Income support visit-Am panicking! please give me some advice...

[NeedCoffee]

background info-I left exp over 7 years ago, we had bought a house together 9 years ago, I left due to domestic abuse, the CSA had me sign a form saying that it would be harmful to myself and dd to try and get any money out of him(which it would have been, I had an injuction etc) Anyway, am now still living as a single parent, with dd1 and had dd2 18months after a failed relationship.

I am currently at college one day a week studying to be an accountant, dd2 is in nursery which i pay for myself.

I have a bf, known him for 9 months, see him most weekends and maybe a couple of times in the week on an evening, occasionally he'll sleep over but doesn't have any things here and i certainly never get any financial help from him.

anyway-i received a letter this morning to say a query has arisen re my benefits, I immediately thought that it would be to do with my bf(have a neighbour that has developed a grudge against me after i reported him to the police for being a peeping Tom so suspected that he may have reported me maliciously) which i am not too worried about as i'm pretty sure things are above board regarding him. But then, i looked on the net and found that there seem to be recent cases where benefits have been stopped and over payments discovered due to claimants having property(i think its over £16000 for capital) with their ex partners. I'm pretty sure i would have declared that my name is on the mortgage of ex's property, although i receive nothing from it, in fact, i don't even know what state its in at the moment, but if this visit is regarding the house and they say i should never have had benefits in the first place does this mean that i am going to end up owing thousands? Does anyone have any experience of this please? I am worrying myself sick over it.

Have absolutly no idea about property, but I do know that you can be done for benefit fruad for letting a bloke stay for even one night.

Bumping for you - good luck x

Really CrackerNut?
I once had a visit about my benefits. I'm sure a malicious neighbour told them my then BF lived here. He didn't he lived hundreds of miles away but would be here once a month for 3-4 days and for a week or so when he had holiday from work.
I told them the truth and they were fine.
They did keep on about it while they ewre here, insisting the model cars I have must belong to a man but eventually believed they were mine (They are!).
They never said I wasn't allowed to have him stay here, just so long as it wasn't all the time, and so long as he wasn't contributing financially which he never did, He did all the travelling so I never asked or expected money from him while he was here.

I was told by them that technically you shouldn't even take a bloke home who you might meet on a night out, which is just daft.

They did actually caution me though for letting xp stay for 1 night.

Anyhow, it might not be anything to do with that. Hope it goes ok.

thanks everyone-i was worried it is about dp(Don't know if i can even call him that!!) because he is becoming a part of our lives and hopefully in the future we will move in together, but i certainly do not want to be rushing things. However if it is about the house then I have no idea what I am going to do, I think i'm going to ring them in morning, as I can't spend aall weekend panicking, don't know if i'll even sleep tonight, wish i'd never looked on the internet about it and just waited to see what they say at the visit. Also, if its not about the house then i'm gonig to have to speak to them about it to make sure i'm not making a dodgy claim without knowing!

bump for anyone with any more advice/info please

Bump

did you manage to call them for advice this morning...hopefully they will sort it out for you

Crackernut - when I first met dp someone told the benefits agency we were living together when we weren't. (He lived down the road)
They visited us both and said it was absolutely fine for him to stay over as long as he didn't contribute and was registered at another address - which he was.
Needcoffee - I don't know about the mortgage situation but it might be a good idea to find out about getting your name off the mortgage now as if he gets into arrears you would be liable too wouldn't you?
Re the benefits people - just be honest with them. The lady that came to see us was really nice and fair - they aren't all monsters!!

Thanks Ginny, I have all intentions of being honest as i don't have anything to hide.

Bentneck-I have called them, they said the letter is badly worded, its just to make sure all my information is up to date, and they're not interested in the mortgage as they don't pay anything towards it.

I can't afford to remove my name yet(still) and exdp won't pay for it, also their is no way he would sell it either, and even if i went through court to have it sold, my life(and dd1) would be made hell, by him, his family and friends.

I don't believe that they are only visiting 'to check everything is up to date' as they said that a few years ago on the phone after my (not so d)b reported my Mum was staying with me, and then when they actually visited asked about my mum and any boyfriends etc-but if it is just with regards to dp then i am not too concerned with the visit. Guess i'll just have to wait and see what they say, the woman that is visiting me isn't at work till Tuesday anyway.

