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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

anyone english with a bengali husband?

155 replies

3kidsisquiteenuff · 11/04/2008 11:41

hi just wanting to chat with any other mums with mixed race kids and all the challenges it brings

OP posts:
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wheatville · 19/04/2014 20:42

Hello there, I too am very interested in learning Sylheti. I am an English male and my partner is Bengali and she, along with he family, all speak it. I've read that some consider it almost a dead language and literature is very hard to come by. I'm sure I'll pick things up by ear but I want to learn it much faster. I'm struggling to find any good online resources and would be grateful for any advice that's out there.

HiHopes2014 · 29/08/2014 17:28

Hi is this thread still running?

heatherboo22 · 24/11/2014 23:34

I'm married to Bengali man and the situation with his family is slowly crushing my soul, anyone who can support please private message, much appreciated....

Lulu3108 · 01/12/2014 00:33

Hi I am with a punjabi sikh born here, I understand a lot of posts on here as it's very hard work with MIL.... My cousin was married to a Bengali man born here for 15 years she had to completely convert change her name everything but was fully accepted. Isn't easy though x

Lulu3108 · 01/12/2014 00:34

My cousin's Bengali family were more accepting than my bf punjabi sikh family who are 3rd generation Brit born smoke drink not religious... It's mad.

Mehedismum · 03/03/2015 23:58

Hi I am married to a Bengali man also. We have been together 12years, married 8 years, and have 2 boys 1 and 5. I have been to Bangladesh many times lived in the village with his parents and brothers And loads of extended family. I have learnt to speak bangla from being there so much and we hope to settle over there in future.would be great to chat with people in a similar boat.

Ilikesponge123 · 18/04/2015 22:26

Is this thread still active?
I'm a white Muslim who has a bengali husband and we have been married 2 yrs this year we have a beautiful daughter of 10 months. I also know alot of bangla and still keen to learn, we are both 21

ferdaus · 12/06/2015 05:02

Hi to all Mums in association with Sylheti DH
To learn Sylheti, you can Google "learn sylheti language"
The results will lead you some where.
Just to add "Sylheti" dialect is mostly pronunciation difference. One of the pronunciation is that in Sylheti the letter "K" is pronunced as "Kh" with the tongue touching the upper mouth in the inner side. Like that of "Pushto" language of Pathans

abul · 03/01/2016 13:35

I am a mane from Bangladesh i like fun dating

Ayshabegum1432 · 18/06/2016 02:38

Hello I been married to a Bangladeshi for 15 years when to Bangladesh for 7 months

negomiWtoB1 · 12/07/2016 23:33

Hello!

I'm just wondering whether this thread is still being read, given the last post on it was 8 years ago? I'm new to mumsnet. I'm English / British / European (?) with a (West) Bengali husband, and we're expecting our first child in a few months. I have some questions about when we invite his parents to stay with us in the UK - before the birth, right after, or a few weeks after?

Thanks!

Graodon · 10/09/2016 10:23

Not English or a mother. But I stumbled upon this website and saw this conversation.

One thing to note, if you wanna live happily with a Bangladeshi, confirm with him/her that they keep distance from their extended family. That's one of the worst thing about our country is that they are greedy a**holes and don't care at all. Don't change yourself for your mother in law's comfort either.

If your husband or wife loves you, they'll accept you your way, not your MIL's way.

And for the last question, don't make the children stay with grandparents from birth. They'll pick up bad habits from their old thinking. Raise your child the way you want and then take them to visit the grandparents so they aren't badly influenced.

Sorry for the interruption

Babycake786 · 26/01/2017 23:44

Hi
Sorry i am
Adding to this convo so late but maybe you guys will understand.

I just wanted some advice as i feel like this topic is costing me my mental and pysical health and the well being of my kids as latley i am always miserable.

Long story short, i live in london with my husband who is british bangladeshi
And my 3 kids.

I am british indian and converted to islam but dont really practice it anymore.

My hubby has 5 other siblings living in other parts of the uk too.

We finally managed to afford a 3bedroom house a few years ago but now he is saying we need to buy a bigger 4 bedroom house incase his parents come to stay now and then.

I think its ridiculous to buy a new house for the sake of them staying for a short holiday now and then. If it was full time Then i would totally understand but its not.

I dont see any of his siblings buying a new house and they all also have 3 kids each!

I dont dislike them but its not easy as they never eat when i cook, leave me out of stuff and are very old fashioned in comparison to me and my kids.
All their other DIL are bangladeshi like them too.

