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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

mums with nigerian partners

41 replies

chiklicx · 06/03/2008 00:33

hi, would like to chat with mums who have nigerian partners or are nigerian, have 2 boys 8 yrs and 6 months.

OP posts:
abibatousmum · 06/03/2008 22:02

hi chiklicx hope you find some! I am married to a Gambian man and have started a thread looking to chat with Gambian mums or women married to Gambians but no luck so far.

Original poster
chiklicx · 07/03/2008 00:13

hi, there must not be many of us on here! How old is your little one? I guess you have similar issues anyway and understand what we have to put up with! lol!

OP posts:
Plussizemummy · 09/03/2008 11:36

Hi Chik,

I am a mum to a 3 week old baby and have a Naija hubbie! Thought that there would be alot more of us about. I'd very happily have a chat with you! I've already faced the Naming Ceremony 7 days after giving birth and now my MIL calls everyday with new advice. She's particularly concerned about DDs bellybutton and the fact that her ears have yet to be pierced...lol

Original poster
chiklicx · 14/03/2008 01:03

Hi congratulations on the birth of your baby girl! What nigerian name did you give her?
I thought there would be more of us too!
My PIL have been ringing all the time since we got married as well! I think they're disappointed that DS has not been circumcised, I bet you're glad you had a girl!
What part of nigeria is ur hubby from? Mine's from enugu.

OP posts:
anorak · 14/03/2008 01:23

Hi, I think there are one or two other mumsnetters with Nigerian partners also one who lives in Nigeria, if you bump this up a few times during the day when it's busier you might catch them.

watching · 14/03/2008 08:58

HI my dh is nigerian. I am 15 weeks, and so far I think I've got off lightly! Obviously things will change when the LO arrives. We've decided to have an english first name and nigerian middle name. DH is more transfixed on english name but will dare say consult regarding the nigerian name. The thought of having to have a naming ceramony 7 days after the birth fills me with dread! But hopefully people won't fly in from Lagos - will get dh to try and delay this, esp if I end up having a cs which is highly likely

Plussizemummy · 25/04/2008 20:16

Hello all,

I've been missing in action for a while - new babies are so demanding dammit...lol. Anyway, nice to see that there are a few of us on here with Naija partners. Chik - We gave DD 2 Nigerian names Damilola and Teniola. So now she has 2 Irish names and 2 Nigerian names - hugely impractical but alas the only way to keep all interested parties happy! Damilola was the name we liked out of the list that we received from the in-laws. But then they decided to start calling her Teniola, so DH waited until we went to register the birth and then announced that he felt that it was only right that we include Teniola on the birth cert. Course he knew that there was no way that I could argue with him at the Town Hall, so the best that I could do was to insist that we also name her Bridget after my Mum and Grandma...lol. Poor DD, I'm sure that she'll hate us when she grows up!

In the meantime, my MIL is coming from Nigeria in 10 days time. She is allegedly staying for 5 weeks - OMG!Looking forward to seeing her n all, just hope that she'll respect the fact that DD is raised differently to how she may be used to.Thinking specifically about the earring issue here - she's obsessed with DD having her ears pierced asap. Apparently she won't really look like a girl until that happens. Personally, I'd like to wait until she's 4 or 5 before they get pierced, but the pressure is mounting - Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies!

So, even though I haven't posted for ages would love to hear how you guys are getting on. How's ur pregnancy going Watch? And has your DS been circumsized yet Chik?

Gotta get back to being a Mummy now!

xxx

habashia · 13/05/2008 15:15

hiya, this is my first post on mumsnet! im married to a naija man too - great to meet others. iv been pretty stubborn about not cooking his food till now but i have to start cause he wants his baby brought up on his food as well as culture lol!

was annoying when naming her because so many names were shot down because 'nigerians just ouldnt get it!' lol. in the end i just let him choose but for the next one i dont care im going to name them what i want!

smithder · 16/05/2008 15:29

Hi

I am married to an igbo man for the last 5 years and we have 2 little boys 4 and 2. I have only just started to cook Nigerian food - can make a pretty nice stew and jollof rice. I could live on fried rice though

3timer · 28/05/2008 22:38

Hi guys, Im married to a Nigerian for 8yrs, we have 2 girls, nearly 7 and 4 (in july) and a little boy 18 mths.
On my 1st daughter we had the 'naming' ceremony, they were more interested in the free drink etc than my little baby who was trying to sleep upstairs while their music blared downstairs!! My dh gave up then and on 2 and 3 there was nothing except our good old christening!
There was the thing that if a girl does not have her ears pirced, they think it is a boy! Even though she is wearing a pink dress................
When it comes to circumcition.....my dh mentioned it a while ago and i made an appointmet at the hosp, thank god they havnt got back to us yet, why put a baby through that just because it is your 'culture', they dont seem to want to hear others views do they?????

Oh god girls, Im sure we have alot to chat about lol!
My dh cooks his own food, why would I try to cook a meal that i dont know how it should taste etc? He's cool about that, he loves my 'irish' cooking!

Look forward to the chats here, I know we will all have similar situations!!!!