Thanks for all the replies

NeedCoffee...glad they clarified it a little for you...most of these letters will be standard copies and not edited to suit an individual circumstance...with the end result that people can get a little confused when they receive something unexpected.

I thought if you had a financial interest in a property (ie were on the mortgage and deeds) if it was over the usual savings limit allowed for IS it disqualified you from claiming it?

There are no set rules on having partners staying overnight, they base it on lots of factors - ie do you eat together, go shopping etc.

I had all benefits stopped because I had to get a mortgage on mum's house when she died, and am now financially beggered, as the equity is more than £16,000. So even though I still have no income, they use it as savings. Apparently the same goes if you can get an overdraft-you cannot have IS/HB if you can get an overdraft (so they told me!), so I basically live off CTC and my overdraft until the house (eventually!) sells!

happymummy-that is what worries me, 8 years ago it wouldn't have been over the threshold but now its possible that it could be.

Paws-that is so shit, why can't they take individual circumstances into consideration?

oh didn't see that bit Paws, i also have got a £1000 overdraft, they're talking crap.

"Have absolutly no idea about property, but I do know that you can be done for benefit fraud for letting a bloke stay for even one night."

Hmmm, depends - if the man staying one night a week is someone you claim to have separated from, or if the bloke is supporting you financially but only living away so your claim can be maintained then yes, you can. I would and have investigated those situations and suspected that the entire claim from separation was fraudulent. You said he was your ex partner CrackerNut - if you claimed benefit because you'd separated then it's no wonder they investigated when he started staying over again. But taking home a bloke after one night being fraud, sorry that's utter bollocks! Complete rubbish! I have no doubt the investigator knew that when he told you. What a dickhead.

And no, you're right, they don't do visits just to check that everything is up to date. They just don't have the resources for that, especially not now! Unfortunately though it does raise suspicions when an already lone parent has another child and remains single. I know it's a fact of life but it does raise questions as to whether you and the father are in a stable and committed relationship.

Be aware that they have no right to ask to look around your home and particularly in your bedroom but it might just be easier to show them that there are no men's clothes in the wardrobe or shaving gel in the bathroom, as intrusive as that might sound. It's something I never did but some of the new breed of investigator aren't as nice (yet deadly!) as I was in my day. Just be open and honest about your situation but also firm and assertive if need be. If they take a statement from you read it and only sign if you are completely happy with what it says. I'm sure you'll be fine!

-they told me such rubbish!!! I had a £100 overdraft and they did a re-calculation, and then got a bigger one when I got the mortgage and they said I def couldn't have HB as I had access to money elsewhere (i.e. the overdraft).

Thanks Technofairy, I really appreciate your feedback. Its so hard to know what is classed as OK, I mean i assume they don't want to stop me having a life...but does that mean i can't spend a weekend away with him or go for a meal, can he come round here for tea or to help me do diy or anything like that? As i say, i'm not overly concerned if it is re bf, i was more worried about exps house, do you know anything about that?

I realise it can look dodgy with me having dd2, but at the time i had to be moved via special allocation due to dd2s father making threats as he didn't want me to continue the(planned!) pregnancy, so at least there should be some reports lodged with the council re that to try and prove that i have not been falsely claiming, and also, now that i've met a seemingly decent bloke I certainly don't want to rush into anything plus he has his own house/mortgage and bills to pay, i don't think he'd be able to pay mine aswell!

You're welcome NeedCoffee. As much as deliberate benefit fraud seriously pisses me off, so does poor customer service and advice.

You are allowed to have a life while on benefits as a lone parent, of course you are. The problems arise when you consider yourself to be in a relationship but decide not to live together because it's financially better to live apart. That is benefit fraud.

Whilst I appreciate you don't want to rush things, and who would, the fact that he has his own bills to pay is irrelevant. If you are spending a few nights a week at each others houses and he is doing DIY at yours then I'm afraid DWP could argue that you are living together in reality. Whilst I can accept that you aren't living together because you're not ready, if you told the person who visits that you're only not living together because he can't afford to support you then big alarm bells would ring. Why should the tax payer support you if he can't?

