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Original poster

How much "allowance" do you get at month?

70 replies

bellababe · 02/07/2005 22:07

This one's for SAHM's: what's your monthly allowance? Please specify no. of children and area lived in. Also what has to come out of this amount.

OP posts:

Tortington · 03/07/2005 00:33

yer 'avin a giraffe!

MamaMaiasaura · 03/07/2005 00:41

opps. Sorry meant to read that I am full time student and mum to one (he is 5). Kind of a bit as i have always been main bread winner and this sit is so very diff for me. dp is very much in control of finances.

sallystrawberry · 03/07/2005 00:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geekgrrl · 03/07/2005 07:46

crikey - my grandma is the only person I know in real life who has ever been in receipt of an allowance from her husband.
No allowances here either, though I do tell dh what bigger things he can and can't buy. Everything comes out of our joint account, the savings accounts are all in my name (but of course they're considered 'our' savings) and the house is in joint names.
Splitting and allowances all sounds terribly complicated, but whatever works for your family...
I think I would be completely gobsmacked though if dh suggested seperate accounts accounts and an allowance for me - don't you find it demeaning?

angelp · 03/07/2005 08:16

On the contrary - I love having an 'allowance' - though bit of an old fashioned way to put it. DH pays all bills, DD's, food etc etc. The money he puts into my account is for me to do what I want with, can be spent on coffees and lunches out everyday if I choose or clothes for me or spoiling DD or whatever I chose. Don't have to ask him or justify it. It is his way of giving me some financial freedom. Also can buy things for him without having to raid joint account. Works for us.

KBear · 03/07/2005 08:49

Our money works out like this. My wage pays the mortgage and council tax and a savings bond for the DKs.

His money pays everything else then we sort of split what's left so we each get a amount each month to squander at will!! He can spend his on having a pint with the boys or clothes or whatever and I can buy whatever makes me happy.

Ithink this is fairer than one partner spending all the spare cash and leaving none for the other. Some people don't share well! Friends of mine have been known to say "so and so took £100 from the joint account and wasted it on whatever leaving me short for the shopping". Better if everything is accounted for then you can spunk your money on what you want.

WideWebWitch · 03/07/2005 08:56

All our money is in one joint account and we both have equal access. I'm a sahm atm but was a wohm last year and dp was a sahd - the arrangement was the same then. Everything comes out of the joint.

misdee · 03/07/2005 09:04

i have access to dh money more than he does.

lunavix · 03/07/2005 09:05

All joint here.

I'd like to say I think this is a valid question as it differs so much just between my friends. I think perhaps it was the use of the word 'allowance' that was wrong!

A friend's h works, and she doesn't. He pays for everything, and gives her the rest. She also gets tax credits and benefits etc (which he doesnt know about) but spends that on the kids or saves it for them.

She's just started working as a CM and is bringing in £1000 - for her to spend or save at her whim!

Another friend works (gets about £350) which is hers to spend on presents, kids etc. Everything else food mortgage bills etc her h pays for and he spends the rest of what he earns.

All money is per month btw!

Original poster

bellababe · 03/07/2005 09:13

Gosh! So don't kill the thread. Don't know how many of you noticed that the word "allowance" was in ".." !!!
Of course it is so different for everyone. Our finances are very complicated due to family business/complications etc, so dh's salary is not at all representative of the work he does. As a result, our joint a/c has a certain amount dropped into it every month and I manage the majority of the household finances. I also manage the household, and often find myself paying for things which are not "household finance" stuff (on the basis that it all comes from the same place anyway), and as a result find myself struggling sometimes, especially when all 3 children's feet have grown etc. While dh would never deny me what I need I find it very hard indeed to tell him I need access to more and to explain why, so I am just wondering how other people manage, or rather how much on.
But... I can see now that it really was a stupid question and has got me nowhere as of course no-one has the same setup as me as it really is very unusual so I can't learn anything from anyone else.

