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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

telling id twins appart

28 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 08/02/2011 21:26

Just found out I'm pg with ID twins. I know this sounds really stupid but how do we tell them appart - I'm terrified we'll keep giving them each others names and forgetting which is which!

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Catsmamma · 08/02/2011 21:28

i don't suppose they will bother for a bit.

am sure someone will be along with some helpful advise any moment!

and congrats!

thisisyesterday · 08/02/2011 21:30

lol do you know, someone I know had ID twins and to this day she is not sure that she didn't mix them up when they got home

anyway, in hospital they will have tags on, so you'll be able to tell them apart. then, when you bring them home you could put a little bracelet on them? or nail varnish on one toe? or just make sure one of them always has a red bib?
am sure you'll be fine though, you'll just know

cookielove · 08/02/2011 21:31

I don't have id twins, but have looked after lots (theres something in the water ) there are 4 sets at the nursery, and lots have passed through the doors. And nearly everyone is able to tell them apart, from when they are little babies to big kids.

They usually look different even though they are identical, and as they get older there personalities will help able to identify them easier, and from afar.

If you are really worried you could leave on their identity bracelets to begin with, and colour code them.

onimolap · 08/02/2011 21:32

Marker pen? Nail varnish?

cookielove · 08/02/2011 21:33

When i say colour code, i mean like thisyesterday with one wearing a red bib, or dressing one in yellow and one in green e.t.c

EvilTwins · 08/02/2011 21:34

You won't. You'll know which is which really quickly.

When my ID girls were born, we kept the hospital bracelet on for a few days (they only said Twin 1 and Twin 2 anyway) We had their names on their cots, and so as long as they were put in the right cot, we knew who was who by what they were then dressed in, IYSWIM. TBH, though, it was a bit unnecessary, as we quickly worked out who was who.

Make sure you call them by their own names as much as possible - there's no reason why they shouldn't be able to respond to their own names at the same age as singleton babies.

My girls are 4 now, and plenty of people muddle them up - they happily correct mistakes. DH and I get them mixed up occasionally - from behind, or above, or because we're not looking properly, but it's really not worth losing sleep over, I promise.

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 08/02/2011 21:34

Maybe we should go with dd1's idea. We decided baby boy would be William so she's suggested for twins: William1 and William2! (dd1 is 3)

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twolittlemonkeys · 08/02/2011 21:36

Once you know them, you can tell them apart. We had 2 sets of identical twins in my maths group at secondary school. Everyone could tell them apart except the poor maths teacher - they used to exploit this!

When I was teaching secondary, we had identical quads in Yr 7. They all wore glasses and I'm sure they chose identical frames just to make everyone's job harder. I had no idea which was which (I taught one of them) so would smile nervously each time I saw one in the corridor in case it was the one in my class. Oops.

twolittlemonkeys · 08/02/2011 21:37

Oh double congratulations by the way!

Greedymonster · 11/02/2011 12:11

I was terrified about this too! We kept the bracelets on, but I do admit to painting one boy's big toenail red. Really I needn't have bothered as they were slightly different weights when they were born so it was easy to tell them apart. When their weight evened up one twin's hair fell out but the other's didn't - so again they were easy to tell apart. By then I was so familiar with them I could tell them apart anyway without this.

They go through phases of being really identical though, but I've only ever got them mixed up once - I put them in the wrong cots when they were about 6 months old, and couldn't work out why they slept so badly until I went in in the morning and immediately saw they were in the wrong cot (didn't turn the lights on in the night!) I blame sleep depravation for that one!

I do accidentally call them the wrong names sometimes, but that's not because I get them confused, it's just the wrong name comes out - but that's just my inability to form words under pressure! (ie when there's naughtyness occurring....)

Watch the colour coding, I did that (for the benefit of other people really) and they have a tendency to have to have their colour for everything, even at pre-school (tantrums if another child has 'their colour' mug or something). This is not helpful but we are working on it and it is now easing.

Congrats BTW, twins are great (once you get through the hard work at the beginning!)

TheVisitor · 11/02/2011 12:16

You will just know, cos after a couple of days you'll see the differences. DS2 has a more pointy chin than DS3 and they have slightly differently shaped heads.

bunnymother · 12/02/2011 22:03

I could tell my ID twin girls apart the minute they were born. Never mixed them up, so far (2.5 months).

hellymelly · 12/02/2011 22:06

Usually one is smaller than the other at birth,and later there are generally other tiny things that help tell them apart.My friend has id twins that are the hardest I've found to tell apart,but even they have slight differences that are noticable when they are together,separately though I find it really tricky to know which twin I'm looking at.

ImFab · 12/02/2011 22:22

I call my kids by the wrong names sometimes. They are not twins .

