can someone please tell me some positive things about having twins?

[CarrieInAnotherTWOBabiTWINS]

only found out on sat number 2 is actually twins.

was only planning on having two children, so its all a bit of a shock, had good support on here, and been told about tamba website, but everytime i go on there i read about how its high risk being pg with twins, your more likely to have aarealtionshipbreakdown after having twins and health problems and finical stress etc.

i realise it will be alot of har work, but any positive comment about twins i would LOVE to hear

Carrie, I spent virtually my entire pregnancy worried something would go wrong and it wasnt until I had them in my arms that I relaxed.

There are so many great things about having twins. I remember their first days they'd cuddle into each other to sleep and they still hold hands and smile at each other at 5mths. Having both of them smile up at you is magical and seeing them both grow and develop differently is a treat.

I was like you and spent a lot of my pregnancy being in shock and not really being at ease with my pregnancy but wish I hadnt. Of course it's a massive shock but hopefully it will calm down into a 'wow it's so amazing we're having twins' way. And the shock will give way to disbelief that you've been so lucky to have twins. I still think about how hard it is to get pregnant in the first place (when you think of all the things that have to be in the right place at the right time) but then for it to have happened twice.

I also have a 2.7 year old and we'd only ever planned on having one more but i now have 3 children and am very impressed with the whole thing. And you will be too.

Not to say it isnt extremely hard sometimes. Go to a TAMBA antenatal course - they are aimed more at new parents rather than those whove been through it before but you'll meet others who live in your area and you can meet up with them before and after the birth. There should also be a twins group in your local area which encourage you to attend before having the babies so you can chat to mothers and ask all the questions you want.

fer thanks for your lovely post, its wonderful to hear something positive.

do you have to pay for the ante natal courses?

I was in the same situation. Had lots of discussions about whether to even try for a 2nd child as DD was probably enough for us. But decided it would be nice to have 2, and ended up with 3. DD is now 3 and DTs 18 months. And I still function (just) . My advice would be try and relax and enjoy it if you can. Go with the flow as there is very little you can do about it now, the twins train is boarded and you can't get off!

There are lots of lovely things about having twins, and lots of awful things about having twins. My pregnancy was completely straightforward if that helps. Scanned every 4 weeks which is a lovely chance to see the kids which others don't get. Boys were slightly early (35weeks) but healthy and fine. Once you get over the shock, I think it will be fine. I personally think it is better to have twins as a second pregnancy as you at least you are not phased by the baby, just the doubleness.

Have just asked DH what the nice things about having twins are, and him being a very non-gushy person has said

1. you get it all over with, no tricky shall we try for a 3rd question
2. you get lots of kudos, and admiring glances and comments
3. even our twins, who hate each other, are VERY cute when they play together.

Me being a more gushy person (and I have had half a bottle of wine - I drink a lot more now I have twins!) I think twins are great and a real blessing. Lots of people (mad people probably) would LOVE to be in our shoes.

thankyou ginger, hearing the good sides is just what i need to hear right now.

we do have plenty of time to get used to the idea, and its already started to sinnk in a bit and we have only known since sat that its twins

Hi Carrie, congratulations! My twins are just 9 weeks old, but I think they are fantastic! We already have a Dd1 who is 2, and thought a single sibling for her would be great. They are all IVF, and we had 2 eggs transferred, so twins were always a possibility - being identical twins was a surprise! I know it is only early days, and alot of other mum's on here have got a lot more experience, but I am loving it (I never thought I would have one child, let alone 3 - I'm not a very maternal person!). Having twins the second time IMO is alot easier, you have the experience of one baby, and don't feel quite as paranoid about everything, and you know it won't hurt if you have to leave one to cry for a few minutes while you deal with the other. If you can feed them at the same time, I don't think it takes that much longer than feeding a singleton, and if you feed them individually you get some lovely one on one time. Your DP can also feel alot more involved, a second pair if hands is always useful (my DH always wanted twins, so is thrilled). Getting out and about is more of a challenge, and you can't go more than about 10 steps without someone stopping you and saying "oooh twins". Maybe that novelty will wear off (especially when I'm in a rush!), but people are generally so pleased to for you. The only negatives for us (aren't really negatives!) are that they will have to share a bedroom (but I can already see DD1 wanting to share with them too! She wants to copy everything they do!), and we had to get a bigger car! I'm sure in a few years I willbe tearing my hair out at times, but I think that would be the same with just 2! The main thing is to think positively, and enjoy every minute. There will be bad days, there will be days when you haven't got dressed until bedtime. But the good and the joys will definitely outweigh it all! Sorry for the rambling - gad better go and catch a few more hours sle