OP posts:

ssd · 03/07/2005 10:04

Is an allowance the same as "pin" money? I used to work with an older lady who got pin money, never knew what it was....

Sorry but I find the idea of "getting" an allowance degrading. His money is mine and mine is his and that's that.

geekgrrl · 03/07/2005 10:09

bellababe, I don't think it sounds as though your problems are related to your financial situation - we too have our own company with two business accounts and payroll etc., plus receive various disability benefits so money comes into the account in various ways and the amount of money we get varies.
In the end though we both have equal access to the money in our personal account and are both expected to be reasonable with spending it, which we are.
We too have three children, so I know the expenses there. As your kids are as much your husband's children as yours I don't think you should have any hesitation whatsoever to tell him that you need a bit more money made available for them.

geekgrrl · 03/07/2005 10:10

just wanted to add that whilst it is my company too on paper, dh does 100% of the work, so it's not like I've earned any of the money in the workplace.

CarolinaMoon · 03/07/2005 10:35

we worked out how much all the usual monthly outgoings are (inc food), then split the rest of dp's salary down the middle. He pays my half plus the amount for bills in my name into my account each month. Our ds is still v small though, so most regular spending on him is just a couple of quid here and there for baby groups.

We've never had a joint account (except for the mortgage) and I really wouldn't want to start now - it would lead to all sorts of arguments aobut who spent more than their fair share.

Bellababe, would it help to go over your bank statements for the last couple of months with your DH and point out exactly how much you've needed to spend on the kids' clothes etc - if he isn't doing that shopping he's probably got no idea how much they can cost or how often you need to replace them.

geranium · 03/07/2005 17:47

Pretty similar to CarolineMoon. We each have our own bank account. I thnk I'd feel too "hemmed in" having a joint bank account. Prefer the privacy of having my own and letting dh have his. Of the total amount, we work out the bills and the various outgoings I have from being SAHM (toddler groups etc etc) and dh has from working (tube ticket etc) and then split what's left down the middle. Works for us and I find gives me much more control of the finances than a joint account would.

hercules · 03/07/2005 18:01

All goes into one account and we pay bills out of this and just take what we need. Sorry, but the idea of an "allowance" reminds me why I go to work!

Kittypickle · 03/07/2005 18:29

Everything goes into a joint account and I'm in charge of the budget. The money is jointly ours - DH's contribution to this is his work outside of the home and mine is the childcare and running of the house.

RTKangaMummy · 03/07/2005 18:39

It all goes in and some comes out again

starrynight · 03/07/2005 18:42

Man, I wish I had an allowance! Rather than the 50p me and DH split down the middle every month after everything has been paid out of his pathetic meagre salary. Sigh. (3 kids, 4th on way - live in midlands)

starrynight · 03/07/2005 18:48

I should add that we have 2 joint accounts and a variety of empty savings accounts... hmph.

Twiglett · 03/07/2005 18:51

am PMSL at concept of DH giving me an allowance .. what a ridiculous outmoded concept .. ha ha ha ha ha

hercules · 03/07/2005 19:04

Tell me, if you've been a bit naughty one month does the dh cut your allowance slightly? More perhaps for performing your duties well?

Mojomummy · 03/07/2005 19:17

I pay £300 a month into a joint bank account & the rest is mine. Well, I generally buy all the groceries etc as well. Not sure what DH pays in, but everything for the house comes out of that account.

We both have our own accounts & we're supposed to have a holiday fund but haven't got round to that one yet !

SoupDragon · 03/07/2005 19:29

As much as I want.

DH puts an amount in my current account to cover any DDs like Sky & life insurance, we have a joint account and he pays my credit card off each month, no questions asked.

gigglinggoblin · 03/07/2005 19:36

we have our own bank acccounts cos we cant be bothered to get a joint one. i spend all the tax credits, child benefit etc as it gets paid into my account. i also spend all dps salary cos i have his bank card . i occasionally allow him the odd fiver

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