A bit of background - we live in a barn converted 30 yrs ago, the farm cottage is bang next door and has access over part of OUR drive to get to their property.
She is a miserable old bat of 80 who, despite me never having done anything to upset her, has screamed abuse and threatened me. She is a bully and very unpleasant (you would laugh is you saw how much she makes me shake when I'm a fit 30 something, but I just don't do confrontation), she has fallen out with all 3 residents of our property, has lived here 45 yr so thinks she owns the place.
We need to replace the panel fence between us, her climbers have damaged it and it has reached the useful end of its life. We are having a post and rail put up, fencer has told me that he cannot board her side of the fence as she has too many shrubs, trees etc there are no laws governing this.
I informed her on monday that 2 weeks a fencer was coming to remove fence, it would be beneficial to her plants if she were to remove them from said fence because if fencers do it they may damage them. I also politely pointed out that they would need to move their car onto their own property as the contractor would need access with a small digger (also having some paving done but anyway she has no right to leave car where she has been leaving it)
I told her what fencer had said about boarding not being possfrom her side and she would have the arris rail.
An hour later she approached me in a very aggressive manner telling me she had taken advice (from a neighbout who I then saw return in her car, so she had been out and her computor) and I would be breaking the law, also said the border was narrow enough without having the arris rails. I politely pointed out there was no law and if she had the arris rails she wasuld actually gain some ground as posts 4" square and would be placed up to boundary and boarded on my side. She then said she would be taking professional advice, I politly said I looked forward to her doing so. She then asked if I was prepared to upset a condsidate neighbour about this. I gave a small snort and pointed out she was the least considerate neighbour I'd had. She asked for examples, I was able to name several including where she had let a visitor of hers block my car in making me 25 minutes late to collect DD from school. She countered this with why didn't you ask me to get it moved, to which I replied I did you told me it was the nurse dressing your DH's wound and I would have to wait. I also reminded her of the shouting abuse/threats she had made. She couldn't recall it at first then said, "oh, but that was 2 years ago."
Anyhoo, she takled me again today and said she has spoken to 2 surveyors and the CAB and taken Legal advise and I would be 'getting a letter'. I then called my solicitors who handled the house sale and regaled their dispute resolution chap with the sordid details.
No where on any deeds is a T marker noting who has responsibility for this, land reg have them on line and cannot see either. Solicitor says if I am convinced current fence is correctly placed up to the boundary then go ahead and replace away in whatever manner I wish.
I didn't ever want to live here due to 2 complex access issues and the adjoining rivers etc, it was my DH's choice of house, I have never settled here but we now cannot afford to move.
Since this am when she tackled me I have been shaking and not wanting to go out into the garden with DS. This is what happens everytime she confronts me.
Solicitor is happy (if I pay him) to write a letter for me to give to her if when the fencer starts she kicks off.
I don't know how much longer I can live like this, I have a DH that works away, 2 DC with SN (one only mild SEN other severe SN) and no support. I gave my DH hell on the phone today pointing out that I never wanted to buy this place and now I am sorting out all the shit.
Should I just hope that she will shuffle off to an old folk's home whilst I still have my sanity?