Income support visit-Am panicking! please give me some advice...

[NeedCoffee]

background info-I left exp over 7 years ago, we had bought a house together 9 years ago, I left due to domestic abuse, the CSA had me sign a form saying that it would be harmful to myself and dd to try and get any money out of him(which it would have been, I had an injuction etc) Anyway, am now still living as a single parent, with dd1 and had dd2 18months after a failed relationship.

I am currently at college one day a week studying to be an accountant, dd2 is in nursery which i pay for myself.

I have a bf, known him for 9 months, see him most weekends and maybe a couple of times in the week on an evening, occasionally he'll sleep over but doesn't have any things here and i certainly never get any financial help from him.

anyway-i received a letter this morning to say a query has arisen re my benefits, I immediately thought that it would be to do with my bf(have a neighbour that has developed a grudge against me after i reported him to the police for being a peeping Tom so suspected that he may have reported me maliciously) which i am not too worried about as i'm pretty sure things are above board regarding him. But then, i looked on the net and found that there seem to be recent cases where benefits have been stopped and over payments discovered due to claimants having property(i think its over £16000 for capital) with their ex partners. I'm pretty sure i would have declared that my name is on the mortgage of ex's property, although i receive nothing from it, in fact, i don't even know what state its in at the moment, but if this visit is regarding the house and they say i should never have had benefits in the first place does this mean that i am going to end up owing thousands? Does anyone have any experience of this please? I am worrying myself sick over it.

oh actually - I did do some washing for him the other day - he dropped it round in a black bag on his way to the gym (had already paid for the membership before he was fired) and picked it up on his way home. But that's because he has no washing machine yet and so no way to wash his clothes.

Thanks Techno - the staying over regularly (ie at his set weekends) hopefully won't be for much longer (I want my childfree house back on my weekends "off" for starters ) - we're working on sorting his furniture out - Freecycle produced a double bed for him to sleep on today, and hopefully he'll have a washing machine, sofa/chairs and some beds for the boys soon too

oh and he's back in the marital home - I'm renting privately now LOL. He's staying at "mine" (and it's all mine - his name nowhere to be seen heheh - never had that one with a property either owned or rented before) LOL.

Ah right I see. You took all the furniture then lol??

If it's a temporary arrangement him staying over then I wouldn't worry about it. But - you know what I'm going to say - if you get back together stop claiming or you could find that they decide your entire claim is fraudulent and sting you with a massive overpayment!

Makes no difference having separate addresses I'm afraid. I'd hate to tell you how many hours I've spent parked outside peoples houses taking pictures of 'ex' partners leaving early in the morning!

Yes I stayed there initially - and he left all the furniture for me and moved into shared. He did eventually find a place of his own - fully furnished. Meanwhile though he could no longer afford to pay the mortgage so repossession was (and still is?) looking likely. So rather than me wait until I was forced to leave I found myself a house to rent with the DS's. Taking all the furniture he'd left in the marital home here with me (with his blessing I hasten to add LOL).

By "back together" - how do they decide that? Seeing more of each othe, sharing finances (he's not getting his fingers on any of my money until we're back living together - if that ever happens ),

And when he has stayed over there's certainly no leaving early - the DS's won't let him LOL.

sorry for thread hijack OP

Techno - can you tell I'm slightly neurotic about making sure I stay on the "legal" side of it all

It's difficult to give a precise answer on how you judge that someone is back together. Seeing more of each other, staying over and sharing finances are two indicators yes.
Each case is looked at individually and judged on the circumstances.

Just be aware that they do use surveillance and can visit you at any time without giving you notice. If they visit when he is there or you've got his washing drying on the line then you could find yourself in a sticky situation!

Not sure I can give you any advice other than be aware of how your 'dating' relationship could appear to others and particularly if you find yourself having to explain it.

oh I didn't dry his washing - I shoved it straight back in the black bag when it came out the machine and he carried it back to his to dry. And once he's got a washing machine sorted there's no way I'm washing his clothes again (although I do appear to have 2 pairs of his socks that DS1 has claimed for his own in my laundr cycle these days LOL.

tbh I think if it got to the stage where he was staying frequently and we were sharing finances then he would be moving in with me and we'd both be cancelling our current claim for benefit and applying again as a couple.

Thanks for all your advice

tbh looking at the state of my house now I'm more concerned about them seeing it in this state if they did an unannounced visit than them viewing us as back together

LOL don't worry about the hijack FAQ, and thankd techno fo being so helpful

Need Coffee,

have you had your home visit yet as i would like also to know what happend, as I have also got a letter saying a query has popped up and they r going to visit me. I have spoke to the man who is going to visit me but he said its just routine nothing to worry about and its because I havnt been on benefits for very long ( last 3 months or so)....