Was I racist?

[PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo]

Dh and I are white. All our children have blue marks on their bums. Ds2 has features that all of us have individually, but put together on him he looks mixed-race. So sometimes I call him "Brown Baby". Today I got jumped on by someone for doing this. She said that because neither dh nor I are black, ds2 isn't mixed-race, and so it's racist to pretend that he is, particularly to use a term that you wouldn't call a 'true' mixed-race baby.

What do you think?

I don't think so. It is an accurate description from what you are saying! I have two white kids, one brown and one with a healthy tan! Technically the twins are mixed race, but that isnt how they look.

i can't see how that's racist unless you treat him worse than your other children.

no i dont think its racist at all. Your friend/acquaintance needs to chill a bit

No, and I do have mixed raced kids. It's only racist if it actually offends someone and I cant imagine who it would offend.

It might sound offensive to some people and might muddle the child perhaps. We call one of the twins sometimes baby buffalo (very affectionately).. laughing as I type...goodness knows what effect that has on him.

Thanks.

Not racist at all if its an accurate description. I know someone with a very obviously mixed race baby who affectionately calls her, her brown baby.

Forgot to add you should point out to this women, mixed race does not always mean one parent is black, there are thousands of possible combinations!

Message withdrawn

I certainly dont think you were being racist,this woman sounds abit odd or just thick tbh,anyway,i have v pale white skin,red hair,green eyes and genetically i am deffo mixed race.

since when does "brown" mean mixed race?

It's a term of endearment you use for one of your children.
I think the person who took offence is over-reacting.

No you were not being racist!
Nor does it sound as if you are pretending that your child is of black mixed race heritage.

I am the parent of a white / Indian mixed race child.

My family, white, have 'blue spots'. It is, apparantly, indicative of African or Asian heritage somewhere, but then that genetic history programme before Chrstmas demonstrated that most of us do have a right old mix of background, wherever we think we come from.

The woman was white, I don't know whther she has any sort of connection with non-whites, and therefore feels she is particularly knowledgeable or experienced, or whether she's just overly PC. But from your responses I suspect it's the latter!

TBH I'm thoroughly intrigued by my beautiful dusky boy. The fact that all three of our children have Mongolian Blue marks on their bums (whcih have never been seen before in either family, as far as anyone is aware) does suggest that somewhere in our murky pasts there were black or asiatic ancestors on both sides.

You're not being racist. Moreover most racist people would not post on this site to seek reassurance from people likely to have mixed race families. My ds is mixed-race (I am White, Dh is Black). Dh calls him golden boy/child - no difference in my opinion as you could have a white child who is olive in appearance (so why can't you say it).

I'm mixed race (sort of dark olive) and so, obviously, is my baby (pale yellow) and I call her my buttercup baby because she's yellow. It's not racist at all, IMO. There's a world of difference between saying something like that affectionately and saying it as an insult and you sound like a lovely mum.

I also call my baby chubster. Probably giving her a complex for life!

yes lucicle I call mine chubbalubba

much worse

This woman is being ridiculously politically correct. Why is she getting offended on behalf of people who wouldn't be offended anyway.
Nothing at all wrong with brown baby.

I am white, dh is Asian and DD is a lovely olivey colour, more my skin tone than his (I've got a Jewish parent). I call her brown baby. I also call her monkey and tinker and pumpkin-face. Honestly, I think your friend is taking being PC just a little too far. By her reckoning I'm probably being racist against people of colour, gypsies and vegetables.

Had to post - the idea of being vegetablist has really made me chuckle!

I've got 3 gorgeous children who range from very white caucasian to little brown S Asian, with one in the middle. TBH if someone said what a lovely brown baby I'd be really pleased that they'd picked up on their heritage. And they tan beautifully which is wonderful! I'd be quite cross with someone interfering with my family life if they told me I couldn't call my children any of the names I do.

Still chuckling!

i'm not sure what i think of this tbh.i don't know if i'd be offended if i heard you say it or not but i do think i'd find it odd.if you are both white then your child isn't mixed or 'brown' so I'd wonder why you felt the need to say it,especially when you talk about 'features' what features are you talking about?

my dd3 is referred to as my 'gypsy' child as she looks like a romany. deep in my mums family line are romany gypsy. dd3 is darker than my other 2 children, was born with jet black hair, which curled beuatifully after a few months, mongolian blue spot and her eyes are black almost. I am utterly besotted with her, but do get some funny looks if i mention 'gypsy child' in public.

Ah, Lady V, I'd love to have a daughter like that. If I had a girl, thats how i imagine she'd be, for various reasons. As it is , we've been blessed with 3 blondy boys instead