This annoys me - I have said it before & I will say it again (small rant - sorry)

[KatyMac]

When collecting DD from sailing today someone said "which is yours?.....Oh the little Black girl"

Well she isn't

She is mixed race - that means part black (or something else)and part something else (in this case white)

By saying black you ignore the fact I had something to do with creating her - I was there I did give birth to her & provide half her genes

Rant over

Sympathies. I can imagine it is very irritating. I was very confused today when a friend referred to a mixed-race boy we both know as black.

its odd isn;t it how many people are colour/race blind. If they aren't white tey must be black asian etc. I tink my DS is obviously moixed race particulalry when you see him with full japanese, chinese, central asian children etc. It really shocked me te first time I realised that some people just didn't see that - he was just "chinese"

Half of her just doesn't matter

It is so annoying

I think "black" counts as a bit right-on and PC.

That's really interesting Katy. I had a conversation with a friend at work recently. She is mixed heritage (her mum is white). She always calls herself "brown". I was really surprised as I thought that would be offensive.

DD calls herself beige - daddy is brown and I am pinky yellow which tbh I'm not too keen on

Sorry - I meant to say, of course, that it must be really annoying for you.

The friend at work said that it would be disloyal to her mum if she called herself black - which is sort of what you're saying. Calling herself black meant denying that her mother had anything to do with the way that she looked.

i called my friend's children "black", until she corrected me (quite pissed off), and said erm, theyre actually mixed race.

katymac my 3 kids are mixed race half english half bangladeshi and we have never had any comments like what you have experienced but that maybe because they just look like they have a suntan.people are quite surprised when they see my dh.
there are so many inter racial couples now that years down the line everyone in this country will have a different colour to thier skin. i do wonder if my grandchildren will be dark skinned like dh?

Who knows - I guess DD looks mixed

I'm not really sure

I'm post a piccy just for tonite

She is definitely Mixed Race don't you think?

yes I would definitely say mixed race (and beautiful)

Well of course - that goes without saying (IMVHO)

Katymac sometimes I think people just don't know what to say. We are constantly being told that black is PC now, maybe that is why they say it? Personally, I never knew that people would prefer mixed race, so again, because of MN I have learnt something!

I guess

I mean I have to keep correcting my mum & BF who say coloured - I have considered that incorrect all my adult life so I don't get why they don't. & Mixed race has definitely been around longer than DH & I have been together my friend at school complained about equal ops forms not recognising her (they do now)

I don't "see" dd as black tho' - she really isn't

IMO she is the best bits of each of us

Is it because I was brought up in a very multicultural area do you think?

Or because I married a Jamaican?

my DS and i refer to ourselves as dolly mixtures cos we have such a mix that it would take forever to try and explain. the one i hate is "darkie". i was furious when he told me some boys at school had called him that, esp since the boy who started it is mixed as well. do you find it hard to keep them feeling positive about their differences?? i chose his school cos there was a good racial mix but i'm wondering if i should do the same when he moves to secondary school. there are days when he hates his colour, which makes me cos it feels like he's rejecting me. i keep on telling him that in a few years time all the ones who are annoying him will be so desperate to have the same colour as him, they'll be falling over themselves to get tango'd it makes him smile.

Katymac she is beautiful. My children are mixed race too.

It is hard to keep her positive - she has negative moments - but I think children (what ever colour) have insecure moments - we sometimes pin them on race when if they were white it would be eye colour/being bad at maths/ not running fast enough - but skin colour is easier to see?

We struggle with her hair tbh

But I may be biased but i think she is lovely too

Thank god she got my brains & DH's looks

KatyMac, your DD is absolutely gorgeous. (I don't say that lightly either!) Sod what other people say, it doesn't matter, as long as what you, DH/P and DD say that is all that matters. It really is insignificant that you married a Jamaican (apart from that you make beautiful children)

Aw - I might cry...sniff

Thank you

Bugger the lot of them then

But she won't get it wrong again

I think it is difficult, though for people who really don't know how "black" someone has to be to be classified as black, rather than mixed race.

I would probably think someone looking like your dd would be mixed race, but I know quite a lot of people from varying cultures and races (e.g. white English, black African, Indian, Iranian, Chinese, mixed race white English/black Afro-Caribbean, etc).

For people who have more limited experience of "non-white" people, it can be a bit more difficult. Even my ds, who has very multicultural friends, said the following to me last year.

"Mummy, there is a new girl in our class, her name is "S"." So I said "Oh, great, what does she look like?" (Hoping to say hello to new girl and parents in playground). he said "Well, her skin is the same colour as "Y's" Y is black African (her parents are both from Zimbabwe). So next day I look for a new black girl in our area of the playground. Eventually I find a fairly pale brown girl, with darker skinned mother, and get chatting. Turns out "S" has a Jamaican mum and white British dad, and is not really the same colour as "Y". But to ds they are similar enough that he thinks they are the same colour. And he is no way racist, two of his best friends are from non-white families.

I would not have made that mistake myself. But not everyone is as observant, or thinks about things that much.

I know my mum (who is nearly 88) would have no idea - she just calls everyone who isn't completely white "coloured". You would think she would know better, seeing as two of her grandson's best friends are from Indian/Iranian families, but nooooo.........

I do try to educate her, but it is sometimes hard with older people who do not want to change their ideas.

katymac, your DDs hair looks just like my mums!! only hers is shorter cos she hasn't the patience she was born with she swears by olive oil mask once a week. my hairdressser says it's good for her kind of hair cos it tends to be dry. i got my dads hair with my mums roots so it tends to stand on end!! and of course i just had to have a fringe..... i now resemble a cockrel, even after i straighten it lol just have to stick to hairbands till it grows out a bit more methinks

I am not sure that "brown" is necessarily a derogatory term.DP is Asian and calls himself "brown" though I admit that as a white person I might be a bit more hesitant to use it. Odd though, since "black" and "white" are perfectly acceptable and what are Asian people if not brown?