..........sleep between feeds!!! Oh, and mumsnet is brilliant for support. I've only recently joined, but already becoming addicted! One more thing, if you can find a local twins group, it is great to go, just to chat to other twin mums - I've met some lovely ladies through mine! Best of luck with everything!!

Hi Carrie, the TAMBA course was about £139 I think. If that's too much have a look on web for local twins groups and ring them up and see if you can go along and meet them before you have your babes.

Double the love, double the kisses

thanks so much for th lovely posts, im starting to get my head around the idea now.
feeling a bit more positive

I'm the proud mum of 12 year old triplets, plus an 18 year old at uni, and I wouldn't have it any other way.The shock will wear off soon and you can settle down to getting on with your pregnancy. The absolute main piece of advice I would give you for now is to listen to your body and what it wants. If you're tired - rest, if you're hungry - eat, thirsty - drink etc. Your body is a clever thing. Oh, and congratulations!

Carrie - my 2nd child turned out to be my 2nd and 3rd children too. DS1 was just 2 when the twins were born. He's now 5 and the twins are 3 and it's great. Really, really great. I would never have actively chosen to have 3 children, so it's lucky I didn't get to choose or I would have missed out on so much.

When I found out I was having twins my best friend said to me that I'd get through it, which made me realise that I didn't want to just get through it, I wanted to enjoy it, and I have (wine helps).

Congratulations!

thanks yes i on't want to get just through life eiher, i want to enjoy it as much as poss.

tonight ive discovered one thing that has really put a big smile on my face, looking at twins on youtube, seeing them dancing, laughing, making each other lol, cuddling.

if i feel daunte i'll make sure i look at those

and on the subject of listening ot my body i better get off to bed.
thanks for the support means so much to me

Congratulations! I have 2 sets of twins - there are many, many lovely things about twins! During my first pregnancy, I focused far too much on all the things that could go wrong (I had a horribly scaremongering consultant who basically insisted that ALL twins are born prematurely which sent me into a totally needless panic) and I was far more relaxed the second time around. You have the advantage of already being a mum so you know what to expect with babies. Get your head around the idea that the first 6 months or so will be quite hectic (and sometimes you'll feel FRAZZLED) and you'll be fine! My oldest ones (boys) are 4 now and it is such a joy to see them play together - they are best friends and also worst enemies sometimes but you don't need to hear about that. The younger two (girls) are 14 months and spend their time giggling together and cuddling up and poking each other in the eye-- - very cute! Good luck with it all and try not to dwell on all the scare stories too much!

This will make you laugh.

When I have a child on each leg and they give me a cuddle, or when I'm holding little hands to go on a walk, when they lie down next to each other and whisper, the fact I wouldn't have had 3 if the second pregnancy hadn't been twins.

You can mumsnet whilst they chase/cuddle/hit each other, honestly having twins is fantastic and you will find a lot of support on here (and I'll add to HOW MUCH helps )

Well I did it the other way round, twins first then a singleton. I probably had it the easy way round - no older children to worry about when the twins arrived but having 3 now, I do feel qualified to comment :-)

I'm a twin and obviously had twins so feel like I can comment from a parent and twin point of view :

Parent

1. You will be stopped every 30 seconds in a supermarket / just walking down the street for everyone to comment on how beautiful they are (even when they're not ;-)!!) / how lucky you are and what a fab mother you are coping with 2 babies at once. On my "frazzled / this is a nightmare" days, I'd head off to Tesco purposely to hear such comments!!

