little rendez vous...

Chesti if it's any consolation I think the dynamic between twins has little resemblance to their interactions with other children (re. bullying etc). From my observations, anyway.
I've had nursery inform me again this week that M has bitten someone. Not 'out of anger or malice' they attempted to reassure me

Sorry, didn't mean to bring the thread down, but it just seemed so close to home (both physically and the same situation a 3yo then twins and she was mid 30s) that I can't stop thinking about it.

LVB how are the wedding plans? I only have about 4 weeks until I am a bridesmaid (matron of honor?) and have yet to loose the required 2 stone to look like I would like to. Fortunately the dress fits, but would look much better if I kept off the wine and lost a few lbs.

Chesti I still remember being told that I had a 10% chance of losing one or both twins due of the risk of them being identical. It is always far to close to home , as well as talking to you lovely ladies, I did the mumsnet antenatal dec 10 thread, 1 mum, lost her baby at 37 weeks it still makes me cry every time I think of it, because I was so early(4thNov) the girls were so small when it happened and I felt such a mixture of sadness for her and the utter joy and guilt that my girls were ok . Miscarriage and stillbirth are just horrendous and imagine to lose your wife and twins, it is just heartbreaking, it sounds so archaic that it can still happen now

Wedding is still pie in the sky, am horrendously obsessed with how flat chested I am post breast feeding not even measured but poss 36a [crying emoticon] have convinced myself I have 2 options, diet until I'm a size 6 where flat heated looks good or get a boob job!

That is a terribly sad story chesti, that poor husband and family. Stories like that tend to really get to you when there are similarities to your own situation. It's like when Magic8ball died last year - also heart problems, only 32, and leaving 3 young children. That still gets to me. Last year I also bumped into a woman in a shop who told me she was having twins and was asking lots of questions about my experience, so I swapped a couple of emails with her giving suggestions about what to buy etc. A few months later she saw me in the supermarket and told me that she had lost them both at 5 months when she had premature rupture of membranes, and was in Italy at the time. Her experience at the hands of Italian doctors sounded utterly dreadful, won't go into it here but it made a heartbreaking experience much worse for her. I can't imagine how you get over it. Sorry for your sadness too tarti, that poor man.

Anyway, lighter subjects - glad there was a meet up of sorts at CP. You were brave doing it at the pool - LVB and LL (and Kate?) I would definitely be up for a London meet and I think we can all agree we won't do it in swimsuits!

Bit late to the party on fussy eating but LL I would definitely advocate not making an issue of it if you can POSSIBLY help it. I speak as a lifelong pathetic fussy eater, and to be honest when people pressure you to eat it just makes you dig your heels in, and then you get to 39 21 and find you have forgotten the reasons why you don't eat certain things, you just don't... I would also agree just present one option to her, if she doesn't eat it then she doesn't get an alternative offered. I was a bit at one of the comments someone made to you on FB about how you'll just do online research and read a book and it'll be fine - did she mean to be as dismissive as she sounded?!

So S&R have now reached single figures as of Sunday and it's very strange to look back over a whole year. At this point S was still in high dependency, and now there he is giving me back ache as I lug him up and downstairs.

Their start to nursery and my return to work wasn't very smooth sadly, as I have only managed a grand total of one day's work this week thanks to trigger happy nursery sending them home with sticky eyes. First R on Tuesday after I had been at my desk all of 90 minutes, and then both on Thursday when I had nearly got through the day. Each sending-home requires a day's quarantine, so all in all we have paid handsomely for nursery this week and I've still had to do almost all the childcare. I know I should have expected it but it's bloody embarrassing walking out of work quite so soon after getting back! And TBH I query whether the sending-home works anyway - they caught the infection there, therefore some child gave it to them, therefore the quarantining clearly has no effect! It's so frustrating when I've been keyed up for weeks getting my head round the idea of work and then having to switch back so quickly. Well hopefully it will settle down soon.

Poor LVB. Our bodies are wracked by twins in so many ways...funny how La Leche League don't advertise that side effect of EBF isn't it?