3timer · 28/05/2008 22:43

Ps forgot to say, all my kids have nigerian names, but they also have their irish names, which we call them by, its all about compromise, but all their nig names are beautiful, so are their irish ones, I had input on the african name as was given a list, but it is hard enough to raise mixed race children without 'different' names, if you know what i mean??
My daughters nigerian names are Ore and Lola, my son is Adelani....cute

smithder · 29/05/2008 12:11

My boys igbo names are Chukwudubem and Ebubechukwu which my husband calls them. I call them by their Irish names

I reason why I cook my husband's food is that my kids love it as well especially the soups and the pounded yam

Where in Ireland are you based 3timer. I'm in D15

3timer · 29/05/2008 14:11

Hey, am in D24! Have to agree about the fried rice, the kids love it as well esp the prawns, which I pick out! My dd2 loves fish and actualy begs for the eyeball!! She is so gross!!!!!
God I wouldnt even be able to pronounce your sons names! Do you shorten them?

3timer · 29/05/2008 14:12

Hey, am in D24! Have to agree about the fried rice, the kids love it as well esp the prawns, which I pick out! My dd2 loves fish and actualy begs for the eyeball!! She is so gross!!!!!
God I wouldnt even be able to pronounce your sons names! Do you shorten them?

smithder · 29/05/2008 17:04

Hi

yeah they are Ebube and Chidubem. My boys love the chicken bits in the soups and they lick their fingerd with all the soup on them. It's horrible to watch!!

There are a lot more nigerian/irish families now do you find, especially in Blanch it's so multicultural

3timer · 29/05/2008 21:20

I dont know any other girls here with nigerian hubbies, so this is a great discovery for me! I see alot of mixed race couples, but not with as many kids as me hehe (3)!! But im sure there will be more and more!

My MIL came over last summer for 6 WEEKS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The kids didnt take to her much, she needed alot of looking after etc and dh was off working, it was so hard!
He has talked about bringing her back again, i just change the subject...........

smithder · 30/05/2008 11:17

Did she speak good English??. We went over to Nigeria abput 2 years ago aND I met my mother in law but she spoke little English so it was hard communicating. Have you been to Nigeria.

3timer · 30/05/2008 12:58

Well I think a big part of the problem was that she didnt understand me, she spoke a bit of english, but just didnt understand me!! It was so awkward.
I have been to Nigeria, in 2002, I didnt have any desire to go back, but dh has been back about 3 times, he took dd1 with him in 2006, I was a nervous wreck at home! I kept calling her, making sure she was wearing her seatbelt, drinking water etc etc! Never again, if he wants them to go there, which is understandable, i will go too.

What did you think of it?

3timer · 05/06/2008 20:47

Where is everyone?? Where's the OP???!!!!

smithder · 06/06/2008 20:25

Hi

Just wondering if there are any irish people out there with nigerian partners looking for a chance to reallocate to Nigeria and who have teaching experience/experience running a school.There is an great opportunity available in Abuja at the moment. If you want to hear more please email [email protected]

3timer · 18/06/2008 00:40

Hi Guys, just wondering why this thread was started if no one uses it???? I would love to chat to you guys, but Im confused???????

3timer · 03/07/2008 23:25

Hey, where is everyone? I thought this would be a great thread lol!!!!

tigermama · 23/07/2008 01:35

I am Nigerian with an English partner. We are going through a very painful and acrimonious separation. We have 2 boys. Am I allowed to contribute to this thread?

3timer · 01/08/2008 13:13

Sorry to hear that tigermama. I thik relationships are hard enough, but that bit more so when 2 people are from different backrouds.
What age are your kiddies?
x

N170698 · 19/03/2009 16:55

Hi,

Looks like everyone is gone, but nevermind, I am used to talking to myself lol. Anyway, I had, well still technically have, a husband from Nigeria, he is yoruba, a right a*se! Was with him for 10 years, for most was very unhappy, always making lots of sacrifices, trying desperately to make him happy, cooking his food, trying my best anyway, going along with things I wasn't always happy with.. our only son is almost 11 and unfortunately autistic (but still gorgeous). I am french, he was often very offensive, to me, pointing out how he thought I lacked respect, education and France was this, and that.
I never had to put up with any in laws as his Mum has passed long time ago and hasn't spoken to his dad pretty much since...
Basically, he was in control, my opinion did not count, it was his way or the highway and eventually I took the 2nd option.
Since, although he has a well paid job he has refused to pay maintenance, never taken his son home for visits (up to recently he came round ours to see him for a bit), and I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks bcos I wouldn't accept some mail for him at my address ( I mean how stupid does he think I am). The plans are that he wants to return to Nigeria, regardless of his son. Basically he doesn't give a damn about him.

So that's the wonderfull Nigerian man I made the huge mistake of marrying(he won't even divorce, I have to wait another 2 years b4 I can divorce without his say so!). But I am glad to see, I just seem to have picked one of the worst LOL, and there are some happy marriages out there. I guess I loved him once, was prepared to compromise, but it just became impossible.

If anyone knows how to find people in Nigeria, let me know, I'd like to find his sister, I am looking for a person who might agree to mediate, but so far I am getting nowhere.