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Original poster

How to minimise the damage already done?

68 replies

dearme · 13/05/2005 22:24

Our dog bit ds's friend in our garden. the friend's parents were amazingly good about it though the bite needed stitches and the whole thing was awful. We felt terrible about it but the friend's parents were very good about it and did not blame us. The thing is, although the wounds have healed well, it may be that the friend will need something extra done, in a few years mainly for aesthetic reasons. The parents have suggested we sign some sort of document now to accept responsibility to cover any medical treatment in the future. My dh refuses point blank... but I feel sorry for the parents and understand that they would like some kind of assurance for the future. I don't beleive that these people would abuse our intention to help them out but my DH feels that they should just trust us to pay up if and when the kid needs or wants any work on his scars.

I really don't want to fall out with them over this especially as the two kids are still good friends and have been thru a very frightening experience.

Any one got any comments on my idea:

We suggest that the parents see a plastic surgeon now who could discuss what, if anything would need to be done, if and when it proves to be necessary. And how much roughly, at today's prices it would cost.

We then pay half of that cost, now, on the understanding that if the kid needs or wants nothing done they will repay it to us... and if he does we will pay the other half. That way we all have to trust each other.

I feel that might be the only way to assure the parents of our good intentions, I trust them by the way.. although we don't know each other well.

Or am I being naive and stupid?

OP posts:
Caligula · 13/05/2005 22:53

How did he bite dearme? Playfully or aggressively?

childbitingdog · 13/05/2005 22:53

No one is making fun of a child being bittn by a dog.

rickman · 13/05/2005 22:54

Message withdrawn

mychildgotbitbyadog · 13/05/2005 22:56

I apologise, but you are probably not going to like this but, the dog that bit my son was a family dog. All he did was walk past the dog whilst it was sleeping. It jumped up and grabbed him by the face. As it had never done anything like that before, we were very understanding of the situation. The owners immediate reaction was to have the dog put down - we actually argued against it and said that it was probably a one off incident. We were wrong, some weeks later it bit its owner and within days attacked another small child. The dog was put down and in hindsight, it should have happened immediately. We never believed the saying that once they have tasted blood they are increasingly likely to attack again, but we do now.

kid · 13/05/2005 22:56

I have heard that once a dog bites it is at risk of doing it again. But its harder to look at it that way when its your own dog, especially if you have had it since a puppy.

My mums dog bit my nephew 6 years ago right below his eye. We thought at the time she should have got rid of the dog but she didn't. The dog hasn't bit anyone since but often growls at the kids.

assumedname · 13/05/2005 22:56

I'm afraid I'm in your dh's camp. I wouldn't sign anything and I'd definitely check the household insurance for cover for this sort of thing.

What's wrong with an NHS operation in the future, if the child needs something doing?

Original poster
dearme · 13/05/2005 22:57

Money was the last thing on the parents' minds at the time. I don't know what I would do in their situation.

My only concern is to do the right thing now and also to preserve these kids's friendship.

OP posts:
Original poster
dearme · 13/05/2005 22:58

We don't live in the Uk, the emergency treatment was done on the state but I'm not sure that aesthetic treatment is available.

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hercules · 13/05/2005 22:59

A friend of mine had a similar thing and got advice on this. They were told that once the dog crosses the line then the chances of it happening again are far too likely. Not a risk I'd take nor could I live with the guilt of hurting someone elses child after I knew it had already hurt one child.
Sorry, but if my child was bitten by a dog who had previously bitten another child then.......

rickman · 13/05/2005 22:59

Message withdrawn

joash · 13/05/2005 23:00

me too - don't keep the dog, not with kids around.

hercules · 13/05/2005 23:01

The thing is surely if you keep the dog are you not obliged to inform anyone has a child who comes into contact with this dog about the risk? Morally obliged I mean.

kid · 13/05/2005 23:03

I don't agree with it, but as it happened on dearme's property, there is nothing anyone but dearme can do about it.

assumedname · 13/05/2005 23:04

What is the law about this sort of thing where you live?

Original poster
dearme · 13/05/2005 23:05

Yes, the dog is still around. My younger children, who witnessed the bite, begged us with tears in their eyes not to get rid of the dog. They were shattered by what they saw, and yes it was an agressive bite, but they still felt ... god I don't know what logic they use, they still adore the dog and I know for certain that the trauma would have gone very very deep if we put him down.

We are keeping the dog but he will never ever have the chance to do that again.

OP posts:
joash · 13/05/2005 23:07

How can you be sure, are you having all it's teeth removed???

ScummyMummy · 13/05/2005 23:08

I must admit that I too would want the dog put down or moved to a child free zone if my child was bitten seriously enough to cause long term scarring. Where did it bite him? Are you really confident that your own kids are safe?

Sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear and not helpful re: the money situation. Poor you- it sounds very stressful

Caligula · 13/05/2005 23:08

I would definitely get rid of the dog.

I think you need to take legal advice on this dearme. If it were my child and s/he needed cosmetic treatment in the future, I really wouldn't see why I should pay for it, if the state wasn't willing to. I can understand the parents wanting you to admit liability in writing, to make any future treatment unproblematic.

The problem with not admitting liability in writing now, is that these parents may feel they have to take you to court now, in order to avoid a potential court battle in the future. It's a real dilemma.

kid · 13/05/2005 23:09

I have to say, if it was my dog I couldn't keep it. Firstly I wouldn't want to be responsible for it incase it did bite another child, but I would also be worried about my own children.

hercules · 13/05/2005 23:10

I appreciate they would be heartbroken but what if the dog bit them on their face? I couldnt live with that guilt. They would get over losing their dog but possibly not being bitten by it.

Caligula · 13/05/2005 23:10

Are you keeping it muzzled or something? Because that's the only way you can be 100% sure it won't bite.

Original poster
dearme · 13/05/2005 23:12

Surely you don't think I would ever consider having kids here again with the dog loose? NEVER under any circumstances whatsoever.

I asked the parents of the kid if they had any strong feelings about putting the dog down, they said no they didn't, they know us(not very well) but have been to our house previously, seen the dog and the kids. They were as surprised as we were.

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hercules · 13/05/2005 23:13

Please tell other people what this dog has done before allowing other children round. You as a parent know and have made that decision for your kids but give other parents the same chance.

hercules · 13/05/2005 23:13

So what about walks out? Will you keep it on lead and stop children approaching it?

Original poster
dearme · 13/05/2005 23:17

I am conscious of the fact that there is no way we can be 100% certain he won't bite one of ours. That is one more stressful thing in this whole sorry story.

So no-one think that my idea of paying something on account now is a suitable compromise?

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