Aww Chesti, that's awful . When I was pg with the boys a friend lost her twins - one at 12wks and the other at 30wks, but she knew for a couple of weeks before she delivered. She was 6wks behind me & they were IVF too & from the same hospital. I was paranoid I'd end up in labour at the same time she was going in to have her dd though I was lucky enough to be able to talk the scenario through with the antenatal midwife & then it didn't happen anyway. It has destroyed our friendship gp tho . Then when I was pg with dd a friend & his dw lost their dd at 6months pg. Makes you so, so grateful and yes, a lot guilty even though we had so many problems before we managed to have the boys.

CP was fab. Was good to meet with Chesti , if a bit brief! Our fault cos we were running late. Was not impressed at that and had just stropped at dp when he asked if I was going off to look for you when you found us. The only thing I had planned all week & still we couldn't do it . Shame the boys weren't there - H is beautiful tho! Was loads and loads of twins, and pg ladies / newborns too. You're right about bumping into people. We were on 'hello' terms with one family cos we saw so much of them from the start. Tarti, will def try to arrange something with you to - think we're coming up at the end of the month for either a week or a long weekend.

Was so lovely to see the boys with all the grandparents & seeing the grandparents loving the time they had with all 3 kids. FIL wants to take us back next year . I'll be back to being restricted to school hol time only again by then tho so we'll see. We managed with only a few major tensions. Mostly over how we dealt with ds1's tantrums. God, was he trying it on!! Like yesterday am when he was whining at MIL's feet in the kitchen cos he wanted to be picked up & just doing that floppy, whiny, cry' thing. So, when he wouldn't calm I picked him up & put him in his cot. To which both my mum & MIL said I'm not saying anything'. Luckily I was busy cos I saw red at that!!! Apparently neither mums had any tantrums at all with any of their kids (though bizzarely MIL thinks ds1 is just like dp was, and both kept spouting stuff about waiting til we got to terrible 2s proper).

We were very impressed with the lodge. The layout was a really good use of space & it looked quite nice too - if a bit like living in an Ikea/Habitat-type showroom. Only downsides were that sound travels well, especially when the toddlers are up at 5am for the first couple of mornings (what time is `acceptable' for non-parents?? I forget that even 7am is fairly early...). & if you're planning on peeling potatoes for 9, or doing veg prep then your own peeler/knife might be a good idea. The ones in our lodge were crap.

Oooh.. nap over...

for these sad stories. One of my friends in Switzerland just lost her baby at 23 weeks, so I too have been thinking about how lucky I was to deliver two healthy babies. I honestly don't know how one copes with such a loss.

We have no broadband this week so am using my iPhone - finally succumbed and got one. Have to admit that I have been strangely productive since we lost connectivity - any correlation?

Thanks all for your thoughts re nursery. We are going for it; am going in to sign up on Monday.

Cerubina - laughed at your post re being a fussy eater - I was one too and was famously sent home from school once for having a ginormous tantrum because they dared try to make me eat pear or some such.

Am very up for a meet (and LOL re wearing swimsuits), quite a trek for me to head to Richmond Park but is there anything remotely convenient anywhere more central?

Chesti Such an awful story, I just think its horrendous when both the mother and baby/ies die - can't think of anything worse for the husband, children and rest of family. I'm sure that they have a really supportive family as they will really need it. I know its not the same, but throughout my pregnancy I had to keep seeing this one consultant who kept saying that he thought it would be a good idea for me to terminate the smallest baby. Kept making me feel awful for saying that I would never terminate, and all he kept saying was that there is a very large chance that they will all be born too early and die, and then I would regret my decision. Total bollocks. I understand the strain on our bodies for carrying 2 or 3 babies, and that is quite often doesn't go to plan - hence the ridiculous amounts of appt's I had throughout my pregnancy - in that sense, I cannot fault them for my care, they couldn't see me enough!
Between conceiving our triplets and having DD2 I had a horrendous miscarriage very late on in the pregnancy - completely tore us apart and was one of the worst times of my life. Very rarely talk about it, even though we should, as we are still in denial and cant believe that our baby was taken away from us - we were all so excited at prospect of DC3. Was also such a horrific experience; I understand that no miscarriage is 'straightforward' but to be treated so awfully as well, just horrible.
Sorry for all the depressing crap ladies!

Cerubina I would totally be up for a meetup, but as most of you are in London and we are about 4 hours from London, it would have to be organised in advance!

