wtf am i supposed to do with all these indian sweets? aibu

[pukkapatch]

i dont know anyone who likes the things. yet asians always seem to send these things round on any celebratory occasion.
i;ve just been handed a carrier bag full of cut price jalebi, gulabjaman and two other things, i dont even know what they are called.
no one in my house likes these things or eats them. none of my friends like them. expecially not the crappy cheap ones. so why do people still send them round?
a box of chocolotaes would have been appreciated. the tradition is something sweet. so why dont they think first?
aibu?

I love them, no one ever gives me a bag full!

who gave them to you?

I would just appreciate the gesture and send me the gulab jambon as I'm addicted to those things

Message withdrawn

Not unreasonable but a tad churlish. It is just a tradition and supposed to be a nice thing.

Have always wanted to try them
Throw some over here will ya!

oh pass them over to me, i havent had them for ages!! was actually thinking about the white sweet round ones today, i miss them!!

nice

i think very ungrateful.you should appreciate that whoever it was,is kind enough to think of you.

btw-i'll have them!

Well, the Indians do many things very well, but sweets ain't one of 'em!

But it's not a nice OP, pukka. People do things out of kindness, and you should accept them with good grace.

you are all very welcome to them.
i live in surrey. come on round

i used to be naive and think that i should appreciate the gesture, say thank you gracefully, and then try to fob them off on friends.
however.
they are from inlaws. all of whom are big major politicians. dh elder brother has just had a son. this is a family in which sons are considered very important. until now, my ds's have been the only 'heirs'. they want to play politics with me. so however i react to the childs birth, i am going to portrayed negatively. for example they hid the pregnancy from us, probly thought we would do black magic on them or osme such.
the fact that i dont want to play their games has never been a deterrent to them. they have made my life miserable anyways. now at least i understand the fact that they play these games. and can recognise them, though can never react appropriately as i am just toooo stupid for my own good.

actually. i think that is probly why i am more upset. i know there will be nastiniess directed at me in the very near future. i want to be left alone to live my life, and not be involved intheir stupid powerplays. but they wont leave me alone.

whats that got to do with sweets?

what on earth is all that to do with the sweets? Just throw them out if they bug you so much.

Pukka, are you unhappy in a multi-cultural marriage?

Eat them

They are delicious.

Mind you, I've only ever eaten the Ambala ones.

oh...its not the sweets....

Pukka - appreciate you may have underlying issues but OP left a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended)

evil, that's what i have always been taught by my parents. and i 'd like to think thats what i do.
but from these people, i know they dont do things with positive intentions.
if i coo at the baby, they'll think i'm giving it the evil eye
if i dont coo at the baby, they'll think im an evil bith wishing them bad.
they dont seem to understand that i can be happy that my dc have a new cousin. and they have a healthy baby.
bil was very nice to me a long time ago. since then, he has always been distant, but nice, polite civilised. his partner, she's not his wife, (a whole nother can of worms) is a very smart, cunning woman who has gone out of her way to split the family against me.
i just want to be left out of all this.

Ahh!!! Now I'm understanding much more! My DH is Arabic and if you give sweets in Arabic culture - while the gesture is always appreciated, they have to be nice sweets (obv not if the people in question are poor) from a good shop, the label is very important....so cut price sweets....especially from in laws....big no no!!!

When I went to M.East, we got all the chocs from this upmarket sweet shop called Patchi that everyone raves over to create good and lasting impression!!!

Mind you, its same over here really - people turn up with Lidls or Aldi pud and people are sniffy about it, but coo over a Marks and Sparks one.....

Yvaine - mmmmmm at Ambala!!!!!

PS

Evil Eye?? If so, give evil eye amulet and then you can coo as much as you like as you have counteracted it with amulet! The evil eye is a mahoosive thing in DH's family! DS has about 10 amulets! If I put them all on him, he'd be a mini Ali G!!

gibbon, the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.
i have been brought up to always accept gracioulsy whatever is given. a smile, and a thank you.
but these people, my inlaws arent like that. yes, lots and lots of thread on state of my marriage etc. (i'm not a name changer as such. but have been known by lots of names on mn)
ambala sweets are the best indian sweets supposedly. according to my inlaws anyways. and the fact that they havent sent those to us is some sort of family politics on their part. i recognise that. but not being a player. just feel really really crap.
my dc are very happy at having a new cousin. and i am very happy with them. why cant it jus tbe about that?

oh dear, you sound ultra-stressed, is it always this bad? I don't think your feelings have much to do with the fact that your ILs are Asian - loony manipulative IL behaviour transcends all cultural and racial boundaries.

The sweets are just the last straw - you know that - bin them if you want, it's your house. A perfectly sane and very nice friend of mine received a bunch of flowers from her mother last week, for her birthday. My lovely and normally very serene friend burst into tears, stomped all over the house and binned the flowers without even taking them out of the cellophane. The reasons for this reaction were very murky and complicated (I sort of understand now, after hours of listening and nodding ). Families are a bloody nightmare somtimes.

Must we turn this thread into another "AHA!!! Another racist!! Burn the heretic!!" thread? The OP is just fed up and miserable, and the carrier bag full of cheap manky sweets has tipped her over the edge... MN is supposed to be supportive in these situations, isn't it?

Wise words greeny but from OP who would of known what was at the heart of it?

lol crook. ten amulets? poor baby.
i wouldnt know where to get an amulet from? mothercare is my usual port of call for newborn pressies
my internet connection is annoyingly slow right now. {may be its evil eye along with the sweets?)