LeChatRouge · 12/02/2011 22:37

Wow - lucky you! When are they due?

Mine are nearly 17 now and I have enjoyed every minute - they still make me laugh every day, they are wonderful people. Having twins is great, I used to feel really special when I took them out in their pram, every second person would stop me to have a chat. I have another son 22 months older and would always make sure he was included in any enquiring conversations!

Am envious, would do it again in a flash!

Agree with the others on the weight thing - mine were prem and weighed 4lb 2oz and 4lb 5oz, but the smaller one was a bit more vulnerable at the beginning and lost more weight, so he seemed smaller.

Mine were very alike, if I look at photos of them as babies, I have to really study the picture to recognise who it is. I wanted them to have their own personas, so didn't dress them the same. This was fine until they got to 4 and school uniforms - I decided to put them into seperate classes so they didn't get known as 'the twins'.

They are really good friends now - they have gone out together tonight and will often ask each others opinions about clothes, college and girls!

NormanTheForeman · 12/02/2011 22:42

I am an identical twin, and my parents could tell us apart because I had a slight dimple under one fingernail! Apart from that, we weighed the same at birth, and generally looked very alike early on. But it soon became apprent our personalities were quite different! From then on, I don't think my parents could have mistaken us for each other...

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 13/02/2011 09:03

Thanks everyone - I'm due in September (so probably August as I am having a c-section after traumatic birth with dd1).

They thought I was having an ectopic pg and so I had an early scan at 7 weeks and there they were. We both just started laughing and haven't stopped since. The reaction among friends is "wow that's amazing.... but thank god it's not me!" One friend is pg and had her scan a day later - she was truly mortified by the idea. I'm having to say "actually I'm delighted. Wasn't the plan but hey, that's life. Financially we're screwed as I can't justify working and paying childcare x2 (we timed it so dd1 was at school when I go back to work so we'd only have 1 in childcare. Hmmmm). For some reason I just can't worry about it. Feel very blessed!

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Hatterbox · 15/02/2011 13:34

You will be fine, you will find a way to tell them apart, perhaps one will have a slightly different physical characteristic, something that is difficult to spot with the naked eye, but if you look close enough you see it.

One of my DDs has a tiny, tiny little brown spot/freckle/mark on the corner of her right eye. It's ever so small, and you really have to look closely to see it, but I know it's there and it means my daughters will NEVER be able to pretend to be each other (like my friend, who is an ID twin, and her sister used to do to their parents).

hellswelshy · 21/02/2011 09:03

I have id twin girls who are now 3, and I can and always have been able to tell them apart. Their father hasnt always though!! Some baby photos now have me confused though, and i really have to look for a while to work out whos who:) When they are in front of you, it will be different and you as the mummy will just know. I worried about this as well, and also worried they would be really similar in EVERY way and there would be no differences...but there are, plenty in fact!
Congratulations to you, enjoy it:)

hellswelshy · 21/02/2011 09:05

ps just remembered something funny too, we painted one of our daughters toenails in the first few weeks 'just in case' as they were on different medicines....it always raised a smile from visitors:))))

twinmumplus1inthetum · 22/02/2011 09:33

My girls are 3.
In the very early days one of mine ALWAYS smelt of sick (even if there was no sick to be seen)! She had a small birthmark also so I could always check that, but strangely the sniff test was usually correct.
After a week or 2 you will just know who is who.
One thing I wish I'd done is to mark ALL photos, as at the time I knew who was who, but now baby photos and some toddler pics........its anyone's guess.... Something I find interesting is that until recent (self inflicted) drastically different haircuts, the girls don't know who they are in photos, even in relatively recent ones.

jen80 · 24/02/2011 21:24

I posted the same message about 7 months ago
My identical boys are now 6 months old and are easy to tell apart. There was a big weight difference (despite scans always showing they were the same!) so that made it easy. But they also have different shaped heads!!
My 3 year old can't tell them apart though (I think he just never looks properly!) and has decided to just call them both Bob they are actually Daniel and Thomas!!

BeckynearBrum · 16/03/2011 09:20

I'm due my girls soon (30 weeks pregnant now) and was thinking about trying to get something to put next to them in the photos so we can tell them apart in photos. Am sure we will be able to tell them apart in real life but loooking back at photos and trying to remember which was which on that day. Eek.

TrillianAstra · 16/03/2011 09:31

"wow that's amazing.... but thank god it's not me!"

Congratulations! I agree 100% with the above! :o

I do wonder sometimes how many identical twins say "I'm twin #1" when actually they were twin #2 but they got shuffled at some point when they were tiny.

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 16/03/2011 21:38

I was an ID twin and mentioned this to my dad - he said: "Well, tbh you could be #2 - I could never tell you appart!"

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