ALL So glad you and Chesti had such brilliant holidays! CP is just brilliant! Re the strops - what did your mum and MIL expect you to do?! One thing I can't stand is parents trying to tell me that their children never had strops - thats ridiculous, no child NEVER has a strop. I would be worried if my child didnt have strops - it is normal . Saying that, a lot of children don't get the chance to have a strop because as soon as they start to whinge, they get whatever they wanted in the first place thrust into their face! DD's do the 'flingy whingy' thing to be picked up, but then whinge around even more - I tend to just kneel in front of them, hold them gently at arms length and say 'When you have calmed down and stopped making that noise, I will talk to you' - and then turn my head away. Once the whinging stops, I am all ears and cuddles! I would stick in cot, but I would be up and down our stairs like a woman possessed!
LVB At my last weigh in I had lost 4.5lbs! yay! And actually been quite naughty (chinese and sneaky chocolate), but the rest of the time really good so has paid off and spurred me on! Size 6 here I come!

Didn't like to ask what I was meant to do Kate. Anyway, how would they know not having experienced toddler strops . I don't use the cot a home cos I'm too lazy to go upstairs. Ds2 responds really well to demands to stop crying / stropping, but not ds1 - just makes him wail louder. I only really put him in the cot cos MIL/mum kept trying to interact with him despite us telling asking them not to. They're just not ready for the long rambling reasoning / negotiations/ explanations yet. I felt bad because the problem wasn't really him, but the grandmothers / out of routine / strange place. He calmed quickly though then sat on my knee (sniffling saying `calm now, calm now', bless him) & we had cuddles.

Another day the big boys had gone off to do an activity so my plan was that we just go out the back of the lodge to look at sticks / birds etc. Usually takes eons to get anywhere but they both seemed up for a faster wander so we decided to go meet the men. Except ds1 then decided he wanted MIL to carry him. He's too heavy for her (she's weeny) and had he had a carry then ds2 would want one too & my mum isn't up to it either so I said no. Cue falling to the floor etc. Luckily we hadn't gone far so I just tucked him under my arm & went back. He was upsidedown by the time I got back to the lodge (had dd in the sling so was difficult to carry him). They didn't like that much either. Especially as the people opposite were looking . A while of rolling round & ds1 was fine again. Trying to stop them from going on.... and on.... and on.... at him about it though, and then again when the men came back you'd think it was a major event that needed countless retelling in glorious technicolour . Just not necessary. Think my `mother of the decade' crown is a little tarnished . No doubt they think I maintain control through abuse on a daily basis... or something. In truth, they're much easier to deal with when it's just me & them & I don't have a lot of crying or strops yet.

As dp said, there was 3 yrs between him & his bro (& my mum had big gaps between most of us) so MIL could probably afford to give in to dp a bit more at this age than we can with 3 so close together.

But still, we knew that would be an issue & it was a lovely week.

Pool meets are good - I think you could say Chesti & I met one another's heads only . Bodies safely under water unless you choose to get out. If you lot down south get organised & we can get somewhere close to camp etc over the summer then we'd see about coming too .

Glad you're liking your iphone Lottie. I was v, v tempted last year but figured any smartphone was so superior to my old brick phone that I'd be happy whatever. I am, but have used dp's HD Samsung a fair bit recently & hate to admit it's much nicer to use than my HTC.

Definitely agree - easier to parent/discipline when on your own with them ALL. My mil flatly ignores requests not to pick them up on demand/indulge every whim etc. - does make things rather more tantrum-heavy!

Ooh yes keep us posted about a London meet up - I might try and make it too

Well done on weight loss Kate

Tarti Don't be too jealous - have already put it back on
My body is ridiculously fucked up. How can I carry on eating the same, and put on weight (after losing)...
Tempted to ditch the scales, and start measuring myself instead? What do you reckon?

Hmm - wish I could let go and get rid of scales but the very thought panics me. I weigh myself pretty much every day and when I stop, I put on weight. It is fucked up, I know that.
V annoying that you've gained when you've been eating the same. I find you do tend to fluctuate by a couple of pounds over the course of a week but 4.5 is a lot. Maybe just a blip today - weigh again tomorrow?