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Original poster

is it normal for people to use their overdraft as part of their income....

39 replies

mum2samandalex · 12/10/2009 09:24

dh owes some money on credit cards more then i thought. Ive now looked at his bank statement and his wages hardly cover his overdraft by the time he's paid me my food moeny etc he's already into his overdraft. Do people live like this? Im devastated-i could never live like this. He says its under control but that is until something happens. Ive said our marriage is over but im trying to understand whether people do live like this in these hard times.

OP posts:

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 12/10/2009 09:25

And i mean he's already into his overdraft at the beginning at month.

OP posts:

ilove · 12/10/2009 09:31

Yes

sulkinghusband · 12/10/2009 09:33

no, we don't, but have to live frugally.

dizietsma · 12/10/2009 09:35

Yes, that's why I always refuse overdrafts when they're offered to me. I'm too poor to not eventually use it in some kind of emergency and then end up constantly in the red.

IdrisTheDragon · 12/10/2009 09:35

Yes people do. It doesn't actually mean that they are terrible people. And it is a good thing that DH and I haven't chosen to end our marriage due to it, although as we have a joint account it is both of us.

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 12/10/2009 09:37

I see my overdraft as emergency money and would try to avoid going into it and dont even have a credit card.On the 3rd of june he was already down £66 3 days after being paid.

OP posts:

Drusilla · 12/10/2009 09:37

It is normal for plenty of people IME. I bet his bank love him

sarah293 · 12/10/2009 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

starwhoreswonaprize · 12/10/2009 09:41

Your marriage is over because of an overdraft....wow I would think it was over a long time ago. Did you ever love the man?
Why do you have separate finances that you've only just noticed?
Can't you take over the finances if it's so serious for you?

My overdraft is £10453....(well my DH's account is)

123andaway · 12/10/2009 09:49

When I was married we lived in the overdraft. Wages just about bought us into the black, then we were back down into overdraft for the rest of the month. Although in the 4 years I've been single I've not touched my overdraft once.

Yes it is - I wouldn't say normal - but pretty common.

You're marriage is over becase of this - sounds a bit extreme?

TrillianSlasher · 12/10/2009 09:49

DP still has interest-free overdraft leftover from being a student, so he lives in it. But I believe that he'll be out of it like a shot once they start charging (he has emergency money in a savings account). If he can't cover it I'll lend him some at a much more reasonable rate of interest

stinkypinky · 12/10/2009 09:55

Depending on the overdraft, it can be a cheaper way of 'borrowing money' - much better than a credit card. My DH is crap with money (a bancrupt in past) and I have to be quite vigilent (have a young family). I would not be without him, as he is my best friend (and a damn good s**g)

Money can be a problem, yes, but there are much worse things a man can do... Please try to get things in perspective.

mazzystartled · 12/10/2009 09:55

I used to when I was single and fancy free. But then it didn't matter as much when I didn't have other people relying on me. It is definitely a vicious circle. Once you have used £100, £50 more doesn't seem like much, and then before you know it you're at the max. I just decided one monh enoughwas enough, lived on the minimum and paid it off. And closed the overdraft facility.

I've never had credit cards, though.

Lilyloooohhhh · 12/10/2009 14:19

We do have paid a big chunk of it off but now am always in the other half and no immediate way of paying this off in the future.
Came from when dp was in between jobs.

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 12/10/2009 17:39

im aware here is much worse which is why im asking whether its normal. Im angry that he lied and is accumulating debt when he could of admitted he was struggling and we could of sat down and worked it out. We have a young family and he is our only earner so surely him maxing out his credit cards and overdraft behind his wifes back is a big thing.

OP posts:

LowLevelWhingeing · 12/10/2009 17:43

yes we've done this. Like others have said, there's always something that comes up when you're on a tight budget - car breaks down, vets fees or whatever, and then it's difficult to claw back out again.

Jajas · 12/10/2009 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorotheaPlentighoul · 12/10/2009 17:50

Goodness me. I can't recall the last time I spent more than 6 months out of my OD. DP is fully aware and though not as bad as me, he uses his too.

I don't really think it's quite the betrayal you see it as - not sure why you are so angry you would end your marriage. Other issues?

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 12/10/2009 18:49

yes there are other issues a build up of issues. So maxing out on credit cards is ok as well then?

OP posts:

DorotheaPlentighoul · 12/10/2009 19:30

Credit cards much more of a big deal IMHO.

JaMmRocks · 12/10/2009 19:35

These things happen, to good people too. Sometimes it's a mess you just can't get out of, and feel very ashamed - this may be why he hasn't been able to tell you. Recrimination isn't going to help, it's certainly not A Good Thing that he's amassed debt, but perhaps if you could pull together to sort it out and talk about how it happened, then your marriage may be all the better further down the track?

lou031205 · 12/10/2009 19:55

It can become 'what you do', and so it keeps happening until there is no way out. The charges take up your income, so you borrow your way out of debt, but of course it never happens. DH and I declared BR in 2007. DH needed me to help him do that, because he was so deeply ashamed he couldn't face it. almost 3 years on, we haven't touched a penny of credit, and I am sure we never will.

Now, the idea of having an overdraft is frightening, let alone regularly using it. Then, we were never out of it.

duckyfuzz · 12/10/2009 20:00

maybe being the only breadwinner is too much for him and he can't deal with it? maybe the pressure is too much and he has to use credit cards/overdraft to meet what he perceives are his 'duties'? I'm amazed a marriage of any substance could be ended over this without talkign it through

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 12/10/2009 20:59

but hes ran up debts before and i did talk to him then and he promised me he wouldnt hide any money troubles from me. He refused a joint account so i can only keep tabs on that. Mean while hes maxing out credit cards and nearly 1500 k into his OD and letting me carry on spending as normal.

He works away and on paper his income looks great. But in reality we are paying two lots of rent and food etc plus the stress of living apart. We cant sell our house so i cant move to him and he cant get a job on the income he is on now where i am.Really dont want to privite rent with two children.I cant afford to go out to work as childcare is so expensive. Im obviuosly more annoyed about the credit cards pissed off wth the OD thing just because if something went wrong like the car or whatever we have nothing to fall back on. And yes it is a vicious circle. Some people live like that some dont.

OP posts:

scaryteacher · 12/10/2009 21:33

Why are you paying two lots of rent if you own a house? Why isn't his employer helping out with the rent if he has to rent to work? Why don't you move to be with him, and rent your house out if you own it?

Presumably you can get WFTC to help with the childcare so you can work. I think your dh used to be in the RN, so you are aware what it is like to weekend.

Are you making sure that he has 25% CTAX reduction if he rents on hos own wherever he works?

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