Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

Does 'Christian name' bother you, if you're not a Christian?

101 replies

acnebride · 21/02/2005 14:38

Am sulking childishly over something that happened at my new work at a GP practice and would appreciate either being told that this doesn't matter or having my sulk validated . I heard one of the receptionists ask a mum who was wearing a hijab for her child's Christian name. The mum clearly wasn't delighted, but didn't make it a big issue; me as a PC wuss, and also having a Jewish son and husband, was quite upset. So at the next Practice meeting I said that I thought it was better to ask people for 'first names'. No-one objected at the time, but my boss has since reversed the decision and said staff can say whatever they like, because 'this is a Christian country'.

At least this decision allows me to carry on doing what I think best, but am slightly upset about it. Also worried that I've marked myself as a humourless PC person at my new work! (hey - truth hurts).

If you're not a Christian, or your child is not, does being asked for your Christian name even remotely bother you?

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 21/02/2005 15:53

I had a strange experience when (i'm guessing - non Christian)doctor made some jokey remark about ds' cristian name and perhaps he shouldn't treat him. Ds' christian name is Christian.

The doc was joking but I was momentarily uncomfortable. Not least because ds' name was not a religious choice. I just happen to like the name and quite fancy Christian Slater!

JoolsToo · 21/02/2005 15:54

whoa! that's a bit off!

Tommy · 21/02/2005 16:25

I try not to use it as to me (a christian)it is obvious that not everybody else is! I think to say that "this is a Christian country" is not only wrong but also extremely narrow minded and your boss should get himself along to some PC classes very soon!

happymerryberries · 21/02/2005 16:27

I always use given name and surname.

marthamoo · 21/02/2005 16:34

Well in my previous incarnation as a Librarian if I was filling out a joining card I would always ask for first name and surname. Christian name does seem a bit archaic and exclusive to me. I wouldn't be offended by it, even though I don't consider myself much of a Christian - but I wouldn't want to cause offence to someone else who might be so I wouldn't use it. I would be more offended by being told "this is a Christian country" actually.

motherinferior · 21/02/2005 16:43

My name isn't a Christian name.

JoolsToo · 21/02/2005 16:44

you're not called Postlethwaite are you?

triceratops · 21/02/2005 16:46

I don't see what is wrong with christian name. To me it is just a relic of past society. I don't object to Friday because it contains a reference to another religion.

tortoiseshell · 21/02/2005 17:27

I guess it is used in the same way as Surname though. My 'name that I use' isn't a 'christian' name, but I would still automatically say 'my christian name is...' and not mean 'my name of christian origin is...'. Come to think of it, what names are christian names?

MI - sorry if that was aimed at me - I reread what I wrote about Christmas, and I think what I was meaning was that for lots of people, Christmas is not a religious festival, because they are not Christian, but in celebrating it they don't change the name to 'Wintermas' for example. But maybe that was a silly example. If I did use the term 'christian name', I certainly wouldn't be expecting the name necessarily to be christian in origin - it's just a term I have always used.

DecafArabica · 21/02/2005 20:07

I remember being asked my Christian name once when applying for a student bus pass or something. I spelled it out for them, then added, 'but it isn't a Christian name, I'm Jewish'. Lady said, 'but you don't look Jewish, you're really pretty & don't have a big nose!!!!!'

collision · 21/02/2005 20:13

I can think of worse things to be offended by TBH and this just smacks of being overly pedantic and a bit over-sensitive....IMO!

ScummyMummy · 21/02/2005 20:14

Good grief, decafarabica. Did you deck her? Must have been tempting.