1. You'll generally get lots of offers of help because its twins and everyone will want to help, especially if you've got an older one too

1. Sounds bizarre but you automatically become part of an intangible club of twin mummies who stop and chat about anything twin related

1. You get numbers 2 and 3 over and done with in one go, logistically they'll obviously be in the same place most of the time etc.

1. The first time you hear them giggling upstairs / in another room together - unbelievable!

1. Double kisses and hugs, double the love.

Twin

1. You're never on your own - all those "tricky" things - 1st day at nursery, first day at school / brownies - whatever it is, you have your twin there.

1. Whilst the bond is special between any siblings, its doubly special between twins. I know exactly what my twin is thinking just by looking at her - she's my best friend in the whole world.

1. Double the wardrobe, half the expense :-). And always able to blame it on your twin if you're caught out being naughty! And after seeing my twin have her hair permed first, knowing I should keep my hair straight :-)

Honestly, hand on heart, it is the best thing in the world :-). And even if you do have a stressful pregnancy, every worry or fear will pale into insignificance when you have them. My twins are 6 now and I still love it (if not more!)

I have twins and, like you, worried all through my pregnancy but now mine are here (and just turned four years old) I can honestly say I haven't had a single day when I've regretted having twins. It is the best, most amazing adventure and only the luckiest Mums get to experience it. There are definitely logistical problems to having two babies but those problems are far far outweighed by the joy of seeing the bond between them.

Thanks for the lovely messages I'm def less worried about being a mother of twins now. I just want all 3 of us to make to through this hideous0prrgnancy as undathed as possible.

Unscathed sorry posting from my phone

Ff. Yes I think I know what you mean. As I would never had three children unless the secondwas twins

Everything that has been said already (including Congratulations). Everyone thinks you're a hero and random strangers tell you so. Nobody dares moan about how tired they are with their baby. They sometimes hold hands when they're feeding. They do most stuff at the same time so its not double the work. And when they both smile I have to take a deep breath not to cry.

I went from 1 to 3. The worst thing about having twins was the pregnancy. The best thing is having twins!!! So, if you can get through feeling awfully heavy and huge you will be fine. I actually think the pregnancy is so hard, just so you can enjoy the babies so much when they arrive, because you are so happy it's all over.

My twins entertain themselves really well. I love the fact they play together and I feel a bit for ds1 that he never had a play partner till now because it's so lovely. They also have NO IDEA what it is to be an only child, so they are more comfortable sharing me than he is. I also got my longed-for girl as one of the twins, which is an added bonus! Like you, I would have only had 2 kids, and if I'd had 2 boys I think I would always be wondering if I should try to have a third or not, to try for a girl.

They look after each other. And today they did a painting together at nursery which was super cute.

Congrats!
Okay, we don't have an elder child as ours are our first and last. I hated being pg and was sick as a dog with HG but for us, things do get easier.
They are nearly 4 now and play fantastically well with each other so I don't feel like I am the only source of entertainment. We have friends who are so knackered with playing with their singletons all the time because there is no other sibling.
I also see that ours are a lot more sociable than many of their friends and they dive in to do things. They share brilliantly, probably as they have always had to, but it makes life easier when at nursery/play dates.
They often walk hand in hand around town or stop for a hug and kiss before carrying on with huge smiles.

Congratulations. They are so unbelievably cute together. They play together and do stuff for each other, even at a very young age. When they are both giggling or both snuggled into one cot or (later on) one toddler swing together, they look so adorable, your heart could break.

People give you special treatment on public transport, in shops and cafes. I remember people constantly being so kind when they were tiny.

My two are older now and life is much easier for me than for lots of other mums. They always have each other to play with. I think I've heard them say "I'm bored" about three times in their entire lives, and they're nearly 10, because they entertain each other all day long and always have, even though they are chalk and cheese. They share birthday parties (less expense). They are never scared and lonely at school as they have each other. They learn to share more easily than other children, and to wait their turn.

Oh and you get the best toned arms next to Madonna. They are perfect hand weights.