I think you need to stress that you are working towards a recognised qualification and intend to support yourself and get off benefits as soon as you can rather than diving into another relationship where a man will support you. Leave your boyfriend out of any discussions if he is not relevant and is not supporting you financially and perhaps reduce the amount of time he spends at your home, just in case it is your neighbour who is reporting you.

You should also mention the problems you've had with him to whoever visits you so they are aware that there may be malicious allegations. We always took note of this. Our resources were precious and we were always keen not to waste them satisfying someone else's neighbour wars.

Techno, you're fab

"I think you need to stress that you are working towards a recognised qualification and intend to support yourself and get off benefits as soon as you can rather than diving into another relationship where a man will support you."

is EXACTLY what i am trying to do, tbh bf probably would be able to afford to support us if he sold his house, moved in here etc, BUT my goal is to finish my education and get a decent job so that i am able to support myself and dcs regardless of whether i have a man in my life and then may think about buying my house or a house together.
Also, i realised that if i have been reported for a man staying over, that could have been when the neighbour that i suspect reported it hadn't been caught looking through my fence into my house, so i knew that someone was doing it, but not who-I had a very scary looking male friend stay over a couple of nights hoping it would scare them off and that they would think i did have a man living with me, it was reported to the police, so i will mention that to them also.

By the way i do do my own diy, wouldn't trust a man to do it

Techno - what is the situation viewed as with DH and I.

We seperated last year (March) and have been living seperate lives since then. However in January this year we've been "dating" again and he's been here sometimes, and I've on occasion been to his.

He's not supporting me (at all - not even child maintenance at the moment lol) and when he comes here I cook for him out of stuff in my freezer. We are in effet "boyfriend/girlfriend".

The only "clothes" he has here (infact only thing of his at all) is his wedding suit - and that's because he doesn't have a wardrobe to hang it in.

We're not living together again because we don't know yet whether it's actually going to work - we need to see if our relationship works before.

And yes - he has stayed over for odd nights......

Does this mean that if someone were to check us out I'm comitting benefit fraud?

I'm in a relationship where we live apart too FAQ. Thing is with me is I hated being married and don't particularly want to ever live with a man again! But I have a boyfriend......and I had his baby too. But I had such bad dv with my ex, I really just want to live separately. He visits. But I can't ever put all my eggs in one basket so to speak , ever again

Aww, thanks NeedCoffee! I'm sure you'll be fine.

FAQinglovely - I don't you are committing benefit fraud. Your separation was and is real. Yes, you may be getting to know each other again but if he wasn't your husband nobody could say that the two of you were 'living together'. DWP look at lots of things which I can't go into detail about but if all is as you say it is then I don't think you would have any problems if you were checked out. What you've said here sounds reasonable to me. The key thing is that if you do decide to give it another go that you stop claiming benefits.

ILoveTIFFANY - your situation is slightly different and please don't take offence. I'm just saying how it could be viewed. You're in a stable relationship with your boyfriend and have had his child. It is your choice not to live with him and have him support you/your household. So why should the taxpayer? Your dislike of marriage is irrelevant. If you want to have a relationship and have a child and live apart from your partner then you should fund it, not the state. You don't say whether he pays maintenance or contributes financially so it's difficult to give a rounded answer.

The bottom line is that the welfare state is there to provide a safety net for those in need and not to fund lifestyle choices. Sorry, but that's the way it is. It's unlikely your claim would come up to be checked unless someone reported you and your explanation could well be accepted but personally speaking I wouldn't be happy about it. Sorry.

oh god yes - I can't wait to get off them if we ever get to the stage of being back together properly.........I just feel like I'm walking on egg shells trying to see if we can do that.

On the odd night he's stayed over I've been really jumpy, counting the days since he last stayed over, making sure it's not too often.

He doesn't even bring a bag with him when he comes, shoves a tooth brush and clean pants in his pocket and comes like that incase someone says he's "living" here.

It's been even worse the last 2 times he's stayed - as he can't currently have the DS's at his when it's his weekend (no furniture - 2 weeks after moving in he's finally got a bed today!) - so he's been staying here and I've just let them get on with it.

He's been bringing treats/snacks for the DS's, but I've been providing the meals (and yes he's been sleeping in my bed with me LOL).