Agree with blu re christian name

Tinker · 21/02/2005 20:19

Can't remember hearing Christian name last being used, I'd just think it odd if I heard it. Would never say it myself. Wouldn't be offended just puzzled. Would be offended (becasue I quite emjot being offended) at your bag of a boss though and would make a point of using any alternative wherever possible within her hearing range just to ram home the point. But, mostly, just to wind her up.

duster · 21/02/2005 20:26

I would go with 'first name' rather than Christian name, especially if the person I was asking was probably not a Christian (eg, mum in a hibab!)
Amongst my parents and siblings, we have Christians, Jews, Mormons and Jehova's Witnesses, as there is a family tradition of marrying into another religion. (When I announced I was considering becoming a White Witch, my father nearly exploded.)
I think it's an archaic term, too, though I wouldn't be offended by someone asking me my 'Christian' name. I am shocked that a GP practice is so un-pc.
Final word and apologies for the deliberate pun:
I think that those shouting pedant should bear in mind that the devil is in the details!

sis · 21/02/2005 20:30

It doesn't offend me but I think it is one of those things that can be changed in a gentle way - whenever i am asked for my Christian Name, i say clearly but not 'pointedly' thatmy first name is .... I hope that it makes a the point in a gentle way for most people but am aware that some people simply miss it.

DecafArabica · 22/02/2005 00:57

I really didn't know what to say. So I chose to walk away thinking at least she was right about me being attractive!!!

Gwenick · 22/02/2005 02:10

Hmmmm - but how many of you celebrate CHRISTmas?????

marthamoo · 22/02/2005 07:31

Nobody said we had to be consistent, Gwenick

Cam · 22/02/2005 09:04

Haven't seen a form saying "Christian name" or been asked for this for a couple of decades now. Seems that using "first name" or "forenames" makes the most sense and cannot offend anyone.
However what I do find strange about pc is that some people appear to be offended if one does want to use the terms about oneself that have been replaced. We (as in dh, dd and me) do ahve Christian names - we are christened. I would want to feel free to say my Christian name is ....
....
Along the same lines I had an argument on the telephone with a local council worker who insisted on writing to me as "Ms". I told him that my title is Mrs (which he knew). He said that he always titles women as Ms because he's politically correct! I replied that I choose my title and I wnat to be titled Mrs! He than said its not up to me what I am called, the rules of pc have to be followed! I then asked him whether he introduces himself and his wife to other people as Mr and Ms and he then realised that he doesn't. He now addresses me in writing as Mrs.
This is one my bugbears about pc. Its great to have general inoffensive terms to use (particularly when specifics are unknown), but they cannot be forced upon someone describing themselves.

JanH · 22/02/2005 09:10

A boy called Mohammed in DS1's sixth form class was asked by the (fairly old) teacher if that was his Christian name

acnebride, I think you were quite right to raise the issue, but having grown up saying/thinking "Christian name/surname" it is more or less automatic for older people. We'll probably get around to first/last or whatever eventually.

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2005 13:56

I'm not offended by the term 'Christian name', just annoyed by it. To use it shows ignorance of our multicultural society - especially when addressed to an obviously non-Christian person (as in the original post). Mind you, people often are ignorant - when I used to say that I didn't have a Christian name because I wasn't Christian, I was often asked 'but weren't you christened?'. Perhaps it just doesn't occur to people that christening is a religious thing, perhaps they only make the connection with it being the occasion when a name is given, a bit like people not connecting Christmas with religion.

Caligula · 22/02/2005 14:01

Cam's post made me laugh. This whole thing about not wanting to offend people, means you're bound to offend someone. To have to battle to be called Mrs, when that is your preferred term, is ridiculous. I thought the whole point of the "offence" thing, is that it's the person being called the term who decides what they want to be called?

mummylonglegs · 22/02/2005 14:03

Dp's first name is Christian. And he's not a Christian.

And I'm a Jew.

But actually I don't give a fig if someone asks me what my Christian name is. I've got much more important things to get offended about.

donnie · 22/02/2005 14:14

I am a Christian but I don't really think a great deal about this - I haven't seen or heard the expression ' Christian name' in ages! I think it makes more sense to say ' first name ' or something simpler like that.

Cam · 22/02/2005 16:17

Quite, Caligula.