Am i being ott?
Like why are we the ones having to go through this?
If they need to stay wouldnt it be fairer if all of the siblings shared the load?
Please help as this is probably gonna make or break the rest of our relationship as he has never mentioned this before! X

salmaahmed · 06/04/2017 05:17

Hi I'm Bengali and il be totally honest it all depends on his family and how they are, just know the Bengali society can be very judgemental at times but Islamically you've done NOTHING wrong just keep that in mind if things ever get tough. I'm married to a East African man and have a 2 month old son so you can imagine the looks I get from the sasas down the road!!!

Kardelen · 24/10/2017 21:10

Hello,
I am actually very desperate to ask you a question. I hope you are still here 😔

1jasmine · 28/12/2018 13:47

This thread is absolutely fascinating. I am a born and brought up in England British Bengali. Even I have had issues adjusting to my husband’s family who is also Bangladeshi , but the important thing is to stand up for yourself and to have the support of your partner in dealing with his family or even better get your partner to put the boundaries in with your in laws after all it’s their family. I have a great relationship with my in-laws after a bumpy road, but I am known to be blunt and honest in his family lol. The main thing is your relationship with your husband everything else is of lower priority. I hope this helps.

fantasyinterru · 07/02/2019 02:59

I know that this thread is dead now but here goes...
I'm a mixed American Muslim with a Bengali husband. We've been married for 10 years now and have 2 children (10 and 2). We love each other very much and were each a big surprise to our families, haha.
I've been so lonely and feeling like no one understands any of it until I came across this thread and I just wanted to say thank you. I'll probably never meet any of you and the likelihood of this post being read is small, but even though that saddens me a bit I still feel really glad to know that I'm not alone even with an ocean between us. I hope everything is going well with you all and continues to do so.

Kgirl20 · 23/04/2019 22:19

Hi ladies, I don’t know if any of you still use this.... I am with a Bengali partner!! He was sent over here 20 years ago to work and provide for them. We have been together for the last 5 years I’m British and have a son. He hadn’t been over there since his been here. He currently went over to see them, which was great as I thought he hadn’t seen them for such a long time. He works to jobs so he can support them. So u can imagine work and sleep. Which has caused so many issues for us. He sends over so much money. Which I didn’t get involved as his been doing for all those years. His now come home and said his going to build them a house on the land they have..... in so mad as he has more responsibility’s for them then what he does here for us as a family. It’s all them and not us. He said well we don’t have anything anyways so what’s the problem. He is always arguing with them about money and lies to me and says it’s about something else. They are just greedy in my eyes but not in his. If I complain he sleeps and works .... maybe I’m just thinking about myself and feeling jealous coz it’s always about his family ....... I’m a wrong????

mennat · 15/10/2019 14:59

hello

i am an egyptian muslim living in germany , my boyfriend is a bangladeshi from syhlet and we met here in germany .
it was very hard and still is to even be in a relationship due to our major differences .
he is going to tell his family about me but im freaking out becus i am so afraid of their reaction that im thinking of leaving him ....but i love him more than anything and i need an advice please
thank you

Denaea · 17/12/2019 08:04

Hi there, i am a turkish new muslim, i have recently reverted. My boyfriend is a bengali muslim, we have been together for over a year now but had broken up recently because he is saying his mum will never acceptnme because i am not bengali. I personally have hope, but he cant risk losing his family. Is there anything i can do?

ElenaTD · 15/01/2020 10:10

Hi all,
It's incredible to read through this thread and hear all your stories! I'm seeing a British born Bengali and we've started talking about marriage etc. He's the first born son and lives with his family. I'm ok to convert to Islam and raise our children as Muslim but I'm worried about living with his family as I have been living away from home and my home country for over 2/3 of my life now. I have lived and worked in over 10 countries and I am very independent, open-minded, liberal and very opinionated. He's the first one from his family to marry outside of the community so he is also lost on how he could help me/ what he could warn me about. Any advice, tips on do's and don't's, warnings, personal stories would be welcome! Anything I should be wary of?
Thanks a million! E x

MercedesDeMonteChristo · 15/02/2020 19:59

Do not live with his family is my advice. They are likely to be intrusive and your independence will be very difficult. By all means live nearby and forge good relations but absolutely do not do it.

To the previous poster, istersen bana bir PM yaz.

jadey0885 · 25/02/2020 21:20

Hi op

I have 2 dual heritage children. I'm white my partner is black.

What would like to know?

mennat · 01/10/2020 11:15

hello :)
im egyptian ,getting married to a bangladeshi in germany . but he need a paper 'proof of being unmarried from bangladesh' but unfortunately he cant go as his family might lock him in since they are against this . any ideas how to get that paper?

Fatima1985 · 15/03/2021 04:57

Hi there. I know it's like 13 years later. But I need advice. I'm now married to Bangali and I'm English and I'm feeling like I'm busy loosing it